How romantic are you?

[deedarino]

Note to self: Add romance to my "to do" list...

[deedarino]

Originally Posted by deedarino

Note to self: Add romance to my "to do" list...

A friend reminded me that romance is not a "to do" it is a "to be". So I will change lists

Honestly, I am with honeybarbara. If it doesn't come naturally, from the heart, spontaneously, it doesn't do much for me. Try too hard, buy me flowers, run around the car like a Olympic sprinter to open the door and I will smile and think how sweet. But give me a rock you found on the ground in the shape of a heart and I melt. One of the most romantic gestures I ever received was a hand drawn, crayon pic of two stick people holding hands with little hearts floating all around them. I framed it.

Romance to me just says; I am thinking of you not I am trying to impress you.

[Bard]

My darling wife is a romantic something I had never experience before I was always the romantic BUT she leaves me love notes surprises me with flowers sweet words soft kisses.. she cares for me tenderly when I have been sick or injured she is the ying to my yang

I love her to the moon and back

[mountainbikedyke]

Very! Ha!

[meridiantoo]

Originally Posted by deedarino

Romance to me just says; I am thinking of you not I am trying to impress you.

That's the best definition of romance I've come across.

[imperfect_cupcake]

Totally. I love little things. Personable and individual. Things just for me.
My exwife used to carry the bags home on the bike after grocery shopping, not because she wanted to be a gentleman, but because she didn't want my front tire to wobble and thus possibly get smucked by a car.
She would find me a seat at an event 30 min in not because that's the chiverlrous thing to do, but because she knew 30 min was the time limit of my sore feet in heels.
Probably the most romantic thing she ever did was when I had food poisoning in her sisters bed in the middle of the night. On a brand new super expensive mattress. I knew how freaked out and upset her sister would be. I was in a state. What did she do? She woke up her sister and told her she had done it because she drank too much. Even though she caught the wrath of her sister for three days over it.

That's love. That is romance. Someone taking the shit for you because they can't bare seeing you sick and upset. Fuck flowers and poetry. Cleaning up my puke while I'm crying, lying to your own family and going out to get carpet cleaner to wash the mattress with is stellar romance.

[bokster]

This got me thinking as I don't do any of the usual romantic things like leaving notes, though, once, I had a bunch of flowers delivered to a special friend on her birthday - she lived in another country and I ordered a floral arrangement online of I-don't-know-what flowers they were (they looked pretty).

I agree with what I've read so far about not trying too hard. But I'll open doors for you if you don't beat me to it. And I'll bring a small cooler of ice cold beer when I pick you up from the airport. Save some for me.

[ForeverMe]

I am absolutely a romantic. I feel that romance is best when both parties are on the same page. I enjoy being romanced and also I also love to do some romancing.

The fastest way to my heart is to hold my door, gently touch my hand, planning little outings, or numerous other thoughtful, romantic moves. A little creativity will carry you a long ways.

[Femmadian]

I used to think that I was not very romantic. Then I had two long term relationships in a row with people who weren't romantic at all (after getting used to dating people who would be romantic once in a blue moon) and I came to realize that no, actually, I really am and it's something that's important to me in a relationship... After voicing my desires to no avail, in the end those relationships made me feel like I just wasn't worth the effort. I won't ever allow that to happen again.

Maybe it's not very hip to admit to wanting flowers and poetry and the whole nine yards (at least in certain circles), but damn it, I do, and I'm so sick of being made to feel somehow defective, a bad feminist, or hopelessly old fashioned for wanting it (not by anyone here - just generally). For me personally, it used to be something I would deny about myself and try desperately to ignore or downplay (along with most of the traditionally "feminine" aspects of my personality) and now it's something I embrace after years of struggling with it.

