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Old 12-25-2014, 07:18 PM   #1
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This thread is old but I think its important for young b/f folks to band together since the dynamic is not nearly as present in our age group. In general, androgyny has taken hold as the new queer style and dichotomies regarding gender or sexuality are often criticized as restricting. Have other folks experienced this mindset? As a young butch or femme, how do you feel about it? To each their own, always, but for me I need polarity in a relationship and b/f is what I crave.
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Old 12-27-2014, 03:36 PM   #2
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I think that rather depends on your local area.
Where I live, for example, genderqueer (meaning, all the masculine identities, not just butch)/femme is very common in the under 35 group.
When I go out to a genderqueer event, like Man Up (drag King night) it is jammed with people between 19-35. However, at 45, I look like someone's mom and am usually the oldest one there.

Seattle seems to be thronging with it too. London was fantastic.

But some places there just isn't. It was one of the main reasons I traveled so much when I was younger. Vancouver had Very, very few under 35, 15 years ago and I had to go afield to places it was common. But I've come home and now the under 35 scene of genderqueer/femme is pretty hopping. But not online. It's one of those things you have to go out for here. Vancouver queer doesn't tend to do much via the net.

So don't wilt yet there are areas where it's rather common/popular.
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Old 02-06-2015, 03:48 PM   #3
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I just came across this thread. It would be nice to get some other perspective.

I'm 28. And just sort of finding my own way as butch in the world. Around me, with my friends, it's not accepted well. Like it makes me less or something. I remember when I was first coming out, it wasn't even a thought I'd entertain because of how people I knew reacted to those that identified as butch.

I needed space and to get away from their narrow view of the lgbt community to realize that there are different avenues I could explore.

As for the B/F dynamic in relationships, well I can't comment so much on that. Honestly, I struggle to just meet open minded people around my age.
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Old 03-08-2015, 04:09 AM   #4
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I have lots and lots of lesbian friends my age, but they are all feminine girls who like each other. I told them I LOVE butches but they couldn't find butches for me because they don't know them. I know there are lots of butches here (including my age) but they just mostly hang out in their own groups. It's an important identity to me because I've tried dating femmes but it was pretty awkward and I just am much more attracted to and compatible with butches.
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Old 03-08-2015, 07:06 AM   #5
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I am not under 30. However, when I was under 30 I never saw another butch at all until I was well into my 30s. To find a butch or butch looking person I had to go to a bar. In my mind the internet has opened up way more possibilities to meet that butch someone. It is unfortunate but.... I was not ** butch** when I was a teen because I looked butch.. I was a guy from birth who got stuck with Zero help , input or information about how to be myself. I had to fight right out of the land of toddling to say I am NOT wearing that... I am NOT going to some ladies tea... I am NOT putting down this football..! I am positive that there are butches out there in the younger demographic who are just being them..... the huge difference... is that nowadays there's so much andro clothing compared to the old days that one chooses andro .... naturally and doesn't go full on butch/male clothing because they naturally are feeling in their safe butch place without making a huge effort to fight to be **** not in a dresssssss****. Having said that I feel badly for the young TG who hasn't found hys way and is floundering in andro-land. I hope you find that butch ... and help them be the one they want to be. Who knows.... they very well may be in drag and that andro or femme u meet might realize... who they are with your help.
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Old 03-13-2015, 01:57 PM   #6
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I'm sure I've posted in here before but it's been a while. Still under thirty :-) I've not had any friends in my age range since high school and it's something I've grudgingly accepted.

Now that I'm in the Bay area though, and around a bigger lgbtq community, I want to try and remedy that. :-)
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