Dating Personality Types

imperfect_cupcake · 10-01-2014, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Extroverts are assumed to be the default and they're so dominant in our culture at large that, speaking as an introvert, I can't really fault a lot of them for not really getting us. They just don't have the exposure to us that we do to them. Plus, ya know, we're introverts and we don't exactly wear our thoughts and feelings on our sleeves. Overall, I think we're tougher nuts to crack!

Both my parents were introverts, and growing up a misfit punk rocker/goth, pretty much 80% my friends in school were introverts. As an adult, all save one or two of my friends have been introverts. So I grew up thinking there was something *wrong* with me because I "need" people more than they did. I really carried that around with a lot of peer pressure that "I wasn't whole within myself" and "I was silly and fluffy"

I also got bullied for my extroversion. Yup. Because I'm open, warm, friendly, tail waggy, shy and sincere (surfacely in person), I got picked on a lot. And Sexually harassed.

Introversion and extroversion can - for me at least - be an incredibly good balance. Many introverts are just as uniformed about extroversion and the other way round (trust me, given my past with my mates, *very* uninformed. Extrovert = needy, loud, obnoxious, shallow, fickle, stupid, etc...)

so I think a little understanding can be extended in both ways, agreed.

and an F I want to fix too. But the most important thing to me is that *they don't "feel" alone* so I try to fix by trying to connect. T tends to fix by using logic. And personally, I actually appreciate that. I need a slap of reality and objectivity at time.

I'm a huuuuge bag of sloppy feels. But being raised by two introverted thinkers... I have a certain respect and appreciation for it? mebbe.

SleepyButch · 10-01-2014, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

Both my parents were introverts, and growing up a misfit punk rocker/goth, pretty much 80% my friends in school were introverts. As an adult, all save one or two of my friends have been introverts. So I grew up thinking there was something *wrong* with me because I "need" people more than they did. I really carried that around with a lot of peer pressure that "I wasn't whole within myself" and "I was silly and fluffy"

I also got bullied for my extroversion. Yup. Because I'm open, warm, friendly, tail waggy, shy and sincere (surfacely in person), I got picked on a lot. And Sexually harassed.

Introversion and extroversion can - for me at least - be an incredibly good balance. Many introverts are just as uniformed about extroversion and the other way round (trust me, given my past with my mates, *very* uninformed. Extrovert = needy, loud, obnoxious, shallow, fickle, stupid, etc...)

so I think a little understanding can be extended in both ways, agreed.

and an F I want to fix too. But the most important thing to me is that *they don't "feel" alone* so I try to fix by trying to connect. T tends to fix by using logic. And personally, I actually appreciate that. I need a slap of reality and objectivity at time.

I'm a huuuuge bag of sloppy feels. But being raised by two introverted thinkers... I have a certain respect and appreciation for it? mebbe.

I'll take the test sometime later but what I do know is that I am an Introvert and shy (at first). What that usually means for me is that people think I'm stuck up or just not friendly, which is frustrating on many levels. Just because I sit back, observe, and don't talk much when I don't know you doesn't mean I'm not a friendly guy.

I also have dated my share of extroverts, some of who don't get the introvert thing at all because they have put me in really uncomfortable situations, which I never understood. Okay maybe that was just one or two of them.

On the other side of that, because they are extrovert, aren't they the ones who are supposed to be the outgoing, life of the party, who does all the talking? I agree that there is a lot of misconception on both parts and I also don't think that every introvert is the same and that every extrovert is the same.

I guess that maybe this should be a topic of conversation when you are getting to know someone. That way, maybe you can each have a better understanding of who the other person is and how they react in certain situations.

I think you also said something earlier about yourself being shy and not making the first move when it comes to "dating" someone but that you will let someone know you are attracted to them. I have to thank you for that because for me, if I know someone is attracted to me, I have no issues at all being the aggressive one. Even my introverted self can cross some boundaries. lol

Anyway, that's it... for now.

imperfect_cupcake · 10-01-2014, 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SleepyButch

I'll take the test sometime later but what I do know is that I am an Introvert and shy (at first). What that usually means for me is that people think I'm stuck up or just not friendly, which is frustrating on many levels. Just because I sit back, observe, and don't talk much when I don't know you doesn't mean I'm not a friendly guy.

