Friends of Bill W.

[tomboystud]

July 8
The "G" word
“It is important for you to know that you will hear God mentioned at NA meetings. What we are referring to is a Power greater than ourselves that makes possible what seems impossible.”
IP No. 22, Welcome to NA
––––=––––
Most of us come to Narcotics Anonymous with a variety of preconceptions about what the word “God” means, many of them negative. Yet the “G” word is used very regularly in NA, if not constantly. It occurs 92 times in the first 103 pages of our Basic Text, and appears prominently in a third of our Twelve Steps. Rather than sidestep the sensitivity many of us feel toward the word, let’s address it head on.
It’s true that Narcotics Anonymous is a spiritual program. Our Twelve Steps offer a way to find freedom from addiction through the help of a spiritual Power greater than we are. The program, however, doesn’t tell us anything about what we have to think about that Power. In fact, over and over again, in our literature and our steps and our meetings, we hear it said, “the God of our understanding”—whatever that understanding may be.
We use the word “God” because it’s used in our Basic Text and because it communicates most effectively to most people a basic understanding of the Power underlying our recovery. The word, we use for the sake of convenience. The Power behind the word, however, we use for more than convenience. We use that Power to maintain our freedom from addiction and to ensure our ongoing recovery.
––––=––––
Just for today: Whether I believe in “God” or not, I will use the Power that keeps me clean and free.

Copyright © 1991-2013 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 9


Night Clothes and Bed Clothes


Is there any indulgence quite like that of clean sleepwear warm from the laundry? Pulling on jammies over squeaky clean skin and the little shutter that goes with tired hedonism is a pleasure without formed words, left for grateful sounds and little moans. Hard work creates more than stability, more than cash flow and more than mere exhaustion, hard work changes my mind about delight and allows me to see it in the most obvious, most subtle of places. My bed has become haven, hospital, refuge and I am tucked up in my nest and safely out of my mind.



Tidy around your messy emotions


*

THE WATER YOU DRINK

Anyone who has to be drug to water
Doesn’t deserve a drink. said my sponsor
What about raising the bottom? I question.

I’m not talking about that
I am discussing people you try to convince into recovery
The folks you try to accommodate
.
The ones you attempt to bend reality for
These are the type who will piss in your well
Let me be clear--------

I am not concerned with individuals who piss in the pool
Which is rude and disgusting
But basically not life threatening
.
When your well is defiled
When the place you draw your drinking water from
Is used as a chamber pot--- your life is at risk.

Don’t ever pull your pants down
Over someone’s fresh water
Don’t let anyone squat with their bare ass over your sobriety

[tomboystud]

July 9
We do recover!
“...the time has come when that tired old lie, ‘Once an addict, always an addict,’ will no longer be tolerated by either society or the addict himself. We do recover.”
Basic Text, p. 89
––––=––––
From time to time, we hear speakers share that they don’t really understand spiritual principles yet. They tell us that if we knew what went on in their minds, we’d be amazed at how insane they still are. They tell us that the longer they’re clean, the less they know about anything. In the next breath, these same speakers tell us about the profound changes recovery has made in their lives. They have moved from complete despair to unfailing hope, from uncontrollable drug use to total abstinence, from chronic unmanageability to responsibility through working the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous. Which story is true? Do we or don’t we recover?
We may think we demonstrate humility or gratitude by underplaying the change that recovery has brought to our lives. True, we do injustice to the program when we take credit for this miracle ourselves. But we do an equal injustice—to ourselves and to those we share with—when we don’t acknowledge this miracle’s magnitude.
We do recover. If we have trouble seeing the miracle of recovery, we’d better look again. Recovery is alive and at work in Narcotics Anonymous—in our oldtimers, in the newcomers flooding our meetings, and most of all in ourselves. All we have to do is open our eyes.
––––=––––
Just for today: I will acknowledge the miracle of my recovery and be grateful that I’ve found it.

Copyright © 1991-2013 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 10


Special


Is it the wiring between my ears, the size of the pump in my chest? The difference which can be seen when you look from me to the neighbors? I know that you feel me to be special. I feel me to be special, too, just like you. Defining that thing, that combination which unlocks the mundane is more than just an attempt to point a finger; it’s a search for that little light. Close and closer we pull together and that is special, but now I will whisper it, tell you the secret truth is my ability to play. Come play with me!




