How about butch and butch?

Ciaran · 07-27-2013, 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brock

I have local friends who would be defined as a butch on butch couple. Also, saw a lot of that in the army. Personally, it is not for me. I am a stone butch whose only sexual attraction is with the girly femmes - the ones who only enjoy being "done to" and lack all desires of "doing to."

Edit: Need to add, the type femmes I am speaking of above, outside the bedroom, we share equally in the relationship.

Genuinely not trying to be confrontational but I'm not sure that this post rests comfortably with me i.e. maybe not intentional but my reading of it is that being "done to" is an element of being a "girly femme" and "doing to" is something of a polar opposite.

Also, whether someone is "done to" or "doing to" in the bedroom, why does that necessarily indicate a lack of equality in the bedroom ..... surely, if it's what both parties want, it is as equal in the bedroom as sharing equally in the relationship outside of the bedroom.

RockOn · 07-27-2013, 06:29 AM

Ciaran, I am not taking your post as confrontational in the least bit. Maybe I was too specific.

I think we do not understand each other. No problems with that.

Hope no one gets offended that historically, I don't get involved in going back and forth trying to provide better explanations. Some understand, some won't. Ciaran, hope you are good with that ... best I can do.

Happy Saturday to You!

LoyalWolfsBlade · 07-27-2013, 10:26 AM

Brock and others

I get your analogy however may I point out that the "doing to" or not has nothing to do with being butch in my experience. I have been with plenty of butch/trans men and boi/ys that do not do to me it does not make them less butch or less masculine. Neither does the fact that I "do to them" just makes them not stone. Just as there are many different types of lovely femmes out there are just as many sexy butches and trans* that fall some where in the spectrum. It is about their masculinity and our connection for me. Just as it is with femmes...Hence why I am queer...gotta love the grays in life sometimes...
Just my experience.

LoyalWolfsBlade · 07-27-2013, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by qtwithguitar

I'm enjoying reading this thread, thanks to everyone for your thoughts. Most of my experience has been dating femmes but lately I have been finding myself thinking about/noticing butches. The community I live in is very femme/butch only. I like that people are talking about this, makes me feel a little less strange for my thoughts.

Welcome to the site qtwithguitar and never feel strange for your thoughts..there is enough of that out there without us doing it to our self....besides how do you know what you like if you don't listen to yourself no matter what everyone else says. During my youth and the area I lived in butch/femme and transmen relationships rarely existed but that dosen't mean I turn away all femmes or other masculine energy. If I did I would not have had the experience I have had nor would I know myself as well as I do. However I will admit of all the dynamic masculine on masculine doesn't receive enough postive attention in my opinion.

o'queery · 07-27-2013, 11:11 AM

Great Thread.

For me, I have always been been physically/mentally attracted to all of the masculine characteristics of Butch/boi/boy's & Transmen. I never sought out feminine women (for relationships) because my heart was never there. I always say that I adore femmes, I just don't sleep with them.

I came out as lesbian when I was 13 yrs old, and was lucky enough to be in an environment where I could evolve into the boy I now ID as today. I would go so far as to say that I have always felt like more of a fag than anything. I stay positive and grounded enough in who I am that it makes it easier for me to JUST BE.

It's hard to be minority within a minority. It's bad enough when you're not accepted as a whole, but to be an outcast among your own peers leaves a lot of room for my own self acceptance and understanding.

That being said.

The dynamic for me is intense. My ache for all things boy is worn on my sleeve. It's the bond, the understanding, the completeness I feel as an entire person when I am loving and loved by someone who is just like me.

So. Yes. I am.

NitroChrys_Butch · 09-19-2013, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dameonboy

Great Thread.

For me, I have always been been physically/mentally attracted to all of the masculine characteristics of Butch/boi/boy's & Transmen. I never sought out feminine women (for relationships) because my heart was never there. I always say that I adore femmes, I just don't sleep with them.

I came out as lesbian when I was 13 yrs old, and was lucky enough to be in an environment where I could evolve into the boy I now ID as today. I would go so far as to say that I have always felt like more of a fag than anything. I stay positive and grounded enough in who I am that it makes it easier for me to JUST BE.

It's hard to be minority within a minority. It's bad enough when you're not accepted as a whole, but to be an outcast among your own peers leaves a lot of room for my own self acceptance and understanding.

That being said.

The dynamic for me is intense. My ache for all things boy is worn on my sleeve. It's the bond, the understanding, the completeness I feel as an entire person when I am loving and loved by someone who is just like me.

