Ask a trans person!

[Corkey]

I'm just blunt, not much emotion attached to logic and theory, except if its personal, which this wasn't. I'm married so I came to the question in an educational and informative vein.
Dapper's right my bark is worse than my bite, unless one is on the receiving end of the bite.

[Ebon]

Originally Posted by sanee66

HI there all
I am new here but thought i would put in my two cents worth. I was with a biological women for 13 years who always considered herself a male. Male attitude, male things , strapped during lovemaking and all sorts of male energy. When she left me, i just about fell apart, but what i was wanting to say was that i toatlly get the post anout the male and female energies. That is wha i am searching for is the male energy and i have yet to find it where i am at or in anyone i hve met lol. It is so hard, you all hide really well and you cant come right out and ask someone, so do you identify as male and do you strap when lovemaking? so frustrating, and cant go bu looks these days either. Any help for me lol?

That would be frustrating. For the longest time I did not know where I fit into the community because I was attracted to femininity and the types of women that wore make up, high heels etc were hard to come by. They were either taken or straight. If I were you I would maybe find a queer group/church or bar if that's your scene close by and start meeting people.

[sanee66]

Hey no worries, just hard to express myself, and not always sure what different terms would mean. I grew up in a small town and moved close to Memphis about 7 years ago. Just started getting out last year at the local center and meeting other people and doing things with them. They are a great bunch of women and going there probably saved me since i was having a hard time personally when i first went. I just know that I miss that male energy I had been around for years and am still looking for it. Once again, sorry if i had offended anyone.

[Corkey]

We're a thick skinned bunch no worries.

[The Oopster]

Originally Posted by sanee66

Hey no worries, just hard to express myself, and not always sure what different terms would mean. I grew up in a small town and moved close to Memphis about 7 years ago. Just started getting out last year at the local center and meeting other people and doing things with them. They are a great bunch of women and going there probably saved me since i was having a hard time personally when i first went. I just know that I miss that male energy I had been around for years and am still looking for it. Once again, sorry if i had offended anyone.

http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/index.php?pageid=Reunion

I suggest if you live near memphis that you make plans to go to little rock in october for the reunion (above link) You'll find lots of the energy there!

[kannon]

Originally Posted by sanee66

HI there all
I am new here but thought i would put in my two cents worth. I was with a biological women for 13 years who always considered herself a male. Male attitude, male things , strapped during lovemaking and all sorts of male energy. When she left me, i just about fell apart, but what i was wanting to say was that i toatlly get the post anout the male and female energies. That is wha i am searching for is the male energy and i have yet to find it where i am at or in anyone i hve met lol. It is so hard, you all hide really well and you cant come right out and ask someone, so do you identify as male and do you strap when lovemaking? so frustrating, and cant go bu looks these days either. Any help for me lol?

I understand what you're saying about male energy. I display my own brand. I'm totally the opposite from Corkey. How I express myself sexually is a part of who I am. A reflection of my desires, power, vulnerability, thoughts, past experiences, etc. My behavior, whether its in the bedroom, at work,or at play is a part of me. I don't think that energy is necessarily something you see but feel. Be ready cause when it happens....Sparks!!!

[Reader]

Originally Posted by Linus

Rather than make it specific to FTMs or MTFs, figured one thread should suffice. So, all those embarrassing questions you wanted to ask but figured or knew were kinda impolite, ask here. No guarantees you'll get an answer but you can ask.

I am not trans in any way. It is very confusing, in certain ways, to me.

I have a few questions which some may either flame me for or feel are really ignorant (true) and offensive (trying not to be). I am posting here because I have faith that the title of this thread is genuine, and because I genuinely do not understand these particular aspects of the FTM culture...and I cannot think of a better place to ask than this thread.

I assure you that: 1. I AM ignorant, which is why I would like to ask and become more educated, 2. I am NOT intentionally trying to be divisive, critical or offensive (the opposite actually), and, 3. I am asking because I genuinely am interested in your various answers.

