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Old 10-14-2014, 03:56 PM   #1101
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Poor Skippy dog (my roomie hates it when I call him Skippy Dippy Doodle) NEEDED a bath...
...before I even started the water, he was doing the Doggy Paddle in mid air over the tub, as I held him there, cracking up at him, then tested the water and started the hand-held shower...before I placed him in the tub, his paddling got faster....TOOO CUTE
Poor Skippy Dippy Doodle, the Bluetooth thief, has had a rough day...
Today while giving his brother a bath, I found out why Dippy's soap didn't lather up ...my roomie had placed the peppermint OIL on the tub instead of peppermint SOAP...Poor Dippy is a slippery lil dude today.
Then poor Dippy is "in the dawg house" for chewing on his Daddy's Bluetooth last night. I wish you all could hear Blade tell the story of WHERE he found the pieces!!!

There's no way to stay mad at Dippy..he's just too dang cute!! Especially with his big Yoda ears!!
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Old 10-15-2014, 06:24 AM   #1102
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Default attack of the hairy spider!!!

I HATE SPIDERS!!!

Especially when one peeks out from under my visor as I'm driving on the highway to my doctor's!!! She may need to give me anxiety meds after that!!
I nearly jumped outa the car...but instead, as the creepy crawly thing walked it's way over to my mirror, I found a place to pull over...afraid it would jump in my lap, I reached for anything to kill it with...TWICE I tried to hit it with the tissue box and still missed!! It jumped to the passenger side floor board and hasn't been seen again....

OMG!! my skin crawled the entire trip!! I am so bug bombing my car when I get home!!
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Old 10-15-2014, 07:50 AM   #1103
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Chatting on the phone with Q about how we're going to end up sitting faaaaar away from everyone else this evening just to avoid their sniffly bugs.
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Old 10-15-2014, 08:07 AM   #1104
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Had the immense pleasure of meeting my business associate's brand new granddaughter. Olivia is so cuddly, smells so good, (the top half anyway)

OK, the part that cracks me up. Her initials are O.M.G. *snorts. Told her mom thank goodness she doesn't have a third initial of Felicity......


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Old 10-15-2014, 09:44 PM   #1105
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Me...do you have any tools
her...I have 3 hammers
me...smh
me.. you wanted me to fix your mower, you want me to beat it into cranking?
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Old 10-16-2014, 06:53 PM   #1106
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My lady...

She has regressed...some days she's a little girl and some days she's a teen...

That said...

She thinks her son-in-law is "cute"... (he looks a lot like Woody Harrelson) and as he was leaving, she said a veryyy flirtatious goodbye...as soon as he was gone she turned to me and said, "he could have BOTH of us!!!" I about peed my pants laughing!
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Old 10-16-2014, 08:07 PM   #1107
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My kindergarteners doing the "nay nay" for me at recess.
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Old 10-16-2014, 08:17 PM   #1108
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My kindergarteners doing the "nay nay" for me at recess.
I haven't ever heard of the Nay nay dance. So I had to look it up on You tube. I'm going to have to practice lol.
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Old 10-19-2014, 07:18 PM   #1109
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Holding Skippy up in the air by the handle of his orange life jacket. He begins to do the doggy paddle in the air until, either I hold him or put him down.

Doin the air dog paddle
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Old 10-21-2014, 06:00 PM   #1110
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A conversation with my buddy at work. Preface to the story my buddy is a preppy redneck, his girlfriend is a Dr. The conversation is after the company gave us all pink breast cancer awareness bracelets and pink safety glasses in a safety meeting. So the conversation goes like this, him talking.

Me and KK went to Belk's over the weekend. We were at the perfume/cosmetic counter. They had this bowl of these wristbands in like 4 or 5 different colors. I got one of each color......at this point I'm shakin my head and rolling my eyes. He says he collects these wristbands.

We got back out to the car and the wristbands pulled the hair on my arm. I said OUCH and pulled them down my arm. KK says what are you doing with those? I said they had a whole bowl of them at the perfume counter. KK says, I know where you got them I ask what are you doing with them, why do you have them. I said, they were free and I collect them. You know they are awareness bracelets.

KK says OMG, those are for customers to put on their wrist so the sales associates know what you are there for perfume, make up, whatever. I said Ummm OH. Well do you want me to take them back? KK says OMG PO no I don't want you to take them back. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it would be to walk back in there and put them back and have to tell those people, my redneck boyfriend, stole them thinking they were free, awareness bracelets.

Yall, OMG I can't tell it like he did but he had me laughing so hard. It helps to know that she is all prim and proper and he's just a hometown boy.

