Pansexuality

[puddin']

1. Pomosexuals (postmodernism sexuals) are individuals who challenge assumptions about gender and sexuality.

3. Argues that categories and words can't do justice to the complexity of human sexuality.


http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pomosexual

[Butterbean]

Technically, I'm pansexual but out of stubbornness & being sentimental, I continue to maintain bisexual to my ID's.

As some here have already explained, many of us are just open to chemistry with others in a very fluid vein. It interests/amazes/pisses me off how difficult this is for others to understand.

[candy_coated_bitch]

I agree that sexuality is complicated and often more fluid than we assume. I still identify as Queer, and not pansexual, but I definitely fall on the more fluid side of things.

I have my very, very strong preferences when it comes to affinities and sexual attractions. The Butch/Femme dynamic is where my heart really lies and I have partnered mainly with trans men, though I am also attracted to Butch women and genderqueer folks. People who play with/fuck with gender yank my chain. Every now and again a Femme will catch my eye--usually in a strictly sexual/I want to Dominate them way.

Generally speaking, I am less attracted to cis men. I've never said never, but it hadn't ever happened since I was in high school (till now!). Again, attraction-wise, it's like an every now and again thing. I am attracted to Queer masculinity--so if there is a certain quality a cis man has, I can be attracted. I find myself attracted to really faggy gay men more often than any other gender incarnation on the cis man side of things, and also cis men who aren't "traditionally" masculine. (Whatever that means, but that's the best way I can say it.)

Currently I am partnered with a cis man which is a very unusual experience for me and caused an identity crisis for me for a LONG time. But it forced me to really, REALLY become secure in my identity as a Femme and know that my gender identity is my own and not dependent on who I am and am not fucking. I have always said that about Femmes, but when I was faced with living it--it was really fucking intense.

I've been given shit about my partner, and felt invisible, heartbroken at times, and felt like my Queer identity has been called into question. BUT, I now am more fierce than ever. I can fucking tell you that much.

When it comes down to it, I am into a certain type of magical exchange between masculinity and femininity. I have learned I CAN share that with a cis man. Low and behold. So, who the hell cares? My Femme-ness isn't ANY different than it was before I was with him. I don't know why people have to get so rabid about sexualities that are more fluid, or if someone happens to have a relationship that falls out of what we traditionally think a Butch or FTM or Femme (I know that's not an inclusive list) "SHOULD" have.

Oh, and my partner identifies as pansexual.

[puddin']

I'm gender blind... I like who I like.

[princessbelle]

I know how i feel, who i am and what i'm attracted to but gosh, to put a word on it, i just don't know. There are so many labels out there i feel like i'd have to really study it, like in class somewhere to get it right.

Maybe i'm slow on the uptake, seems others know exactly how they fit with what "title". Me not so much.

I do enjoy reading about it but honestly at the end of the day i am just more confused.

Maybe it could be made into some sort of algorithm that in the end will tell you how to claim your label. Of course that would probably be for a day or two because a lot of us evolve and change.

Was just wondering if anyone else finds this confusing. And those that don't...i tip my tiara.

[imperfect_cupcake]

I guess it depends in what circles you run. I generally just call myself a dyke. I like women as gender, butch as gender, transmasculine as gender, queer as gender, boi as gender etc. but I like female bodied people, the end. So I say dyke. Pretty much everyone knows what I mean. I personally tend to simplify things these days. I used to put qualifiers on femme etc. but when I stopped hanging out on line for dates etc and just met people and was able to go to in person community I found labelling really didn't matter as much. The person is in front of you that you are talking to. I prefer to explain individually than to use IDs.... It makes things less confusing. If I'm flirting with someone and going to go home with them, I don't think it matters if I like four genders or two or one. It's obvious I like them. They seem to be pleased with the fact. The only discussion I need to have wth them is letting them know I'm pretty kinky as it will likely directly affect them shortly lol

I tend to not even use the words butch or femme these days in person. If I am directly interacting with them, they can see who I am, how I move and hold myself and how I interact with them. It seems redundant. The only words I seem to use in those kinds of conversation is bottom/top, active/passive, dom/sub as it's hard to tell any of those things. I'm very assertive, a bit bossy at time, not afraid of conflict, very independant and I'm a submissive in the bedroom. So that is something I try to talk about a bit. Everything else... Is apparent when I'm standing and talking to them.

[Ladybug]

Wow, thank you to all of you sharing your really interesting and cool, personal stories.

I started out "straight",or so I thought, and was even married to a man and had two children. When my marriage broke down, I met a woman online, in another country, on a music fan club site. Neither of us was looking to start a relationship, or even to date, but our connection was so strong that we fell for one another. We had not even seen a photograph of one another, and were in love! I went on to meet her in person and have a ten-year relationship with her, which has sadly now ended. I say sadly, because I am still healing from it.

On to the pansexual part: I now realize this is one million percent ME!! It is all about the chemistry and connection I feel with people, and nothing to do with what is under their clothes. If the connection is sexy, I will find the "parts" sexy!