Femmes Who Strap <3

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

as someone who is happy to do it for someone who wants it *and* being single I do feel *on these boards* (but not in my town) that by saying that, people would cross me off for consideration of a date.
most partners, no matter what their sexual proclivities are, generally have not wanted me to out them for anything sexual. that's why I generally talk about vauge exes. none of my partners have "got" my flippant/unconcerned blah blah about sex in a public manner.

THIS in bold, I totally agree and also if they do not cross you off the dating list, they place you on the list of the go to girl for a good fuck, it doesn't matter that you have never even considered them, sexual empowerment comes with assigned shit that is pretty gross and sexist.

Thanks for letting bounce off ya HB *winks*

[*Anya*]

I think it also should be noted of my sister femmes responding to the poll:

10% of us consider it vital to their (our) sex life.

25% of us enjoy strapping and are happy when we get to strap.

13.33% of us never have strapped but want to strap.

That is a grand total of 48.33% of femmes that have positive to very positive feelings/thoughts/enjoyment of strapping.

Just sayin'.

[Words]

Originally Posted by *Anya*

I think it also should be noted of my sister femmes responding to the poll:

10% of us consider it vital to their (our) sex life.

25% of us enjoy strapping and are happy when we get to strap.

13.33% of us never have strapped but want to strap.

That is a grand total of 48.33% of femmes that have positive to very positive feelings/thoughts/enjoyment of strapping.

Just sayin'.

Personally, the idea of strapping leaves me cold (even though I'm very much in touch with the idea of my clit as a real cock in my head). I would add to that that even being on the receiving end of a strap on isn't my cup of tea - it's the visual of the strap itself that makes it all seem just a little too 'fake'

I can only speak for myself (obviously), but the reason why *I* haven't responded until now is that I saw this thread as a celebration of femme cock and didn't feel comfortable coming into a thread that celebrates something to say what I've said in my first paragraph. Your post made me realize though that by not being honest, I'm screwing (excuse the pun) with the statistics.

So no, not for me BUT really glad to see other femmes posting that it's something they enjoy.

Words

[always2late]

I strapped once, quite some time ago, at my partner's request. I didn't enjoy it, but since I've not done it since, I can't truly say if the issue was strapping, or the partner I had at the time. Perhaps, with a different partner, I would have found it more enjoyable...but I honestly can't say.

[TruTexan]

When I first came out and was with a much older lesbian femme, she loved using hand held dildos, Of which I would figure out ways to use them like a strap on......hee hee, talented little ol' me.
Anywho, I was not really into her doing that to me, I was afraid and young at the time. Well one evening at home with her, she had her way with me and penetrated me with a dildo. Man was that different experience for me. Turned me on huge. She never once made me feel less than the butch I was or tried to emasculate me at all. IT was in later years that another woman I was with that did that. If I asked her to, she would penetrate me using a hand held dildo, but she made me feel less of a butch and I backed off from having any penetration at all and I ended up leaving her in the end.
I think sometimes a butch can be made to feel that way if it's rubbed in your face like it was for me, or in other ways. I know NOT ALL women would do this and I'm glad they wouldn't because it's not a good thing to make someone feel less than the butch that they are for wanting it.
I"ve yet to find a femme lover that would actually strap on and not make me feel less than the butch that I am, maybe one day I"ll find that playful lover/partner.
I don't see anything at all wrong with femmes packing or using a strap-on with their partners. Who's business is it anyway? Certainly NOT MINE or anyone elses what they choose to do in their own homes behind closed doors.
I honestly can't say I"ve ever seen a femme pack either, not in r/t or otherwise.

[hagster]

Sex doesn't make us who we are; doesn't make us butch or femme or gay or straight. You like cock or you don't. Hand held or strapped or any other form it comes in. Why does giving or receiving make anyone more or less than in any given identity? Lots of femmes don't like taking cock and lots of butches don't strap and neither makes anyone less than. How we express ourselves sexually is individual and has no correlation to identity-based personal value. To award that based solely on who fucks whom is buying into the wrong set of standards.

