Femmes Who Strap <3

[PwrFemme]

I'd like to thank all of you for your posts. I've read each of them. You all seem very self-assured. I'm not going to try to name names but make comments to different things I read that stood out to me.

I strapped once at my partner's (at the time) request. It didn't feel comfortable to me. That said, I have no problem with a femme strapping. I dislike the judgmental people who think it's okay to voice their negative opinions about people not "fitting" into the box they feel each of us should be in based on a label.

my name is PwrFemme for a reason. I don't strap but I see power in being a femme. Some people feel "femme" and "weak" should go together. I also wear the label of feminist and have heard negativity attached to that label as well.

I am attracted to Femme's as well as to Heelbilli, my spouse. That is an admission that I haven't shared much because, as already said, people "eww" you. I guess approaching 50 makes me care less what people think and maybe I'll start speaking my mind more.

I'm joining this thread and I hope it's a place you all will continue to be out-spoken and where I can feel comfortable being me.

[ProfPacker]

pls bear with me because I am putting random thoughts regarding this thread on paper. I am trying to tie what we are saying to what we have all internalized in this society regarding our female development. We are taught what "female" is by our dominant society, mostly white male, who owned females by virtue of marriage and others by virtue of the idea that anyone other can be owned, dehumanized and abused. We are taught many things in our lives that are untrue, particularly in the history of this country regarding power and privilege.

As women we tend to NOT support each other using unconscious micro and social aggressions. That is what, I believe, we are all speaking out against. It goes unsaid that ewww and it's not masculine or feminine or whatever is really bullying. This thread is sort of saying we are going to be supportive of choice and dialogue with the bystanders.

I know I sound "academic" but I am an academic and teach all this but unless we own our own parts in the process that is all it is: academic.

This is important on this site and other places in our lives. Like I said to myself today. What if I did pack outside? Where would I go, how will I handle any perceived "ews" that's weird, etc.

We can as a site, co-construct our worlds. We are already doing it. But social aggression is how "woman" have been allowed to demean other women in the dominant society. Let's be aware of our day to day behavior....and wiggle the finger at ourselves when we act in a heterosexist, racist, ismphobic way. (In class if someone is caught by another student doing something that has been constructed out of demeaning the other: ie. when we say "he or she is on the bottom of the totem pole", "brown nosing, etc). We wiggle the finger and the all discuss our treaspasses not tear each other down for them.

thanks, again for listening

[Soft*Silver]

I have been scolded as a femme for liking my cock. Even to the tune of saying I am transitioning into a butch. The hell I am! I am a femme, no matter what I do or who I am with or how I look. For a brief second I actually considered this was true and then shook it off me like a cold rain.

I remember Kobi commenting on some of my posts about strapping and she was so encouraging. I have to thank you for that, Kobi. It made a huge difference in my psyche. I knew I was enjoying it and didnt really give a damn what others felt but it sure felt good when a butch said WOWSA! in a positive way.

The thing I battle, is that my mate is a male and no one and I mean no one wants to hear that hetero male (in their eyes..which is so fucking far from who he is) enjoys being fucked. Its even better that it would be between two men, than a woman fucking a man.

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by Miss_Tia

The thing I battle, is that my mate is a male and no one and I mean no one wants to hear that hetero male (in their eyes..which is so fucking far from who he is) enjoys being fucked. Its even better that it would be between two men, than a woman fucking a man.

Actually, there are many hetero men that like, enjoy and desire anal sex.

There is even a word for it: pegging.

Per the Urban Dictionary:

"Pegging
When the tables are voluntarily turned on heterosexual anal intercourse and the female servicee becomes the servicer for the man. Because most women don't have penises, a strap-on dildo is necessary."

I think we need, in general, to stop policing how each of us has sex!

Why do we judge each other? Why are we not allowed to enjoy sex in the manner and in the way that best works for us?

I know that I have been guilty of it myself and reading everyone's posts has never made me more aware of it before.

If I am judging you; I am judging myself.

I am going to work on that.

[LilyTheCat]

Done it but would absolutely LOVE to try!

[Runner]

The uber confidence my ex got from strapping were the hottest experiences I've had.

For me sex is the ultimate platform for self expression and if it feels good who cares about whether or not it fits neatly into a particular ID "box".

I genuinely feel that people who judge others on how they live their (sex) lives may be better served by taking a look at their own.

[MacMastr00]

As a Butch I enjoy the female form...the tenderness...soft curves..perfumed skin..even more so during intimacy...
But I also enjoy the strength of a woman her intelligence...sense of humour and tenacity just to name a few...
That being said...if I was to be in another relationship again...and she suggested her interest in strapping...I would not head for the hills..as I want My partner to know that I support her...and that it is not all about Me

[AnnRkey]

I am not one to label myself butch or femme. But as Lady Snow mentioned, I love sex, period. I read the poll on the site and thought to myself well I wish I could find femmes like that! I see no reason to restrict sex to certain acts. How boring. I want a partner that is comfortable enough to be everything and anything when it comes to sex.

[Toughy]

A question or two.

Are we talking hard strap on for fucking or soft pack for going out or both?

I've known Femmes who do all three....although for some reason my experience trends toward hard packing for both going out and at home.

How many Femmes pack for going out? Back in the day when I would occasionally bottom to a High Femme Top/Domme it was an almost guaranteed Goddess help me please, weak in the knees, trying not to fall down, experience when I hugged her and leaned into that, oh so incongruous hard pack, under those garters and stockings and shoes............anyway...

Femmes: hard pack soft pack? going out or staying home?