I also have dated my share of extroverts, some of who don't get the introvert thing at all because they have put me in really uncomfortable situations, which I never understood. Okay maybe that was just one or two of them.

On the other side of that, because they are extrovert, aren't they the ones who are supposed to be the outgoing, life of the party, who does all the talking? I agree that there is a lot of misconception on both parts and I also don't think that every introvert is the same and that every extrovert is the same.

I guess that maybe this should be a topic of conversation when you are getting to know someone. That way, maybe you can each have a better understanding of who the other person is and how they react in certain situations.

I think you also said something earlier about yourself being shy and not making the first move when it comes to "dating" someone but that you will let someone know you are attracted to them. I have to thank you for that because for me, if I know someone is attracted to me, I have no issues at all being the aggressive one. Even my introverted self can cross some boundaries. lol

Anyway, that's it... for now.

Extrovert Misconception... I watch rooms before I interact. I will stay quiet for as long as it takes to suss out people before I speak. I generally don't initiate conversations. But if someone says hello to me, I'm very warm and friendly.

I stayed very quiet and to myself in school (the one I'm in right now) for about three months before I spoke to people. Yes, people did think I was stuck up and judging them. And I can see why. I can't blame them for that, no more than I can blame people for thinking I'm flirting with them when I'm just being my warm friendly self.

People at school, when I was asked during one lunch discussion "what myers briggs are you" I said
"ENFP"
"YOU are an EXTROVERT????"
"yes."
"that can't be right."
"It is. Extroversion is only how one gets energy and how one processes info. that's it. nothing else."
"Wha-"
"I need to be around people or I get fatigued. I get depressed. I get exhausted by too much time on my own. And I can't process information internally. I *have* to speak or write in order to get it out so I can hear it or see it in order to think it through properly. But that's all extroversion is. that's it. How outgoing someone is, or how shy, that's a different trait."

Plus MOST people are not extroverts, nor are they introverts. They are Ambiverts.

all that extra stuff people tie to binaries... load of toss.

Most of my Partners have been gregarious and social introverts.

Katniss · 10-02-2014, 08:50 AM

ENTP

"Quick, ingenious, good at many things. Stimulating company, alert and outspoken. May argue for fun on either side of a question. Resourceful in solving new and challenging problems, but may neglect routine assignments. Skillful in finding logical reasons for what they want.

As a partner....

Sexually, the ENTP is enthusiastic and interested in positive, constant growth for both partners. They're likely to be very attentive, involved, and questioning. They enjoy spontaneity rather than fixed schedules, and fully embrace new ideas and adventures. They're likely to approach intimacy as more of a physical act which conveys affection, rather than as an opportunity to explicitly express affection.

In general, ENTP's childlike enthusiasm and genuine interest in the health and direction of the relationship makes them willing and able to promote healthy, growing relationships with their significant others. They need to watch out for their tendency to be unaware of what others are feeling, and to inadvertantly neglect their relationships when faced with exciting possibilities that are external to their personal life.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ENTP's natural partner is the INFJ, or the INTJ.

Katniss~~(table for one please, and no, don't sit me by the kitchen, I want a window view.)

SleepyButch · 10-02-2014, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katniss

ENTP

"Quick, ingenious, good at many things. Stimulating company, alert and outspoken. May argue for fun on either side of a question. Resourceful in solving new and challenging problems, but may neglect routine assignments. Skillful in finding logical reasons for what they want.

As a partner....

Sexually, the ENTP is enthusiastic and interested in positive, constant growth for both partners. They're likely to be very attentive, involved, and questioning. They enjoy spontaneity rather than fixed schedules, and fully embrace new ideas and adventures. They're likely to approach intimacy as more of a physical act which conveys affection, rather than as an opportunity to explicitly express affection.

In general, ENTP's childlike enthusiasm and genuine interest in the health and direction of the relationship makes them willing and able to promote healthy, growing relationships with their significant others. They need to watch out for their tendency to be unaware of what others are feeling, and to inadvertantly neglect their relationships when faced with exciting possibilities that are external to their personal life.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ENTP's natural partner is the INFJ, or the INTJ.

