Public Displays of Affection (PDA)

[Nadeest]

I haven't had to deal with this much, yet, as I haven't had a lot of romantic experience since I started transitioning. However, I really don't care too much if people disapprove, if the right person is kissing me. As far as I am concerned, if they start complaining, I'll baptize them at the nearest source of water.

[girllikeu2]

I LOVE touching people. Luckily, I am from a place where it is very acceptable to touch people (people kiss friends and colleagues on the cheek to greet and regularly hug people hello and goodbye) Actually, NOT touching people is considered sort of rude around here.

HOWEVER, there still can be the clenchy reaction to an obvious couple smooching hello or walking down the street hand in hand. I have only ever had ONE very rude experience with an Ex in Texas when we got spit on and followed by a guy who really needed a better thesaurus, but in general I have to say I have been lucky to battle nothing more than the occasional dirty look when I hold hands or snuggle up in a movie theater.

[Femminator]

My wife is not very touchy feelie in public partially because she is a very private person, but also because she has had the crap kicked out of her and her car keyed in the past for being Butch.

We have been together for going on 9 years and it has been difficult for me at times, as I am very affectionate and love for others to know she is my Butch. She is hesitant to show much affection in public still, but she has gotten much better. She will now hold my hand and touch me more in public, if she feels she is in a safe space. She shows her care for me in other ways, hand at my back, carrying packages, opening doors for me, etc. She is getting more comfortable also. I think it has helped that our city is now so large, with many college campuses, and younger Urbanites, who are fine with LGBT people, so they don't bat an eyelash when they see two men or women holding hands. We see it around town more and more everyday.

[DMW]

Great topic and like the comments. For the most part, as an FTM, society perceives me as a biomale. However, one can never be too careful. So, I still think of this. But as a butch I lived it. Just a few points to add.
The one fact that I always come back to (remimd myself of )when it comes to PDA's... one, that i will not always be with her. in addition, any crazy, insecure or jealous person or persons could be watching US. That is what gets to me.
So, i would refrain in certain sitiuations from showing public affection. People would see US together and remember her and I was not always with her.
And really, a fight wouldnt bother me. I know cause i rather enjoy punching people like that.
The part that would freak me out was and is this...I would tell myself...they want to fight you..but, what would they do to her if they got her alone? Not pretty. Fights are nothing compaired to what they would want to do to her.

[stargazingboi]

Originally Posted by DMW

Great topic and like the comments. For the most part, as an FTM, society perceives me as a biomale. However, one can never be too careful. So, I still think of this. But as a butch I lived it. Just a few points to add.
The one fact that I always come back to (remimd myself of )when it comes to PDA's... one, that i will not always be with her. in addition, any crazy, insecure or jealous person or persons could be watching US. That is what gets to me.
So, i would refrain in certain sitiuations from showing public affection. People would see US together and remember her and I was not always with her.
And really, a fight wouldnt bother me. I know cause i rather enjoy punching people like that.
The part that would freak me out was and is this...I would tell myself...they want to fight you..but, what would they do to her if they got her alone? Not pretty. Fights are nothing compaired to what they would want to do to her.

good point...but it brings to mind other things that I have listened to from others I know. Those things you worried about happening to her...would be the sort of people that would do the same thing to a butch/tg/ftm (that has not completed surgery).

Just want to put that out there.. just because a person is masculine by nature does not protect them from that sort of vile attack.

the movie...Boys Don't Cry...is a prime example

[Loren_Q]

There have been some great comments on this thread.

I'm pretty affectionate, maybe it's the Latino thing. And I'm lucky enough to live in a fairly open urban area, although I've had some not-so-great experiences with people yelling (and the occasional thing thrown from a car).

I don't think my affection stems from gender presentation as much as it's what I grew up with. I do think my surroundings at times, but more often than not am comfortable holding hands, putting my arm around her and depending on the environment kissing her.

There was one time when my spouse and I were walking in downtown Palo Alto (during the Prop 8 debacle). There was a street preacher bashing gay marriage, well, bashing gay anything. So my spouse and started making out right behind him, to much applause and cheers.

[DMW]

Originally Posted by stargazingboi

good point...but it brings to mind other things that I have listened to from others I know. Those things you worried about happening to her...would be the sort of people that would do the same thing to a butch/tg/ftm (that has not completed surgery).

Just want to put that out there.. just because a person is masculine by nature does not protect them from that sort of vile attack.

the movie...Boys Don't Cry...is a prime example

Very true. Lower surgery or not. Gay or straight. Rape happens to masculine
people and biomales too. I guess just to try and prove some sick point. Or maybe a biomale who likes males but won't admit it.

Sorry if I derailed the thread. But, my point is, there are nasty people out there and they don't wear a sign on their foreheads that let's me know who they are.
Too bad those nasty people don't get a manditory tattoo on their foreheads while incarcerated. If, in fact, they do get caught.

On a lighter note,
One time, I was walkin hand and hand with my very feminine ex. She lived in a well known lesbian neighborhood. Some dudes driving by real slow yelled out, "dyke" and maybe something else. Well, we turned around, holding hands and she immediatedly yelled," suck my dick ***hole". It was awesome.