What TO DO in a relationship..... - Page 19

girl_dee · 02-26-2012, 05:22 PM

be careful with your words, you can't take them back.

Martina · 02-26-2012, 05:42 PM

Yeah, eventually it comes out because how could it not? i guess i know that some people are on best behavior for a long time and some develop new interests. But no one could really pull this off. It's not to the rest of our credit that we do not. Making the attempt is immature at best. And success is simply impossible unless one is Chauncey Gardiner.

Quote:

Originally Posted by deedarino

You would be surprised how many people hide or change who they really are inside trying to "be" what you want. Eventually it all comes out, usually attached to resentment.

Martina · 02-26-2012, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Venus007

Do something physical together other than sex. Dance, wrestle, build something, do partner yoga, anything that connects you physically as a team or even as adversaries. This well help energize your physical connection.

i totally agree. Getting in sync when you are doing something is a cool thing.

dixie · 02-26-2012, 06:11 PM

Take the time to enjoy one another. (Quality time may be a cliche, but it's a true one.) It helps you remember why you fell in love in the first place, and helps keep those feelings fresh.

girl_dee · 02-26-2012, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dixie

Take the time to enjoy one another. (Quality time may be a cliche, but it's a true one.) It helps you remember why you fell in love in the first place, and helps keep those feelings fresh.

Yes and distraction free time is a good thing once in a while.

girl_dee · 02-27-2012, 07:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martina

Yeah, eventually it comes out because how could it not? i guess i know that some people are on best behavior for a long time and some develop new interests. But no one could really pull this off. It's not to the rest of our credit that we do not. Making the attempt is immature at best. And success is simply impossible unless one is Chauncey Gardiner.

Yup, or maybe one realizes that they did this, molded their whole life to be someone's perfect fit, and realizes that was a mistake because i feel, a relationship based on anything other than 100% truth will not make it.

WomenMoveMe · 02-27-2012, 07:48 AM

Be present in all manner and matter.

girl_dee · 02-27-2012, 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WomenMoveMe

Be present in all manner and matter.

i agree with this so much, undivided attention when it's asked for is important.
i want to be heard, and to hear.

girl_dee · 03-11-2012, 08:08 PM

learn from mistakes from the past
have a picnic together, that was awesome
see the world together!

girl_dee · 03-23-2012, 07:15 PM

if you want it, make it happen.If you don't let it go.

justkim · 03-23-2012, 07:17 PM

Ask questions... lots...
Communicate with each other in all forms... little notes, text messages, emails... you get the point...
As always... little things...

girl_dee · 03-23-2012, 07:19 PM

be individuals!

Talon · 04-11-2012, 10:51 AM

Always fight fair...don't allow your emotions to rule you, rule them.

thedivahrrrself · 04-11-2012, 11:21 AM

DO
~speak out the minute you start to have a problem. Don't wait until it's big and you're fuming about it to bring it up. Remember they can't read minds.

~take your partner at their word. Don't read too much into their actions. Trust that they mean what they say.

~get out of the relationship if the trust is gone. Sometimes it's damaged and can be rebuilt, but when it's gone, it's GONE.

~laugh, a lot, together.

~get out of the house. One of you is bound to go stir crazy.

~have separate activities and interests and friends, but have some together too.

~be clear about what you want out of life, and life together. People who care will live up to reasonable expectations, and if you care, you will too.

~think before you speak or write about your partner. Assume they can hear you at all times, even if they're not there.

~buy/make small thoughtful gifts for no reason, doesn't matter if you're butch or femme. Everyone likes to know they're being though of

thedivahrrrself · 04-11-2012, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

see the world together!

Ah, yes... Travel together as often as you can. There is nothing like experiencing something new together!

girl_dee · 04-13-2012, 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thedivahrrrself

DO
~speak out the minute you start to have a problem. Don't wait until it's big and you're fuming about it to bring it up. Remember they can't read minds.

~take your partner at their word. Don't read too much into their actions. Trust that they mean what they say.

~get out of the relationship if the trust is gone. Sometimes it's damaged and can be rebuilt, but when it's gone, it's GONE.

~laugh, a lot, together.

~get out of the house. One of you is bound to go stir crazy.

~have separate activities and interests and friends, but have some together too.

~be clear about what you want out of life, and life together. People who care will live up to reasonable expectations, and if you care, you will too.

~think before you speak or write about your partner. Assume they can hear you at all times, even if they're not there.