So. Yes. I am.

Wonderful Your Sir is proud. *Smiles.... AND sometimes no one understands a boy/boi/babybutch BETTER than a Butch.

Ginger · 07-27-2013, 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ciaran

Genuinely not trying to be confrontational but I'm not sure that this post rests comfortably with me i.e. maybe not intentional but my reading of it is that being "done to" is an element of being a "girly femme" and "doing to" is something of a polar opposite.

Also, whether someone is "done to" or "doing to" in the bedroom, why does that necessarily indicate a lack of equality in the bedroom ..... surely, if it's what both parties want, it is as equal in the bedroom as sharing equally in the relationship outside of the bedroom.

Long live the logic!

Love it, and not just because I agree.

RockOn · 07-28-2013, 04:55 AM

Finally getting back to you. Started to last night but dinner put it to the back of the queue.

Ciaran, yesterday morning I was in a hurry to leave the house. I owe you the apology for not correctly reading your initial post to my initial post.

Yes, of course there is total equality in the bedroom (as well as outside it) in regards to how I was describing my particular desires but I left out that part. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Otherwise, I would not have caught it.

Please key in on the two words "the ones" where I stated I am attracted to the girly femmes, "the ones" who only enjoy being done to. There are lots and lots of girly femmes who enjoy something different than what I am describing.

Lastly, being "done to" or "doing to" is not something that is defined as masculine or feminine. At least not to me. I have heard that lingo and have used it for years and years. It has served me in providing a shorthand method to describe ... that is all.

I came back to apologize to Ciaran, correct myself and not for the purpose of making myself appear more agreeable to site members.

SirLucian · 08-21-2013, 03:28 PM

great thread

psykftm · 09-09-2013, 02:33 PM

Partly to bump this thing again...

This friend of mine used to be a councilmen, and we've been hanging out and exchanging music (he's a musician) anyway, on top of motivating him to want to change the florida law on being able to change your license to whatever gender you feel is yours, he also became as miserably aware as I am that there is no butch on butch stories, porn, pictures, freakin nothing out there.

He has made a movie before, just a documentary about this lady that helped found a college and put together an orchestra, so he has movie making experience. He was thinking about making a butch on butch movie/love story. Damn that would be so awesome.

If you know any butch/butch movies, let me know because I can't find anything.

Take care,
-psykbutch

butchiegirl · 09-09-2013, 04:21 PM

The idea of being a minority in the queer community makes me smile. Being attracted to someone so much like me is not frowned upon. Meeting a fellow butch that gets my choice of clothes, ultra short hair, and refusal to conform to society's rules can't be impossible. They wink when they see me pass them on the sidewalk. Been told good luck with that quest. It's my destiny, not luck.

o'queery · 09-19-2013, 01:20 PM

Bumping for the LOVE of the masculine exchange between butches/boys/boi's/Ftm's

07-27-2013, 10:26 AM	#3
LoyalWolfsBlade Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Pre-Op FtM, Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones plz Relationship Status: Single but haven't given up on finding the One Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: I gaze upon the same moon as you do Posts: 3,827 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,214 Thanked 9,646 Times in 3,123 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Brock and others I get your analogy however may I point out that the "doing to" or not has nothing to do with being butch in my experience. I have been with plenty of butch/trans men and boi/ys that do not do to me it does not make them less butch or less masculine. Neither does the fact that I "do to them" just makes them not stone. Just as there are many different types of lovely femmes out there are just as many sexy butches and trans* that fall some where in the spectrum. It is about their masculinity and our connection for me. Just as it is with femmes...Hence why I am queer...gotta love the grays in life sometimes... Just my experience. __________________ Life should never be stagnant hence my quest for new knowledge will continue until my last breath. Wolf

07-27-2013, 11:11 AM	#5
o'queery Member How Do You Identify?: serviceboy Preferred Pronoun?: him, hey boy Relationship Status: boyfriend of my joey. <3 Imma lucky bitchboy! Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Off the Grid Posts: 864 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,770 Thanked 1,892 Times in 521 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Boys will be boys Great Thread. For me, I have always been been physically/mentally attracted to all of the masculine characteristics of Butch/boi/boy's & Transmen. I never sought out feminine women (for relationships) because my heart was never there. I always say that I adore femmes, I just don't sleep with them. I came out as lesbian when I was 13 yrs old, and was lucky enough to be in an environment where I could evolve into the boy I now ID as today. I would go so far as to say that I have always felt like more of a fag than anything. I stay positive and grounded enough in who I am that it makes it easier for me to JUST BE. It's hard to be minority within a minority. It's bad enough when you're not accepted as a whole, but to be an outcast among your own peers leaves a lot of room for my own self acceptance and understanding. That being said. The dynamic for me is intense. My ache for all things boy is worn on my sleeve. It's the bond, the understanding, the completeness I feel as an entire person when I am loving and loved by someone who is just like me. So. Yes. I am. __________________ I'm not an artist i'm a fucking work of art

