What fart did you fart today?

RockOn · 02-12-2014, 08:58 PM

Silent Stealth plan goes awry

I did a long one cheek sneak (so I had planned) in my cubi today. The first part went swell, a genuine stealth, under the radar fart - made me proud but the last portion went into a long sort of high pitched zinger and the pitch continued to rise as it played out. I could not stop it in the middle when it became noisey ... I was trying so hard not to laugh but unable to help myself at that point ... each stifled giggle produced little bullet farts at the end. Hot little fart it was, I had lots of jalapeno peppers on the veggie sub I had for breakfast earlier. Pretty rough, had to abandon my cubicle.

Sweet Bliss · 02-12-2014, 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brock

Silent Stealth plan goes awry

I did a long one cheek sneak (so I had planned) in my cubi today. The first part went swell, a genuine stealth, under the radar fart - made me proud but the last portion went into a long sort of high pitched zinger and the pitch continued to rise as it played out. I could not stop it in the middle when it became noisey ... I was trying so hard not to laugh but unable to help myself at that point ... each stifled giggle produced little bullet farts at the end. Hot little fart it was, I had lots of jalapeno peppers on the veggie sub I had for breakfast earlier. Pretty rough, had to abandon my cubicle.

<……… Brock

me...>

......

Coworkers ... >

Gemme · 02-13-2014, 06:06 AM

The average person farts 16 times a day.

RockOn · 02-13-2014, 06:51 AM

Your image portrayal is hilarious! Thank you!
I think the only co-worker who heard it was a guy I don't like - so I could care less. I was just praying my supervisor would not walk in when things got out of control, his entry would have caused me to laugh even harder at myself ... and this surely would have generated lots more rump end melodies. I'm a freaking rock-star fartster! LOL! I think nycfem is too, word has it she can wake the dead.

Hey Gemme, interesting statistics!

Sweet Bliss · 02-13-2014, 08:46 PM

http://mistupid.com/facts/page070.htm

RockOn · 02-13-2014, 09:23 PM

Sweet Bliss was so kind to give us the link ... I copied and pasted the following information (see below ) from this site.

***************************
Stupid Facts - Fart Facts

Farts are created mostly by E. coli.

On the average a fart is composed of about 59% nitrogen, 21% hydrogen, 9% carbon dioxide, 7% methane, and 4% oxygen. Less than 1% is what makes them stink.

The temperature of a fart at time of creation is 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit.

Farts have been clocked at a speed of 10 feet per second.

A person produces about half a liter of farts a day.

Although they won't admit it, women fart as much as men.

Termites are the largest producers of farts.

Farts are flammable.

The word "fart" comes from the Old English "feortan" (meaning "to break wind").

Excess gas in the intestinal is medically termed "flatulence."

*****************************************
If you could get a tiny, very sensitive tape recorder and stick it inside your walls near wood, it would be unnecessary to pay a termite control company because on the tape recorder you'd hear all the little partying termites farting while they munched your wood.

I wonder how that clock speed at 10' per second was achieved. And yes, I can tell you for an absolute fact, farts are flammable.

Sweet Bliss · 02-13-2014, 10:00 PM

My senses tell me there is more to Brockie's story..... and why pray tell, did my Kindle call him Brockie????? Ummmm.... has someone been using it?!?!?

And for the record, eating gluten, if you are allergic to it, will create an abundance of foul flatulence.

Eliminate gluten folks.

02-13-2014, 06:06 AM	#3
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,971 Times in 25,664 Posts Rep Power: 21474888	The average person farts 16 times a day. __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.

02-13-2014, 06:51 AM	#4
RockOn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: sitting over there ----->>>>> :) Preferred Pronoun?: .... Relationship Status: .... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .... Posts: 3,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,081 Thanked 10,304 Times in 2,610 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Sweet Bliss Your image portrayal is hilarious! Thank you! I think the only co-worker who heard it was a guy I don't like - so I could care less. I was just praying my supervisor would not walk in when things got out of control, his entry would have caused me to laugh even harder at myself ... and this surely would have generated lots more rump end melodies. I'm a freaking rock-star fartster! LOL! I think nycfem is too, word has it she can wake the dead. Hey Gemme, interesting statistics!

02-13-2014, 08:46 PM	#5
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,268 Times in 2,159 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	For your flatulence edification. http://mistupid.com/facts/page070.htm

02-12-2014, 08:58 PM	#1
RockOn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: sitting over there ----->>>>> :) Preferred Pronoun?: .... Relationship Status: .... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .... Posts: 3,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,081 Thanked 10,304 Times in 2,610 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Silent Stealth plan goes awry I did a long one cheek sneak (so I had planned) in my cubi today. The first part went swell, a genuine stealth, under the radar fart - made me proud but the last portion went into a long sort of high pitched zinger and the pitch continued to rise as it played out. I could not stop it in the middle when it became noisey ... I was trying so hard not to laugh but unable to help myself at that point ... each stifled giggle produced little bullet farts at the end. Hot little fart it was, I had lots of jalapeno peppers on the veggie sub I had for breakfast earlier. Pretty rough, had to abandon my cubicle.

02-13-2014, 09:23 PM	#6
RockOn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: sitting over there ----->>>>> :) Preferred Pronoun?: .... Relationship Status: .... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .... Posts: 3,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,081 Thanked 10,304 Times in 2,610 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Sweet Bliss was so kind to give us the link ... I copied and pasted the following information (see below ) from this site. ************************* Stupid Facts - Fart Facts Farts are created mostly by E. coli. On the average a fart is composed of about 59% nitrogen, 21% hydrogen, 9% carbon dioxide, 7% methane, and 4% oxygen. Less than 1% is what makes them stink. The temperature of a fart at time of creation is 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit. Farts have been clocked at a speed of 10 feet per second. A person produces about half a liter of farts a day. Although they won't admit it, women fart as much as men. Termites are the largest producers of farts. Farts are flammable. The word "fart" comes from the Old English "feortan" (meaning "to break wind"). Excess gas in the intestinal is medically termed "flatulence." *************************************** If you could get a tiny, very sensitive tape recorder and stick it inside your walls near wood, it would be unnecessary to pay a termite control company because on the tape recorder you'd hear all the little partying termites farting while they munched your wood. I wonder how that clock speed at 10' per second was achieved. And yes, I can tell you for an absolute fact, farts are flammable.

02-13-2014, 10:00 PM	#7
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,268 Times in 2,159 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	My senses tell me there is more to Brockie's story..... and why pray tell, did my Kindle call him Brockie????? Ummmm.... has someone been using it?!?!? And for the record, eating gluten, if you are allergic to it, will create an abundance of foul flatulence. Eliminate gluten folks.