Things you should never say on a date.

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by Metro

"Marry me."
– Anonymous

Oh I've heard that on a first date. but they are just being smart-asses.

My last ex, even before she kissed me, told me she wanted us to get a motorhome and travel around Australia with me. lets throw it all away and fuck off babs, me and you.

she was serious. but she's always serious about hair brained ideas for 15 minutes till someone distracts her with a puppet.

[cinnamongrrl]

I was "dating" this girl for over 3 months. There was nooo chemistry. We evolved into a friend thing and I thought that was mutual.
Well....she asked me to look at an apartment with her because she wanted to move. We went and looked at it and proceeded to say things like, this will be our room and this will be your girls' room...etc etc.....
After 3 WHOLE months of knowing each other and going on "dates" and what not...there had been no kissing no nuttin. I don't know what gave her the inkling that we would even consider living together....like ever

[*Anya*]

Reminds me of this woman that contacted me from a dating site about a year ago.

After talking on the phone and emailing twice, without asking me, she reserved a room for us on the Queen Mary and was going to fly over (she lives in Hawaii) to spend the weekend with me.

I said, no, I don't even know you and she says: "but I can tell already we have a real psychic bond".

Uh, no we didn't.



(No offense to anyone with psychic abilities).

[Cin]

I was on a first date with this woman and we went out for dinner, she asked me odd questions that only became clear in retrospect. After dinner I asked her if she would like coffee.

She answers “So what do you think about cleaning yourself out? How about a coffee enema? I have equipment at my apartment.”

I’m like no, thank you, I just meant do you want a cup of coffee. To drink.

I'm sure there is nothing wrong with coffee enemas if you are into them, but I don't think you should just go there on the first date. And it is a non sequitur to ask someone if they want to come back to your apartment for a coffee enema even if they ask if you would like a cup of coffee.

[Katniss]

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

After dinner I asked her if she would like coffee.

She answers “So what do you think about cleaning yourself out? How about a coffee enema? I have equipment at my apartment.”

So what you are trying to say is that offering to give someone a coffee enema is a shitty way to end a date?


Katniss~~(I know, I know....low hanging fruit but I couldn't resist....)

[Cin]

Originally Posted by Katniss

So what you are trying to say is that offering to give someone a coffee enema is a shitty way to end a date?

Yes, you could say that. Not to mention she ended up constipated in her efforts.

[Martina]

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

I'm sure there is nothing wrong with coffee enemas if you are into them, but I don't think you should just go there on the first date.

You keep disturbing those around me by making me laugh. This time it was just the cats. But still. Think before you cause folks to guffaw.

[Martina]

About five years ago, my mom fixed me up. That should have been the red flag right there. Anyway, this butch and I were to go on a date at Christmas time when I visited my mom and dad in Florida. So she starts calling in October. And calling and calling. When she said, "Now I have something to look forward to," that was it. I told her honestly that it was too many calls. And I was dating anyway. When I got home that Christmas, she had sent a centerpiece to my parents. Flowers and piney stuff. She called one more time, and I gently said no.

But implying that a date with a stranger gives you a reason to go on . . . uh no. Not a good idea.

I met her ex, a neighbor of my mother's. And she seems cool. But perhaps she is an ex for a reason.

[Cin]

Originally Posted by Martina

You keep disturbing those around me by making me laugh. This time it was just the cats. But still. Think before you cause folks to guffaw.

LOL.

Although I still believe a first date is too soon to discuss the possibility of putting things up someone's anus, unless of course you met them on an enema play site, it wasn't so much the invitation that was disturbing as the timing. It appeared like she actually thought it was an acceptable, even a logical jumping off point. That it was the epitome of etiquette to invite someone for a coffee enema when they ask you if you would like a cup of coffee. I think if she would have just asked how I felt about recreational enemas during some lull in the conversation I would not have been quite so unsettled. There still wouldn't have been a second date in our future because if enemas are so important to you that you must bring them up on a first date I will be nothing but a huge disappointment to you. Best to end it now.

[Redsunflower]

How have I not seen this thread before?? It's hysterical!

A favourite first date one liner said to me...

'Could you not find a jacket to match your dress then?'

Cheeky git, I looked way hot.

And this...

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

LOL.

Although I still believe a first date is too soon to discuss the possibility of putting things up someone's anus, unless of course you met them on an enema play site, it wasn't so much the invitation that was disturbing as the timing. It appeared like she actually thought it was an acceptable, even a logical jumping off point. That it was the epitome of etiquette to invite someone for a coffee enema when they ask you if you would like a cup of coffee. I think if she would have just asked how I felt about recreational enemas during some lull in the conversation I would not have been quite so unsettled. There still wouldn't have been a second date in our future because if enemas are so important to you that you must bring them up on a first date I will be nothing but a huge disappointment to you. Best to end it now.

Miss Tick you are priceless.

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