Here are my questions:

If you are an FTM, and consider yourself a man, ID as a man and live as a man:

1. Why do you wish to hang around with dykes?

2. Why are you interested in relationships with gay women as opposed to straight women?

3. How are you any different than any straight guy off the street, and why do you come here, to this site, which is for butch and femme lesbian women?

4. How do you think a straight man, who wished to join us here, would be received, in contrast to how you are received here?


Thanks in advance!

Also, it has been mentioned to me that I have a certain posting style and writing style, which are apparently different from other posters. I suppose this may be true.

However, as was accidentally misunderstood in another thread, I am NOT a Moderator, nor am I trying to impersonate a Moderator, nor am I trying to cause trouble to get the attention OF a Moderator.

I am simply and genuinely interested in understanding the FTM community more than I currently do. If you'd rather PM me, that would be great, as well.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Hunter Green

Here are my questions:

If you are an FTM, and consider yourself a man, ID as a man and live as a man:

3. How are you any different than any straight guy off the street, and why do you come here, to this site, which is for butch and femme lesbian women?

I am not FTM, I am TG. However, I am going to comment here, as I think my thoughts could be helpful to you.

1)There are people who define as a man, but not as male. I am thinking that you are meaning male when you say man. You may want to clarify that, so that you get answers from the group you want to hear from.

2)Additionally, are you only speaking to FTMs who are taking testosterone? I think that you might be. Again, you may want to clarify, as there are many people who define as transsexual or FTM who do are not on testosterone, yet in their hearts and minds live their lives as "male". They may or may not pass for male in society.

3) This site is not for butch and femme lesbian women. This site is for butches and femmes who may or may not define as lesbian. They also may or may not define as women. The site is also for queers (which include all sorts of genders/sexes), even though they do not have this in the title. The Admin have made this clear.

My sense of you Hunter (in general), is that you are genuine in your posts. I believe you to be genuine in your interest in this subject, here. I hope that others see this, as well.

I hope you get the answers you are seeking.

[Tawse]

Originally Posted by Hunter Green

3. How are you any different than any straight guy off the street, and why do you come here, to this site, which is for butch and femme lesbian women?

I'm not an FtM but I have my own personal answer for this one. I don't consider myself a "lesbian" and I don't consider my wife to be "lesbian" (nor does she).

I am queer. I am not a Woman - but rather somewhere between male and female and I happen to have a female body.

Gillian is not a lesbian because even though she IS a woman - she is in love with someone who is not and is sexually attracted to a wide spectrum on the "butch" scale - but not bio male. (to her bio males have a different energy than FtMs / Butches / Gender Queers)

So I would say that not even all of those who don't ID as FtM consider themselves Lesbians.

[Tawse]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

I am not FTM, I am TG. However, I am going to comment here, as I think my thoughts could be helpful to you.

1)There are people who define as a man, but not as male. I am thinking that you are meaning male when you say man. You may want to clarify that, so that you get answers from the group you want to hear from.

2)Additionally, are you only speaking to FTMs who are taking testosterone? I think that you might be. Again, you may want to clarify, as there are many people who define as transsexual or FTM who do are not on testosterone, yet in their hearts and minds live their lives as "male". They may or may not pass for male in society.

3) This site is not for butch and femme lesbian women. This site is for butches and femmes who may or may not define as lesbian. They also may or may not define as women. The site is also for queers (which include all sorts of genders/sexes), even though they do not have this in the title. The Admin have made this clear.

My sense of you Hunter (in general), is that you are genuine in your posts. I believe you to be genuine in your interest in this subject, here. I hope that others see this, as well.

I hope you get the answers you are seeking.

Or I could have waited a few minutes and just said "What Dapper Said"... lol

[DapperButch]

Hunter -

Originally Posted by Tawse

I'm not an FtM but I have my own personal answer for this one. I don't consider myself a "lesbian" and I don't consider my wife to be "lesbian" (nor does she).

I am queer. I am not a Woman - but rather somewhere between male and female and I happen to have a female body.

Gillian is not a lesbian because even though she IS a woman - she is in love with someone who is not and is sexually attracted to a wide spectrum on the "butch" scale - but not bio male. (to her bio males have a different energy than FtMs / Butches / Gender Queers)

So I would say that not even all of those who don't ID as FtM consider themselves Lesbians.

