09-12-2011, 03:46 PM | #21 | |
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That being said, I think at some point you have to get deep into the business or let it go. You may love it now and the money but at some point you will be tired of the day in and day out routine and wish you would have spent more time with your family. My suggestion is try to find a partner again, give it some time a year to find someone you can trust and someone who sees the business as their own and willing to make it work the way you have. I truly believe you can find this person and can be a rewarding experience allowing you time away for your family, trusting everything will be taken care of. If it was me, that's what I would do. I would keep the business, getting away from it slowly but surely and starting to do the things I love more: family time, school, other opportunities. Good luck! |
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09-12-2011, 03:55 PM | #22 | |
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You're not boring us. Maybe let your partner see how much you love it? I can hear the passion in your voice as I read what you write. Maybe a compromise of you working only 4 days a week (not sure if you can do that with the company you haul freight for)? Side note, I am wondering if part of the reason your partner wants you home more is to help with her son? Perhaps she is overwhelmed? Maybe if you discuss with her ways so that she is less overwhelmed, her feelings of need for you to be home will be lessened?
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09-12-2011, 04:12 PM | #23 |
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Honestly, I would keep doing what you are doing. My father drove long distance for YEARS when I was a child and that alone is what took my parents from being people who could barely feed themselves and pay their rent - to being people who owned their own house (and recently purchased a second house up north that they will move to when they retire)
You have to think of the long term. You're currently in a position where you know you will be able to retire early - that's AMAZING! And you know what else? Distance really can make the heart grow fonder. My parents were always so happy to see each other whenever my dad got back that my mom says their relationship felt new and exciting for much longer than most people's relationships do. If she's feeling pressure from not having help with her kid while you're away, think of different ways to get the pressure off of her. When I was little I used to go with my dad all over North America - sometimes we'd be gone for up to two weeks at a time. And I know that helped my mom a lot, especially when my sister was still a baby. My dad made it fun for me, too. We'd stop at every shitty roadside attraction from Toronto to Arkansas and back. He let me play with the CB radio while he drove (although I guess your girlfriend's kid is too old to get a kick out of that). When I was small I probably ate at nearly every truck stop in North America, and I gotta tell you those are some of the best memories I've got of my childhood. Maybe during the summer or spring break or whatever your girlfriend's kid could go with you once in a while to take some of the pressure off of her. And if your relationship is going to be any sort of a permanent fixture in your life the bonding opportunity you two would have on the road would be priceless.
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09-12-2011, 06:17 PM | #24 | |
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Oh I do love it. I emailed my scheduler and asked if I could compromise and be home more. Awaiting response from her. Everytime I come home, he asks me not to leave. He has a strong bond with me, as I'm the only one that's ever really cared about him. His dad and stepmom treated him poorly, as they had 5 other kids. I love him too. I'm kinda like the "dad" he never had. We have a lot of fun together. Her daughter is staying with us for a month until she recovers 100% from the neck surgery she had this morning. That way I don't have to take the whole month off. Thanks for your input I feel better already. |
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09-12-2011, 06:28 PM | #25 | |
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She rode with me in the truck for about 4 years. We had a great time together. We would unload the trailers together and make extra money doing it. We had some amazing experiences together that's for sure. Getting stuck in snowstorms, hunkering down with bad weather, going to the beach a LOT...even seeing her family...It was hard at first with the truck payment and working for a really TERRIBLE company, but now it's paid off and the company I haul for is really AWESOME. They are a great bunch of people and I wouldn't ask for more understanding people. I have taken the kids for rides before...they would play with the CB, LOL...fun times.....Thanks for sharing your experiences..... |
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09-12-2011, 06:29 PM | #26 |
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I've been alone with no one to talk to for years, and a friend introduced me to this sight the other day...I'm SO thankful..I've needed this for SO long.
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09-12-2011, 07:27 PM | #27 |
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Questions for ME come up like...