Katniss~~(table for one please, and no, don't sit me by the kitchen, I want a window view.)

We think you are just perfect the way that you are although I'll try to remember that bit about the window view. lol

imperfect_cupcake · 10-02-2014, 03:39 PM

Katniss! Aw that's why I get your posts

I'm ENFP with my F and T constantly switching back and forth on tests depending where I take the test. I'm very cuspy with it. I finally settled that although I have a lot of entp characteristics, my F comes out slightly more. However, there are ENFP traits if really don't have - I don't fish for compliments, I don't constantly ask people how they feel (that's fucking annoying) and I am not conflict adverse.

If I could, I'd clip and paste my traits from ENTP and ENFP and make my more accurate tell.
Technically, I'm an ENxP (x being variable between f and t)

Oh it's all so complicated lol

Some people are xNFJ or... The x can be any cuspy trait.

JDeere · 10-02-2014, 07:22 PM

ENTP here

Using their primary function-attitude of extraverted intuition (Ne), ENTPs are quick to see complex interrelationships between people, things, and ideas. These interrelationships are analyzed in profound detail through the ENTPs auxiliary function, introverted thinking (Ti). The result is an in-depth understanding of the way things and relationships work, and how they can be improved. To the ENTP, competence and intelligence are particularly prized, both in themselves and in other people.

ENTPs are frequently described as clever, cerebrally and verbally quick, enthusiastic, outgoing, innovative, flexible, loyal and resourceful. ENTPs are motivated by a desire to understand and improve the world they live in. They are usually accurate in sizing up a situation. They may have a perverse sense of humor and sometimes play devil's advocate, which can create misunderstandings with friends, coworkers, and family. ENTPs are ingenious and adept at directing relationships between means and ends. ENTPs devise fresh, unexpected solutions to difficult problems. However, they are less interested in generating and following through with detailed plans than in generating ideas and possibilities. In a team environment, ENTPs are most effective in a role where they can draw on their abilities to offer deep understanding, a high degree of flexibility, and innovative solutions to problems. The ENTP regards a comment like "it can't be done" as a personal challenge, and, if properly motivated, will spare no effort to discover a solution.

Greco · 10-02-2014, 11:53 PM

INFP

Greco

SleepyButch · 10-02-2014, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

Extrovert Misconception... I watch rooms before I interact. I will stay quiet for as long as it takes to suss out people before I speak. I generally don't initiate conversations. But if someone says hello to me, I'm very warm and friendly.

I stayed very quiet and to myself in school (the one I'm in right now) for about three months before I spoke to people. Yes, people did think I was stuck up and judging them. And I can see why. I can't blame them for that, no more than I can blame people for thinking I'm flirting with them when I'm just being my warm friendly self.

People at school, when I was asked during one lunch discussion "what myers briggs are you" I said
"ENFP"
"YOU are an EXTROVERT????"
"yes."
"that can't be right."
"It is. Extroversion is only how one gets energy and how one processes info. that's it. nothing else."
"Wha-"
"I need to be around people or I get fatigued. I get depressed. I get exhausted by too much time on my own. And I can't process information internally. I *have* to speak or write in order to get it out so I can hear it or see it in order to think it through properly. But that's all extroversion is. that's it. How outgoing someone is, or how shy, that's a different trait."

Plus MOST people are not extroverts, nor are they introverts. They are Ambiverts.

all that extra stuff people tie to binaries... load of toss.

Most of my Partners have been gregarious and social introverts.

The information in this thread is making my brain cells work, which is a good thing. I always thought that extroverts should be the outgoing ones who make up for us Introverts in any social situation.

I do like how that person told you "that can't be right." Made me actually lol.

clay · 10-02-2014, 11:18 AM

I am an ENFJ.
I love what HB said...so I am just like that in so many ways.
LOVE her word...ambivert".

