What do YOU need to feel loved?

[Oneida]

To feel loved, I need to believe in you...know your authentic self...and be a priority. I need to have known your forgiveness and witnessed how you love others, like your Mom or sister or best friend. To feel love, to me, is to feel safe. Safe from lies, distrust, abuse, misuse, indifference, etc... The most perfect example, for me, is the love I share with my parents.

[Apocalipstic]

It is really amazing how differently we perceive feeling loved.

This is a very interesting thread!

It explains why several relationships I have had have not worked....it had nothing to do with either of us being bad people, we just had different styles of feeling loved.

I must say for me, past trust and respect, it really helps to have some things in common. I really would far rather discuss WWII or the Reformation than cleats. I will be in a way better mood if I don't have to attend endless depressing writer's nights or softball practices. Nothing against those things, I just don't care about them at all.

Cynthia (My G/F) would way rather discuss Erasmus than watch football....I am truly blessed!

Yes we do have some different interests, but don't have to spend every second together to feel loved. For example I love Glee and C loves Cage Fighting....thanks to the DVR, not a problem.

[julieisafemme]

Really excellent thread. For me to feel loved I need to feel partnered. It is hard to explain. I have it now. I did not in the past. I felt alone. Now I feel partnered! Hand holding, decision making, emotional support. We like to do the same things. It's nice.

[AtLast]

Short answer- the ability (and commitment) to build a history with someone. Mutual high regard & respect has to be part of the equation.

[sharkchomp]

How do I feel loved? Wow, great question and not one I've thought on much. So as I've sat and pondered on it, the best I can come up with is this...

They say love is a Verb - an action. True. But I think there has to be sincerity behind the action for it to mean anything. A person could do a thousand things for me but if they're grumbling about it... well it doesn't feel all that loving.

I agree with Hack, being accepted for me, in all that I am and all my shortcomings, that makes me feel loved also.

I'll add more to this when I have more time....

~~~shark~~~~~~~~

[bigbutchmistie]

After a long hard day at work I wanna come home lay on the couch put my head in "her" lap and we just talk about our day...

And a whole lot of other things that will come to my mind... Other than what Ive already posted Im sure

[moxie]

Like what a lot of people have said, accept me as I am. That includes all of my flaws. Some are adorable, some are not.

An obstacle that I have had in many relationships I have been in is the fact that I am an independent person. I have pretty much been taking care of myself since I was 13 and I am 37 now. I have been told that it is difficult to love me because I don't need to be taken care of because of my strong sense of self-reliance. But I also like to take care of others. Kind of a double standard I guess.

But the thing is, I do need to be taken care of. Just in different ways. I need someone to listen to me when I need to talk about my feelings, which isn't often. I need someone that pays attention to what I say and actually listen. Simply asking me how a meeting went that I had that day. Know that I hate Pepsi. Know that I don't shop without coupons.

That is how I feel loved.