What Cracked You Up Today?

EnchantedNightDweller · 01-28-2015, 12:38 PM

My cousin's girlfriend sending me a request on Facebook to like her sex shop business in Europe. Lol Um, no, I don't think so. Can't wait to tell my mom!

(Not that I'm opposed to them, just not gonna advertise it!)

FemmeBibliophile · 01-28-2015, 01:09 PM

You'd have to know to understand... But still. Heheh!

Daniela · 01-28-2015, 02:59 PM

This ad for Domino's Sriracha pizza in Israel...the tongue has a ballgag.

http://kitchenette.jezebel.com/domin...myspiritguide1

Blade · 02-01-2015, 02:26 PM

A picture sent from Disney

I don't know who was more excited to be there

The Christmas Elf or her Mom, I haven't seen JH in any of the pictures, He must be the photographer.

Picture of The Elf and Mickey Mouse and LTB at some kind of breakfast with Mickey thing. They were both smiling so big. I think if The Elf smiled any bigger her teeth would fall out.

Can't wait until they go to the "Prince Castle" and until she see's all of the "Frozen" characters. OMG she will be rotten.

FemmeBibliophile · 02-01-2015, 02:40 PM

This morning... Upon realizing that GB was absolutely right... I laughed my ass off.

Kobi · 02-01-2015, 02:41 PM

MrSunshine · 02-04-2015, 06:28 AM

My sister married this douche years ago and it took forever to get a divorce, he just wouldn't sign.

Yesterday we were talking and the subject came up about him.

Me: why did you marry him anyway?

Her: well, you know, he was like a moped, really fun to ride but you wouldn't want anyone to see you on it.

Lmao!

cinnamongrrl · 02-04-2015, 04:24 PM

My lil mama....shes always telling me my weather forecast. Her phone has an app. Its just so damn cute that my mom uses apps....

CherryWine · 02-05-2015, 10:14 AM

Bard · 02-20-2015, 03:39 AM

I am laying in bed and Juliet the kitty girl is done asleep on the bottom corner... Well all of a sudden she rolls and falls off the bed I sat up quick to be sure she was ok already starting to giggle and she looks at me as if to say I ment to do that... Then stomped off ... I lost it lol

Miss Scarlett · 02-22-2015, 01:05 PM

The guy demonstrating non-stick cookware on QVC right now just burned the living daylights out of the chicken he was cooking!

cinnamongrrl · 02-24-2015, 12:34 PM

Gemme's youtube video of worst Family Feud answers...

Holystupidity Batman....

I will never eat hamster eggs either!

Daniela · 02-24-2015, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cinnamongrrl

Gemme's youtube video of worst Family Feud answers...

Holystupidity Batman....

I will never eat hamster eggs either!

that was hilarious...

Gemme · 02-24-2015, 06:31 PM

You like that?

Try this one!

Blade · 03-02-2015, 07:57 PM

Mom...I felt noiseyated this morning, but I'm better now.

"noiseyated" What the hell is noiseyated? That's the way she says it. Chuckles, as a southern woman how does she get nois sound out of naus?

I must have repeated that word 30 times on the way home and after I got home. Thinking of every way to use it with every sentence. It just struck me funny.

*Anya* · 03-02-2015, 10:21 PM

The GF and I were watching House of Cards (again) tonight,

Probably for the 10th time, I commented on Robin Wright's fantastic legs peeking out of her pencil skirts.

My GF, who never says stuff like this replied:

"Ok, I think we have already established that we'd both like to fuck Robin Wright".

Uh, yes.

Bard · 03-03-2015, 09:22 AM

Last night at work watching a couple students sledding on what looked like trays from the dining hall down a hill on south campus .. then one took a header off the makeshift sled right into a snow bank oh the little things

bright_arrow · 03-04-2015, 03:14 AM

Whilst assembling a lego set...

"I had a man between my legs, where'd he go?!"

Cue snicker, giggle, pause, giggle giggle, pause, giggle..

Talon · 01-28-2015, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EnchantedNightDweller

My cousin's girlfriend sending me a request on Facebook to like her sex shop business in Europe. Lol Um, no, I don't think so. Can't wait to tell my mom!

(Not that I'm opposed to them, just not gonna advertise it!)

Really?....you're soooooo above it.

01-28-2015, 01:09 PM	#2
FemmeBibliophile Member How Do You Identify?: i no longer do Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: null and void Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: where dreams disappear Posts: 473 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 121 Thanked 1,442 Times in 337 Posts Rep Power: 11169941	You'd have to know to understand... But still. Heheh! __________________ The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go. ― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

02-01-2015, 02:26 PM	#4
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,412 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	A picture sent from Disney I don't know who was more excited to be there The Christmas Elf or her Mom, I haven't seen JH in any of the pictures, He must be the photographer. Picture of The Elf and Mickey Mouse and LTB at some kind of breakfast with Mickey thing. They were both smiling so big. I think if The Elf smiled any bigger her teeth would fall out. Can't wait until they go to the "Prince Castle" and until she see's all of the "Frozen" characters. OMG she will be rotten. __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