Some of the stuff we derisively peg as romantic or Hallmark-y, I think it's because it's just really overdone or it's because it's done insincerely or indiscriminately. I don't think that there is anything inherently cheesy or impersonal about flowers, poetry, or any of the things we sometimes roll our eyes at. I think the key is the intent, sincerity of the persons involved, and communication. If you bring me red roses on a date because that's "just something you do" as opposed to putting thought into it and finding out what I actually like (or if I like them at all), then yeah, kinda formulaic, though I would still find it sweet and appreciate the effort (and also the novelty of it as it would be a first for me). If, however, you make the effort to discover that I like white roses, lilacs, and pink carnations (don't judge me ) and whip out one of those, to me that is super romantic. Likewise, if I invite you over for a home cooked meal and some snuggling while we watch a movie, it could be considered formulaic and impersonal if I just put something together like pasta or lasagna, light a few candles, and have a random recent release ready for you. Instead, maybe you prefer Indian food and would appreciate a dish of roghan josh, incense over candles, and maybe you have a thing for retro kung-fu movies or really obscure and slightly depressing French films. I think most anything can be romantic, even the things that seem overplayed at first glance, if done right.

Romance is also important for me to just keep the relationship alive and sparking and so that I don't end up feeling like I have a glorified roommate who I also sleep with when the mood strikes.

I want to be with someone who wants to lay out on the grass in a field and look at the stars.
I want to be with someone who enjoys reading poetry/prose/whatever out loud to each other while snuggled up in bed.
I want to be with someone who thinks little love notes and surprises "just because" are sweet and not corny.
I want to be with someone who understands the importance of physical affection outside of the bedroom and the sweetness of an unexpectedly gentle touch.
I want to be swept off my feet just once so I can know what it feels like.
I want to be with someone who is comfortable with both receiving and giving romantic gestures and who understands it doesn't diminish them or their masculinity in any way to be "caught" doing so.
Basically, I want someone who speaks the same "language" and understands that in a relationship this stuff is the good stuff.

[VintageFemme]

This is one of my most favourite threads on BFP. I love reading how others perceive and welcome romance into their relationships. It's such a special effort that means so much and lingers forever. I remember each and every romantic notion ever showered upon me.

That birthday you played Happy Birthday on your harmonica to me naked.
The midnight picnic in an empty field under the stars as well as all of the floor picnics in your apt.
When you learned to play Imagine on your keyboard because you knew I loved it.
The love letters mailed to me when you lived in the same city & all the creative romance they said to me [including the sexy drawings!].
Writing me poetry.
All of the hours you worked to buy me that puppy.
Serenading me on my balcony, with your guitar from the lawn.
Kissing me in the parking lot in the rain.
Taking my photo with you so faraway after we had just met.
Getting into the bath with me in your clothes.
Handmade gifts from your heart, working overtime to earn the money to come see me, going through all kinds of drama & hell to come see me, and the poetry. All of the poetry.
When you dug up an entire rose bush & left it on my door.
When you left a candy bar & greeting card on my car windshield.
When you walked on the streetside of the sidewalk to protect me.

These are just a few of the things that have sent my heart and head into a spinning whirlwind of romance over the years and in those alone moments when I feel a little 'less than' - I remember them and remember when I was 'more than'. Mhmm, romance is very important and that one gesture, that one handpicked wildflower, that one mix tape will mean more and linger longer than you can ever imagine. Do it.

Love.

[Femmadian]

Originally Posted by VintageFemme

« snip »
When you dug up an entire rose bush & left it on my door.

Holy shit. That's super romantic (and maybe a bit illegal depending on where the bush originally came from, hahaha). What a great twist on a traditional idea. Love it! What a lucky lady!

[VintageFemme]

Originally Posted by Femmadian

Holy shit. That's super romantic (and maybe a bit illegal depending on where the bush originally came from, hahaha). What a great twist on a traditional idea. Love it! What a lucky lady!

It was a very long time ago & yeah, I opened the door to go to work and saw this ginormous rose bush, roots and all LoL just leaning on my doorstep! I laughed out loud and my heart jumped like mad crazy. It was super romantic and precious. Yep, I have to say I've been very lucky in having so much romance in my life. And I don't take one memory, one moment for granted - they were all so special to me.