(waving hi to all)

[candy_coated_bitch]

I have packed hard in the past, both at home and for going out. I LOVE going out and having that (seemingly) incongruous raging hard on under my skirt along with all my other Femme accoutrement. I also pack hard at home as a surprise for my lover. That *discovery* either when at home or while out is the HOTTEST. THING. EVER.

I've never had a soft pack, but I have thought about getting one. I am interested in playing around with that more to wrap my own mind around some gender stuff I feel as a Femme with a cock.

That's my short answer for now.

[ProfPacker]

I soft pack and find it very hot. It is also good for exploring my gender feelings about what is butch and femme. Since I have just come "back into the world" after a very long relationship I was not aware of The Crash Pad Series where I am getting to enjoy my fantasies that were not explored in my youth. Lots of femmes who pack... butch cock..and ftm makes my desire to pack as a femme greater,

[storyspinner70]

for me, personally, it's a no go...lol...i'm just not a strapper. my butch would enjoy it though it wouldn't be her favorite of our activities and wouldn't be very often, but i will always like being strapped not doing the strapping. would i consider it if she asked me? maybe. probably. would i really get into it? i doubt it. it would be too out of character for me. but i'd do my best anyway to make her happy.

do i see any stigma in it one way or another? no. there is no stigma in sex to me. not in any form. what you and yours are happy with is what matters. nothing else.

[Poss]

This little femme Possum here knows thy partner well. Of course, it helps when one consciously looks for and spots the little sign posts along the way. Knowing my darling butch for 30 years wouldn’t have anything to do with it …right! lol

Last Sunday morning after finishing our traditional cooked brekkie, we enjoyed a cuppa together and leisurely chatted about this and that …as we do. Suddenly Poss panics, there’s so much to do and how many more weekends are there left before chrissie? Darling butch with typical calm, cool and collectedness, says two. Poss is anything but cool, calm and collected saying loudly “ONLY 2?” I went into a tail spin about all the things I’ve got to get done in that time. I could see thy butch started looking out towards the distant paddocks …dreaming of a quick exit out of this situation. Out of the blue, I said …”and when are we going to Melbourne to buy our strap-on …like it is a few hours away.”

That got my darling’s attention, as she showed me her empty cup for a refill. We got into a conversation about them again, covering old ground. I could sense my partner was thinking something that she wasn’t saying. I went quiet and then hesitated a bit before I asked her if she would like me to use it on her. Sheepishly she nodded and said she would like me to. I smiled, nodded in return and looked deeply into her eyes as I said ok. I leaned over and gave her a soft loving kiss in support of her feelings and desires.

Basically my partner didn’t know how to approach this with me. For me, the sign post was this thread. I thank you Nat for starting it up and of course for you all contributing to it and assisting me to get where I am now. In the course of a week, I went from thinking no way would I do that, to I really would like to give this a go. I want to experience all manner of pleasures with my partner. We will look to buy 2, maybe even 3 different types of strap-on’s. Our minds are opening up to the many ways we can utilise them for sexual pleasure during love making.

I am so thankful my partner didn’t bring this up with me before I first had an opportunity to think it through myself. My partner instinctively knows how to give me my space and I know I do the same for her too. This thread was my starting point and I even joked with you all that I might even ask my partner if I could strap-on for her. My partner doesn’t call me her Possy-Pie for nothing.lol

[Nat]

Aww Poss, your post makes my heart happy. I have been going through a bit of a modest phase and sometimes I wonder if I just have shared too much, but if starting a thread like this has helped one bit in bringing about a moment of real sweetness like that moment sounds like - I'm so glad to have played my little part in that. Thank you for sharing it. <3 I don't think the acts are nearly as important as the connection and it sounds like you've got that. It's a good base to try anything. Thanks for the smile.

[*Anya*]

Poss, I love how you write and how you put your heart into words.

Another adventure for you! Remember, it may feel strange and you may fumble at first-don't forget to laugh a little with your love. It breaks the tension and reinforces that very deep bond the two of you have!

You will either love it, like it, or not be crazy about it; but you and your long-term partner embarked on a new adventure! This adventure, you may want to repeat or you may decide it is not for you.

Some adventures are terrific, some may be, some may not! But you are expanding your horizons and it will add to you life that you gave it a whirl!

What more can you ask for out of love and life??!

(((Hugs)))

PS: If you like it, you are still the femme that you always were.

Maybe, with an additional skill....

[bright_arrow]

I've never strapped, and the thought has never been one to make its way into my mind. There is no "ew" factor in the least, but it is never something I thought about.

My first girlfriend and I never used any toys - honestly, I am not sure I even KNEW about them at that age. Same went for my second girlfriend. It actually wasn't until I dated my last boyfriend that I even OWNED any toys. So, I came out fully, met a girl, and she actually shamed me for liking penetration period. We're just talking basic, slim, not-cock-realistic $10 vibrator here. I was informed that I was NOT a lesbian if I liked penetration. Well, okie-dokie, toys went into the trash and we parted ways. After that, I have only been partnered with stone partners (I feel the need to comment that it's just happened that way, it's not like I told myself "Okay, no more giving sex, just taking it!")

So, I have only been on the receiving ends of strap-on's. Sometimes it's the last thing I want, sometimes it's the one thing I want (and a lot of dirty words and hair-pulling, but I regress..). If my partner ever requested it, it is something I would be more than willing to try. In the mean time, it will just be one of those area's I've not yet explored, but by no means would I ever shame or make anyone feel lesser.

I personally would not cross someone off my list for strapping/NOT strapping/wanting ME to strap.

Just my .02