Hunter -

See? lol

I wrote my post b/c I was concerned that the responses you would receive is people wanting to clarify your language and such (kinda like me), and I am thinking that you don't want the discussion to go that way. We like to derail around here!

tawse, I echo your thoughts here!

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Tawse

Or I could have waited a few minutes and just said "What Dapper Said"... lol

Or I could have waited until you wrote your post! lol

[theoddz]

Okay, I'll bite.

Here's a little background on me, so you'll know exactly where my answers are coming from. Please don't read into my answers and take them for what another guy might say from his own experiences and/or perspective. I own only my own response.

I'm 50 years old, completely and legally transitioned (Female to Male), and some/most may also label me as "transexual". I've been on T (Testosterone) for nearly 5 years now and I began my physical, medical and legal transition at the age of 45. Before that, I ID'd as a Stone Butch, and before that, as a lesbian, but that was because that was the only thing I knew. It was the closest thing to "fitting" than the alternative, which was straight woman. I came out as a "gay woman" when I was 19 years old, amongst the rough and tough world of the Women Marines. We were probably what you'd call "dykes"....tough ones. Oh, and incidentally, I was a member here on these sites before I began medical/physical/legal transition, so a lot of the community here knew me before, when I ID'd as Stone Butch.....but not "female" ID'd.

Now for your questions:


1. Why do you wish to hang around with dykes? The dyke/queer world was my community before I transitioned, so why would they or the GLBTQ community at large, stop being my community?? I've had friendship, community and acceptance here, so I see no reason why I should leave.

2. Why are you interested in relationships with gay women as opposed to straight women? Who says I am interested in having a sexual/romantic relationship with a gay woman?? This is my community, not necessarily a "dating pool" for me. I don't look at it that way, but since you asked, the women I am attracted to, and who are attracted to guys like me tend to fall within the "Queer" spectrum and that may or may not overlap into different sexual orientations for these women. That's their business. I guess you'd have to ask some of the women of this community why they are attracted to men like me. I'm here for the community, not a hookup, or necessarily a relationship. This site is not gay/lesbian exclusive...it is "Queer". There are many women here who see me as the man I am and are attracted to me for just that.

3. How are you any different than any straight guy off the street, and why do you come here, to this site, which is for butch and femme lesbian women? My sexual orientation is Queer. My sexual orientation has nothing to do with my gender ID. Again, this site is also for Queer ID'd people. This site is ****NOT**** just for lesbian butch and femme women.

4. How do you think a straight man, who wished to join us here, would be received, in contrast to how you are received here? Probably much the same, I expect, and I would imagine that it would probably have much to do with how he would/might conduct himself. Respect is the key here. I don't think I've ever been disrespectful to any of the other members here and I can't say that anyone has ever been disrespectful to me. I think we all are looking for acceptance and community.

I hope that helps.

~Theo~

[julieisafemme]

I hope it is ok for me to respond here. I wanted to answer Theo's question about why a lesbian Femme would partner with a transman or TG Butch.

I am a lesbian Femme. I am a woman. I am partnered with a Transmasculine Butch who has transitioned. He does not use the descriptor FTM for his identity. I am attracted to queer masculinity. My partner has that. I have met some transmen who do not have a Butch feeling to them. So all I can tell you is that I am drawn to Butch energy in whatever form it may take. I could also partner with a female identified Butch. I met my partner and he and I clicked immediately. I fell in love with him, the person.

My partner does not identify as a lesbian. I do. I don't see any issue with that and I do not feel the need to change my identity. Queer probably defines me better because that encompasses his gender identity.

I have to agree with you Theo that this site is not only for lesbian Butches and Femmes. My partner is Butch. He is not a lesbian.

Originally Posted by theoddz

Okay, I'll bite.

Here's a little background on me, so you'll know exactly where my answers are coming from. Please don't read into my answers and take them for what another guy might say from his own experiences and/or perspective. I own only my own response.

