Body Image Issues

[Mrs. Strutt]

Thank you all so much for your posts...it is good to know I'm not alone in this.

I am a hair stylist, in an industry that promotes a lot of this "image." However, I deal almost exclusively with curly hair and teach women how to love, take care of and embrace their natural curls in a society that values bleached blonde, pin-straight, flat-ironed tresses as the beauty standard.

It's ironic to me that I can educate and carry this message with a vengeance, yet can't ignore the same societal standards about weight when it comes to myself.

[Miss Scarlett]

I am also at war with body image issues. At the moment I am in the lead. Having lost over 130 lbs in the last 1.5 years I still see myself as the 342.5 lb woman I was, though not as often. But she will always be there lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce whenever I am vulnerable.

By far I am no a fan of Jessica Simpson but her show "The Price of Beauty" is worth watching. Whatever her reason for doing the show, it is very interesting to see what is considered beautiful/sexy in other cultures and what the women are willing to do to achieve that ideal.

http://www.vh1.com/shows/jessica_sim...y/series.jhtml

[Ldyluck88]

In the past 2 yrs. I have gained 25 lbs which is alot for this small framed body of mine. I don't like the body image I see when I look in the mirror, but I know in time, it will change. I lost my home, job, etc. so depression and other life's challenges have affected me emotionally and physically. The good thing is I can make a change little by little with each new day! I may be overweight a tad, but I have not lost my sense of humor!! haha Life is good!!

[Sachita]

I thought this book rang true:

http://www.oprah.com/health/An-Excer...Food-And-God/1

it really makes you think. I've struggled all my life and now that I'm older I wonder why I do the things I do. My diet, for the most part is good. I eat organic and very little meat. For me the struggle is always my spiritual well being and happiness. When I'm happy, at peace then I feel lighter and free.

It's taken me 51 years to start to really figure this out. When I'm sad, depress, unfulfilled I internalize my fears and sadness. I get sick, fat and its an ongoing struggle. Perhaps I'll find a way to escape it or at least be at peace with myself.

anyhow, at least read the link. I think you'll find things in it that will surprise you. It was definitely a shake for me.

[Gemme]

You are absolutely, positively NOT alone in this thinking, Mrs. S.

A lot of folks would look at me and think, "What's YOUR problem?" I suppose to most, I look fine....average. I'm 5 foot 1 1/2 inches tall and 136 pounds. However, I look much heavier because I'm kind of 'squashy' and pear-shaped and only 88 of those pounds are bones and muscles and organs. The rest is water and blood and visceral fat (all good things) and fat fat. I jiggle more than jello and cottage cheese has nothing on me.

I recently had a fitness evaluation done and I am in the 'poor' range of health/fitness. Honestly, that was not a surprise.

So, Hell yeah! I have more than my share of image issues. As cruel as some people can be, I've always been my harshest critic and, until I can find a way to relearn my thought patterns and re-evaluate myself in relation to the world (as in, really? Are my thighs that important to someone else? Does it really matter if I wear a cover up or just the suit?), this isn't going to change.

Good article, Sachita.

[dixie]

Oh yeah...body image issues? I got a ton of 'em. I know they stem back to childhood, but I still can't shake them. My parents had a lovely fairytale marriage where Dad was king of the castle and Mom was his queen. She lavished in the attention and didn't plan on giving it up. Unfortunately for her, antibiotics counteracted the birth control pills and ta-da! Here I be. She made it clear she didn't want kids, and that I was an intrusion on her perfect little world. (And for the record, Dad wanted kids, Mom was vehemently against kids...) Being smacked around all the time by her was nothing compared to the emotional digs I suffered. From the time I was in 3rd grade until I was in my 20s, my mother's comments to me were always the same: "You're too fat", "You're too ugly", "You're too stupid". This obviously made me feel like shit as a kid. By the time I got to high school I had starved my normally-woulda-been-healthy-size 10/12-frame into sizes 3/5. I was also on the honor roll and was told I was a "natural beauty", so I beat her at those too. But you know how it goes...all that just made her taunts get more and more cruel. Luckily, after a lot of talking and therapy, Mom and I have a good relationship now (finally, since I'm almost 31) and she admitted she was wrong in her treatment of me while I was growing up and I try not to blame her for it. But still, she was my mother and I loved her, so I believed her for sooooo many years. Eventhough I forgive her and know now that she made a mistake, all that's kinda hard to unlearn, ya know?

