Corny jokes - Page 17

ksrainbow · 05-21-2014, 05:24 PM

Q: Why do Kansas students have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First!

Q: Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Kansas burned down?
A: Almost took out the whole trailer park.

Q: Why do folks from Kansas go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
A: 17 and under are not admitted.

Ks-

Candelion · 05-21-2014, 07:13 PM

My mood ring was stolen last night.

I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Kobi · 05-22-2014, 04:09 AM

Happy_Go_Lucky · 05-22-2014, 05:19 AM

gotoseagrl · 05-22-2014, 12:05 PM

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Cash.
Cash who?
I knew you were a nut!

Happy_Go_Lucky · 05-22-2014, 05:22 PM

Happy_Go_Lucky · 05-22-2014, 05:46 PM

Bonus joke via request from....someone

gotoseagrl · 05-22-2014, 06:19 PM

What kind of socks does a pirate wear?
(Arrrrrgyle!)

Candelion · 05-22-2014, 07:09 PM

What do you call a country where all the cars are pink?

A pink carnation.

Happy_Go_Lucky · 05-23-2014, 04:49 AM

gotoseagrl · 05-23-2014, 02:46 PM

Why couldn't the pirate play cards?
(Because he was standing on the deck!)

What do you call a pirate that skips class?
(Captain Hooky!)

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
(Because they spend years at C!)

How much did the pirate pay for his hook and peg leg?
(An arm and a leg!)

ksrainbow · 05-23-2014, 05:24 PM

Traffic congestion is ten cars waiting to pass a combine on the highway.

OR:

You have to travel 20 miles just to go to the nearest mall

AND THERE IS THIS:

You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.

Kansas

Happy_Go_Lucky · 05-23-2014, 06:12 PM

Happy_Go_Lucky · 05-24-2014, 04:48 AM

gotoseagrl · 05-24-2014, 03:08 PM

What do you get if you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
(A hot-diggity-dog!)

What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot?
(A carrot!)

What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot?
(A walkie-talkie!)

ksrainbow · 05-24-2014, 03:31 PM

What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line.

I was reading a book on anti-gravity, I got to admit it was pretty hard to put down.

I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure...

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?

How do you make an egg roll? You push it.

Happy_Go_Lucky · 05-24-2014, 05:42 PM

Kobi · 05-25-2014, 06:56 AM

gotoseagrl · 05-25-2014, 02:33 PM

What gives you the power and strength to walk through walls?
(A door!)

What did the inventor of the door-knocker win?
(The no-bell prize!)

Happy_Go_Lucky · 05-28-2014, 07:11 AM

05-21-2014, 05:24 PM	#321
ksrainbow Member How Do You Identify?: Valued Relationship Status: UNO Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 773 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,759 Thanked 2,197 Times in 573 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I can joke about these, just because... Q: Why do Kansas students have TGIF on their shoes? A: Toes Go In First! Q: Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Kansas burned down? A: Almost took out the whole trailer park. Q: Why do folks from Kansas go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more? A: 17 and under are not admitted. Ks-

05-22-2014, 05:19 AM	#324
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,362 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

05-22-2014, 12:05 PM	#325
gotoseagrl Senior Member How Do You Identify?: old-fashioned queer stone submissive girl Preferred Pronoun?: mermaid, very lucky babygirl Relationship Status: Saltwater mermaid ♡ Join Date: May 2010 Location: CA Posts: 2,209 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,192 Thanked 6,103 Times in 1,727 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Knock Knock! Who's there? Cash. Cash who? I knew you were a nut! __________________ Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you've got to say, and say it hot. D. H. Lawrence

05-22-2014, 06:19 PM	#328
gotoseagrl Senior Member How Do You Identify?: old-fashioned queer stone submissive girl Preferred Pronoun?: mermaid, very lucky babygirl Relationship Status: Saltwater mermaid ♡ Join Date: May 2010 Location: CA Posts: 2,209 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,192 Thanked 6,103 Times in 1,727 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	What kind of socks does a pirate wear? (Arrrrrgyle!) __________________ Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you've got to say, and say it hot. D. H. Lawrence

