What fart did you fart today?

Words · 02-09-2014, 01:56 PM

*I* don't fart.

I just hold it in and let it out as drama.

Bard · 02-09-2014, 02:27 PM

our dog Gracie is the master of the silent and VERY deadly farts in our house and I swear she knows it .. desd will be GRACIE-LOO and then it will just linger .... like a fog
the goose she likes to try and fart .. on me ... no idea where she gets that from....

puddin' · 02-09-2014, 03:06 PM

i burped at work yestaday (one o' those short, barky burps) and it was mistaken by a co-worker fo' a fart!

how does that even happen?!! lol

batennisboy · 02-09-2014, 05:38 PM

Was walking down the hallway yesterday and thy fart felt it necessary to be released. It was a "walk the walk" fart - bits being released with each step and thus butt movement. It was further punctuated with a statement "period" short and sweet definitive fart.

Liam · 02-09-2014, 10:31 PM

Just a couple of putt putts today, while puttering about the house. It would seem that I have become a shadow of the Olympian Farter, I once was. *Sigh*

nycfem · 02-12-2014, 07:54 PM

One from yesterday, one from today:

Yesterday: THE FREUDIAN FART

I ran into someone I knew and didn't want to really do the "Hi, how are you, what have you been up to" thing with him but did anyway. So we were having our upbeat convo, and I asked about how his on-again, off-again girlfriend was doing. He said, "She's doing an internship in Oakland, California for a year. It's a fellowship on renewable energy. She's become really interested in fresh air." I don't know if it was the unconscious power of suggestion or what but the moment the words "fresh air" were spoken I let a "silent but deadly" rip. "Anyway nice seeing you!" he called over his shoulder as he trotted off at a brisk pace.

Today: THE "WAKE THE DEAD" FART

After a fine meal of collard greens, injera (Ethiopian bread), shiro (Ethiopian chick pea stew), and Red Velvet ice cream (Ben & Jerry's), I felt a loud fart coming on. Sometimes one could stifle it but a sense of "Seize the Day! You only live once!" takes over, and instead it's given red carpet treatment. In this case that meant, lifting a cheek off the chair and pushing with gusto. I was sitting at my computer desk and BB was sitting at the dining room table eating take-out Italian, so I thought maybe just maybe, somehow, I could get away with BB not having heard it. But instead, instantly, a sleeping cat woke and stared at me, and BB nearly dropped hys fork. I said, "I think I woke the cat." BB said, "Are you kidding, Honey? You woke the dead."

Julie · 02-12-2014, 07:58 PM

I FARTED for the Preacher today!
And the Preacker cackled.

solamite · 02-16-2014, 08:19 PM

Juz pullz meez finga & u willz noe wat kind of fart I didz todae.

02-09-2014, 02:27 PM	#2
Bard Family Man How Do You Identify?: TG Male Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones Relationship Status: She just gets me Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ..... Posts: 2,828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,997 Thanked 12,786 Times in 2,431 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	our dog Gracie is the master of the silent and VERY deadly farts in our house and I swear she knows it .. desd will be GRACIE-LOO and then it will just linger .... like a fog the goose she likes to try and fart .. on me ... no idea where she gets that from.... __________________ This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name! Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.

02-09-2014, 03:06 PM	#3
puddin' Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: a genderqueer nuisance Preferred Pronoun?: bitchboi Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: new zealand Posts: 7,120 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,467 Thanked 7,962 Times in 2,340 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	i burped at work yestaday (one o' those short, barky burps) and it was mistaken by a co-worker fo' a fart! how does that even happen?!! lol __________________ be true, be you, be brave. Last edited by puddin'; 02-09-2014 at 03:12 PM. Reason: burp clarification

02-09-2014, 10:31 PM	#5
Liam Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Guy Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him, His Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The Evergreen State Posts: 2,269 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 14,865 Thanked 6,876 Times in 1,860 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Just a couple of putt putts today, while puttering about the house. It would seem that I have become a shadow of the Olympian Farter, I once was. Sigh __________________ <3 Love is weird.

02-12-2014, 07:54 PM	#6
nycfem Moderator How Do You Identify?: femme sub Preferred Pronoun?: Baby Grrl Relationship Status: Attached Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NYC Posts: 6,795 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 52,990 Thanked 21,424 Times in 5,101 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	One from yesterday, one from today: Yesterday: THE FREUDIAN FART I ran into someone I knew and didn't want to really do the "Hi, how are you, what have you been up to" thing with him but did anyway. So we were having our upbeat convo, and I asked about how his on-again, off-again girlfriend was doing. He said, "She's doing an internship in Oakland, California for a year. It's a fellowship on renewable energy. She's become really interested in fresh air." I don't know if it was the unconscious power of suggestion or what but the moment the words "fresh air" were spoken I let a "silent but deadly" rip. "Anyway nice seeing you!" he called over his shoulder as he trotted off at a brisk pace. Today: THE "WAKE THE DEAD" FART After a fine meal of collard greens, injera (Ethiopian bread), shiro (Ethiopian chick pea stew), and Red Velvet ice cream (Ben & Jerry's), I felt a loud fart coming on. Sometimes one could stifle it but a sense of "Seize the Day! You only live once!" takes over, and instead it's given red carpet treatment. In this case that meant, lifting a cheek off the chair and pushing with gusto. I was sitting at my computer desk and BB was sitting at the dining room table eating take-out Italian, so I thought maybe just maybe, somehow, I could get away with BB not having heard it. But instead, instantly, a sleeping cat woke and stared at me, and BB nearly dropped hys fork. I said, "I think I woke the cat." BB said, "Are you kidding, Honey? You woke the dead." __________________ *** How do I... ?** Check out the Members Helping Members thread: http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...embers+Helping

02-12-2014, 07:58 PM	#7
Julie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Angel * Femme * Lesbian * Girl * Woman * Slut * Bitch * Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: No longer a Virgin Bride to Dreamer ~ May 17th, 2014 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: New York Posts: 4,674 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,676 Thanked 18,160 Times in 3,633 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	I FARTED for the Preacher today! And the Preacker cackled. __________________ “Sometimes only one person is missing and the whole world seems depopulated.” ~ Alphonse de Lamartine - 1790-1869 http://i374.photobucket.com/albums/o...ps4d9fb6c0.jpg I Love You ~ I Love Us May 17, 2014

02-09-2014, 01:56 PM	#1
Words Member How Do You Identify?: Queer femme submissive Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: UK Posts: 969 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,449 Thanked 4,257 Times in 677 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I don't fart. I just hold it in and let it out as drama.

02-09-2014, 05:38 PM	#4
batennisboy Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: In love with the fuzzy yellow objects of my affection. Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Bay Area, CA Posts: 82 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 284 Thanked 277 Times in 79 Posts Rep Power: 4135522	Was walking down the hallway yesterday and thy fart felt it necessary to be released. It was a "walk the walk" fart - bits being released with each step and thus butt movement. It was further punctuated with a statement "period" short and sweet definitive fart.

02-16-2014, 08:19 PM	#8
solamite Junior Member How Do You Identify?: SOLAMITE Preferred Pronoun?: Agglutinative Relationship Status: SINGLE Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Shoe Box Posts: 66 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8 Thanked 28 Times in 12 Posts Rep Power: 488319	Juz pullz meez finga & u willz noe wat kind of fart I didz todae.