Does a Soulmate really Exist?

[EnchantedNightDweller]

Yes.

[*Anya*]

Thanks to Wiki:

In his dialogue The Symposium, Plato has Aristophanes present a story about soul mates. Aristophanes states that humans originally had four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces. He continues that there were three genders: man, woman and the "Androgynous". Each with two sets of genitalia with the Androgynous having both male and female genitalia. The men were children of the sun, the women were children of the earth and the Androgynous were children of the moon, which was born of the sun and earth. It is said that humans had great strength at the time and threatened to conquer the gods. The gods were then faced with the prospect of destroying the humans with lightning as they had done with the Titans but then they would lose the tributes given to the gods by humans.

Zeus developed a creative solution by splitting humans in half as punishment for humanity's pride and doubling the number of humans who would give tribute to the gods. These split humans were in utter misery to the point where they would not eat and would perish so Apollo had sewn them up and reconstituted their bodies with the navel being the only remnant harkening back to their original form. Each human would then only have one set of genitalia and would forever long for his/her other half; the other half of his/her soul. It is said that when the two find each other, there is an unspoken understanding of one another, that they feel unified and would lie with each other in unity and would know no greater joy than that.

My perspective:

I researched Wiki because I had wondered where the concept of a soul mate originally came from.

I like Plato's concept of unity.

I think that if one finds a love that complements the self, that is as close to a soul mate that one could hope for.

I have had relationships in which we were so much alike I often did not know where I ended and the other person began. My 19 year relationship was like that. By the time I finally ended it- I did not know who I was as a person anymore.

I believe it was more enmeshment than that of soul mates.

My current girlfriend and I are in love and I love her as a person.

I don't know that she is my other half. I don't really even know what that means any more.

We are so different in the things and ways that my long-term ex and I were so much the same.

We don't like the same movies, TV shows, books. We have philosophical arguments that are ridiculous sometimes.

We both have a terrible need to be right until we have to laugh (if we did not already piss each other off).

Where we do totally connect is in our mutual respect, values, beliefs, sexual attraction and love.

For me, that is unity that I can live with- without losing myself.

[Femmadian]

I don't think soulmates exist. I find the alternative is much more romantic.

For me, I think the concept of soulmates can be very seductive in that it kind of absolves us of responsibility for looking after our relationships, sticking it out in the tough times, trying to understand the aspects of our partner we might not otherwise want to understand, and it also allows us to more readily wash our hands of someone or something with the idea that "oh, if s/he were really the right one or if this were really the 'right' relationship, we wouldn't fight (or at least not this much) and it wouldn't be so hard. I guess we're not really 'meant to be.'" I think it also keeps us in relationships or with people with whom we otherwise might not (or should not) remain.

I think it's far more romantic to not have the belief in a soulmate but to give it a go anyway despite all the odds. To recognize each other's flaws, wake up each and every morning and make the conscious choice to love and be with someone, to acknowledge the fact that those initial giddy, feverish feelings of infatuation will eventually (and quite naturally) fade a bit with time and to be patient and aware enough to see and feel the deep, abiding love which replaces them... to make the decision to create a life together and respect and love each other as best you are able while accepting each other, warts and all... that, to me, is romantic.

I think the sticking point for me with the concept of soulmates (aside from, you know, being an atheist and all) is the idea of choosing vs being chosen. I want to be with someone who chooses me for who I am and what I am to them (and vice versa), how we mesh and who we are as a couple, and to not feel as though they think I was chosen for them according to some ethereal concept that neither of us can really adequately define. I need something concrete, tangible, and real. If you tell me you love me because the stars are aligned and you "just knew" upon meeting that I was "the one"... well, maybe that sounds nice in poetry and it works for some people but it doesn't really pass the smell test for me. If, however, you tell me you love me because you've seen me at my worst, now know my flaws, and you still want to be with me in spite of everything because you still get that ache when I walk through the door, to me that's love.

[imperfect_cupcake]

Anya that's fantastic.

After being married to someone who "understood everything about me" - for real - and had so much in common... That deep click...
It didn't matter.

And recently being challenged by someone... I loved it.

But this is really a great research study on those attitudes about "soul mates"
And how it reflects on a relationship

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...-in-soul-mates

[JDeere]

IMO... no they do not exist!

[Blaze]

....Nope...
It's something that has to be worked at...

Just my opinion... I have yet to be proven wrong.
And I want to be proven wrong.

