Butches and Body Image - Let's Talk About It

[Queerasfck]

Originally Posted by Parker

I am not male ID'd or trans &/or trying to pass, so I wouldnt use the men's bathroom unless it was the only one available &/or it was some sort of a bathroom emergency .... I dont want to spend time in their stinky, nasty bathrooms unless I absolutely have to!

I try to avoid the use of any public restroom whenever possible. I have to say I do believe women's restrooms can be just as nasty and unsanitary as men's restrooms.

[clay]

Originally Posted by ~ocean

Us femmes have it soo easy , ((((((( hugs all of u butchs )))))))


your bodys r measured by a tailor (tailorette ) and ur mind is measured by ur soul : the soul is endless..

(((((((((((ocean)))))))))))))
Thanks for the hug...and your words....

[apretty]

Originally Posted by ~ocean

Us femmes have it soo easy , ((((((( hugs all of u butchs )))))))

it's not easy being femme, it's different but not easy.

[Parker]

Originally Posted by Queerasfck

I try to avoid the use of any public restroom whenever possible. I have to say I do believe women's restrooms can be just as nasty and unsanitary as men's restrooms.

True - especially when they make a mess on the seat.

But to me, men's are just nastier - maybe bc they miss the bowl a lot & their mess ends up on the floor - not sure, just how it feels to me. Maybe I've just been around some nasty mens.

[ButchEire]

Always been the opposite in my experience. Women's bathrooms are much dirtier than men's. What's weird to me is that I get how men "miss" the toilet but can't figure out how women can't hit the two pointer,lol.

Originally Posted by Parker

True - especially when they make a mess on the seat.

But to me, men's are just nastier - maybe bc they miss the bowl a lot & their mess ends up on the floor - not sure, just how it feels to me. Maybe I've just been around some nasty mens.

[girl_dee]

i personally like to take my butch into the same stall with me

[Parker]

Originally Posted by ButchEire

What's weird to me is that I get how men "miss" the toilet but can't figure out how women can't hit the two pointer,lol.

LOL

Probably from hovering over the bowl so as to avoid touching the seat and catching imaginary diseases.

[Okiebug61]

The 2003 International Building Code requires that all new construction and substantial renovation for public restrooms include a family, or unisex, bathroom. Most new, large venues such as malls, airports, and sports arenas, now include at least one type unisex bathroom in addition to men's and women's public restrooms. But not all states have adopted the codes. Planning construction or renovation? Check your local public restroom regulations.

[Dude]

I have encountered many a scared woman confused by me.
Security has been called ,etc.

The bottom line is they are reacting from a fear place and really
who can blame them for that.
Yes, they might become rude with their non thought out reactions
when encountering some of us but we get to think about our reactions
to them. They are women in a place that most times feels safe to them.

Never has my reaction or response been to show them what I have under my shirt.

I guess reading that response over and over through the years bugs
the shit out of me.
I get the hurt and the anger of being questioned but I dont get the threat of
flashing tits or anything else as a well thought out response.
They are surprised by us but we get to think about it.
Cut them some fucking slack already.

speaking as someone who's done some janitorial
work in the past
all people have the ability to be equally disgusting.
and men are not the only sex who enjoy some reading material either

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Parker

LOL

Probably from hovering over the bowl so as to avoid touching the seat and catching imaginary diseases.

Not so imaginary things are able to be caught, however. I totally get the hovering, but really wish they'd just use the damn toilet seat cover or, if there's not one, put tissue on the seat.

All bathrooms that don't have an attendant are icky.

[CherylNYC]

Originally Posted by Gemme

Not so imaginary things are able to be caught, however. I totally get the hovering, but really wish they'd just use the damn toilet seat cover or, if there's not one, put tissue on the seat.

All bathrooms that don't have an attendant are icky.

A friend once caught ringworm from a toilet seat. Just sayin'.

My aim is true.

[Okiebug61]

I'm curious to know where those who have had trouble using a public restroom live. I am in the only totally Red State and while there are and always will be issues. I have never seen these vicious things happen. It's totally disturbing and if nothing else knowing the locations will help me keep an open eye if I ever visit any of the said locations.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Parker

Probably from hovering over the bowl so as to avoid touching the seat and catching imaginary diseases.

Originally Posted by Gemme

Not so imaginary things are able to be caught, however. I totally get the hovering, but really wish they'd just use the damn toilet seat cover or, if there's not one, put tissue on the seat.

"If you sprinkle when you tingle, please be neat and wipe the seat".

- Sign humorously posted in Dapper's grandmother's bathroom.

[Parker]

Originally Posted by Okiebug61

I'm curious to know where those who have had trouble using a public restroom live. I am in the only totally Red State and while there are and always will be issues. I have never seen these vicious things happen. It's totally disturbing and if nothing else knowing the locations will help me keep an open eye if I ever visit any of the said locations.

