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04-05-2010, 07:33 AM
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#21 |
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Timed Out
Join Date: Feb 2010
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people being controled by other lmao
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04-05-2010, 08:55 AM
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#22 |
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Senior Member
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a very interesting day yesterday... so filled with stuff that I may need to sleep all day today to recover... and so many things CRACKED me up that I can't list them all right now... you'd get bored reading them all!
Mom drove me down to my sister's new Condo in Maryland for the first time... as she'd go around corners, she'd holler "HANG ON GIZZY!" (mom's dog in the back seat) Poor Gizzy would have to hang on for dear life and her long ears would go flopping around, one time she got tossed out of her little basket and I had to grab the "Oh Shit" bar! I thought we were only going down for an Easter Lunch and to drop off a few things.... At lunch my sister very firmly said "Oh, after we go to Lowe's and get back to the condo, I'm going to PUT YOU TO WORK!" (she knows how to push my buttons...cuz she knows I LOVE LOVE LOVE home-improvement projects!) She picked out the paint... "Apple Cider"... that she swears is a light tan with "a little spice"... When I started to "cut in" around the baseboards and door, the color CRACKED ME UP! I said "Annie, this is PEACH!" Of course she argued with me... "Annie, I swear this is PEACH!! Are you sure you want me to go on?"... she insisted it was okay and "when we get the whole wall done, it will look okay... it's just because it's next to the old gray stuff that makes it look that way." "BUT ANNIE, IT'S PEACH!!! then I mumble to myself... "good thing your nickname in school was Peachy!" Mom and Annie were squabbling the WHOLE time... nit-picking and fussing... but this is SO NORMAL for them. They were like two cats fighting over tuna!! So I get out my MP3 and headset..crank it up...and get blissfully busy painting... about an hour into my fun with the PEACHY walls, when I was up the ladder (which is WAY better than being "up the creek..."), Momma tugged on the cuff to my jeans. I nearly jumped outa my skin cuz I was so blissfully involved... I take my headset off, and she says "we were YELLING at you to come help Annie hang the chandelier"... I chuckled and responded "I'm sorry Momma, I had you and Annie on IGNORE!" On the way home, while hanging onto Gizzy and my OH SHIT bar through Baltimore highways, I get into a very intriguing, electrifying, LIGHT HEARTED, FUN text convo with a friend who LOVES to CRACK me up and go "toe to toe" with me joking around. I must admit, they gave me a running for my money yesterday! I think we have a silent running bet on which one can stumble up the other first? ... Momma kept askin "what are you two talking about, you're burning up that phone!" ... I promptly told her, while BLUSHING and grinning, "Momma, you remember the joke about my homemade Stuffed French Toast?..... "It's better than SEX!" ...the rest of the way home, she didn't ask again   But the whole time, I was thinkin' "GOD I hope she didn't see that!"...and I kept picturing blueberries and stuffed french toast!! Just as we get near home, we killed the phone battery!! My message to that friend... THANKS for keeping me sane and BUSY on the way home!! Because of you, I survived Momma's driving!! (and learned how to hold a Dime again!! ) 
Last edited by Kenna; 04-05-2010 at 09:04 AM. |
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04-05-2010, 10:31 AM
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#23 |
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Member
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Married ~ 4-1-13 Join Date: Nov 2009
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Hearing Theo this morning say "OH Myron .. what are you doing"?
What's Myron doing? Myron is hanging with his butt over the ledge, his body making odd moves and then he.........  .........Theos face  .......... ME  |
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04-05-2010, 10:41 AM
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#24 | |
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Senior Member
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Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
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I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
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Quote:
He was just thanking you for all those yummy crickets!!! |
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04-06-2010, 01:03 PM
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#25 |
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Senior Member
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I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
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What REALLY cracked me up today...
after being in Logistics/Warehouse Management for MANY years (and being a prude about organized materials).... My new boss's warehouse filing system cracked me up so bad I just had to take pictures and share...
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04-06-2010, 01:18 PM
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#26 |
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Infamous Member
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He Relationship Status:
once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! 
Join Date: Jan 2010
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Looks at above post and thinks your new boss needs some direction in lean manufacturing and 5S.
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04-06-2010, 01:31 PM
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#27 | |
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Senior Member
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I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
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Quote:
I am accustomed to a "shop" being messy...like my step-dad's old garage. But it looks like Blade and I would have our hands FULL trying to wade through their shop and clean things up!!! He's in need of Lean Manufacturing, indeed!! The other thing that CRACKED me up... I asked where his MSDS books were? He said "MSDS...MSDS...(squeezing his eyes shut and thinking...) I know that term... What does MSDS mean?" OMG!! All I did was smile and say "Material Safety Data Sheets...I take it you don't have a MSDS Book? Has OSHA paid you a visit? Last edited by Kenna; 04-06-2010 at 01:42 PM. |
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04-08-2010, 08:12 AM
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#28 |
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Senior Member
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I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
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Office Supplies...
