Corny jokes - Page 6

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-15-2014, 08:20 AM

How do you carve a big piece of wood?

wittle by wittle

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-15-2014, 11:27 AM

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven ate nine.

clay · 03-15-2014, 12:04 PM

Practice having a safe lunch......use condiments!!!

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-16-2014, 06:15 AM

What does a piano player dream about?

Sheet music.

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-25-2014, 03:55 PM

Some bacon, eggs and toast walk into a bar, and the bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast"

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-25-2014, 04:31 PM

Jesse · 03-25-2014, 05:53 PM

q: what's brown and sticky?

a: a stick

Candelion · 03-25-2014, 06:10 PM

A really hot butch asked me for my number today and all I had to do was hit hys car with my car.

When a femme wears leather, a butch goes crazy and gets weak in the knees...she smells like a new truck!

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-28-2014, 08:19 AM

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-28-2014, 01:08 PM

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-29-2014, 07:52 AM

mythy · 03-29-2014, 08:27 AM

A bloke goes to a fancy dress party naked with his girlfriend on his shoulders, they get there knock on the door and the bloke who answers says "what have you come as", the guy sez " a tortoise", the first bloke sez and who's that on your shoulders"...the guy sez "thats michelle"

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-30-2014, 07:10 AM

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-30-2014, 07:12 AM

Happy_Go_Lucky · 03-30-2014, 04:47 PM

mythy · 03-31-2014, 04:24 AM

Bad Spellers UNTIE

I have a black belt in origame.

Happy_Go_Lucky · 04-01-2014, 05:32 PM

Candelion · 04-01-2014, 07:45 PM

Unfortunately, putting a bow on your head does not make you gifted.

A truckload of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins. What a turtle disaster.

Insulting me gets you nowhere. Plus, it makes you look fat.

The best way to get a youthful figure is to ask a woman her age.

I'm not that bright. The only way I'll ever get to say "Checkmate!" is if I eat at a restaurant in Australia.

Gentle Tiger · 04-01-2014, 08:23 PM

This thread is cracking me up.

mythy · 04-02-2014, 12:53 AM

A burgler breaks into a house, after he has gone a couple of steps he hears a voice..."Jesus is watching you"
he looks round and the voice sez again "Jesus is watching you"
he looks round and sees a parrot in a cage, so he walks over, "was that you saying that". the parrot sez " yep it was"
the burglar sez " wots your name"
the parrot sez "Clarence"
the burglar sez " that a stupid name wot silly fucker called you that"
the parrot sez " the silly fucker who called the rottweiler Jesus"

03-15-2014, 08:20 AM	#101
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	How do you carve a big piece of wood? wittle by wittle __________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-15-2014, 11:27 AM	#102
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	An oldie but a goody Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. __________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-15-2014, 12:04 PM	#103
clay Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch (Silver Fox) Dom Daddi Preferred Pronoun?: 50 Shades of Clay Darker & Deeper Relationship Status: married to my forever Join Date: May 2011 Location: salt air & sandy beaches Posts: 13,136 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 97,020 Thanked 31,665 Times in 7,748 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	Practice having a safe lunch......use condiments!!! __________________ To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault

03-16-2014, 06:15 AM	#104
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	What does a piano player dream about? Sheet music. __________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-25-2014, 03:55 PM	#105
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Some bacon, eggs and toast walk into a bar, and the bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast" __________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-25-2014, 04:31 PM	#106
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-25-2014, 05:53 PM	#107
Jesse Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Central West Coast of Florida Posts: 5,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,866 Thanked 17,782 Times in 3,940 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	q: what's brown and sticky? a: a stick __________________ “You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”

03-25-2014, 06:10 PM	#108
Candelion Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she/her/you Relationship Status: He can till my field. Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Canada Posts: 1,317 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,396 Thanked 4,029 Times in 895 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	A really hot butch asked me for my number today and all I had to do was hit hys car with my car. When a femme wears leather, a butch goes crazy and gets weak in the knees...she smells like a new truck!

03-28-2014, 08:19 AM	#109
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-28-2014, 01:08 PM	#110
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-29-2014, 07:52 AM	#111
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-29-2014, 08:27 AM	#112
mythy Junior Member How Do You Identify?: silly buggar Relationship Status: single Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: cheshire Posts: 80 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 55 Thanked 180 Times in 67 Posts Rep Power: 1503252	Daft Joke A bloke goes to a fancy dress party naked with his girlfriend on his shoulders, they get there knock on the door and the bloke who answers says "what have you come as", the guy sez " a tortoise", the first bloke sez and who's that on your shoulders"...the guy sez "thats michelle"

03-30-2014, 07:10 AM	#113
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-30-2014, 07:12 AM	#114
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-30-2014, 04:47 PM	#115
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

03-31-2014, 04:24 AM	#116
mythy Junior Member How Do You Identify?: silly buggar Relationship Status: single Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: cheshire Posts: 80 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 55 Thanked 180 Times in 67 Posts Rep Power: 1503252	joke Bad Spellers UNTIE I have a black belt in origame. Last edited by mythy; 03-31-2014 at 04:26 AM. Reason: Another one

04-01-2014, 05:32 PM	#117
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

04-01-2014, 07:45 PM	#118
Candelion Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she/her/you Relationship Status: He can till my field. Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Canada Posts: 1,317 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,396 Thanked 4,029 Times in 895 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Unfortunately, putting a bow on your head does not make you gifted. A truckload of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins. What a turtle disaster. Insulting me gets you nowhere. Plus, it makes you look fat. The best way to get a youthful figure is to ask a woman her age. I'm not that bright. The only way I'll ever get to say "Checkmate!" is if I eat at a restaurant in Australia.

04-01-2014, 08:23 PM	#119
Gentle Tiger Moderator How Do You Identify?: As a Tiger of course Preferred Pronoun?: Not the Old Man Relationship Status: Two Tigers Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Northern California Posts: 7,492 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,001 Thanked 15,990 Times in 3,992 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	This thread is cracking me up. __________________ Please like

04-02-2014, 12:53 AM	#120
mythy Junior Member How Do You Identify?: silly buggar Relationship Status: single Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: cheshire Posts: 80 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 55 Thanked 180 Times in 67 Posts Rep Power: 1503252	Daft Joke A burgler breaks into a house, after he has gone a couple of steps he hears a voice..."Jesus is watching you" he looks round and the voice sez again "Jesus is watching you" he looks round and sees a parrot in a cage, so he walks over, "was that you saying that". the parrot sez " yep it was" the burglar sez " wots your name" the parrot sez "Clarence" the burglar sez " that a stupid name wot silly fucker called you that" the parrot sez " the silly fucker who called the rottweiler Jesus"