02-01-2015, 02:40 PM	#5
FemmeBibliophile Member How Do You Identify?: i no longer do Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: null and void Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: where dreams disappear Posts: 473 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 121 Thanked 1,442 Times in 337 Posts Rep Power: 11169941	This morning... Upon realizing that GB was absolutely right... I laughed my ass off. __________________ The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go. ― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

02-04-2015, 06:28 AM	#7
MrSunshine Senior Member How Do You Identify?: The Gardner Preferred Pronoun?: Ummmm Relationship Status: Nah Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Sunshine State, State of Sunshine Posts: 2,616 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,577 Thanked 3,891 Times in 1,155 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	My Sisiter! My sister married this douche years ago and it took forever to get a divorce, he just wouldn't sign. Yesterday we were talking and the subject came up about him. Me: why did you marry him anyway? Her: well, you know, he was like a moped, really fun to ride but you wouldn't want anyone to see you on it. Lmao!

02-04-2015, 04:24 PM	#8
cinnamongrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: cleverly disguised as a responsible adult* Preferred Pronoun?: wild woman Relationship Status: No, thank you. Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Home in NC..gonna dig in like a tick this time… Posts: 7,665 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,247 Thanked 27,604 Times in 6,959 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	My lil mama....shes always telling me my weather forecast. Her phone has an app. Its just so damn cute that my mom uses apps.... __________________

01-28-2015, 12:38 PM	#1
EnchantedNightDweller Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: her, she Relationship Status: Being single is a good thing and I like it. Join Date: Jun 2014 Location: Texas Posts: 1,492 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,907 Thanked 2,462 Times in 803 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	My cousin's girlfriend sending me a request on Facebook to like her sex shop business in Europe. Lol Um, no, I don't think so. Can't wait to tell my mom! (Not that I'm opposed to them, just not gonna advertise it!)

01-28-2015, 02:59 PM	#3
Daniela Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: married Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Jersey City Posts: 2,065 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,382 Thanked 5,239 Times in 1,243 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	This ad for Domino's Sriracha pizza in Israel...the tongue has a ballgag. http://kitchenette.jezebel.com/domin...myspiritguide1

02-01-2015, 02:41 PM	#6
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,617 Times in 7,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474860

02-05-2015, 10:14 AM	#9
CherryWine Senior Member How Do You Identify?: lesbian femme Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: The Deep South Posts: 2,491 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,060 Thanked 10,006 Times in 2,182 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	This little guy...

02-20-2015, 03:39 AM	#10
Bard Family Man How Do You Identify?: TG Male Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones Relationship Status: She just gets me Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ..... Posts: 2,828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,997 Thanked 12,786 Times in 2,431 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I am laying in bed and Juliet the kitty girl is done asleep on the bottom corner... Well all of a sudden she rolls and falls off the bed I sat up quick to be sure she was ok already starting to giggle and she looks at me as if to say I ment to do that... Then stomped off ... I lost it lol __________________ This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name! Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.

02-22-2015, 01:05 PM	#11
Miss Scarlett Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: . Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: . Posts: 5,530 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,478 Thanked 12,947 Times in 3,419 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	The guy demonstrating non-stick cookware on QVC right now just burned the living daylights out of the chicken he was cooking!

02-24-2015, 12:34 PM	#12
cinnamongrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: cleverly disguised as a responsible adult* Preferred Pronoun?: wild woman Relationship Status: No, thank you. Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Home in NC..gonna dig in like a tick this time… Posts: 7,665 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,247 Thanked 27,604 Times in 6,959 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Gemme's youtube video of worst Family Feud answers... Holystupidity Batman.... I will never eat hamster eggs either! __________________

02-24-2015, 06:31 PM	#14
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,924 Times in 25,666 Posts Rep Power: 21474888	You like that? Try this one! __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.

03-02-2015, 07:57 PM	#15
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,412 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Mom...I felt noiseyated this morning, but I'm better now. "noiseyated" What the hell is noiseyated? That's the way she says it. Chuckles, as a southern woman how does she get nois sound out of naus? I must have repeated that word 30 times on the way home and after I got home. Thinking of every way to use it with every sentence. It just struck me funny. __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

03-02-2015, 10:21 PM	#16
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,445 Times in 7,285 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	The GF and I were watching House of Cards (again) tonight, Probably for the 10th time, I commented on Robin Wright's fantastic legs peeking out of her pencil skirts. My GF, who never says stuff like this replied: "Ok, I think we have already established that we'd both like to fuck Robin Wright". Uh, yes. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

03-03-2015, 09:22 AM	#17
Bard Family Man How Do You Identify?: TG Male Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones Relationship Status: She just gets me Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ..... Posts: 2,828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,997 Thanked 12,786 Times in 2,431 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Last night at work watching a couple students sledding on what looked like trays from the dining hall down a hill on south campus .. then one took a header off the makeshift sled right into a snow bank oh the little things __________________ This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name! Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.

03-04-2015, 03:14 AM	#18
bright_arrow ☆ the stars are aligned ☆ How Do You Identify?: one queer mama Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: married to my Boo Daddy <3 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: nor cal Posts: 2,910 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,644 Thanked 9,363 Times in 2,296 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Whilst assembling a lego set... "I had a man between my legs, where'd he go?!" Cue snicker, giggle, pause, giggle giggle, pause, giggle..