I'm 50 years old, completely and legally transitioned (Female to Male), and some/most may also label me as "transexual". I've been on T (Testosterone) for nearly 5 years now and I began my physical, medical and legal transition at the age of 45. Before that, I ID'd as a Stone Butch, and before that, as a lesbian, but that was because that was the only thing I knew. It was the closest thing to "fitting" than the alternative, which was straight woman. I came out as a "gay woman" when I was 19 years old, amongst the rough and tough world of the Women Marines. We were probably what you'd call "dykes"....tough ones. Oh, and incidentally, I was a member here on these sites before I began medical/physical/legal transition, so a lot of the community here knew me before, when I ID'd as Stone Butch.....but not "female" ID'd.

Now for your questions:


1. Why do you wish to hang around with dykes? The dyke/queer world was my community before I transitioned, so why would they or the GLBTQ community at large, stop being my community?? I've had friendship, community and acceptance here, so I see no reason why I should leave.

2. Why are you interested in relationships with gay women as opposed to straight women? Who says I am interested in having a sexual/romantic relationship with a gay woman?? This is my community, not necessarily a "dating pool" for me. I don't look at it that way, but since you asked, the women I am attracted to, and who are attracted to guys like me tend to fall within the "Queer" spectrum and that may or may not overlap into different sexual orientations for these women. That's their business. I guess you'd have to ask some of the women of this community why they are attracted to men like me. I'm here for the community, not a hookup, or necessarily a relationship. This site is not gay/lesbian exclusive...it is "Queer". There are many women here who see me as the man I am and are attracted to me for just that.

3. How are you any different than any straight guy off the street, and why do you come here, to this site, which is for butch and femme lesbian women? My sexual orientation is Queer. My sexual orientation has nothing to do with my gender ID. Again, this site is also for Queer ID'd people. This site is ****NOT**** just for lesbian butch and femme women.

4. How do you think a straight man, who wished to join us here, would be received, in contrast to how you are received here? Probably much the same, I expect, and I would imagine that it would probably have much to do with how he would/might conduct himself. Respect is the key here. I don't think I've ever been disrespectful to any of the other members here and I can't say that anyone has ever been disrespectful to me. I think we all are looking for acceptance and community.

I hope that helps.

~Theo~

[Linus]

Originally Posted by Hunter Green;415315[B

][/B]

1. Why do you wish to hang around with dykes?

2. Why are you interested in relationships with gay women as opposed to straight women?

3. How are you any different than any straight guy off the street, and why do you come here, to this site, which is for butch and femme lesbian women?

4. How do you think a straight man, who wished to join us here, would be received, in contrast to how you are received here?

1. Much like Theo, this is my community that I've known and gotten comfortable with in the last 5 years. I have many friends who are butch or femme.

2. My g/f is a pansexual femme. We met when I first started transitioning. My attraction is to femme queer women.

3. I'm different in that my experience includes life perceived as a butch/tomboy and that I wasn't raised as a straight boy/man.

4. Welcomed as anyone. As admins have stated this site is beyond just B/F and open to everyone as long as we're respectful of the differences we have.

I think one of the things that is important to recognize is that this site is more than just butch/femme lesbians. That it includes queers, pansexuals, and more.

[EnderD_503]

Originally Posted by Hunter Green

[B][COLOR="Blue"]Here are my questions:

If you are an FTM, and consider yourself a man, ID as a man and live as a man:

And here's where the problem begins

Not everyone who is trans, who is born "female"-bodied or with XX chromosomes, who has "transitioned" to "male"-bodied or who is unable/does not want to "transition" (here meaning hormones, surgery etc.), but who identifies as male or transguy or any similar identity, considers themselves an FtM or even "a man." That is a huge problem when it comes to understanding the trans community. For myself, I use the label FtM only to find supportive environments (though, luckily, irl, simply "trans" is most often used so I never have to do the whole "FtM" thing in most places) where I might find like-minded people or people with similar experiences. But when it comes down to it I don't (and can't ever see myself) identify as Female-to-Male or as transsexual. I was born into a body that was assigned female, but as far as I'm concerned I've always been male in my mind. Some would even argue that because a person has always identified as male internally, that any body attached to them is technically male, even if it doesn't fit accepted physical definition (which seems to be changing, anyways). The more research is devoted towards trans people and the reality of their minds/bodies, and the exploration of sex differentiations beyond what is clearly visible, the more the binary appears to not be all encompassing. While male and female do exist, I don't see various trans folks and intersex folks falling into that binary, or at the very least seem to blur the lines fairly thoroughly.