So, I'm a new "office assistant" for someone in the home repair business. I was just cleaning off my desk and looking for scotch tape because he handed me a BUNCH of estimate papers all crumbled and torn. I've worked in and LOVE construction trades... "High Power Priss with Power Tools"... and I cracked up when I reached for my office tape and all I could find was black electrical tape!! That is SOOOOO me!! Don't ask me for a nail file or pretty polish to touch up your nails at work (I go to Joanne in the next cubical if I break a nail!)... but I've got black electrical tape, zip ties of every size, and power tools!! LMAO!! Time to make a trip to Staples for the see through kind of tape and paper clips... cause zip ties just won't do!! |
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04-08-2010, 08:40 AM
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#29 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
The original lime-twisted femme Preferred Pronoun?:
I answer to most things, especially lesbian. Relationship Status:
Still loving my Mare ;) 
 Join Date: Nov 2009
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This morning, Mare calls me to the kitchen window to witness a showdown between two neighborhood cats. One I know belongs to the neighbor across the street, and the other is a stray Mare has seen many times before.
Well, I turn to Mare and tell Her that if they start having at it, I'm going out there. (I really have issues seeing animals fight). Well, they started, and I bolted out of the door barefoot (I am not a go outside barefoot in the middle of the street too often person) with my mismatched pajama boxers and tee shirt ensemble - not to mention my divine morning hair. I run toward them, flailing my arms while trying not to yell 'too' loud (it was still pretty early in the morning). One cat bolts one way, the other, the other way - and afterwards - the neighbor's cat sits in front of his house staring straight at our house probably thinking "WTF was that with the crazy hair and is it coming back out?" Mare cracks up, I crack up, and I am hoping a few neighbors aren't cracking up because of it ... .gif "Say What?") (But it was pretty funny in a "had to be there" moment.)
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04-08-2010, 09:51 AM
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#30 |
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Member
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Me Relationship Status:
not here Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: somewhere
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Looking for my glasses and they were on top of my head!!
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04-08-2010, 11:00 AM
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#31 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
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I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
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How funny my dog looks when I shave him!!!
Anybody need some Willy Wool for their birdies to make their nests? (see gallery) |
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04-08-2010, 11:30 AM
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#32 |
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Member
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Butch Relationship Status:
Single
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Bob barking at the thunder and rain. I swear the dog would kick that storm's ass if he could catch it!!
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04-08-2010, 11:32 AM
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#33 |
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Member
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I'm easy Relationship Status:
She's some kind of wonderful. 
Join Date: Dec 2009
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Watching my roomie and his girlfriend do the "you stay on your side of the couch" we're actually 10 play slap fighting. *grin*
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"I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days."
-- Crash Davis, Bull Durham |
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04-08-2010, 11:49 AM
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#34 |
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Senior Member
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femme Relationship Status:
Married 
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All the kitties are outside sun bathing..
except our lil basement cat... He is sitting in the cool shadow of the house watching the others outside.. grin...
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~Volunteer~ "It gets in your blood" |
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04-08-2010, 03:04 PM
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#35 |
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Practically Lives Here
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Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM' 
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The image of Moby Dick being stuffed and mounted above Sweet's bed.
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04-08-2010, 03:21 PM
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#36 |
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Infamous Member
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Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird
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My internal... PHOOEY when I click on someone's pic gallery button and there are none!! I'm sooooo transparent, sometimes!!!
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04-17-2010, 05:57 PM
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#37 |
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Infamous Member
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femme Relationship Status:
attached Join Date: Dec 2009
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04-17-2010, 06:25 PM
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#38 | |
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Senior Member
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balls
Quote:
 "Receiving oral sex in the middle of a practice field, then ignoring orders to go to the office and going to class instead?"
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Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. - H. L. Mencken |
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04-17-2010, 06:32 PM
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#39 |
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Timed Out
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Unavailable 
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In Mass today, a somewhat bald guy tried to cover up his bald spot with 1 strand of hair. Please.  |
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04-17-2010, 07:02 PM
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#40 |
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Senior Member
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Completely in love Join Date: Nov 2009
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my little psycho kitty attacking a big ass dog. He jump, leaps in the air and grabs his leg, attempts to drag him across the floor but he's too big! So the dog reaches around the bite the kitty and the kitty clamps onto his nose hanging there as the dog yelps and tosses his head.
I wish i had a video of this
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You either like me or you don't. It took me Twenty-something years to learn how to love myself, I don't have that kinda time to convince somebody else.
~ Daniel Franzese |
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I'm misunderestimated. 
Linear Mode
