What every Femme should know...

[JustJo]

What every femme should know...

...who you are is just fine.

...it's perfectly okay to choose to be alone....in fact, sometimes that's the best choice....for awhile or forever.

...you get to make your own choices....and so do your friends, your family and your partner.

...it's perfectly okay to choose to be coupled....and it's your choice who you do that with.

...you do not need the approval of others to be who you are.

...and finally, you really don't have to pay a plumber $200 to replace the flapper in the toilet....it truly isn't that hard to do.

...you are more resourceful than you may think you are.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by grenade

Nothing is absolute or applies to everyone. The sentiment behind this was sweet. Thanks for sharing.

The sentiment is sweet nonetheless as a Femme I *have* to speak up, lately there have been discussions in this forum about caution, care, duplicity, red flags. It's very easy for people to get swept up with romantic ideals, fantasies and realities get pushed aside..

I would rather educate my fellow community of Femme's of the things they ALREADY are, hearing them from a butch/guy/boi/boy shouldn't make them more valuable than what we see, feel, think and are...


Poetry like this is not the reality that happens to women, we're much more than fluff us Femme's so therefore I feel as a Femme that IS what we should know..

We are what we are because we make it so, NO ONE has control of that my loins don't control my destinies, fantasies, journey's Gender....

[Julie]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

The sentiment is sweet nonetheless as a Femme I *have* to speak up, lately there have been discussions in this forum about caution, care, duplicity, red flags. It's very easy for people to get swept up with romantic ideals, fantasies and realities get pushed aside..

I would rather educate my fellow community of Femme's of the things the ALREADY are, hearing them from a butch/guy/boi/boy shouldn't make them more valuable than what we see, feel, think and are...


Poetry like this is not the reality that happens to women, we're much more than fluff us Femme's so therefore I feel as a Femme that IS what we should know..

We are what we are because we make it so, NO ONE has control of that my loins don't control my destinies, fantasies, journey's Gender....

You are so right Snow...
And in part, this is what being FEMME is about.
We call out the bullshit and we take care of our Femme Sisters.
We make sure they are not swindled or taken advantage of.

And sometimes... We have to blow up the fairy tale, just to keep them safe.

Julie who is so proud and honored to call you Sister.

[grenade]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

The sentiment is sweet nonetheless as a Femme I *have* to speak up, lately there have been discussions in this forum about caution, care, duplicity, red flags. It's very easy for people to get swept up with romantic ideals, fantasies and realities get pushed aside..

I would rather educate my fellow community of Femme's of the things they ALREADY are, hearing them from a butch/guy/boi/boy shouldn't make them more valuable than what we see, feel, think and are...


Poetry like this is not the reality that happens to women, we're much more than fluff us Femme's so therefore I feel as a Femme that IS what we should know..

We are what we are because we make it so, NO ONE has control of that my loins don't control my destinies, fantasies, journey's Gender....

and you can not speak for all femmes any more than I can, or the original poster. A lot of femmes might read this and swoon. Are they wrong in feeling this type of adoration meets certain desires and needs they might have? It might be more accurate for a person to read this and say not me. I am not THAT femme.

[Dude]

speaking of needs

wanting someone is hot
needing someone is not

huge difference

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by grenade

and you can not speak for all femmes any more than I can, or the original poster. A lot of femmes might read this and swoon. Are they wrong in feeling this type of adoration meets certain desires and needs they might have? It might be more accurate for a person to read this and say not me. I am not THAT femme.

Grenade, I did NOT say that anyone was wrong, I am putting it out there that Femme's have other options, that they DON'T need to validate who they are via a butch/guy/boy/boi.

The title of this thread is

"What EVERY Femme should know"


So therefore since I am Femme I decided to speak not for EVERY Femme but for ALL Femmes especially those of us who do not fall into the heteronormative/mysoginist traps of relationships....

So what EVERY Femme should know is:

She can be the one in charge and not have ANYONE remind her how much the fucking movies cost... I found that to be pretty fucking gross not romantic hence why I spoke up because as a Femme it's insulting...