[Logicaly]

I feel like they do exist. In my opinion at least, its when you meet someone, and the click just happens, and things just happen naturally. I know some people say things shouldn't be effortless, but I feel like some things can be. Then before you know it, you two are together, and you don't even know when it happened, just that it did, and it was so natural, like breathing.

And when you are with that person, its amazing. The world doesn't stop spinning, in fact, the world starts spinning. Life even though it was good before, becomes even better, when you get to share it with the person whom you have connected with in such a way, that its a special, deep, intense, mind blowing bond.

The way they get you, understand you, participate in your life. They move, you move, you move, they move, and its all very fluid. They let your true self shine through, and it only enhances you.

Just my opinion.

[Bèsame*]

Originally Posted by Blaze

....Nope...
It's something that has to be worked at...

Just my opinion... I have yet to be proven wrong.
And I want to be proven wrong.

Need more proof?

[BullDog]

Originally Posted by Femmadian

I don't think soulmates exist. I find the alternative is much more romantic.

For me, I think the concept of soulmates can be very seductive in that it kind of absolves us of responsibility for looking after our relationships, sticking it out in the tough times, trying to understand the aspects of our partner we might not otherwise want to understand, and it also allows us to more readily wash our hands of someone or something with the idea that "oh, if s/he were really the right one or if this were really the 'right' relationship, we wouldn't fight (or at least not this much) and it wouldn't be so hard. I guess we're not really 'meant to be.'" I think it also keeps us in relationships or with people with whom we otherwise might not (or should not) remain.

I think it's far more romantic to not have the belief in a soulmate but to give it a go anyway despite all the odds. To recognize each other's flaws, wake up each and every morning and make the conscious choice to love and be with someone, to acknowledge the fact that those initial giddy, feverish feelings of infatuation will eventually (and quite naturally) fade a bit with time and to be patient and aware enough to see and feel the deep, abiding love which replaces them... to make the decision to create a life together and respect and love each other as best you are able while accepting each other, warts and all... that, to me, is romantic.

I think the sticking point for me with the concept of soulmates (aside from, you know, being an atheist and all) is the idea of choosing vs being chosen. I want to be with someone who chooses me for who I am and what I am to them (and vice versa), how we mesh and who we are as a couple, and to not feel as though they think I was chosen for them according to some ethereal concept that neither of us can really adequately define. I need something concrete, tangible, and real. If you tell me you love me because the stars are aligned and you "just knew" upon meeting that I was "the one"... well, maybe that sounds nice in poetry and it works for some people but it doesn't really pass the smell test for me. If, however, you tell me you love me because you've seen me at my worst, now know my flaws, and you still want to be with me in spite of everything because you still get that ache when I walk through the door, to me that's love.

I went back to read the earlier parts of the thread, and this is years old but it really did resonate with me.

I believe in true love, I am a die hard romantic, I believe you can have amazing, inexplicable connections with people (both romantic and platonic) and ones where things all seem to click into place. Also, I have always wanted to find my one true love and be with her for the rest of my life.

I also believe love is a choice and a commitment and something you do every day. I can't read anyone's mind or know exactly how someone else thinks at all times. But I can choose to love and choose to value my relationship and nurture it and experience our love as it deepens and grows.

It is a fascinating topic.

[Shystonefem]

Yes, I believe that Soul Mates exist.

That being said, Soul Mates don't have to have a romantic connection.

I have met people where I recognized them, without knowing them.

I think that would mates are people / souls you know on the other side and/or people you have known in past lives.

I think my middle son and I are soul mates because, to me, I feel like I have known him forever, even before he was born.

I also think there is something called Karmic Souls. I believe they are here to teach us a lesson and move on. Some people call these souls Twin Flames. To me, these are the ones that you don't bother with ever again.

Just MHO

[pumpndude]

I definitely believe in soulmates....

I have two soulmate friends and we all know there's something more than
our friendship , their is a heart felt connection or a connection greater than ourselves....

I wish I could find my soulmate future wife or her find me....but if not taking my time and spending a lot of time with my family...

[TL1]

Short answer.... No.

You're young and fall in love and you feel like that person is your "soul mate".

It doesn't work out.

Later.......

You fall in love and you feel that's your soul mate.

Doesn't work out.

I believe in love and happiness. Love can feel very intense and powerful. I believe long term relationships can work. But I do not believe in soul mates.