Caregivers and Stress

Venus007 · 12-16-2013, 07:53 AM

Searching for a Medicaid bed in a facility that is rated at least above average to well above average for the HL's dad. It also has to be relatively close to where we live so it makes our daily trips easier.

Who would have thought finding a bed in a facility with the combination of moderately close by, quality care that takes Medicaid would be so difficult in a metropolitan area of 5.6 million people.

The clock is ticking on the rehab center. In 3 days his Medicare will be up for the short term rehab facility. They told us we had 60 more days on Monday then on Friday after 5pm told us he had to be out Wednesday or we have to pay $142.00 a day. (We can't afford that).

Considering how hard it is to find the elusive Medicaid bed, we should have started sooner, immediately even. Now we know I guess.

TruTexan · 12-16-2013, 10:40 PM

Sorry to hear of the troubles with finding a facility that works for your family, venus. I hope you find one.

TruTexan · 12-21-2013, 06:46 PM

Being a caregiver to my mom is stressful. Now my birth father is not in so hot a shape. He's got diabetes and he's got blood in his urine, an open sore on his foot he's got meds for thank goodness, and a 30% usage of only the upper part of his heart, and he's not been feeling well and is anemic. I worry about him, he lives with my 93 yr old grandmother...his mom. She gets around really well, but I just hope I'm not in for some more bad news about my dad. We've been trying to have a relationship the past 2.5 yrs now since I honestly didn't know much about him when I was a kid and only visited him for short time when I turned 21. I don't wanna lose my dad anytime soon and I hope the tests my dad is taking will give reassurance that what he is going through is nothing serious. He lives 5 hrs from me just south of Austin. I don't have funds to take a trip to go see him but I do call him often. Keep him in your prayers please. Thanks.

Redsunflower · 12-21-2013, 06:53 PM

Hugs to you Tru, I'll be keeping you and your dad in my thoughts.

Rxx

TruTexan · 12-23-2013, 06:13 PM

Mom is having carpal tunnel surgery on her left hand in Jan. 2014. She's been complaining for years about her left hand and wrist bothering her now it's gotten bad enough to do the surgery because it's bothering her in her sleep now. When she wakes up it's hurting and feeling numb and she can barely move it. So, the doc recommend surgery to stop the pain and hopefully with this new type surgery they do now, it will stop not only the pain but allow the nerve not to get pinched and cut off circulation. We also found out she's got rheumatoid arthritis in both hands now, they just aren't bad enough to take any meds for unless it's tylenol.
I myself need to go in a see someone about my left hand/wrist, it's been hurting me more since I injured it back in 04. Time to see the doctor and see if I need surgery done or if it's arthritis or both. It goes to tingles and hurts all the time and I lose circulation in it so time to go now. Maybe I too can get some relief from the pain.

Dad has been going to see his doctors for his issues. His foot is healing up nicely now since the doc grew a culture and was able to determine precisely which antibiotic to give him to heal him up. His kidney doctor is running tests on him now and we'll see what that entails at a later date. He's still due to see his cardiac doc. to run doppler tests on his legs to check for blockages. And still due to get his colonoscopy done. Not much I can do but wait for him to tell me what's going on.

I hope all the other caregivers and their family are doing well lately.
Merry Christmas to you all and Happy New Year!

TruTexan · 01-10-2014, 08:41 PM

Well today was mom's surgery for carpal tunnel, later today that is. I just got home and am now trying to relax. She is doing alright but we'll see tonight and tomorrow after the lidocaine wears off her hand. she's allergic to codeine so doc prescribed tramadol. I hope it helps her with the pain she may have. I"ve never had this surgery, although I probably need it done as well. She's out of commission using her left hand until stitches come out in 2 wks from now. Then we'll see what's going on with it. I don't know if she'll need hand therapy for strengthening. I just am glad it's over with and she's back home. She was so afraid today and I know it was hard on her emotionally because everytime she's had heart or artery surgery it's scared the babyjesus outta her. The doctor and I both reassured her it was a minor surgery using a twilight like drug called versed to put her to sleep. When he told her that the surgery was only 20 mins long and about the light anesthesia, she was at ease then. She woke up 30 mins later and was just fine, smiling and being all sentimental with me. Man, that just made her feel better. I"m glad she didn't wait to have the surgery, she needed it and I hope it works for her.

Dad is still seeing his doctors, his foot is finally on the mend. He fainted at the podiatrists office last week so they rushed him to the hospital and kept him for couple days doing tests trying to figure out why he fainted. They thought something was wrong with his kidneys but he says he's fine now.
He's home now, but I worry about him. He doesn't always tell me when things are bad for him, he thinks because I live 5 hrs away that he shouldn't tell me because there's nothing I can do for him. He has so many issues going on with his heart and arteries and his diabetes. I told him next time something is going on, he better tell me so I know and can at least talk to him on the phone before something really bad happens and I can't . My grandmother was the one that told me he was in the hospital so I just played it off and called his cell phone to see what he was up to, he finally told me after being there 2 days. SMH, and I'm just as stubborn as my old man is, and I wasn't even raised by him. LOL

I hope all the other caregivers out there are doing well and that their caregivees are also doing well. Have a great weekend one and all.