07-28-2013, 04:55 AM	#8
RockOn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: sitting over there ----->>>>> :) Preferred Pronoun?: .... Relationship Status: .... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .... Posts: 3,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,081 Thanked 10,304 Times in 2,610 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	apology to Ciaran Finally getting back to you. Started to last night but dinner put it to the back of the queue. Ciaran, yesterday morning I was in a hurry to leave the house. I owe you the apology for not correctly reading your initial post to my initial post. Yes, of course there is total equality in the bedroom (as well as outside it) in regards to how I was describing my particular desires but I left out that part. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Otherwise, I would not have caught it. Please key in on the two words "the ones" where I stated I am attracted to the girly femmes, "the ones" who only enjoy being done to. There are lots and lots of girly femmes who enjoy something different than what I am describing. Lastly, being "done to" or "doing to" is not something that is defined as masculine or feminine. At least not to me. I have heard that lingo and have used it for years and years. It has served me in providing a shorthand method to describe ... that is all. I came back to apologize to Ciaran, correct myself and not for the purpose of making myself appear more agreeable to site members.

08-21-2013, 03:28 PM	#9
SirLucian Member How Do You Identify?: Revenant I Have Become Indestructible Preferred Pronoun?: Vampir Relationship Status: Ageless One / My Coven, Commanding an Embodied Authority Not Ruled By External Opinions Or Behaviors Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: What Happens at the lake Stays at the lake Posts: 271 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,132 Thanked 560 Times in 166 Posts Rep Power: 12820355	bumping great thread __________________ The Animal I am Welcome to My Lair Leave the world at the door There is a certain Darkness here Rock Walls Dripping with anticipation Life is too long to Live alone Family is Everything

09-19-2013, 01:20 PM	#12
o'queery Member How Do You Identify?: serviceboy Preferred Pronoun?: him, hey boy Relationship Status: boyfriend of my joey. <3 Imma lucky bitchboy! Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Off the Grid Posts: 864 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,770 Thanked 1,892 Times in 521 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	<3 Bumping for the LOVE of the masculine exchange between butches/boys/boi's/Ftm's __________________ I'm not an artist i'm a fucking work of art

07-27-2013, 06:29 AM	#2
RockOn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: sitting over there ----->>>>> :) Preferred Pronoun?: .... Relationship Status: .... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .... Posts: 3,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,081 Thanked 10,304 Times in 2,610 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Ciaran, I am not taking your post as confrontational in the least bit. Maybe I was too specific. I think we do not understand each other. No problems with that. Hope no one gets offended that historically, I don't get involved in going back and forth trying to provide better explanations. Some understand, some won't. Ciaran, hope you are good with that ... best I can do. Happy Saturday to You!

09-09-2013, 02:33 PM	#10
psykftm Junior Member How Do You Identify?: FtM Preferred Pronoun?: he Relationship Status: single, healing Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: palm bay, fl Posts: 41 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 59 Thanked 145 Times in 34 Posts Rep Power: 1779618	Partly to bump this thing again... This friend of mine used to be a councilmen, and we've been hanging out and exchanging music (he's a musician) anyway, on top of motivating him to want to change the florida law on being able to change your license to whatever gender you feel is yours, he also became as miserably aware as I am that there is no butch on butch stories, porn, pictures, freakin nothing out there. He has made a movie before, just a documentary about this lady that helped found a college and put together an orchestra, so he has movie making experience. He was thinking about making a butch on butch movie/love story. Damn that would be so awesome. If you know any butch/butch movies, let me know because I can't find anything. Take care, -psykbutch

09-09-2013, 04:21 PM	#11
butchiegirl Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Minnesota Posts: 4 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2 Thanked 30 Times in 4 Posts Rep Power: 0	The idea of being a minority in the queer community makes me smile. Being attracted to someone so much like me is not frowned upon. Meeting a fellow butch that gets my choice of clothes, ultra short hair, and refusal to conform to society's rules can't be impossible. They wink when they see me pass them on the sidewalk. Been told good luck with that quest. It's my destiny, not luck.