[Julie]

Originally Posted by grenade

and you can not speak for all femmes any more than I can, or the original poster. A lot of femmes might read this and swoon. Are they wrong in feeling this type of adoration meets certain desires and needs they might have? It might be more accurate for a person to read this and say not me. I am not THAT femme.

I am responding... Though the question was posed to Snow.

No, they are not wrong for feeling this way. It does make me a bit sad for those Femme's out there, that get their self worth from being loved and adored by a butch and who feel worshiped by a $30 movie.

The title of this thread is "What every Femme should know..."

Personally... I am just sharing my personal wisdom, as are some of the other posters. My personal stuff. Just in case there are some femme's out there, who never experienced the other side. Self worth.

Julie

[Estella]

With all due respect to the original poster, there's something slightly repellent about a butch telling femmes what we should know. My mother told me what I should know ... the rest I figured out the hard way, or learned from other brilliant, brave, beautiful Femmes.

[Tawse]

I just want to say I'd find it very creepy if I went to the movie with someone and they stared at me the whole time.

Would prolly be the last date...

[JustJo]

Originally Posted by JistMe

Someone out there was meant to be the love of your life... your best friend; your soul mate.
He'll brush the hair out of your eyes, and send you flowers when you least expect it.
He'll stare at you during the movies, even though he paid $30 to see it.
He'll call you to tell you goodnight, or just because he is missing you.
He will call you right back when you hang up on him.
He'll lay with you under the stars listening to your heartbeat... or stay awake all night just to watch you sleep.
He'll kiss your forehead for no reason, and hold your hand in front of your Dad. He'll say you are just as beautiful without makeup on, and show you off to the world when you're in sweats.
He will constantly remind you how lucky he is to have you.
He'll look in your eyes and tell you that you are the most beautiful woman in the world, and for the first time in your life... you'll believe it.
You will know when you find him ---
He will be the one who turns to his friends, and says...
"Thats her..."

So....I wanted to pop back in...and say that I, too, appreciate this sentiment posted by JistMe. I think many of us want to feel that rush of romance....of adoration....of being swept off our feet.

Nothing wrong with that in my book.

I think, for me, where it stops is when this (above) is supposed to be all I am...the recipient of adoration.

Don't get me wrong....I like adoration. I want to feel that. I want adoration and love and dedication and faithfulness and passion and romance and all those wonderful sweet things that are the nectar of life.

It's just that there's so much more that I want.

I want to be respected for my strength, and my intelligence and my resourcefulness. I want to be protected when I feel vulnerable, and be the protective mama-bear when that's needed.

I want to be partners....in the real sense of the word. I want us to talk together, decide together, work together towards our goals.

I am not baggage. I do not want to be carried.

I am not an idol. I do not want to be worshipped.

I am not perfect....and neither are you. I want us to be perfectly imperfect together....for us each to step forward when it's a strength for us, and to allow the other to step forward when we are weak.

And, yes, if you stay up all night watching me sleep or stare at me through an entire movie....I'm gonna be creeped out.

[*Anya*]

Femmes...

...come in all shapes, sizes and shades

...fall in love or lust or both with her, girls, bois, boys, him or hym

...fall in love, lust or both, with stones or switches

...we, ourselves, are stones or switches

...can feel strong at times as well as weak

...can take care of ourselves and at the same time, sometimes, may feel the need to be taken care of

...can be fiercely independent but sometimes feel very dependent

...can have long, flowing locks or short, spiky ones

...are moms and are child-free

...love high-heels and hate high-heels

...are free to define who and what we are

...because we are Femme

[Chancie]

Originally Posted by Fenchurch

With all due respect to the original poster, there's something slightly repellent about a butch telling femmes what we should know. My mother told me what I should know ... the rest I figured out the hard way, or learned from other brilliant, brave, beautiful Femmes.

I feel the same way.

I appreciate Pete's love and support, but

My mother was a feminist and

She encouraged me to go to grad school.

Pete could have used a mother like mine.