TruTexan · 03-17-2014, 10:06 PM

How are all of you caregivers doing lately? I haven't posted in a while either.
I'm dealing with things that are happening here with an old woman that is 86 and and has dementia or something going on, she's delusional and accusatory of me. I have become a target for her yelling and screaming at me for no reason, she thinks I"m doing all sorts of things. It's gotten worse in the last year. I have been dealing with this neighbor like this for 2 years now and finally the new manager that's been here since last year is trying to get the woman's family to do something about it. She's about to get evicted because she's harrassing me and I feel bad about it but I have to take care of my own sanity. She's affecting my ptsd, anxiety goes through the roof and I end up taking full dosings of my anxiety meds just to calm down some. I lose sleep over all this and it's just getting worse for her and for me. I told my apt. manager today either something is done to stop her or I"m moving out. I don't know what else to do. I"ve been asked to give my manager 2 months so I agreed to it. I told her I have no place to move to but if I have to, I WILL MOVE OUT because I can't live like this anymore. I just feel like calling my younger sister and telling her I need to move on with my life and for her to come talk mom into moving where she is so I can move on. I feel bad about all this but it's just getting to me. The stress and the worries and the bullshit dealing with this neighbor. I"m in therapy and dealing with some issues I need to deal with but this stuff with this lady is interfering with my life. I feel like putting my head in a wall or pulling my hair out....I won't do that,I'm just venting. Adult protective services was called about her last year and they say they cannot make her go to a nursing home to get the help she needs, that they can't intervene because she's not harming herself or in harms way.
I just wish her family would get off their asses and take care of her better and move her to a nursing home where she needs to be. It's ripping me up emotionally and mentally to deal with her almost everyday she sees me outside, and I feel trapped here, stuck in my apt so I don't have to deal with her. I just wanna scream my head off !
Sorry for the vent, but I just needed to. thanks .

12-16-2013, 07:53 AM	#1
Venus007 Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Serene Highness ;} Relationship Status: Dreamily contemplating some outrage against conventional morality Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Houston area Posts: 1,362 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,417 Thanked 4,749 Times in 1,139 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Breathe in breathe out Searching for a Medicaid bed in a facility that is rated at least above average to well above average for the HL's dad. It also has to be relatively close to where we live so it makes our daily trips easier. Who would have thought finding a bed in a facility with the combination of moderately close by, quality care that takes Medicaid would be so difficult in a metropolitan area of 5.6 million people. The clock is ticking on the rehab center. In 3 days his Medicare will be up for the short term rehab facility. They told us we had 60 more days on Monday then on Friday after 5pm told us he had to be out Wednesday or we have to pay $142.00 a day. (We can't afford that). Considering how hard it is to find the elusive Medicaid bed, we should have started sooner, immediately even. Now we know I guess. __________________ . "I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction. " Ayn Rand, Anthem "So you'll die happily for your sins. You'd rather die in guilt then live in love?" Timothy Leary

12-16-2013, 10:40 PM	#2
TruTexan Senior Member How Do You Identify?: lesbian butch Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: in a one horse town in a large state, in the U.S. Posts: 3,952 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 5,266 Times in 1,633 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Sorry to hear of the troubles with finding a facility that works for your family, venus. I hope you find one. __________________

12-21-2013, 06:46 PM	#3
TruTexan Senior Member How Do You Identify?: lesbian butch Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: in a one horse town in a large state, in the U.S. Posts: 3,952 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 5,266 Times in 1,633 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Being a caregiver to my mom is stressful. Now my birth father is not in so hot a shape. He's got diabetes and he's got blood in his urine, an open sore on his foot he's got meds for thank goodness, and a 30% usage of only the upper part of his heart, and he's not been feeling well and is anemic. I worry about him, he lives with my 93 yr old grandmother...his mom. She gets around really well, but I just hope I'm not in for some more bad news about my dad. We've been trying to have a relationship the past 2.5 yrs now since I honestly didn't know much about him when I was a kid and only visited him for short time when I turned 21. I don't wanna lose my dad anytime soon and I hope the tests my dad is taking will give reassurance that what he is going through is nothing serious. He lives 5 hrs from me just south of Austin. I don't have funds to take a trip to go see him but I do call him often. Keep him in your prayers please. Thanks. __________________