I dont think it's limited to any specific locations - I've lived in a lot of different states (IL, OK, CO, CA, MS, WA) and driven through even more on my way to one place or another and I've encountered everything from stares, to shocked looks while they check the sign on the door, to stopping their friend or security to say loudly that "there's a man in there", to saying something directly to me, to physically trying to keep me from entering.


Also, the urge to lift one's shirt in an effort to be seen as the woman that you are is a natural urge. Would I have really done it? No, of course not. But the urge is still there because I belong there just as much as any woman does - it's my space too; and the fact that it's considered a safe space for feminine looking women but not masculine looking women is sad to me. That's really all I had on that issue.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Gemme

Not so imaginary things are able to be caught, however. I totally get the hovering, but really wish they'd just use the damn toilet seat cover or, if there's not one, put tissue on the seat.

All bathrooms that don't have an attendant are icky.

and what amazes me is the baby changing station.

Okie it doesn't matter where you are because narrow minded stupid people are everywhere. I've been with a butch twice when the bathroom thing happened.. once in Oregon and once in Alabama. Both times my partner was confronted by males who made snide comments about the butch being in the *wrong bathroom* as they exited or entered and in a completely confrontational manner.

[Okiebug61]

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

Okie it doesn't matter where you are because narrow minded stupid people are everywhere. I've been with a butch twice when the bathroom thing happened.. once in Oregon and once in Alabama. Both times my partner was confronted by males who made snide comments about the butch being in the *wrong bathroom* as they exited or entered and in a completely confrontational manner.

I was just curious. Being from Oklahoma we don't have a lot of positive things going on for our community. Red and I went see Melissa E a few years back and I saw more Lesbians in one place than I had seen in years. There were many hard core butches and I never once saw anyone having problems with the bathroom issue. Maybe I don't keep my eyes open well enough,for I would not stand by and let this happen If I were present. It just saddens me when someone has to be nervous, scared or anything else when they need to go to the bathroom.

[Dude]

I geuss for me, I dont take it so personal anymore.
Of course it's awkward and I'd prefer that it did not happen but
It's not really my issue how someone interprets my gender.
Showing someone proof of what I am is not a natural urge ,for me.

Let's say grandma and maybe your neice were in stalls 3 and 4 ,
someone enters bathroom who you read as male.
What would your response be to them?
Have I been offended and embaressed? yes ,of course
I had one lady peek over the stall even.

To me what is "totally disturbing" is being beaten because then
it is personal. I think it would be interesting to do a poll on the
areas in which this has happened to people.
I feel fortunate to have only once experienced some teenage
kids screaming queers out their window while walking with a girlfriend
down the street 20 years ago.

[apretty]

Originally Posted by Parker

...I belong there just as much as any woman does - it's my space too; and the fact that it's considered a safe space for feminine looking women but not masculine looking women is sad to me...

I don't think public restrooms are designated or designed as a safe space--In most cases they're designed to satisfy building codes and to be a place to relieve yourself as quickly as possible.

[Parker]

Originally Posted by apretty

I don't think public restrooms are designated or designed as a safe space--In most cases they're designed to satisfy building codes and to be a place to relieve yourself as quickly as possible.

I understand that - I was working off of & responding to the post that mentioned that - I probably should have quoted it but was being lazy.

[Toughy]

Like Okie if I am in NM or TX or OK or any of the ranch country I rarely get called Sir and rarely get the 'OMG a man is in our potty room'. I think the ques for woman are different in farm/ranch land......lots of masculine women who are straight in those parts of the world. Seeing a woman in work boots, cowboy boots, jeans, hats is not unusual.

Years back, I was in an airport and went into the ladies room. This woman followed me in yelling at me that this was the women's bathroom. I just ignored her and went into a stall. She started banging on the door to the stall................serious folks.....she started banging on the door. The banging stopped, I finished and washed my hands and went out the door. Well, a security guard was standing outside the door with this woman. He looked at me and asked why I went in the ladies room. I looked at him and said that I belonged in that bathroom and walked off. At least he didn't follow me after that. On the trip back in that same airport I went in the same ladies room and some woman looked at me and told me I was in the wrong bathroom. I looked at her and pulled up my shirt and showed her my tits (I haven't worn a bra since high school). she turned about 100 shades of red and started apologizing. I ignored her and did my business and left.

I get it once in a while at the VA, but it's usually if someone sees me from behind and when I turn around they apologize. Military folks also seem to have a different set of ques for women and are not likely to mistake me for a man.

I always wonder if they think I can't read and recognize the sign for women vs men. It never has made any sense to me. And if I am already in there...it's like I know the difference between the mens room and the ladies room............mens potty has urinals and the womens does not.

As to safety..............oh please it's a damn bathroom and what about MY safety to be able to walk in a bathroom without all that crap.

anyway.....I'm rambling..........