Four years ago when they started dating she told him she was writing a book and that he was the study. She said she was going to call it From Bubba to Bond in 12 easy steps. ROFLMAO!!! I don't think she has gotten him to step 3 or 4 even yet.
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Old 10-21-2014, 07:11 PM   #1111
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2 crazy, loving pups...

My little fluff ball that looks like an Ewok is curled up next to me...

But it's Skippy Dippy cracking me up now...I had let him out of his crate to go to his Daddy...he runs full spead thru the living room, around the hall and in his Daddy's room...his nails skittering on hardwood floors like he was ice skating...

He spends a few minutes in there...then runs back out to me, his ass end sliding around the corner, he LEAPS up on my chair, gets to my belly, flips over with his feet in the air, snuggles and wiggles a bit, ...then runs back to his Daddy's room....

A few minutes later, here comes Skippy again, skampering and sliding around the corner, LEAPING on my chair, flipping over on my belly with his little chin and feet pointed up..., and is now snoring soundly!!! ....

I think he figured out I have the heating pack on my belly under my blanket...he's VERY content
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Old 10-26-2014, 12:03 PM   #1112
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So my radio is messed up in my car because I had to get a new battery. I can't access the code because my glove box won't open. So my kid starts whining that she wishes the radio worked. And I say, all spiritual like, "Maybe this is God's way and telling us we need to have some time to talk." And she replies, in her sarcastic tween tone, "Um, maybe it's just because you got a new battery."

Thank goodness I have her to bring me back to reality! Lol
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Old 10-28-2014, 07:09 PM   #1113
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Default dinner with several goofy friends and good ol' belly laughs ...

Cocka-doodle-do!!

Ya had to be there!
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Old 10-30-2014, 07:20 AM   #1114
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Last night...

I was having a nice talk with my landlord and heard a cow bellowing in the pasture across the way. I asked him why he was hollering and he said "well...let me listen" So he hears him bellow and says "That's a bull. All he's sayin is 'come here' and if he gets a cow interested he'll make ENTIRELY different kinds of noises" He kimda chuckled then and said " Animals and people ain't as different as you'd think".

Im learning sooo much!
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Old 10-31-2014, 08:28 AM   #1115
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I was walking out of the women's restroom and the lady walking in sees me and stops to make sure she's going into the right one. It makes me laugh every time.
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Old 10-31-2014, 05:57 PM   #1116
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Shake It Off Parody
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Old 10-31-2014, 08:32 PM   #1117
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A customer comes in this afternoon, perusing the jewelry table. My associate goes over to help her. I'm standing not far away, I can hear the conversation and it goes like this;

Customer, " I'm looking for a pearl ring for my Halloween costume party tonight"
Associate, " oh, what is your costume? "

" I'm going as a lady of the night"

Me, in my head, taking a double take. Your going as a Hooker??

Customer to associate, you know, did you read, 'Fifty Shades of Grey' ?

Me in my head, now thinking...you need leather not a pearl ring! Lol
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Old 11-01-2014, 05:00 PM   #1118
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People watching at the auction always cracks me up
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Old 11-03-2014, 09:10 PM   #1119
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A guy I work with called in late this morning, said he forgot to reset his clock (due to the time change) DUH time change it was FALL back, had he forgotten to change his clock he'd have been an hour early, not late.
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Old 11-03-2014, 10:09 PM   #1120
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So this afternoon when I got home, I started searching the kitchen for the two acorn squash that I remember buying over the weekend... all day I was looking forward to baking them with butter and brown sugar for dinner ...such a nice warm treat on a cold day ..

They weren't in the fridge...then checked the veggie baskets under the rolling butcher block island...nope...checked beside microwave where the fresh tomatoes are...nope...
Then started to get a little upset....checked for any grocery bags that possibly didn't get emptied....nope....getting stressed now...checked around laundry machines...dammit, nope...

Sent roomie text requesting to check back seat of truck...

30 minutes later, roomie gets home, asked me some silly question about do I think they are in the truck? By this time I'm getting pissy about how disorganized I felt...then my roomie checks the kitchen in same places I had...

A few minutes later, roomie suddenly remembered that we actually DID NOT buy the damn acorn squash!! I argued with him that we bought TWO... He very patiently had to jog my memory, that we tried to buy them, but the Wally World cashier never could find the produce number for acorn squash and she took so long to figure out how to charge for them, that we told her to put them back, we needed to get outa there because we had a busy day.

So today my mind just KNEW I had gotten those damn things...I flustered myself looking all over, overturning things in my big pantry...then argued with my poor roomie!! ...


We had salad with dinner instead of warm baked yummy squash.

My roomie and I had a really good laugh that I had totally forgot.
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