This judgment is part of the hetero patriarchy that so many of us refute and abhor and to use those same standards with each other is assinine. Women are weak, men are strong; to receive is weakness, to give is power. In the straight world, pegging isn't talked about because real men don't get fucked. In our world, the negative reactions to femmes strapping and butches taking it are rooted in those same stale morals and gender definitions. It's ok to say 'no thanks' but it's not ok to make a comment that belies those negative social mores. Sex isn't about power unless that's predetermined between those involved. Why can't it just be about feeling good?

And oh yeah, as a butch, I'd melt if I saw that coming towards me.

[TruTexan]

I think a femme that straps-on would look totally hot and would make me swoon too!! and the sex..........oh soooooo haaawwttt!! woohooo!!

[Gemme]

I agree with Snowy and hb, in terms of how it's perceived and how it's used as a shaming tool. Very few of my partners have been open to femme cock and/or asked for it.

Unlike Snowy, it's not something that I need to add to my repertoire for complete satisfaction, but I see the shaming and 'eww'ing from time to time and it feels shitty even from outside the bubble.

[Cin]

Originally Posted by hagster

to receive is weakness, to give is power.

It is true that this is how many look at sex. There is no shortage of sexist and misogynistic people that's for sure. Fortunately they don't run my sex life. I prefer to give, but since I take all my cues from my partner it's hard to believe that I am actually the one with the power or even the control really. The illusion is that I'm have the power, that I'm in control, but it's not the reality. I probably have more power when I'm on the receiving end. But anyway I have no problem receiving when I'm in the mood. Truthfully, I am not always open to receiving, I'm just not wired that way. But when I am interested in receiving, I love to be fucked. Fuck me silly thank you very much. I'm not big on receiving oral sex. It feels like too much focus on me. I can't concentrate that hard. Love to give it though. But when it's me being done bring on the femme cock. That's how i like it. Penetration is what works best for me. However, most things are negotiable. And it's not a requirement that my partner strap. There's more than one way to fuck this butch. But if she likes to strap, that's really hot. It's funny I don't look at it as butch cock when I strap, I don't see it as an extension of myself. But calling it femme cock when a partner straps, that makes me smile.

[candy_coated_bitch]

Yes, yes, yes on the seeing and experiencing Femme Cock shaming and "ewwwing". It really pisses me off and I try and speak up about the fact that I have a cock whenever it seems like people need to check their assumptions at the door. I mean, how could someone who looks cute and girly use and identify with a cock, right? *facepalm*

I have strapped since my first ever sexual relationship when I was a teenager. It's always been "normal" to me. My boyfriend was a cisman and a lot older and he asked me to strap with him, so I did and I really liked it. Over time, I came to really identify with my cock and wanting to being the one that penetrates and fucks, and there is a lot of gender shit bound up in there that I think Femmes RARELY ever get to talk about. My cock is essential to me, and is a part of my identity. I would love to see Femme cock talked about openly and freely.

I was never SHAMED for it, though, until I came into the Butch/Femme community. The online shaming is particularly bad, I agree with that. Though I have been shamed in r/t and seen my partners shamed in both forums (for lack of a better word). I have been worried about being honest about being open about that aspect of my sexuality before due to these experiences. These days I give less of a shit except for where I feel it's necessary to speak up and be visible, and lend my solidarity as a Femme and also to feminine women being sexually empowered in general.

It gets really tiring to STILL see certain sex activities being AUTOMATICALY labeled as masculine or feminine or dominant or submissive or any combination thereof. For me, my cock is very much wrapped up in my experience as a Dominant--but that's my experience of it. And I have never been less Femme for strapping, nor ever seen my partners as less Butch or less of a man.

I will leave it at that for now, but I really look forward to more conversation and will try to come back at another time when I feel more able, to talk about Femme cock and gender.

[Martina]

It's kinda reassuring to read this re the shaming -- sadly. Sometimes I think this stuff is just me, being overly sensitive, or framing things too often in terms of some ism or another. But it really does happen, doesn't it?

The worst I ever got in this community, offline and on, was not re femme cock but when I first dated a femme (here in CA). Real "ewwwwws" from people who ought to know better. Lots of them. The worst of it is that a few people weren't nice to the woman I was seeing. Oh well. Old news.