12-23-2013, 06:13 PM	#5
TruTexan Senior Member How Do You Identify?: lesbian butch Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: in a one horse town in a large state, in the U.S. Posts: 3,952 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 5,266 Times in 1,633 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Mom is having carpal tunnel surgery on her left hand in Jan. 2014. She's been complaining for years about her left hand and wrist bothering her now it's gotten bad enough to do the surgery because it's bothering her in her sleep now. When she wakes up it's hurting and feeling numb and she can barely move it. So, the doc recommend surgery to stop the pain and hopefully with this new type surgery they do now, it will stop not only the pain but allow the nerve not to get pinched and cut off circulation. We also found out she's got rheumatoid arthritis in both hands now, they just aren't bad enough to take any meds for unless it's tylenol. I myself need to go in a see someone about my left hand/wrist, it's been hurting me more since I injured it back in 04. Time to see the doctor and see if I need surgery done or if it's arthritis or both. It goes to tingles and hurts all the time and I lose circulation in it so time to go now. Maybe I too can get some relief from the pain. Dad has been going to see his doctors for his issues. His foot is healing up nicely now since the doc grew a culture and was able to determine precisely which antibiotic to give him to heal him up. His kidney doctor is running tests on him now and we'll see what that entails at a later date. He's still due to see his cardiac doc. to run doppler tests on his legs to check for blockages. And still due to get his colonoscopy done. Not much I can do but wait for him to tell me what's going on. I hope all the other caregivers and their family are doing well lately. Merry Christmas to you all and Happy New Year! __________________

01-10-2014, 08:41 PM	#6
TruTexan Senior Member How Do You Identify?: lesbian butch Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: in a one horse town in a large state, in the U.S. Posts: 3,952 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 5,266 Times in 1,633 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Well today was mom's surgery for carpal tunnel, later today that is. I just got home and am now trying to relax. She is doing alright but we'll see tonight and tomorrow after the lidocaine wears off her hand. she's allergic to codeine so doc prescribed tramadol. I hope it helps her with the pain she may have. I"ve never had this surgery, although I probably need it done as well. She's out of commission using her left hand until stitches come out in 2 wks from now. Then we'll see what's going on with it. I don't know if she'll need hand therapy for strengthening. I just am glad it's over with and she's back home. She was so afraid today and I know it was hard on her emotionally because everytime she's had heart or artery surgery it's scared the babyjesus outta her. The doctor and I both reassured her it was a minor surgery using a twilight like drug called versed to put her to sleep. When he told her that the surgery was only 20 mins long and about the light anesthesia, she was at ease then. She woke up 30 mins later and was just fine, smiling and being all sentimental with me. Man, that just made her feel better. I"m glad she didn't wait to have the surgery, she needed it and I hope it works for her. Dad is still seeing his doctors, his foot is finally on the mend. He fainted at the podiatrists office last week so they rushed him to the hospital and kept him for couple days doing tests trying to figure out why he fainted. They thought something was wrong with his kidneys but he says he's fine now. He's home now, but I worry about him. He doesn't always tell me when things are bad for him, he thinks because I live 5 hrs away that he shouldn't tell me because there's nothing I can do for him. He has so many issues going on with his heart and arteries and his diabetes. I told him next time something is going on, he better tell me so I know and can at least talk to him on the phone before something really bad happens and I can't . My grandmother was the one that told me he was in the hospital so I just played it off and called his cell phone to see what he was up to, he finally told me after being there 2 days. SMH, and I'm just as stubborn as my old man is, and I wasn't even raised by him. LOL I hope all the other caregivers out there are doing well and that their caregivees are also doing well. Have a great weekend one and all. __________________

12-21-2013, 06:53 PM	#4
Redsunflower Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: UK Posts: 459 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 548 Thanked 564 Times in 138 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Hugs to you Tru, I'll be keeping you and your dad in my thoughts. Rxx

03-17-2014, 10:06 PM	#7
TruTexan Senior Member How Do You Identify?: lesbian butch Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: in a one horse town in a large state, in the U.S. Posts: 3,952 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 5,266 Times in 1,633 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	How are all of you caregivers doing lately? I haven't posted in a while either. I'm dealing with things that are happening here with an old woman that is 86 and and has dementia or something going on, she's delusional and accusatory of me. I have become a target for her yelling and screaming at me for no reason, she thinks I"m doing all sorts of things. It's gotten worse in the last year. I have been dealing with this neighbor like this for 2 years now and finally the new manager that's been here since last year is trying to get the woman's family to do something about it. She's about to get evicted because she's harrassing me and I feel bad about it but I have to take care of my own sanity. She's affecting my ptsd, anxiety goes through the roof and I end up taking full dosings of my anxiety meds just to calm down some. I lose sleep over all this and it's just getting worse for her and for me. I told my apt. manager today either something is done to stop her or I"m moving out. I don't know what else to do. I"ve been asked to give my manager 2 months so I agreed to it. I told her I have no place to move to but if I have to, I WILL MOVE OUT because I can't live like this anymore. I just feel like calling my younger sister and telling her I need to move on with my life and for her to come talk mom into moving where she is so I can move on. I feel bad about all this but it's just getting to me. The stress and the worries and the bullshit dealing with this neighbor. I"m in therapy and dealing with some issues I need to deal with but this stuff with this lady is interfering with my life. I feel like putting my head in a wall or pulling my hair out....I won't do that,I'm just venting. Adult protective services was called about her last year and they say they cannot make her go to a nursing home to get the help she needs, that they can't intervene because she's not harming herself or in harms way. I just wish her family would get off their asses and take care of her better and move her to a nursing home where she needs to be. It's ripping me up emotionally and mentally to deal with her almost everyday she sees me outside, and I feel trapped here, stuck in my apt so I don't have to deal with her. I just wanna scream my head off ! Sorry for the vent, but I just needed to. thanks . __________________