10-02-2014, 08:50 AM	#4
Katniss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dame, doll, twist, dish Preferred Pronoun?: Ladylike ones Relationship Status: ***** Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: We drink sweet tea here Posts: 2,903 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,654 Thanked 10,370 Times in 2,088 Posts Rep Power**: 21474851	Argumentative and unaware....great combo I got going on here.... ENTP "Quick, ingenious, good at many things. Stimulating company, alert and outspoken. May argue for fun on either side of a question. Resourceful in solving new and challenging problems, but may neglect routine assignments. Skillful in finding logical reasons for what they want. As a partner.... Sexually, the ENTP is enthusiastic and interested in positive, constant growth for both partners. They're likely to be very attentive, involved, and questioning. They enjoy spontaneity rather than fixed schedules, and fully embrace new ideas and adventures. They're likely to approach intimacy as more of a physical act which conveys affection, rather than as an opportunity to explicitly express affection. In general, ENTP's childlike enthusiasm and genuine interest in the health and direction of the relationship makes them willing and able to promote healthy, growing relationships with their significant others. They need to watch out for their tendency to be unaware of what others are feeling, and to inadvertantly neglect their relationships when faced with exciting possibilities that are external to their personal life. Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ENTP's natural partner is the INFJ, or the INTJ. Katniss~~(table for one please, and no, don't sit me by the kitchen, I want a window view.)

10-02-2014, 07:22 PM	#7
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,833 Times in 9,708 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	ENTP here Using their primary function-attitude of extraverted intuition (Ne), ENTPs are quick to see complex interrelationships between people, things, and ideas. These interrelationships are analyzed in profound detail through the ENTPs auxiliary function, introverted thinking (Ti). The result is an in-depth understanding of the way things and relationships work, and how they can be improved. To the ENTP, competence and intelligence are particularly prized, both in themselves and in other people. ENTPs are frequently described as clever, cerebrally and verbally quick, enthusiastic, outgoing, innovative, flexible, loyal and resourceful. ENTPs are motivated by a desire to understand and improve the world they live in. They are usually accurate in sizing up a situation. They may have a perverse sense of humor and sometimes play devil's advocate, which can create misunderstandings with friends, coworkers, and family. ENTPs are ingenious and adept at directing relationships between means and ends. ENTPs devise fresh, unexpected solutions to difficult problems. However, they are less interested in generating and following through with detailed plans than in generating ideas and possibilities. In a team environment, ENTPs are most effective in a role where they can draw on their abilities to offer deep understanding, a high degree of flexibility, and innovative solutions to problems. The ENTP regards a comment like "it can't be done" as a personal challenge, and, if properly motivated, will spare no effort to discover a solution. __________________ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein

10-02-2014, 11:53 PM	#8
Greco Senior Member How Do You Identify?: GNC, not Trans, REAL. TIME. ONLY. Preferred Pronoun?: REAL. TIME. ONLY. Relationship Status: REAL. TIME. ONLY. Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: In a good life. Posts: 3,200 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,160 Thanked 6,616 Times in 2,285 Posts Rep Power: 0	types INFP Greco

10-02-2014, 11:18 AM	#10
clay Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch (Silver Fox) Dom Daddi Preferred Pronoun?: 50 Shades of Clay Darker & Deeper Relationship Status: married to my forever Join Date: May 2011 Location: salt air & sandy beaches Posts: 13,136 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 97,020 Thanked 31,666 Times in 7,748 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	I am an ENFJ. I love what HB said...so I am just like that in so many ways. LOVE her word...ambivert". __________________ To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault

10-02-2014, 03:39 PM	#6
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Katniss! Aw that's why I get your posts I'm ENFP with my F and T constantly switching back and forth on tests depending where I take the test. I'm very cuspy with it. I finally settled that although I have a lot of entp characteristics, my F comes out slightly more. However, there are ENFP traits if really don't have - I don't fish for compliments, I don't constantly ask people how they feel (that's fucking annoying) and I am not conflict adverse. If I could, I'd clip and paste my traits from ENTP and ENFP and make my more accurate tell. Technically, I'm an ENxP (x being variable between f and t) Oh it's all so complicated lol Some people are xNFJ or... The x can be any cuspy trait.