When it comes to my own identity, yes, I consider male pronouns to be the correct pronouns, and the way I've always expected my body to turn out has always been male-bodied. But I've never considered myself female or a girl or a woman, and so as far as I'm concerned I have not, and do not continue to "transition" into anything, because I've always been and considered myself a male person even if I was never fully accepting or considered that way by others. I'm simply a different kind of male or perhaps simply a different kind of human being altogether.

1. Why do you wish to hang around with dykes?

Because I am only really attracted to queer women. I was assigned "female" at birth (which at times seems both a blessing and a curse, since I abhor the body I was born into, but on the other hand wouldn't have it any other way at this point, as far as what I've had to go through in order to be recognised as who I truly am. I would never give up my experience in the butch/femme community.) Many transguys began their journey to self-discovery and acceptance through the lesbian or queer female community, and I don't think they should have to give that up, or give up their primary attractions for the sake of labels.

2. Why are you interested in relationships with gay women as opposed to straight women?

I just want to correct here and say that I'm interested in relationships with queer women. If I meet a woman who identifies as a lesbian, but who I hit it off with, and who treats me with respect as a male identified butch and transguy and I respect her identity, in turn, then I see no problem with it if she doesn't. That is what I love about the LGBTQ community. We are not often as confined by labels and rigid binaries...though we can be if we want to be

And this comes down to part of the reason why I won't date straight women. I am not a trans individual who wants to be "stealth" or appear as a "normal hetero couple." Many lesbians or queer women seem to worry that when they date a transguy/trans male/butch/masculine identity that they will lose their visibility as a lesbian. Hell, I'm equally as worried about maintaining my visibility as a stone butch, queer, transguy general individual, and I would never want to be mistaken as a hetero couple, though I know that can happen at times. For me, many straight women are from a completely different reality than I am from, and there's really nothing for me or for them in that relationship.

I was initially drawn to the lesbian/queer woman community because I didn't know where else I fit, until I started to accept what I always knew. And in the end, it turned out I fit pretty well into that queer community at its most diverse. I wouldn't have discovered my identity and accepted myself without the lesbian/queer female/woman community. Today, it has more to do with what I've come to learn about many queer women over time. Queer women do not often follow the same rigid binaries (though they can), nor are they often interested in them (though they can be). They do not rely on a traditional dynamic (though, sometimes, they can), and in such a relationship neither of us need to be dominant or assumed to "lead" the relationship (though, when a woman/couple wants to, they can...and still be queer...the beauty of being queer, really). Queer women are very good at being reliant on themselves and having a good relationship with themselves, instead of being obsessed with being defined by their partner (unless they want to be). All these things I bring up may outwardly appear to be personality-driven, but to me it really comes out in the physical appearance and presence of an individual as well. I don't want a hetero relationship, with a woman who's interested in fancy black dress dinner parties and some trophy-wife/bread winner dynamic. I want a woman who's a queer activist, who is invested in "queerness" because it's a part of who she is. And with that "queerness" comes an understanding of the beauty of gender diversity. The understanding that, no, I don't want to be a "normal straight guy," but neither am I a female/woman. And I feel that's reciprocal. Someone who I can understand as consciously happy with their own identity as a woman and/or female and/or feminine, but who's identity as a woman/female/feminine individual is divorced from what she enjoys and what she wears and what she does.

I really don't know how to explain it any better than that. Other than the simple phrase of: "I don't want a heternormative relationship or hetero environment." Queerness isn't bound by what is "acceptable" or "traditional" or "respectable" or "normal." It's simply the dynamic two people create regardless of how they identify. Anyone who even identifies as straight would defy what I look for in a relationship simply by us being in a relationship together.

3. How are you any different than any straight guy off the street, and why do you come here, to this site, which is for butch and femme lesbian women?