~buy/make small thoughtful gifts for no reason, doesn't matter if you're butch or femme. Everyone likes to know they're being though of

this is quite a nice list, thank you! we all forget to do these things!

girl_dee · 04-20-2012, 06:26 AM

trust but not blindly
live in the real world
be careful of what you intertwine
don't do things you may regret one day
don't be naive

Julien · 04-20-2012, 06:31 AM

Communication that is honest and open,
to give love freely because life is too short not to,
listen to what your love has to say,
be there for them in all things whether they want you there or not,

girl_dee · 04-20-2012, 06:34 AM

don't always assume their anger/hurt/moodiness is all about you, sometimes it's something else entirely

Corkey · 04-20-2012, 12:18 PM

Let them help you.

03-23-2012, 07:17 PM	#371
justkim Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me... Preferred Pronoun?: ... Relationship Status: <3 myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ... Posts: 2,023 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,062 Thanked 6,799 Times in 1,553 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Ask questions... lots... Communicate with each other in all forms... little notes, text messages, emails... you get the point... As always... little things... __________________ Kim "A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success." - Unknown -

04-11-2012, 11:21 AM	#374
thedivahrrrself Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Sapiosexual Femme Relationship Status: Mrs. Grumpy Cat Tournaments Won: 4 Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: 8,660 feet high in the Andes Posts: 2,640 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,519 Thanked 11,658 Times in 2,292 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	DO DO ~speak out the minute you start to have a problem. Don't wait until it's big and you're fuming about it to bring it up. Remember they can't read minds. ~take your partner at their word. Don't read too much into their actions. Trust that they mean what they say. ~get out of the relationship if the trust is gone. Sometimes it's damaged and can be rebuilt, but when it's gone, it's GONE. ~laugh, a lot, together. ~get out of the house. One of you is bound to go stir crazy. ~have separate activities and interests and friends, but have some together too. ~be clear about what you want out of life, and life together. People who care will live up to reasonable expectations, and if you care, you will too. ~think before you speak or write about your partner. Assume they can hear you at all times, even if they're not there. ~buy/make small thoughtful gifts for no reason, doesn't matter if you're butch or femme. Everyone likes to know they're being though of __________________ Small business owners around the world use microfinance to help expand their businesses and provide for their families. You can help! Click here to learn about Kiva.

04-20-2012, 06:31 AM	#378
Julien Member How Do You Identify?: TG/GenderQueer Preferred Pronoun?: I'm flexible, but only up to a point. Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Alabama, Gulf Coast area Posts: 1,007 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,247 Thanked 2,702 Times in 737 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Communication that is honest and open, to give love freely because life is too short not to, listen to what your love has to say, be there for them in all things whether they want you there or not, __________________ Julien “Self-plagiarism is style.” Alfred Hitchcock Formerly known as Graphiteta2s

04-20-2012, 12:18 PM	#380
Corkey Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Where I want to be Posts: 8,155 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47,491 Thanked 29,271 Times in 6,637 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Let them help you. __________________ "Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them". ~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee)

02-26-2012, 05:22 PM	#361
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,845 Times in 13,915 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	be careful with your words, you can't take them back.

02-26-2012, 06:11 PM	#364
dixie Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: I usually just poke it with a stick. Preferred Pronoun?: Bitch Relationship Status: Intertwined deeply Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: We're all a little mad here. Posts: 6,627 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,972 Thanked 21,384 Times in 4,808 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Take the time to enjoy one another. (Quality time may be a cliche, but it's a true one.) It helps you remember why you fell in love in the first place, and helps keep those feelings fresh.

02-27-2012, 07:48 AM	#367
WomenMoveMe Member How Do You Identify?: I just wander about and be! Relationship Status: Caution: Dead End Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Kentucky Posts: 561 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,473 Thanked 2,100 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Be present in all manner and matter.

03-11-2012, 08:08 PM	#369
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,845 Times in 13,915 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	learn from mistakes from the past have a picnic together, that was awesome see the world together!

03-23-2012, 07:15 PM	#370
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,845 Times in 13,915 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	if you want it, make it happen.If you don't let it go.

03-23-2012, 07:19 PM	#372
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,845 Times in 13,915 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	be individuals!

04-11-2012, 10:51 AM	#373
Talon Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Divine Feminine Preferred Pronoun?: . Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: . Posts: 4,921 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,246 Thanked 10,225 Times in 3,305 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Always fight fair...don't allow your emotions to rule you, rule them.

04-20-2012, 06:26 AM	#377
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,845 Times in 13,915 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	trust but not blindly live in the real world be careful of what you intertwine don't do things you may regret one day don't be naive

04-20-2012, 06:34 AM	#379
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,845 Times in 13,915 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	don't always assume their anger/hurt/moodiness is all about you, sometimes it's something else entirely