~Do you have a retirement plan? Can you grow one on $750 a week and meet your retirement goals (or any other goals for that matter) ~What's your liquidity? ~How long have you two been together? ~Is a decision at this young age going to be regrettable when you are older? ~Are you doing what you love? ~Etc Etc Etc..... I am a lot older than you are... and have had a lot of GF's who wanted me to do things... to help them feel better about themselves. I am married to someone now... who wants me to do things that make me feel better about myself... (and vice versa). I serve on three Boards, several committees, being asked to serve on a fourth, own my own business, am a community activist, have many friends who I spend time with (both with my wife and without)... My life is FULL... and I don't see my wife enough. But I also know we would be miserable if she asked me to be anything other than what I am... and if I asked her to be anything other than what she is... SHE, BTW, has a full time job as a Family Nurse Practitioner, teaches young RN's on the side, is studying for her doctoral degree, serves on some Board committee's, and is training for a half marathon... We REALLY don't see each other as much as we want to... and we are HAPPY... because we are both pursuing what we love with the full support and encouragement of the other.... Just another way to look at it...
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09-12-2011, 07:53 PM | #28 |
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morningstar?
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09-12-2011, 08:00 PM | #29 |
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I'm kinda jealous. Sometimes I think I should have started driving.
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09-12-2011, 08:01 PM | #30 | |
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Oh, wait, that's me.
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09-12-2011, 08:05 PM | #31 | |
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Or at least I was until I sold my car and my DL expired (and was expired for YEARS before I realised it was) Now I'm not allowed to drive anything other than people. Crazy.
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09-12-2011, 08:50 PM | #32 |
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09-12-2011, 08:52 PM | #33 |
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09-12-2011, 08:52 PM | #34 |
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09-12-2011, 09:09 PM | #35 |
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My dad actually rolled his truck in winnipeg one winter. That's why he doesn't drive any more, he fucked up his back pretty bad and can't take the "bouncing" any more.
So yeah. Fun until someone gets hurt.
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09-12-2011, 11:02 PM | #36 |
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Hey Chrome, thanks for sharing your story. I can see why it would be hard to replace you in your business, but maybe you can work on getting more flexible hours and/or work on finding someone you trust to share part of the driving so you can spend more time at home. Anyway, best wishes to you, congrats on your accomplishments and welcome to BFP.
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09-12-2011, 11:27 PM | #37 |
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omg, you are 29 and young enuf to sit at home and give the girl a few years. Your truck isnt going to disappear. Do what you want to do with your girl, then go back to OTR driving again if you want. Jeez, I was thinking you were in your 40s and strapped in because of age and all the demands that go with that.
Most people are still trying to find love or a career at your age. You have both. Please yourself and indulge in some recreational years. Life wont go away, and you can make money later on...
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09-12-2011, 11:48 PM | #38 |
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Budget time
Chrome,
First of all, welcome to the Planet. I hope you are finding some useful information here. I tend to agree with Julie in that you need to complete a written budget of all the money coming in and all the money going out...making sure to include EVERY dime spent, say for a month. You can create a budget beginning with a starting income of what you make now and another budget of $750 a week to compare. Keep a running tally of all bills, shopping, eating out, savings, etc. See what the difference looks like on paper. You don't want to compromise your savings. Suzy Orman, a well known financial advisor, and others, suggests a three months worth of income saved up in case of emergency. This particular savings is separate from any other savings account that you might have because you don't touch it unless you need it for an emergency like a lost job. I hope this helps.
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09-13-2011, 08:04 AM | #39 | |
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09-13-2011, 08:24 AM | #40 |
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I saw where you mentioned about going back to college. Now that there is a child in the picture have you given any thought to their continuing education and how that's going to be paid for? College sure isn't cheap these days. Are you going to be contributing to his/her college fund? Is his/her mother going to be solely responsible for that? That has to be figured into the equation as well. Also, being the child is 13 and will be going into high school (if not already there), what if he/she wants to participate in sports, in some kind of clubs, that's all expense that needs to be figured into the equation as well. You now have the added expense of clothes for the child, food, your household utility bills will be rising with a 3rd person, etcetcetc. I wouldn't cut my hours or income until the mother is gainfully employed as well and contributing to household funds, college funds, etcetcetc. In this economy it may take her a while to find a job that will allow her to contribute in a meaningful way. Just don't cut off your nose to spite your face as they say.
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