Rubber Ducky Poetry Hour

[mythy]

A poem in stages 1st stage

Come an' listen to me
and I'll tell you a tale
that you might or might not believe
of a weird and wonderful occurence
what some folks find hard to perceive

Now I know the majority of folks round these parts
can manage from cradle to grave
and have nowt to do wi' a jackal as such but this tales about one..called Dave

anyhow for them as dont knows, jackals I suppose
are wild dogs wi' right sticky up ears
they live where its hot, deserts and whatnot
so you'll not see that many round here

part 2 soon

[mythy]

He lived on the outskirts of Cape Town did Dave
In South Africa where he thought life were dull
till he went scroungin in a truck full of apples
and ended up in a warehouse in Hull

Disorienticated I think is the word
after six thousand miles in a crate
an' it took a few weeks wi'
just apples to eat
so 'is bowels weren't behavin; too great

Then they set of again wi' him still in 'is box but
he'd chewed through the top an' were hidin'
in the hope he would be in the Serengetee
but he weren't it were Amblethwaite Sidings

[mythy]

When there was no one about he got himself out
had a right good stretch and a scratch
and set off across Amblethwaite Common
to find a wildebeest or summat to catch

There were nowt but a hedgehog and he couldn't eat that
then he wound up in Hector Scholes yard
where he came nose to nose wi' a rottweiler called Rose
and thought "flippin eck she looks hard"

The rottweiler were nice cos she stopped and thought twice about swallowin' our poor Dave whole
and said "alright there love then says "heavens above,
you need a good feed wheres me bowl"

[mythy]

She says "here have some dinner fore' you get any thinner
I could play Auld Land Syne on yer ribcage"
she says "I like skinny blokes but your havin' a joke
think you'd never bin fed since the ice age

With the flame from the Amblethwaite Cokeworks
reflectin' in't pond underneath
she looked quite attractive stood there in the dusk
wi' a sparkle to her eyes an' her teeth

[mythy]

She invited Dave to stay at her place that night
a blue Bedford van she called home
and the two of 'em got dead nice and cosy
as snug as two nits in a comb

Now while Rose were quite happy confined to the yard
our Dave were bored out of 'is skin
so he went out the next day sayin "I'mount the goin' for some prey
don't cook utowt I'll bring summat in"

There not much call for a jackel in Amblethwaite, but
there no gazelles, no wildebeest n'that
no wide desert plains and no pampas nor nowt
unless you count the spare field by the flats

[mythy]

but he found himself on Amblethwaite high street
where the butcher were unloadin' 'is van
so Dave went to ground till there were no one around
and jumped in and made of wi' a ham


Now Rose were that used to eatin' pedigree chum
that she didn't take kindly to changethey'd
so bein' polite she just buried it that night
and Dave didn't think anything strange

So once they'd got used to each others strange ways
and adapted their lifestyles to suit
they lived out their life like husband and wife
and had three lots of puppies to boot

[mythy]

It's sad I suppose that poor Dave and Rose
passed on many years ago now
and though they've long gone their legend lives on
if you listen I'll tell you how

You see all the dogs in Amblethwaite be they collies or poms, chihuahuas, alsatians or pugs
they've all got that sparkle in their eyes and their teeth
and they've all got right sticky up lugs.

the end ta very glad