[Estella]

Every Femme should know what makes her happy. Unfortunately, this can take years of trial and error to figure out, but once you do it can be genuinely shocking to realize how much energy you wasted on things you thought were supposed to make you happy, but in fact were a colossal waste of time.

[starryeyes]

I thought it was very sweet, but it needs she pronouns to suit me

Originally Posted by JistMe

Someone out there was meant to be the love of your life... your best friend; your soul mate.
He'll brush the hair out of your eyes, and send you flowers when you least expect it.
He'll stare at you during the movies, even though he paid $30 to see it.
He'll call you to tell you goodnight, or just because he is missing you.
He will call you right back when you hang up on him.
He'll lay with you under the stars listening to your heartbeat... or stay awake all night just to watch you sleep.
He'll kiss your forehead for no reason, and hold your hand in front of your Dad. He'll say you are just as beautiful without makeup on, and show you off to the world when you're in sweats.
He will constantly remind you how lucky he is to have you.
He'll look in your eyes and tell you that you are the most beautiful woman in the world, and for the first time in your life... you'll believe it.
You will know when you find him ---
He will be the one who turns to his friends, and says...
"Thats her..."

[starryeyes]

Originally Posted by Tawse

I just want to say I'd find it very creepy if I went to the movie with someone and they stared at me the whole time.

Would prolly be the last date...

Lol!!!! :-)

[JAGG]

What every femme should know- truck drivers in semi's can see everything you are doing in your car, we can read the gum wrapper on the floorboard behind your seat. We can see everything. Everything! And yes when you pass by they ARE looking and you can bet you're being talked about on the CB. Thought you should know that.

[Estella]

Originally Posted by JAGG

What every femme should - truck drivers in semi's can see everything you are doing in your car, we can read the gum wrapper on the floorboard behind your seat. We can see everything. Everything! And yes when you pass by they ARE looking and you can bet you're being talked about on the CB. Thought you should know that.

Fair enough ... good to know.

[JAGG]

Originally Posted by Tawse

I just want to say I'd find it very creepy if I went to the movie with someone and they stared at me the whole time.

Would prolly be the last date...

What if they were blind in one eye, and had to turn their head a certain way to see the movie and it just appeared like they were starring at you the whole time ?lol

[Tawse]

Originally Posted by JAGG

What if they were blind in one eye, and had to turn their head a certain way to see the movie and it just appeared like they were starring at you the whole time ?lol

unless they were a fish I don't see why they'd have to do that... O.o

and i try not to date outside my species lol

[1QuirkyKiwi]

Originally Posted by apretty

You don't have to be a simpering idiot to meet and keep a good butch, and s/he's half-way decent s/he'll have some appropriate boundaries and won't be calling your ass back when you hang up on her--You'll then know you've found the one because s/he's got a backbone that keeps him/her strong during trips to the ER and Thanksgiving with your fucked-up family (where she might hold your hand, but most likely is too busy carving the turkey) and you'll be able to actually lean on her once in a while but guess what--She's going to require you to have some personal accountability and won't be staring at you slack-jawed during any of it.

Originally Posted by JAGG

I have read this poem before on a quote site. It didn't really do much for me. Because if she looks like the joker in sweats I'm going to tell her about it. I'd want her to tell me if I looked bad. Staying up all night watching someone sleep is very creepy. Maybe I'm not very romantic. But just because someone does all these things that doesn't make them the love of my life. I had a gf once who did those things and was cheating on me and stabbing me in the back every chance she got so.....

It was me that posted it on the quote thread….my reason for doing so, was to suggest a partner (however they identify) as gently loving and adoring their Femme in a positive way.

Sometimes it’s nice when your partner watches you sleep or you them; there’s a tenderness about it; a deeply loving trust.

No-one looks their best all the time, yet, your partner will think you’re beautiful to them anyway because they see all the facets that make their Femme who they are and some of the reasons they fell in love with them.

I appreciate something like this doesn’t stoke the fire for everyone, yet, for some, it’s nice to know they are adored in a gently loving way.

It still shouldn’t take away from any Femme what they need or should have; that’s for each of us to decide.