And it doesn't help that when I had my son, I gained 80lbs. I lost most of that finally, and two years ago I was at a very healthy size 14. Then, I got put on new meds that caused serious weight gain. I gained over 100lbs in less than 7 months. Sadly, I never really even noticed it, until someone took a picture of me. I said "holy shit! that can't be me!!!" Yup, it was me. Somehow, in the last few months I've lost approximately 40lbs, so I am luckily on the right track.

But in all honesty...I don't think it will ever really matter what I weigh or what size I wear. I will always be saddled with the negative issue of myself. But that's okay too, because eventhough my body image ISN'T good, I know that the person inside me IS....

[Miss Scarlett]

Originally Posted by dixielady

Oh yeah...body image issues? I got a ton of 'em. I know they stem back to childhood, but I still can't shake them. My parents had a lovely fairytale marriage where Dad was king of the castle and Mom was his queen. She lavished in the attention and didn't plan on giving it up. Unfortunately for her, antibiotics counteracted the birth control pills and ta-da! Here I be. She made it clear she didn't want kids, and that I was an intrusion on her perfect little world. (And for the record, Dad wanted kids, Mom was vehemently against kids...) Being smacked around all the time by her was nothing compared to the emotional digs I suffered. From the time I was in 3rd grade until I was in my 20s, my mother's comments to me were always the same: "You're too fat", "You're too ugly", "You're too stupid". This obviously made me feel like shit as a kid. By the time I got to high school I had starved my normally-woulda-been-healthy-size 10/12-frame into sizes 3/5. I was also on the honor roll and was told I was a "natural beauty", so I beat her at those too. But you know how it goes...all that just made her taunts get more and more cruel. Luckily, after a lot of talking and therapy, Mom and I have a good relationship now (finally, since I'm almost 31) and she admitted she was wrong in her treatment of me while I was growing up and I try not to blame her for it. But still, she was my mother and I loved her, so I believed her for sooooo many years. Eventhough I forgive her and know now that she made a mistake, all that's kinda hard to unlearn, ya know?

This sounds all too familiar. The "song" sung to me by my Mom was similar and every verse began with "Nobody wants a fat _______." Trying to please her I nearly killed myself and developed Bulimarexia. When she died back in 2007 I was well over 300 lbs. By October 2008 I was 341.5. I decided to reclaim my life after seeing myself in a photo from Dad's wedding in August 2008. 130 down and a few more to go...

Now I've still got plenty of issues - most are now current rather than "back issues" and this will continue until my "subscription" expires. But I am learning how to deal with them instead of letting them control me. Not easy but I do feel much better and stronger.

[Miss Scarlett]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Strutt

Thank you all so much for your posts...it is good to know I'm not alone in this.

I am a hair stylist, in an industry that promotes a lot of this "image." However, I deal almost exclusively with curly hair and teach women how to love, take care of and embrace their natural curls in a society that values bleached blonde, pin-straight, flat-ironed tresses as the beauty standard.

It's ironic to me that I can educate and carry this message with a vengeance, yet can't ignore the same societal standards about weight when it comes to myself.

How did I miss this post???

Oh how I wish you worked in NC! I have naturally curly hair and it is extremely difficult to find a stylist who knows how to work with it. I finally found one and she did a magnificent job...but I work in another town now and they don't have weekend or late hours. I hesitate to have anyone else touch my hair since Erin does such a wonderful job. So my hair is getting longer and I won't have it cut until I can take the time from work and money because I pay nearly $90(including tip and parking). Every 6 weeks this gets expensive. It took the talent of this stylist to get me to embrace my curls after fighting them for 47 years. She helped me realize that I have a huge advantage over folks with straight hair that lacks body. I can do anything with mine - in the same week I can have glorious, springy curls, soft waves or use the iron and wear it sleek and straight.

Back in the 80s when I was in therapy for my Bulimarexia my therapist was far from thin. Actually she would be considered morbidly obese. At our first meeting she asked me if I had a problem with her size and my answer was no...and I meant it. Her size was never an issue for me even though her body type was how I perceived mine. We never talked about it again.