How do you communicate when you're angry?

[bright_arrow]

It depends on the person, the topic at hand.

I've never been much of a physical person, or yelling. I shut down, I get quiet, I try to remove myself. Sometimes it builds up so much it is literally impossible for me to talk. Being continually confronted and pushed at this point, I start to seethe and detest the person pushing me on, particularly when they know how I react and try to keep me there without letting me walk out.

When it's quick irritation/dislike, I can be sarcastic and give off "vibes". If you can't pick up on what I clearly perceive as wrong, I likely won't say anything until some time has passed/we're not in that situation and then say "Hey, you know earlier? I didn't like ________".

If it's through text I will set it down and ignore it until I can settle my emotions and be kind without being snappy and aggressive.

If someone is quick to make a worse case scenario before they even clarify/inform me something is wrong, it triggers an instant F U attitude and I have to really repress it.

ETA: If all else fails, loud screaming rock music via headphones [no, seriously]. Quite likely with my head under a pillow or three.

[princessbelle]

Like most people who have posted, it depends...on a lot. As in; who, what, when, where and how.

But, i believe the wording is the key in this question and it is all about communication. If things can be communicated, generally, i've found two people, or more than two, or employers can at least agree to disagree. And with that communication MUST come listening and caring what the other person is trying to convey.

If communication does not work and things are still heated, after trying and trying and trying....I simply shut down, totally. No going back for me. When it gets to that point. I'm done either with the conversation, situation or people.

Case in point: I worked for a Nursing Agency for 14 years. I loved the job and the people i worked with and my patients. As time went on, they were more and more about the bottom line and less and less about patient care. Now, this is a not for profit agency, just to be clear. Either way though, even if had been for profit, the way they started treating their employees and patients was despicable. I became very angry. I talked to my boss. Then to my boss's boss. I had meetings. I wrote emails. I tried to communicate, but it was to no avail.

End of story, i took all i could take and when i was done. I was done. I walked away. Good news is this led me to the job of my dreams and i've never been happier.

Communicating when angry is hard. I believe gathering your wits, seeing things from all angles, regrouping and trying to communicate when things settle is most effective, regardless of the outcome. Listening being a major form of communication. And if all parties are not responsive to communication, either drop it if it's not that important, or do something about it.

[betruetoyoursoul]

....I am a person that tends to pick up emotions within a person and tension in all situations....My approach is to listen respectfully, share my perception of what I am hearing and ask for clarity , as I could be wrong.....I also tend to ask " What do you hear me saying?" ( in a tense situation) I can then clarify what my thought is and intention is/was if it has not been perceived/articulated in a way the other person heard me....I prefer not to sweep things under the carpet but to address things in a thoughtful way without degrading, yelling etc. and do a check in with the person....I have found this method to provide most often good results.....One of my personal boundaries is to never hit below the belt...... I tend to try not to provoke another person to anger...I would prefer a healthy conversation with respect....

[randrum]

I tend not to be real good at communicating when I'm angry. I have a habit of shutting down when I'm really angry. I need time to walk away, collect my thoughts, and come back to the topic with a level-headed, logical statement.

[oboejive]

I try to take some time to walk away from the situation to think, because I know that, when emotional, we all say things we don't mean. So, for me, letting myself just think things through before saying anything tends to help.

[homoe]

If someone is angry at me, I let them rave and rant and simply listen. When I'm mad however I tend to stay calm, take a deep breathe, gather my thoughts , and then hopefully convey in a civil manner my displeasure and the reason for it! I'm a cancer and it's often said "cancers don't get mad, they get even".

[imperfect_cupcake]

If I'm taking the piss and being sarcastic and teasing, it means I'm irritated and exasperated and willing to talk.

The second I get reeeeeeaaaaly polite it means
1) I think you are a fucking arse
2) you need to fuck off for a while before I pull your lungs out of your nose with a spoon.

If I go totally silent that means enraged. 10/10 on the implosion scale.

I jokingly gave one of my partners an anger scale from 1-10 1 being mildly irritated to 10 being incandescent rage.

They had little faces and my usual reactions and up to what level I could joke around in (up to 6) if the person had the charm and skill required to do so. Some people don't and I find I got from a 2 to a 7 in a matter of seconds. Others, there some kind of natural understanding and they can take me from a 6 to 1 in five words and make me laugh.

I love being home. A lot. But the west coast is very serious in certain ways. I seem to get a long much better with east coast temperaments.