Whistle with the tune the wind brings you

*






IT’S MY PARTY

The party I was throwing myself in addiction
Was nothing but a very long wake.
There were no smiles, only murmurs of what might have been.
I was filled with tears I couldn’t cry
And mourned my death as I caused it.

When I took off my little black dress
And stepped from this shroud
I closed the bar, clicked the switch and the dirge stopped.
The funeral ended prematurely
I walked into AA where I learned to be the life of the party.

[tomboystud]

July 10
A positive attitude
“That old nest of negativism followed me everywhere I went.”
Basic Text, p. 137
––––=––––
A negative attitude is the trademark of active addiction. Everything that occurred in our lives was someone or something else’s fault. We had blaming others for our shortcomings down to a fine science. In recovery, one of the first things we strive to develop is a new attitude. We find that life goes a lot easier when we replace our negative thinking with positive principles.
While a negative attitude dogged us in our active addiction, all too often it can follow us into the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous. How can we begin to adjust our attitudes? By altering our actions. It isn’t easy, but it can be done.
We can start by listening to the way we talk. Before we open our mouths, we ask ourselves some simple questions: Does what I’m going to say speak to the problem, or the solution? Is what I’m going to say framed in a kind manner? Is what I have to say important, or would everyone be just as well off if I kept my mouth shut? Am I talking just to hear myself talk, or is there some purpose to my “words of wisdom”?
Our attitudes are expressed in our actions. Often, it’s not what we say, but the way we say it, that really matters. As we learn to speak in a more positive manner, we will notice our attitudes improving as well.
––––=––––
Just for today: I want to be free of negativity. Today, I will speak and act positively.

Copyright © 1991-2013 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 11

Let God Do What?


I hesitate to let go to G-d because I fear that G-d doesn’t like me, or likes me now, but doesn’t like me all the time. I think I got this belief from being the only child of parents who don’t like children. It never mattered how good I was, how smart or thoughtful, well informed, helpful, I always ended up being treated like I was a burden, someone to be endured. If only I was likeable, I would think to myself and try recreating me to become….what? Finally I settled on indispensable, if I could make myself necessary, then my life would be okay. People would need me therefore they would want me. What I discovered is that people who can’t live without me end up resenting me. By the time I was so important to others I was no longer important to me, so I didn’t need G-d’s help because I didn’t need anything, I didn’t exist. Over time what I have settled on are a few truths: People who don’t like kids shouldn’t have them. And I need G-d’s help to learn how to want to be here on this planet since I was not brought to earth by people who wanted me.



Title your dreams
*

SYMPTOMATIC BOUQUET

My bouquet of symptoms took root in alcoholism
I displayed these blossoms to few.
I thought I could keep these problem posies to myself.

No need to worry
Everyone has a bit of manure in their lives.
Mine hardly seem strange.

Planted in addiction things grew in a dramatic way
Pruning became unworkable,
Drastic measures were required.

Uprooted and exposed these virulent stalks
Created the need for help from better gardeners than I.
Thinned and repotted these character traits
Have fruited many a lovely harvest.

None of which could have happened
Had I been left in the family plot.

[tomboystud]

July 11
Encouragement
“We share comfort and encouragement with others.”
Basic Text, p. 99
––––=––––
Many of us have watched as babies take their first steps. The mother holds the child on its feet. The father kneels nearby with outstretched arms, encouraging the little one, his face flooded with devotion. The baby takes a few small steps toward its father. An older brother and sister cheer the tyke on. Baby falls down. Its mother, murmuring words of comfort, picks the child up and starts over again. This time, baby stays up until it is close enough to fall into the safety of its father’s arms.
As newcomers, we arrive in the rooms of NA much like this small child. Accustomed to living a life crippled by addiction, full of fear and uncertainty, we need help to stand. Just like a child beginning its march toward adulthood, we take our halting first steps toward recovery. We learn to live this new way of life because others who have gone before us encourage and comfort us by telling us what worked—and what didn’t work—for them. Our sponsor is there for us when we need a push in the right direction.
Many times we feel like we can’t take another step in recovery. Just like a child learning to walk, we sometimes stumble or fall. But our Higher Power always awaits us with outstretched arms. And like the child’s brothers and sisters shouting their encouragement, we, too, are supported by other NA members as we walk toward a full life in recovery.
––––=––––
Just for today: I will seek encouragement from others. I will encourage others who may need my strength.

Copyright © 1991-2013 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved