The Positive Life

Okiebug61 · 07-13-2014, 09:00 PM

I started owning the fact that I had way to many negative people around me because I thought I could help them! They say you can't fix stupid however you don't have to let them suck the very life out of you! See ya!

Orema · 07-14-2014, 06:07 AM

Two things help me stay in a good place mentally. I don't take on other people's problems nor goals.

Other people's problems aren't my problems. I can empathize, be compassionate and/or sympathetic. I will help you, but the problem isn't mine to solve or worry about. Or, you may not like me or what I did. I'll accept that, apologize, work with you so it doesn't happen again, part on friendly terms, etc.... but I'm not going to let your bad impression of me become my impression of me.

Other people's goals aren't mine, either. I make an effort to not compare myself with others or worry about how much income my friends and teammates earn, what trips they take, property they own, bonuses they have, cars, marriages etc. I try to stay focused on what I need to make me happy and how I'm going to attain these needs. On the most part, I'm able to stay focused on my needs and this allows me to be happy for other people and happy for me.

aishah · 07-14-2014, 06:42 AM

watch/read something that makes me happy - for the last several months this has been my little pony. i also play with my mlp toys and such. it helps that my daddy is really into mlp too so we can squee over it together.

i think about all the things i have that i am grateful for - a nice apartment, food, enough money to pay for my needs and some of my wants, lots of books, games, my partners and family, friends, etc.

i try to limit my energy to things that have to be done, like taking care of my health. focusing on survival can be both a negative and a positive, but in being in community with other queer disabled folks, i've learned some helpful outlooks. a friend of mine with a rare tumor condition says that she often asks herself, if this is the last day she has or the last project she gets to work on or whatever, what would she do with her time? this outlook is for me really helpful for narrowing my focus to realize that expending energy on drama or things that don't fill me up is really a waste of my one precious life.

praying, really and truly for me helps. a lot of joy for me is found in centering my days around prayer as much as possible and a lot of suffering happens when i forget to pray and then let myself get caught up in whatever painful shit is going on, i.e. work drama and stuff.

Rockinonahigh · 07-14-2014, 08:09 AM

The main thing the bugs me is learning to deal with my diabetes,there are days
I have it going my way then I find I don't at all,then it kicks my butt.My numbers are with in the allowed amount but like this morning I tested at 127 instead of 110 or so....all I ate was three crackers before I remembers to test..three dam crackers.I should have waited a while but I got up starving plus I have had to many drops lately and I have spoken to the Doctor about it,so far no word from her.I remind myself it could be worse so watch what I eat with out thinking.

BestButchBoy · 07-14-2014, 08:59 AM

For me personally, the biggest personal and most positive change I've ever made in my life is to finally get and understand that loving oneself [Not in a narcissistic way!] is the most important thing that anyone can do. It's one thing to say that you get it. It's another thing to really, really love yourself and treat yourself with love, kindness, acceptance and authenticity. It's freedom. It's power. It's magic.

It is my opinion, based solely on my own personal experience, that when you know, trust, appreciate and believe in yourself; own your value, you will not be drawn to anything or anyone negative or damaging to yourself or anyone else.

PoeticWitch · 07-14-2014, 10:37 AM

I have learned many things over the years, not that I am old or anything, but some years were worse then others. Lets see if I can remember it all for (generic) you.

Breathe

Let go

Smile it will release endorphins to help you feel happy

go for a walk or a run

Pet an animal that will not bite or scratch you

ascertain the problem and if it can be solved

If it can be solved, solve it

If it cannot be solved, accept it and move on

Get out of bed, staying there only feeds your depression

take a shower

Take a nap, sometimes sleeping on it can solve it

talk to a friend that doesnt give advice, it might help you come up with a solution

the past is gone, tomorrow is an iffy, so live for today

Meditate

If you cannot meditate chant, Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo to shut your brain up

When you lay down at night to sleep, your thoughts are plagued with doubts about your day, so fantasize about happy things. A beach, A mountain, being in the arms of your one true love. Be your own personal super hero/oine. Be your favorite character in your favorite book

Make something

Get dressed up just because you can

Ok I think I have rambled enough.. Tata have a good day

CyberStud · 07-14-2014, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PoeticWitch

I have learned many things over the years, not that I am old or anything, but some years were worse then others. Lets see if I can remember it all for (generic) you.

Breathe

Let go

Smile it will release endorphins to help you feel happy

go for a walk or a run

Pet an animal that will not bite or scratch you

ascertain the problem and if it can be solved

If it can be solved, solve it

If it cannot be solved, accept it and move on

Get out of bed, staying there only feeds your depression

take a shower

Take a nap, sometimes sleeping on it can solve it

talk to a friend that doesnt give advice, it might help you come up with a solution

the past is gone, tomorrow is an iffy, so live for today

Meditate

If you cannot meditate chant, Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo to shut your brain up

When you lay down at night to sleep, your thoughts are plagued with doubts about your day, so fantasize about happy things. A beach, A mountain, being in the arms of your one true love. Be your own personal super hero/oine. Be your favorite character in your favorite book

Make something

Get dressed up just because you can

Ok I think I have rambled enough.. Tata have a good day

I'm in total agreement with the comment made so eloquently by PoeticWitch and others on this thread. The only thing I would add that I personally find extremely useful in resisting the destructive influence of negativity, is being selfless. Negativity at it's very essence is all consuming of oneself, so I find doing something that involves utter selflessness in the charitable arena does wonders for my spirit and recharges the positive force by that dynamic exchange of energy and focus.

