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Old 12-29-2014, 12:06 AM   #1
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I wish I had written Femmadian's post. It's pitch perfect. That said, I agree that the sheer volume of ultra-thin women puckering and arching for the camera in this thread can be off-putting for me even though I have a similar body type to some of those models. It's not that there's anything specifically wrong with any one of those photos. It's that they're relentless in their monomaniacal depiction of the one way in which a woman supposedly can be sexy.

What I miss is the way the earliest posts on this thread felt to me. Women who were imagining how powerfully sexy they would feel in a particular piece of lingerie posted a picture of the lingerie. Sans model. Just the clothing on a hanger or laying on a plain piece of photo paper. It made me feel like I was participating in a secret femme party where we were sharing pictorials that told a story about our personal sexual power. That imagery left room for our own narrative. There's not an inch of space left for that when the focus of every post is about the body of the model, not about the endless possibilities of our own personal sexual power.

As for the evils of objectification- whooo-ah! That's a sticky wicket. I certainly do dress up in lingerie that makes me feel sexually powerful. I also absolutely desire that my partner, (should I ever find one again), would think I'm super sexy, and to objectify me for that reason. Yes, I please myself by wearing sexy lingerie, but it's deeply pleasing to me to know that I've pleased her as much, if not more. BUT... general objectification by any and all, including straight dudes? Goddess please save me from that nightmare! I spent the first 50 years of my life fighting that shit off. Thankfully, I've finally aged out of much of it, but I still reflexively duck and cover. It's easy to eschew any and all objectification when the overwhelming majority of it emanates dangerously from entitled men, but my brand of feminism means that I get to choose what moves me. I WANT to be objectified by my butch female partner. If anyone has a problem with that they should stop peeping through the keyhole into my bedroom.

Context is really important. The context for these lingerie photos is supposedly femmes in the femme zone posting for ourselves and each other. In theory there wouldn't be very much objectification going on between us, and one would hope that there wouldn't be a shred of judgement aimed at each other for our choices. That's why it felt particularly icky when a few butches started publicly licking their chops at us here. And also strange for a butch to scold us for our lack of feminism when it comes to choosing when or why we would wear sexy, and presumably expensive, lingerie that may be terribly impractical to wear while changing the cat litter, for instance. Those wispy little things have a very short life. You can trust me on this- We're capable of making practical decisions about when and where to spend the few useful hours during which those sexy little things look and feel beautiful.
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Old 12-29-2014, 12:19 AM   #2
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Hey folks-

We've gotten a couple of reports for this thread and I want to come in and add some guidance here.

First, Femmadian, thank you for so eloquently addressing what can become super problematic in threads such as these (and by this I mean threads where desire, sexiness, and Feminism (Femme-inism?!) intersect in ways that sometimes make folks uncomfortable or brings out political policing.

Second, this is a thread in the Femme zone started by a Femme discussing lingerie worn by women-identified folks.
*Any* critique from non-Femme-identified people about how Femmes aren't doing the lingerie thing, the sexual thing, the bedroom thing, or any other thing correctly (and extrapolate that with looks of desire, arched backs, or the myriad other ways we might "do" sexuality) will be unwelcome and out of place in this thread.


It is a really shitty feeling to be finger-waggled by *anyone* for the way I as a Femme do my sexuality. I am sure that the Femmes in this thread would also appreciate a little respect for their space and while they do not at all need me to speak for them I am issuing a reminder to all non-Femme-identified people coming to this thread that your participation in this thread needs to be respectful and consensual or you need to stay the hell out.

Thanks to everyone for their cooperation,
Angie
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Old 12-29-2014, 06:58 AM   #3
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This.

For all things, this.


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Old 12-29-2014, 12:48 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by CherylNYC View Post

Context is really important. The context for these lingerie photos is supposedly femmes in the femme zone posting for ourselves and each other. In theory there wouldn't be very much objectification going on between us, and one would hope that there wouldn't be a shred of judgement aimed at each other for our choices. That's why it felt particularly icky when a few butches started publicly licking their chops at us here. And also strange for a butch to scold us for our lack of feminism when it comes to choosing when or why we would wear sexy, and presumably expensive, lingerie that may be terribly impractical to wear while changing the cat litter, for instance. Those wispy little things have a very short life. You can trust me on this- We're capable of making practical decisions about when and where to spend the few useful hours during which those sexy little things look and feel beautiful.

I wanted to bold your verbiage above Cheryl, for me it felt icky as well and "slut shamey" thank you all who came in and put the light on the problem that arises a lot when it comes to how Femme's express their sexuality and sexual empowerment. The misogyny tends to drip into our personal canvas of how we choose to present and entice. It's good to see that we (Femmes) will not cater to a non-femme peoples and their mysogyny/sexism because frankly it has no room in our LGBTQI spaces.... It feels good to see sisters hold strong it really really does..
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Old 12-30-2014, 07:34 PM   #5
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Old 01-04-2015, 04:24 AM   #6
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Old 01-05-2015, 12:25 PM   #7
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I love love love this:



and this:

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Old 01-07-2015, 10:03 PM   #8
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Something warm..

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Old 01-07-2015, 10:12 PM   #9
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love this flannel bra!

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Old 01-08-2015, 11:35 AM   #10
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I CAN'T stop looking at this. Oh my!


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Old 01-08-2015, 03:52 PM   #11
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What I like:







What I actually wear:

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Old 02-28-2015, 07:57 PM   #12
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Old 02-28-2015, 07:58 PM   #13
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