The Aging Community: What Are Your Plans?

Gráinne · 07-06-2014, 01:49 PM

One reason I bought the condo I did was because if need be, I could move my bedroom downstairs where my son currently resides and still have a connected bathroom. The upstairs could be for guests. That could make this place suitable for the rest of my life, if my health holds.

My dad lived on his own until his very late 80's, and then went into assisted living. That way, he had some independence but could get all his meals in the dining room, trips into the community, and most importantly, his health care. That's what I want for myself. I don't want to burden my kids if possible.

I don't fear aging in itself, only aging and becoming an emotional or financial burden.

RockOn · 07-06-2014, 03:14 PM

What a great topic, Medusa! Really makes one stop and think.

I will be 58 next month. (going on fourteen LOL!) Seriously, I will have to give it more thought before I post.

I'll be back.

MsTinkerbelly · 07-06-2014, 03:59 PM

I have given this a lot of thought since my Mom passed.

Like others have said, the thought of having to go on without Kasey makes me feel ill so this is a very emotional subject for me.

My health is sucky at best, and I'm pretty sure I'll be going first...BUT, Kasey is nearly 10 years older than i am so that's not a for sure thing. I want to live at home as long as i can, and i don't mind being a burden, as that (in my mind and family) is what you do for each other.

However, i did manage a large independent living facility for 16 years, and most of them are lovely and provide as much help and conpanionship as you need. So as an option if i outlive Kasey, that is what i would probably choose to do.

C0LLETTE · 07-06-2014, 06:26 PM

It is difficult to talk about "ageing" generally because circumstances vary so broadly but, in the extreme, for those with little or no family, no partner or none living, and few, if any, surviving close friends, the advancing isolation can be crushing; easily as debilitating as physical frailty.

Paradox · 07-06-2014, 08:18 PM

Great tread.

With my own aging parents, they are still in the their home and the children are around to aid and help with all kinds of needs i.e medical appointments, home maintenance, groceries etc.

When I reflect upon my future with my friends the situation is not as bright. I have been gradually strategizing ways to secure as much as independent future I can. Looking at independent or small group health plans (as I am self-employed), low-rise/townhouse-condos etc.

Rockinonahigh · 07-06-2014, 08:50 PM

I took care of my grannie and mom till both passed,it was something I didn't have a second thought about,now my son will take over my care when I get to the point it's needed.We talked about what if I need nurses care,well he said they can just come hear to see about you,no other option.I made sure he understood that elder care could be hard on body and soul and he said the same thing.As I get older I see how my grannie felt in lot's of ways,mom wen't out fighting till the end as I hope I can do...it just isn't easy no matter how it works out.

DapperButch · 07-06-2014, 09:36 PM

After my father's death I did extensive research into long term care insurance for my mother. She purchased a policy where either in-home care or assisted living will be covered for 6 years at a specific rate. On average, people die within 2-3 years of entering a facility, so she should be good. Being that she was able to purchase the policy with one lump sum, whatever she doesnt use gets passed to her heirs.

My goal is to purchase a long term care policy, as well.

I have no children. My partner TF, has a son, however, I think it is safest that we cover TF with a long term care policy, as well. If it works out that her son takes care of her (assuming I'm not), then he will reap the benefits of the unused long term care policy.

If TF is not in my life, I am pretty confident that my sister will make sure I am taken care of, even if for some reason she had to help financially. I am making the assumption that based on my medical history, plus my past/current lifestyle versus hers, I will become sick before she does.

Damn, this is a morbid thread!

