Taking a Risk to Visit Someone You Met Online

Bard · 05-12-2014, 07:37 PM

actually I met my wife online and when we met in person well it was amazing or rather she is

BrutalDaddy · 05-12-2014, 07:56 PM

Over the years, I've met a couple folks from online. Like you, didn't end well at all but it was a risk I took and in the end I was glad I did before the "fantasy" took over any sense of reality.

Then I saw a funny signature line on someone's profile that made me laugh on the old site and since I was having a really, really shitty day, I pmed her to thank her for the laugh cause I needed it.

She answered back.

Next year will mark ten years that we've been together.

Neither of us was looking for love or romance at ALL. We just got really lucky that we connected like we did. After all these years, she is seriously my best friend as well as my wife.

It can hurt like hell to have a crush then meet them and realize the fantasy doesn't match up with reality. So am sorry you had to experience that. Just know you're not alone in that regard. Tons of folks have that experience.

Just don't let it get you too down and know that they say there is someone for everyone out there.

Good luck to ya,
Brute.

SirenManda · 05-12-2014, 07:57 PM

I actually met my husband online also. But I met a few mistakes before, and I've learned that can be part of the journey. Putting yourself out there and showing you have courage to get out of your comfort zone may be what helps attract your soul mate later in life. Every mistake is just a stepping stone towards your true love.

femmsational · 05-12-2014, 08:28 PM

I think you're very brave and lucky that you found out and acknowleged the reality as fast as you did.

I'm not so brave. I haven't ever connected with anyone from online. But for one exception.....I met my husband on another web site almost ten years ago. It was really scary cause I had never answered any pm before. But I couldn't get past his name. It sparked a serious interest. LOL

We lucked out cause we're still together and as Brute said below we really are best friends. We met online, talked online about two weeks, met in person and two months later were living together

Which was absolutely ridiculous to me cause I'm one of those take my timers in relationships. But not this time.

If for some strange reason I wasn't with him anymore, I still wouldn't answer PM's from people I hadn't had any interaction with in a more public sphere. Like years worth of interaction. I just am too cynical I think.

I wish you luck in your quest. I also hope you are careful cause, like I said, for ME, meeting online people interested in a relationship is so risky it scares me.

take care,
julie

imperfect_cupcake · 05-12-2014, 08:52 PM

I've met oodles of people from on line. Forums and webdating. I've flown cross continent to a different country. They invited me, I had the time, so I went. A great deal of them were fun but nothing really gelled. That's OK.
I think keeping expectations within reality limits are pretty important.
It only took me one lesson to keep my expectations in check.

If you do decide to do it again, you will know how to stop your fantasies from getting away with your emotions until you meet.

After the first time I tried quite hard to keep a lid on any future planning if we had not met. I think that's pretty important.

But its like anything, you don't know unless you try. And then you learn.

anaisninja · 05-12-2014, 11:06 PM

Thanks everybody. It helps to know I'm not alone.

anaisninja · 05-12-2014, 11:12 PM

BrutalDyke and femmsational - I assume you two are a couple?

I'm glad it worked out for you.

Now please send me some of that magic good-lovin karma you obviously have in order to have made such a long-lasting match. Hand it over!

Thanks again for your supportive words.

Contessa · 05-13-2014, 03:58 AM

Chemistry just cant be calculated until you actually meet in real life. I have met women on occasion, over the years..maybe once or twice a yr from online. It's best not to have expectations. Some may have motives you don't see coming as well! There are good eggs, bad eggs and there will be great chemistry and not so much..You just have to put yourself out there once in awhile and see how it goes for u both..

BrutalDaddy · 05-14-2014, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anaisninja

BrutalDyke and femmsational - I assume you two are a couple?

I'm glad it worked out for you.

Now please send me some of that magic good-lovin karma you obviously have in order to have made such a long-lasting match. Hand it over!

Thanks again for your supportive words.

You assumed correctly, hence the "serving 25 to life with no possibility for parole" tagline I have under relationship status. Lol.

In all honesty, I believe it was a mixture of dumb luck and fate.

Dunno about good loving karma but I do know there are several couples on this site who've been together for 5 years or more. Seriously warms my heart too.

Used to be a non believer in the whole "true love" shit but it's out there. Just a matter of when the dumb luck/fate bit will kick in is all.

Best advice I can give you is make sure the person is your best friend as well as your lover and just breathe, it'll happen when it's meant to happen.

Again, good luck to you.

Brute.