05-23-2014, 02:46 PM	#331
gotoseagrl Senior Member How Do You Identify?: old-fashioned queer stone submissive girl Preferred Pronoun?: mermaid, very lucky babygirl Relationship Status: Saltwater mermaid ♡ Join Date: May 2010 Location: CA Posts: 2,209 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,192 Thanked 6,103 Times in 1,727 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Ok pirate lovers ... :) Why couldn't the pirate play cards? (Because he was standing on the deck!) What do you call a pirate that skips class? (Captain Hooky!) Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? (Because they spend years at C!) How much did the pirate pay for his hook and peg leg? (An arm and a leg!) __________________ Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you've got to say, and say it hot. D. H. Lawrence

05-21-2014, 07:13 PM	#322
Candelion Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she/her/you Relationship Status: He can till my field. Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Canada Posts: 1,317 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,396 Thanked 4,031 Times in 896 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	My mood ring was stolen last night. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

05-22-2014, 04:09 AM	#323
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,635 Times in 7,642 Posts Rep Power: 21474861

05-22-2014, 05:22 PM	#326
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,362 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849

05-22-2014, 05:46 PM	#327
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,362 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Bonus joke via request from....someone

05-22-2014, 07:09 PM	#329
Candelion Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she/her/you Relationship Status: He can till my field. Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Canada Posts: 1,317 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,396 Thanked 4,031 Times in 896 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	What do you call a country where all the cars are pink? A pink carnation.

05-23-2014, 04:49 AM	#330
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,362 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849

05-23-2014, 05:24 PM	#332
ksrainbow Member How Do You Identify?: Valued Relationship Status: UNO Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 773 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,759 Thanked 2,197 Times in 573 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	You might be from Kansas... Traffic congestion is ten cars waiting to pass a combine on the highway. OR: You have to travel 20 miles just to go to the nearest mall AND THERE IS THIS: You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water. Kansas

05-23-2014, 06:12 PM	#333
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,362 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

05-24-2014, 04:48 AM	#334
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,362 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

05-24-2014, 03:08 PM	#335
gotoseagrl Senior Member How Do You Identify?: old-fashioned queer stone submissive girl Preferred Pronoun?: mermaid, very lucky babygirl Relationship Status: Saltwater mermaid ♡ Join Date: May 2010 Location: CA Posts: 2,209 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,192 Thanked 6,103 Times in 1,727 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	What do you get if you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier? (A hot-diggity-dog!) What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? (A carrot!) What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot? (A walkie-talkie!) __________________ Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you've got to say, and say it hot. D. H. Lawrence

05-24-2014, 03:31 PM	#336
ksrainbow Member How Do You Identify?: Valued Relationship Status: UNO Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 773 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,759 Thanked 2,197 Times in 573 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Six Pack! What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line. I was reading a book on anti-gravity, I got to admit it was pretty hard to put down. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure... The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless ? How do you make an egg roll? You push it.

05-24-2014, 05:42 PM	#337
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,362 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

05-25-2014, 06:56 AM	#338
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,635 Times in 7,642 Posts Rep Power: 21474861

05-25-2014, 02:33 PM	#339
gotoseagrl Senior Member How Do You Identify?: old-fashioned queer stone submissive girl Preferred Pronoun?: mermaid, very lucky babygirl Relationship Status: Saltwater mermaid ♡ Join Date: May 2010 Location: CA Posts: 2,209 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,192 Thanked 6,103 Times in 1,727 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	What gives you the power and strength to walk through walls? (A door!) What did the inventor of the door-knocker win? (The no-bell prize!) __________________ Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you've got to say, and say it hot. D. H. Lawrence

05-28-2014, 07:11 AM	#340
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,362 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.