Well, I was born into a different situation than the average straight guy off the street. I was assigned "female" at birth, though have never identified with that marker as long as I can remember. Though I've often abhorred that fate over the span of my life, at the same time it's given me experiences I would never want to give up, even for the most awesome set of cock & balls in the world It has also led me to understand myself as simply a different kind of male/guy/whatever. Probably the most important thing is that I'm queer and attracted to queer women (and most often, queer femme women). This community/the general b/f community outside this forum's context, even, isn't one I just randomly waltzed into.

Also, the butch/femme dynamic has not (even historically) been exclusively lesbian. Many butch/femme individuals identify as queer rather than lesbian. Transguys and trans individuals have been involved in the butch/femme community, most likely, since its inception. Or at least we, today, have occasionally heard the voices/words/echos of those who were around in the early days, who were trans-identified (or using modern terminology, anyway). It may not have been the norm, but it was present.

Lastly, butch and trans are not mutually exclusive. A transguy or trans-identified male/masculine identity can also identify as butch. Butch can mean many things, not only woman and lesbian, but third gender, genderqueer/fluid, trans, transmale etc. Just look at some of those who have posted in response to you already!

[/quote]4. How do you think a straight man, who wished to join us here, would be received, in contrast to how you are received here?[/quote]

Well, I think one of the key words there is: straight

Some here use straight to define their relationship/preference, but many use queer or gay or some other word to describe their relationship/preference. Is a straight, cis guy coming in with the same background and intent? A guy who has never been involved in the queer community in the least? I mean, I can understand lesbians or queer women occasionally even pairing with gay or queer men. It's not a completely foreign occurrence. But a random straight dude? I think there's a difference there. Or maybe that's just me.


Also thought I'd drop this link here. You may be interested in reading it, to better understand how some trans people see their sex/gender as beyond the usual binary.

http://tranarchism.com/2010/11/26/no...oms-trans-101/

Sorry for the long ass answer. I've never been good at keeping shit short and sweet, and tend to ramble a lot. Hope it answers your questions anyways. Also helps me to find better ways to explain myself to people in my day to day life, so thanks for asking these questions. It's served as a mental exercise for myself as well, as far as kind of putting myself into words and putting the community/communities I love so much into words. I never quite seem done with that sort of exploration.

[Ebon]

Originally Posted by Hunter Green

I am not trans in any way. It is very confusing, in certain ways, to me.

I have a few questions which some may either flame me for or feel are really ignorant (true) and offensive (trying not to be). I am posting here because I have faith that the title of this thread is genuine, and because I genuinely do not understand these particular aspects of the FTM culture...and I cannot think of a better place to ask than this thread.

I assure you that: 1. I AM ignorant, which is why I would like to ask and become more educated, 2. I am NOT intentionally trying to be divisive, critical or offensive (the opposite actually), and, 3. I am asking because I genuinely am interested in your various answers.

Here are my questions:

If you are an FTM, and consider yourself a man, ID as a man and live as a man:

1. Why do you wish to hang around with dykes?

2. Why are you interested in relationships with gay women as opposed to straight women?

3. How are you any different than any straight guy off the street, and why do you come here, to this site, which is for butch and femme lesbian women?

4. How do you think a straight man, who wished to join us here, would be received, in contrast to how you are received here?


Thanks in advance!

Also, it has been mentioned to me that I have a certain posting style and writing style, which are apparently different from other posters. I suppose this may be true.

However, as was accidentally misunderstood in another thread, I am NOT a Moderator, nor am I trying to impersonate a Moderator, nor am I trying to cause trouble to get the attention OF a Moderator.

I am simply and genuinely interested in understanding the FTM community more than I currently do. If you'd rather PM me, that would be great, as well.

1. Obviously to catch a glimpse of two of them making out.

2. See answer number 1.

3. I'm not any different. I'm here to see some action!!

4. Well since I'm not any different, see answer 3.

Real Answers (because Gemme said I had to lol)

1. Actually the real answer is I like nice positive people and some of them just happen to be dykes. Personally my friends come in all shapes, sizes, colors, gender identities and sexualities. Lot's of people in this big world.