07-06-2014, 01:49 PM	#1
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,864 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,116 Thanked 7,388 Times in 1,457 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	One reason I bought the condo I did was because if need be, I could move my bedroom downstairs where my son currently resides and still have a connected bathroom. The upstairs could be for guests. That could make this place suitable for the rest of my life, if my health holds. My dad lived on his own until his very late 80's, and then went into assisted living. That way, he had some independence but could get all his meals in the dining room, trips into the community, and most importantly, his health care. That's what I want for myself. I don't want to burden my kids if possible. I don't fear aging in itself, only aging and becoming an emotional or financial burden. __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

07-06-2014, 03:59 PM	#3
MsTinkerbelly Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ... Preferred Pronoun?: ... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ... Posts: 6,573 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,737 Thanked 22,908 Times in 5,019 Posts Rep Power: 0	I have given this a lot of thought since my Mom passed. Like others have said, the thought of having to go on without Kasey makes me feel ill so this is a very emotional subject for me. My health is sucky at best, and I'm pretty sure I'll be going first...BUT, Kasey is nearly 10 years older than i am so that's not a for sure thing. I want to live at home as long as i can, and i don't mind being a burden, as that (in my mind and family) is what you do for each other. However, i did manage a large independent living facility for 16 years, and most of them are lovely and provide as much help and conpanionship as you need. So as an option if i outlive Kasey, that is what i would probably choose to do. Last edited by MsTinkerbelly; 07-06-2014 at 04:02 PM.

07-06-2014, 06:26 PM	#4
C0LLETTE Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Depends on the day. Preferred Pronoun?: "I" and "we" Relationship Status: Very good. Thank you for asking. Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 11,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,676 Thanked 15,176 Times in 4,341 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	It is difficult to talk about "ageing" generally because circumstances vary so broadly but, in the extreme, for those with little or no family, no partner or none living, and few, if any, surviving close friends, the advancing isolation can be crushing; easily as debilitating as physical frailty. Last edited by C0LLETTE; 07-06-2014 at 06:37 PM. Reason: edit

07-06-2014, 09:36 PM	#7
DapperButch Roadster Guy How Do You Identify?: FTM, Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Northeast Posts: 7,745 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26,545 Thanked 26,814 Times in 5,772 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	After my father's death I did extensive research into long term care insurance for my mother. She purchased a policy where either in-home care or assisted living will be covered for 6 years at a specific rate. On average, people die within 2-3 years of entering a facility, so she should be good. Being that she was able to purchase the policy with one lump sum, whatever she doesnt use gets passed to her heirs. My goal is to purchase a long term care policy, as well. I have no children. My partner TF, has a son, however, I think it is safest that we cover TF with a long term care policy, as well. If it works out that her son takes care of her (assuming I'm not), then he will reap the benefits of the unused long term care policy. If TF is not in my life, I am pretty confident that my sister will make sure I am taken care of, even if for some reason she had to help financially. I am making the assumption that based on my medical history, plus my past/current lifestyle versus hers, I will become sick before she does. Damn, this is a morbid thread! __________________ -Dapper Are you educated or indoctrinated?

07-06-2014, 03:14 PM	#2
RockOn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: sitting over there ----->>>>> :) Preferred Pronoun?: .... Relationship Status: .... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .... Posts: 3,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,081 Thanked 10,304 Times in 2,610 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	What a great topic, Medusa! Really makes one stop and think. I will be 58 next month. (going on fourteen LOL!) Seriously, I will have to give it more thought before I post. I'll be back.

07-06-2014, 08:18 PM	#5
Paradox Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Constant Outsider - Humanist Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Toronto - Canada Posts: 59 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 57 Thanked 191 Times in 49 Posts Rep Power: 1217577	Great tread. With my own aging parents, they are still in the their home and the children are around to aid and help with all kinds of needs i.e medical appointments, home maintenance, groceries etc. When I reflect upon my future with my friends the situation is not as bright. I have been gradually strategizing ways to secure as much as independent future I can. Looking at independent or small group health plans (as I am self-employed), low-rise/townhouse-condos etc.

07-06-2014, 08:50 PM	#6
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,933 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I took care of my grannie and mom till both passed,it was something I didn't have a second thought about,now my son will take over my care when I get to the point it's needed.We talked about what if I need nurses care,well he said they can just come hear to see about you,no other option.I made sure he understood that elder care could be hard on body and soul and he said the same thing.As I get older I see how my grannie felt in lot's of ways,mom wen't out fighting till the end as I hope I can do...it just isn't easy no matter how it works out.