Ask a trans person!

[Nadeest]

I'm so glad for you, Linus, that you have an employer that is looking out for their employees as well as their customers. I hope that I get a job with a company like that.

[Liam]

What have you guys done with all of your old photographs?

[Nadeest]

For good or bad, they are part of my life, so I have kept them. I seldom show them to other people, however. Generally, I might show them to close friends or to show someone that is considering transition just how much that a person can change, physically, over the course of transition.

[theoddz]

Originally Posted by Liam

What have you guys done with all of your old photographs?

I have my old photos and I keep them. I don't think I show them to other people more or less than anyone else probably shows their old photos to others. I don't live my life, necessarily, in "stealth" mode, but that's because it's really not an issue, for the most part. I don't bring up the fact that I'm trans, as a general policy, and most people don't notice it and/or bring it up, in the course of everyday living. I guess I'm just not that uptight about it, for lack of a better word.

I am not hesitant to reveal or desirous of hiding my former (female-bodied) life. I am extremely proud of the fact that I served as a Woman Marine, and one of my pictures from that period in my life is displayed here in my gallery, as are several other pics from various times in my life, as well as a more recent picture. Like I said, it's just not that much of an issue. It is what it is. I think that only once....and it's been very recently, has anyone ever asked me what my previous (female) given name was, and I refused to answer. I figure it's none of anyone's business what that was and is totally irrelevent now.

I think everyone is different, for the most part. I lived most of my 51 years in my birth-assigned gender, and I'm not ashamed or wanting to hide that. It's in my past but is something I take with me.....a part of who I am. Sometimes it is the better part of me. It makes me a better man. Everyone is different, however, and I'm sure there are many other transfolk out there who feel differently than I do. That's what makes us unique, as human beings.

~Theo~

[Jaques]

Originally Posted by theoddz

I have my old photos and I keep them. I don't think I show them to other people more or less than anyone else probably shows their old photos to others. I don't live my life, necessarily, in "stealth" mode, but that's because it's really not an issue, for the most part. I don't bring up the fact that I'm trans, as a general policy, and most people don't notice it and/or bring it up, in the course of everyday living. I guess I'm just not that uptight about it, for lack of a better word.

I am not hesitant to reveal or desirous of hiding my former (female-bodied) life. I am extremely proud of the fact that I served as a Woman Marine, and one of my pictures from that period in my life is displayed here in my gallery, as are several other pics from various times in my life, as well as a more recent picture. Like I said, it's just not that much of an issue. It is what it is. I think that only once....and it's been very recently, has anyone ever asked me what my previous (female) given name was, and I refused to answer. I figure it's none of anyone's business what that was and is totally irrelevent now.

I think everyone is different, for the most part. I lived most of my 51 years in my birth-assigned gender, and I'm not ashamed or wanting to hide that. It's in my past but is something I take with me.....a part of who I am. Sometimes it is the better part of me. It makes me a better man. Everyone is different, however, and I'm sure there are many other transfolk out there who feel differently than I do. That's what makes us unique, as human beings.

~Theo~

i feel pretty much the same, i dont live stealth either, but if anyone wants to know i have no problem with that, im older than you, came out in the late 90's and transitioned 6 yrs ago - is it an age thing - i.e. as we get older and have lived most of our life in our birth gender,seen and been through a lot in life - it can seem less important than maybe to a younger person?

[Joe Mario]

Interesting topic, fellahs. My stealth/ out status is tricky due to my occupation. As a professional working in an office with
(non-pro) office staff involving servicing the (general) public, I don't want my status known there primarily for the (obvious) safety reasons. The idea doesn't make me feel safe and it's, as Theo said; 'none of anyone's business'.


This could change if the public could see the value in our unique perspective. A cis-gendered bio-male could never, ever have our insight or perspective. Ever. How we see ourselves first comes from us as a community, then it projects outward to the mainstream public. Thankfully there are single individuals out there helping us along. We still have a long way to go, but I am full of hope.


I was 46 when I decided to do this. My adult life has been in the LGBTQ social culture where I am out. Having achieved most things I am proud of before transitioning, I don't wish at all to 'erase' that part of my life. In fact, achieving them in a non-transitioned, non-cisgendered state makes me feel like a super dude among men, so I am definitely keeping the photos!

Am still balancing out how I feel completely about the whole stealth/ out issue. Permissions with my family's friends can be tricky, but am out with LGBTQ Communities. People come in all sorts and rub us all differently and my status is MY very personal business. Ultimately, I feel like the default for disclosure should be my choice.

[Liam]

Originally Posted by Jaques

i feel pretty much the same, i dont live stealth either, but if anyone wants to know i have no problem with that, im older than you, came out in the late 90's and transitioned 6 yrs ago - is it an age thing - i.e. as we get older and have lived most of our life in our birth gender,seen and been through a lot in life - it can seem less important than maybe to a younger person?

I'm not sure that it is an age thing, since I have photographs older than Theo.

[The Oopster]

Originally Posted by The Oopster

They possibly could but the only people the would hear it from would be my parents and I just don't see my parents having said anything because they are pretty private.

Certain people get passes on the pronouns and name game, that's really not an issue for me, I just really try to be sensitive to the other people involved and the best way to deal with it for them. Some of my other relatives I would definitely deal with it before hand but this side of the family is pretty laid back.

so I saw my aunt, uncle and cousin recently and the whole situation was sort of cute.