2. We don't TRY to date lesbians or at least most of the transguys I know don't. I date people that I have a mutual attraction to. What they want to call themselves is up to them.

3. We are very different (well most of us anyway). We have experienced life with the whole world seeing us in a female identified body. Straight men have not. Everyone has been over the whole not just a lesbian website thing, ok we're good there.

4. I'm sure if he was cool he would be received as cool.


These questions and your perspective about this site are interesting because I've actually heard someone say with their outside of their head real voice say that when butches join the website they are expected to transition after a few months you know because it's something to do when get a wild hair up your ass. I hope that answered some of your questions.

[The Oopster]

Originally Posted by Hunter Green

Here are my questions:

If you are an FTM, and consider yourself a man, ID as a man and live as a man:

1. Why do you wish to hang around with dykes?

2. Why are you interested in relationships with gay women as opposed to straight women?

3. How are you any different than any straight guy off the street, and why do you come here, to this site, which is for butch and femme lesbian women?

4. How do you think a straight man, who wished to join us here, would be received, in contrast to how you are received here?


Thanks in advance!

1. I actually hang around with very few dykes per say. If I hang around with more than I realize it's because I tend not to categorize my friendships that way. I hang around people of all sizes, shapes, ethniticities, and who fit numerous categories.

2. I personally am not dating at this time. When the time is right I have stated many times that I hope not to limit myself to one specific area and thus maybe miss out on something terrific. I hope the same that when someone looks at me they don't throw me into a specific category and not give me a chance. I hope that a gay womans sole criteria for not dating me wouldn't because I identify as transgender. Likewise I hope that a straight womans sole crieteria for not dating me wouldn't be due to the fact I wasn't born with a penis. I hope that whoever dates me dates me for a lot more than that. That they can look beyond those things to the inner core of who I am. Likewise I hope to look beyond labels to the inner core of who someone else is.

3. Like others have stated before, this site isn't limited to just butch and femme lesbian women. Like many of they others even though down deep inside of me I always identified as male, I was unable to recognize that and claim that. Coming to that point was a process and this community was a part of that process. Fortunately when I came to this community there were other ftms and transmen on this and similiar sites. If they hadn't been here who knows how long it would have taken me to come to terms with who I am. To give back to the community I stay here for the same reason, that some other lost soul may have someone to identify with. If I would have had to gone to a transgendered or ftm site to find my people I may never have found them. Like others have shared what transgendered and ftm encompass is vast. I really don't claim the ftm label but like someone else stated I come to this thread and frequent that community because it's the closest match to who I am. I identify as a tranny guy or transmale. To many outside the community that looks the same, and so that label sometimes gets thrown on me or sometimes I take it out of laziness because it's the closest thing out there that those outside the community may understand or have heard of.

4. It's actually hard to imagine a straight male coming to this site unless they have some history with this community. Chances are they have some interest. Maybe it's to educate themselves, maybe it's just to cause problems, maybe it's just to perv. Hopefully this community would be welcoming if the person is considerate and respectful of the site and the people on it. But unless it happens people can only say how they think and hope people would respond.

[apretty]

This is strange, I've seen you around different butch/femme sites for years (using different screenames) and I can't understand how you suddenly have a few questions regarding WHY trans people are in queer space.

Further, these are all the same questions that gate-keepers ask when they want to keep trans-people out of "their space".

Your post is creepy and does NOT seem genuine, or from good place, at all.

Originally Posted by Hunter Green

1. Why do you wish to hang around with dykes?

2. Why are you interested in relationships with gay women as opposed to straight women?

3. How are you any different than any straight guy off the street, and why do you come here, to this site, which is for butch and femme lesbian women?

4. How do you think a straight man, who wished to join us here, would be received, in contrast to how you are received here?

[CrankyOldGuy]

Originally Posted by apretty

This is strange, I've seen you around different butch/femme sites for years (using different screenames) and I can't understand how you suddenly have a few questions regarding WHY trans people are in queer space.

Further, these are all the same questions that gate-keepers ask when they want to keep trans-people out of "their space".

Your post is creepy and does NOT seem genuine, or from good place, at all.

Amen Sister!