If You Could Turn Back Time, What Would You Do Differently?

Bèsame* · 07-18-2013, 08:14 AM

I only wish the Lesson of " I can not change anyone, I can only change myself. I am not the fixer", would have presented its self sooner in my life.

thedivahrrrself · 07-22-2013, 10:11 AM

There are very few major things I would have done differently. I might have talked a little less and listened a little more, definitely. But I don't regret the people I have loved - they helped to shape who I am. And the people I have lost - mostly, they knew how much they meant to me. Yes, I stick my foot in my mouth a lot, but those who love me tend to forgive me.

I think the thing I would have done most differently is stop looking to someone else to guide me and start looking for more answers from within. It opened the door for a lot of people to manipulate me, and I still fall into those habits from time to time. I would have spent less time exploring the submissive side of myself and started exploring the power I have within instead. Rather than looking for someone to control me, perhaps I should have learned to control myself.

If I could turn back time, I would have a harsh talk with myself about my own self-worth. I would tell the younger me that I am fully deserving of all good things, and I would refuse to accept the way I allowed a lot of people treat me over the course of my lifetime, particularly when I was very young.

The last few years have been pretty phenomenal - they have forced me to grow and learn a lot about myself, some of it I needed, but didn't want, to know. I have actively made sure the people in my life, be they friend or lover (or some mix of both), were good people, to the core of their being. These people will never know the value of their companionship - they collectively have helped me to feel worthwhile for the first time in my life. With their help, I will not repeat the mistakes of my past. I will spend the next 30 years making up for the last 30, and I'll be good to myself.

But after all that, I thought of one decision I would totally take back.... I would have never bought that Chevy Aveo!

girl_dee · 07-22-2013, 11:58 AM

i would have not made major financial decisions after Katrina.

Cid · 07-22-2013, 05:08 PM

As I'm reading these posts, one thing seems to stand out for me. I would have given myself more credit and more self worth.
I think that was the one thing that really controls much of it, was that I didn't give myself enough worth. I would have gone to school and done better for myself. If I had given myself the strength within, I wouldn't have taken the abuse that I did. I would have kicked the asshole to the ground.

I would have to say that changing my eating habits would have been a good choice and my spending habits too.

But I think the one biggest thing that I would change in the past is that I would have listened to my kids more. It's not that I didn't appreciate them, but that being a single mom (my exhusband and I worked opposite shifts) made it difficult to get the rest that I needed to give that energy. I should have gotten them out and exercising. It would have made for a better emotional connection between my kids and my connection with them.
And I would have done far more family trips. Even small trips count.

PoeticSilence · 08-03-2013, 12:09 AM

I'd have paid a lot more attention to family recipes and the importance of buying a house with a large kitchen.

deathbypoem · 08-12-2013, 12:26 PM

I would of rounded up the minutes into something a little more odd.

sierragirrl · 08-12-2013, 07:37 PM

I would of had surgery 20 yrs ago!
such a life saver, a second chance at life.
I would of left sooner and not had 5 yrs of crap drain who I was
however I am layin those life's stepping stones down and building my OWN path.
I got this

07-18-2013, 08:14 AM	#1
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: loved by many Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 15,379 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,115 Thanked 40,946 Times in 10,731 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	I only wish the Lesson of " I can not change anyone, I can only change myself. I am not the fixer", would have presented its self sooner in my life. __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.

07-22-2013, 10:11 AM	#2
thedivahrrrself Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Sapiosexual Femme Relationship Status: Mrs. Grumpy Cat Tournaments Won: 4 Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: 8,660 feet high in the Andes Posts: 2,640 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,519 Thanked 11,658 Times in 2,292 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	There are very few major things I would have done differently. I might have talked a little less and listened a little more, definitely. But I don't regret the people I have loved - they helped to shape who I am. And the people I have lost - mostly, they knew how much they meant to me. Yes, I stick my foot in my mouth a lot, but those who love me tend to forgive me. I think the thing I would have done most differently is stop looking to someone else to guide me and start looking for more answers from within. It opened the door for a lot of people to manipulate me, and I still fall into those habits from time to time. I would have spent less time exploring the submissive side of myself and started exploring the power I have within instead. Rather than looking for someone to control me, perhaps I should have learned to control myself. If I could turn back time, I would have a harsh talk with myself about my own self-worth. I would tell the younger me that I am fully deserving of all good things, and I would refuse to accept the way I allowed a lot of people treat me over the course of my lifetime, particularly when I was very young. The last few years have been pretty phenomenal - they have forced me to grow and learn a lot about myself, some of it I needed, but didn't want, to know. I have actively made sure the people in my life, be they friend or lover (or some mix of both), were good people, to the core of their being. These people will never know the value of their companionship - they collectively have helped me to feel worthwhile for the first time in my life. With their help, I will not repeat the mistakes of my past. I will spend the next 30 years making up for the last 30, and I'll be good to myself. But after all that, I thought of one decision I would totally take back.... I would have never bought that Chevy Aveo! __________________ Small business owners around the world use microfinance to help expand their businesses and provide for their families. You can help! Click here to learn about Kiva.

07-22-2013, 05:08 PM	#4
Cid Member How Do You Identify?: ultra femme princess Preferred Pronoun?: she, lady..whichever Relationship Status: waiting for the right one Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Don't follow me, I'm lost. Posts: 807 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,627 Thanked 2,731 Times in 632 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	As I'm reading these posts, one thing seems to stand out for me. I would have given myself more credit and more self worth. I think that was the one thing that really controls much of it, was that I didn't give myself enough worth. I would have gone to school and done better for myself. If I had given myself the strength within, I wouldn't have taken the abuse that I did. I would have kicked the asshole to the ground. I would have to say that changing my eating habits would have been a good choice and my spending habits too. But I think the one biggest thing that I would change in the past is that I would have listened to my kids more. It's not that I didn't appreciate them, but that being a single mom (my exhusband and I worked opposite shifts) made it difficult to get the rest that I needed to give that energy. I should have gotten them out and exercising. It would have made for a better emotional connection between my kids and my connection with them. And I would have done far more family trips. Even small trips count. __________________ Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

08-03-2013, 12:09 AM	#5
PoeticSilence Member How Do You Identify?: dodges labels Relationship Status: Estranged Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Midwest Posts: 454 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3 Thanked 919 Times in 277 Posts Rep Power: 10661585	I'd have paid a lot more attention to family recipes and the importance of buying a house with a large kitchen. __________________ Love is all you need.

08-12-2013, 12:26 PM	#6
deathbypoem Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Poetically versed to breathe only truth and bleed certainty Preferred Pronoun?: Kane Relationship Status: Married to Chefnaction Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Finally, home Posts: 1,987 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,900 Thanked 4,735 Times in 1,583 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I would of rounded up the minutes into something a little more odd. __________________ I need your grace To remind me To find my own

07-22-2013, 11:58 AM	#3
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,833 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	i would have not made major financial decisions after Katrina.

08-12-2013, 07:37 PM	#7
sierragirrl Member How Do You Identify?: .... Relationship Status: <3 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: ..... Posts: 783 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,417 Thanked 2,870 Times in 667 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I would of had surgery 20 yrs ago! such a life saver, a second chance at life. I would of left sooner and not had 5 yrs of crap drain who I was however I am layin those life's stepping stones down and building my OWN path. I got this