05-12-2014, 07:37 PM	#1
Bard Family Man How Do You Identify?: TG Male Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones Relationship Status: She just gets me Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ..... Posts: 2,828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,997 Thanked 12,786 Times in 2,431 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	actually I met my wife online and when we met in person well it was amazing or rather she is __________________ This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name! Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.

05-12-2014, 08:28 PM	#4
femmsational Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: bitch, but she will do Join Date: May 2012 Location: Jomtien Thailand Posts: 808 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 866 Thanked 3,787 Times in 773 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	I think you're very brave and lucky that you found out and acknowleged the reality as fast as you did. I'm not so brave. I haven't ever connected with anyone from online. But for one exception.....I met my husband on another web site almost ten years ago. It was really scary cause I had never answered any pm before. But I couldn't get past his name. It sparked a serious interest. LOL We lucked out cause we're still together and as Brute said below we really are best friends. We met online, talked online about two weeks, met in person and two months later were living together Which was absolutely ridiculous to me cause I'm one of those take my timers in relationships. But not this time. If for some strange reason I wasn't with him anymore, I still wouldn't answer PM's from people I hadn't had any interaction with in a more public sphere. Like years worth of interaction. I just am too cynical I think. I wish you luck in your quest. I also hope you are careful cause, like I said, for ME, meeting online people interested in a relationship is so risky it scares me. take care, julie __________________ If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough" Albert Einstein Yes, I'm aware I can't spell, and no, I don't care quite enough to spell check. Sorry!!!

05-12-2014, 07:56 PM	#2
BrutalDaddy Member How Do You Identify?: Her Asshole. Preferred Pronoun?: Him, hym, he, whatever. Relationship Status: Bitch has no more excuses now. Join Date: May 2012 Location: Lower Alabama Posts: 519 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 206 Thanked 2,784 Times in 499 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Over the years, I've met a couple folks from online. Like you, didn't end well at all but it was a risk I took and in the end I was glad I did before the "fantasy" took over any sense of reality. Then I saw a funny signature line on someone's profile that made me laugh on the old site and since I was having a really, really shitty day, I pmed her to thank her for the laugh cause I needed it. She answered back. Next year will mark ten years that we've been together. Neither of us was looking for love or romance at ALL. We just got really lucky that we connected like we did. After all these years, she is seriously my best friend as well as my wife. It can hurt like hell to have a crush then meet them and realize the fantasy doesn't match up with reality. So am sorry you had to experience that. Just know you're not alone in that regard. Tons of folks have that experience. Just don't let it get you too down and know that they say there is someone for everyone out there. Good luck to ya, Brute.

05-12-2014, 07:57 PM	#3
SirenManda Member How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2014 Location: . Posts: 257 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 162 Thanked 959 Times in 232 Posts Rep Power: 6492221	I actually met my husband online also. But I met a few mistakes before, and I've learned that can be part of the journey. Putting yourself out there and showing you have courage to get out of your comfort zone may be what helps attract your soul mate later in life. Every mistake is just a stepping stone towards your true love.

05-12-2014, 08:52 PM	#5
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I've met oodles of people from on line. Forums and webdating. I've flown cross continent to a different country. They invited me, I had the time, so I went. A great deal of them were fun but nothing really gelled. That's OK. I think keeping expectations within reality limits are pretty important. It only took me one lesson to keep my expectations in check. If you do decide to do it again, you will know how to stop your fantasies from getting away with your emotions until you meet. After the first time I tried quite hard to keep a lid on any future planning if we had not met. I think that's pretty important. But its like anything, you don't know unless you try. And then you learn.

05-12-2014, 11:06 PM	#6
anaisninja Member How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: . Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: . Posts: 117 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 167 Thanked 486 Times in 93 Posts Rep Power: 6064352	Thanks everybody. It helps to know I'm not alone.

05-12-2014, 11:12 PM	#7
anaisninja Member How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: . Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: . Posts: 117 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 167 Thanked 486 Times in 93 Posts Rep Power: 6064352	BrutalDyke and femmsational - I assume you two are a couple? I'm glad it worked out for you. Now please send me some of that magic good-lovin karma you obviously have in order to have made such a long-lasting match. Hand it over! Thanks again for your supportive words.

05-13-2014, 03:58 AM	#8
Contessa Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/Her Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: US Posts: 220 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,134 Thanked 673 Times in 182 Posts Rep Power: 6048530	Chemistry just cant be calculated until you actually meet in real life. I have met women on occasion, over the years..maybe once or twice a yr from online. It's best not to have expectations. Some may have motives you don't see coming as well! There are good eggs, bad eggs and there will be great chemistry and not so much..You just have to put yourself out there once in awhile and see how it goes for u both..