The night before i went over to see them I was talking to my aunt and I started to say well there is something you need to know ... She said "Hun it's okay, your dad sent us an email. Barry(her son) keeps telling me to watch my pronouns.

She did her best ... it was funny cause my uncle who just had some issues where his thinking process was impaired didn't miss a single pronoun and I could tell that he was proud of that fact!

When I was leaving my cousins ... my cousin paused ... stared at me and said "damn you look like your dad!"

i knew they'd be good and it's nice to have some of the family that now knows. Don't know what will ever happen with my moms side but i'll cross that bridge if it ever comes!

[The Oopster]

Originally Posted by Liam

What have you guys done with all of your old photographs?

I'm actually in a process of taking all my old photographs some that I am in and some that I am not in and scanning them into my computer.

I hope to make some themed murals with them to display in my hallway.

I'm not sure what I am going to do with the ones that i am in yet. I'm going to leave those for last! If nothing else I will probably make something then decide whether or not to display. I figure when i get to that point I will know what is right for me. At this moment it would be weird, but by the time I get there and maybe in the manner that I display them it might be okay.

I do have some albums and my yearbook out but really not anywhere that someone is going to grab them and look at them.

Some of my not displaying them has to do with others reactions but the other part has to do with me. It's just weird to see them. It's a different person that I am so disconnected from and even though it's a part of my past it's weird to look at this person that existed yet didn't exist.

[Nadeest]

I'm glad that things went well with your family.

[pajama]

Does the shaving cream make more of a difference than the razor? Okay, so I've always used the cheap stripped can shaving cream. But I use expensive disposable 5-blade razors and still don't get the shave I would like. Do those shaving creams that blah blah about smoother shave, lifts hair, blah blah really help?

Thanks gentlemen.
A

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by pajara

Does the shaving cream make more of a difference than the razor? Okay, so I've always used the cheap stripped can shaving cream. But I use expensive disposable 5-blade razors and still don't get the shave I would like. Do those shaving creams that blah blah about smoother shave, lifts hair, blah blah really help?

Thanks gentlemen.
A

I don't know about that, pajara; but I do know that washing with hot water (or do the hot towel thing like they do in salons/barbershops) opens the pores and softens the hair for a closer shave.

[Nadeest]

The shaving creams can certainly help, however, putting a hot damp washcloth on one's face, immediately before shaving really helps a lot. To my mind, the shaving creams help protect the face, and give you a smoother shave by providing lubrication for the razor's movement across your face.

For many years before I transitioned, I could not use shaving creams due to problems with my body. Just putting a hot wet washcloth over my face for a few minutes, prior to shaving, did the trick for me, in giving me a close shave.

[pajama]

Thank y'all. Well that was easy. I'll give it a try.

[Jesse]

What they said, and a sharp blade!

[justkim]

Exfoliate, Exfoliate, and Exfoliate again. It helps to remove the dead/dry skin that builds up. I use a puff thingy and Aveeno has a great exfoliating cleansers. This can be used on whatever you are shaving.
I use my Aveeno every other day and it makes for soft skin and a closer shave. Also not letting your razor sit in the shower and stay wet keeps the edge longer. Good luck!

Originally Posted by pajara

Does the shaving cream make more of a difference than the razor? Okay, so I've always used the cheap stripped can shaving cream. But I use expensive disposable 5-blade razors and still don't get the shave I would like. Do those shaving creams that blah blah about smoother shave, lifts hair, blah blah really help?

Thanks gentlemen.
A

[Liam]

Originally Posted by pajara

Does the shaving cream make more of a difference than the razor? Okay, so I've always used the cheap stripped can shaving cream. But I use expensive disposable 5-blade razors and still don't get the shave I would like. Do those shaving creams that blah blah about smoother shave, lifts hair, blah blah really help?

Thanks gentlemen.
A

I have found the best shaving "cream" to be the old fashioned round of soap that sits in the bottom of a mug and requires a brush to apply. As for razors, I have discovered that a straight edge razor, yet another old fashioned item, gives me the closest shave yet. The ritual of sharpening with a stone, and then using the leather strop to tweak the edge, do not lend themselves to hurried mornings, but the results are most satisfying.

[pajama]

Originally Posted by Liam

I have found the best shaving "cream" to be the old fashioned round of soap that sits in the bottom of a mug and requires a brush to apply. As for razors, I have discovered that a straight edge razor, yet another old fashioned item, gives me the closest shave yet. The ritual of sharpening with a stone, and then using the leather strop to tweak the edge, do not lend themselves to hurried mornings, but the results are most satisfying.

I could definetly do the mug/soap. But for the life of me I have never been able to sharpen a darn thing on anything. If I could keep it sharp, I would learn how to use a straight razor. I think their sexy as hell. Will you be at Reunion? Maybe you could offer a seminar. Admission, a cigar?

Thank you!
A

[Corkey]

I use shave oil (almond) with a hot towel first, after a shower, with Casswell-Massey almond shave soap with a badger bristle brush. Followed by a cooling after shave and Neutrogenia for men moisturizer with spf. I use Gillette Quatro razor.


A good close shave takes time.

[Linus]

I've been contemplating bottom surgery. At the very least a hysto and metoidioplasty but was curious what others have considered or have had done. PMs welcomed if that is more comfortable for you.

What I'm curious/concerned about are:

• costs (this is why I've ruled out phalloplasty)
• recovery time (metoi likely has the fastest recovery)
• ability to pee standing up without additional device.
• at what age did you do this