07-13-2014, 09:00 PM	#1
Okiebug61 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Light Butch Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Hitched to Red Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 1,528 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,261 Thanked 5,377 Times in 1,245 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I started owning the fact that I had way to many negative people around me because I thought I could help them! They say you can't fix stupid however you don't have to let them suck the very life out of you! See ya! __________________ "Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawake." ~ Anatole France

07-14-2014, 10:37 AM	#6
PoeticWitch Member How Do You Identify?: Queer... that is all you get Preferred Pronoun?: um... she.. I think... shrug call me anything that pleases ya Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Toledo, Ohio Posts: 562 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 172 Thanked 1,131 Times in 377 Posts Rep Power: 7056675	I have learned many things over the years, not that I am old or anything, but some years were worse then others. Lets see if I can remember it all for (generic) you. Breathe Let go Smile it will release endorphins to help you feel happy go for a walk or a run Pet an animal that will not bite or scratch you ascertain the problem and if it can be solved If it can be solved, solve it If it cannot be solved, accept it and move on Get out of bed, staying there only feeds your depression take a shower Take a nap, sometimes sleeping on it can solve it talk to a friend that doesnt give advice, it might help you come up with a solution the past is gone, tomorrow is an iffy, so live for today Meditate If you cannot meditate chant, Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo to shut your brain up When you lay down at night to sleep, your thoughts are plagued with doubts about your day, so fantasize about happy things. A beach, A mountain, being in the arms of your one true love. Be your own personal super hero/oine. Be your favorite character in your favorite book Make something Get dressed up just because you can Ok I think I have rambled enough.. Tata have a good day __________________ Things happen, no rhyme or reason, either learn from it and grow. Or don't and fail this part of life.

07-14-2014, 06:07 AM	#2
Orema Superlative Soul Sister How Do You Identify?: Lesbian stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Moving in a single file Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Cottage of Content Posts: 13,585 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 41,436 Thanked 34,686 Times in 8,933 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Two things help me stay in a good place mentally. I don't take on other people's problems nor goals. Other people's problems aren't my problems. I can empathize, be compassionate and/or sympathetic. I will help you, but the problem isn't mine to solve or worry about. Or, you may not like me or what I did. I'll accept that, apologize, work with you so it doesn't happen again, part on friendly terms, etc.... but I'm not going to let your bad impression of me become my impression of me. Other people's goals aren't mine, either. I make an effort to not compare myself with others or worry about how much income my friends and teammates earn, what trips they take, property they own, bonuses they have, cars, marriages etc. I try to stay focused on what I need to make me happy and how I'm going to attain these needs. On the most part, I'm able to stay focused on my needs and this allows me to be happy for other people and happy for me.

07-14-2014, 06:42 AM	#3
aishah Member How Do You Identify?: queer stone femme shark baby girl Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, little one Relationship Status: dating myself. Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: dallas, tx Posts: 1,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,823 Thanked 6,442 Times in 1,288 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	watch/read something that makes me happy - for the last several months this has been my little pony. i also play with my mlp toys and such. it helps that my daddy is really into mlp too so we can squee over it together. i think about all the things i have that i am grateful for - a nice apartment, food, enough money to pay for my needs and some of my wants, lots of books, games, my partners and family, friends, etc. i try to limit my energy to things that have to be done, like taking care of my health. focusing on survival can be both a negative and a positive, but in being in community with other queer disabled folks, i've learned some helpful outlooks. a friend of mine with a rare tumor condition says that she often asks herself, if this is the last day she has or the last project she gets to work on or whatever, what would she do with her time? this outlook is for me really helpful for narrowing my focus to realize that expending energy on drama or things that don't fill me up is really a waste of my one precious life. praying, really and truly for me helps. a lot of joy for me is found in centering my days around prayer as much as possible and a lot of suffering happens when i forget to pray and then let myself get caught up in whatever painful shit is going on, i.e. work drama and stuff.

07-14-2014, 08:09 AM	#4
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,933 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	The main thing the bugs me is learning to deal with my diabetes,there are days I have it going my way then I find I don't at all,then it kicks my butt.My numbers are with in the allowed amount but like this morning I tested at 127 instead of 110 or so....all I ate was three crackers before I remembers to test..three dam crackers.I should have waited a while but I got up starving plus I have had to many drops lately and I have spoken to the Doctor about it,so far no word from her.I remind myself it could be worse so watch what I eat with out thinking.

07-14-2014, 08:59 AM	#5
BestButchBoy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Male ID Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 3,925 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 406 Thanked 5,438 Times in 2,037 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	For me personally, the biggest personal and most positive change I've ever made in my life is to finally get and understand that loving oneself [Not in a narcissistic way!] is the most important thing that anyone can do. It's one thing to say that you get it. It's another thing to really, really love yourself and treat yourself with love, kindness, acceptance and authenticity. It's freedom. It's power. It's magic. It is my opinion, based solely on my own personal experience, that when you know, trust, appreciate and believe in yourself; own your value, you will not be drawn to anything or anyone negative or damaging to yourself or anyone else.