What Cracked You Up Today? - Page 78

A. Spectre · 07-23-2017, 05:10 AM

Jeffrey Beauregard Sessions as Granny is spot on! Cracked up so hard.....

CherryWine · 07-23-2017, 12:59 PM

Kenna · 07-24-2017, 08:09 PM

On his way to the truck, "come'ere, I need your help"
Me: What for??? I'm out here in my nightgown.
Him: So am I.
Me:

Well that's a post for what cracked me up today, you in a nightgown.

(watching him walk away from me in his shorts and sleeveless top.)

bright_arrow · 07-24-2017, 11:00 PM

Referring to a HUGE daddy long leg on the ceiling: "See baby, it's okay to have a second daddy in the house when I'm gone!"

Gayandgray · 07-25-2017, 02:04 PM

The reaction of the door-to-door salesman who came to my front door after he saw my 3 growling Boston Terriers thru the storm door window, and when he noticed the security camera and realized he was being videotaped. It was hilarious!! He grabbed his chest like he was having a heart attack and jumped back and started stuttering all over the place. He put his hands up to cover his face from the camera and tried to yell over my insanely loud, barking dogs about the "frozen food" he was selling. Why he didn't want his face to be seen on camera, I have no idea? But little does he know the security camera had already picked him up as he pulled in our driveway, and as he walked up the long, winding wheelchair ramp. His truck had no identification on it advertising frozen food. I told him politely we weren't interested and he hurried off.

homoe · 07-25-2017, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gayandgray

The reaction of the door-to-door salesman who came to my front door after he saw my 3 growling Boston Terriers thru the storm door window, and when he noticed the security camera and realized he was being videotaped. It was hilarious!! He grabbed his chest like he was having a heart attack and jumped back and started stuttering all over the place. He put his hands up to cover his face from the camera and tried to yell over my insanely loud, barking dogs about the "frozen food" he was selling. Why he didn't want his face to be seen on camera, I have no idea? But little does he know the security camera had already picked him up as he pulled in our driveway, and as he walked up the long, winding wheelchair ramp. His truck had no identification on it advertising frozen food. I told him politely we weren't interested and he hurried off.

OMG this cracked me up !!

anotherbutch · 07-25-2017, 08:04 PM

My daughter texting me to tell me she just caught my grandson (he's almost 3) dipping his head in the dogs water bowl so he could push his hair up and make a mohawk!!

Kenna · 07-26-2017, 08:27 PM

How utterly in love, obsessed, wildly crazy about, and totally head-over-paws Blade's chihuahua is for him. That poor dog's world would end if anything ever happened to Blade. I think the feeling is mutual between the two.

Orema · 08-02-2017, 11:35 AM

I received a care package today from Detroit with nothing but Cheetos in it.

I'll pay her back (and will have lots of fun) when I send her a birthday package full of silly and stupid things.

AmazonDC · 08-02-2017, 12:17 PM

When I walk into work and the mountain of work is crazy.. but My manager laughs and says you can do all that in one day right lol....bahahahahaha..

Blade · 08-03-2017, 05:18 AM

Trying to explain something to someone who is to stupid to have the job they have

Kenna · 08-04-2017, 08:23 PM

My goofball best friend talking about a water buffalo.

JDeere · 08-04-2017, 09:35 PM

That some people truly have the audacity to try and square up with me... you won't win, I don't back down, stop trying.

2qt · 08-04-2017, 11:36 PM

Slipping on my backside whilst holding a cup off coffee & not spilling a single drop..... Now that's dedication.... lol @ me.....

Blade · 08-05-2017, 01:47 PM

The Tractor Supply manager. I bought a battery operated pole saw. The box did not indicate if there was bar/chain oil in the box. Most items like this come with at least a small bottle.

I ask the cashier did she know if there was any in the box, she held the whole box up in the air, like she was doing a price check on a box of tampons, and yelled does this come with oil. The manager yelled back, it's electric, you don't need oil.

I glanced at the guy behind me and he was chuckling I began chuckling. To whom it may concern, even electric chain saws need bar/chain oil.

Kenna · 08-06-2017, 09:32 PM

Telling a friend about a mutual friend's fiasco involving two fishing rods, a bunch of tangled fishing line, a car trunk that was too small to fit the big fishing rod, one grandkid that had just about pushed his limit, two fish hooks....
and the end result of "Pap" with three holes in his hand (thanks to the kid yanking on the line as "Pap" was trying to untangle things), me running to get his pocket knife to free things up, then parts of the fishing poles in the trunk and other parts in the front seat, and a grandkid that was told to never bring fishing poles again....Pap was not a very happy Pap.
And telling this story to a friend that knows Pap well, and knows Pap never raises his voice or gets peeved with his grandkids.

CherryWine · 08-07-2017, 02:53 PM

An impromptu brainstorming session with my coworkers on how to stop the women at the new company on the 1st floor from coming to our 3rd floor restroom to "drop the kids off at the pool" all day every day...even though they have their own huge bathroom downstairs.

There were some pretty funny and creative ideas!

easygoingfemme · 08-19-2017, 11:40 AM

Shaking out my tent to air out from the last camping trip and seeing glitter start flying out of it.

CherryWine · 08-21-2017, 02:49 PM

Somebody please tell me that if he burns his eyes out, he can't be president anymore.

A. Spectre · 08-22-2017, 06:47 AM

07-23-2017, 05:10 AM	#1541
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,569 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,033 Thanked 11,054 Times in 1,494 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	Jeffrey Beauregard Sessions as Granny is spot on! Cracked up so hard..... __________________ * * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable

07-24-2017, 08:09 PM	#1543
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,193 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	My goofball roommate while we were outside.... On his way to the truck, "come'ere, I need your help" Me: What for??? I'm out here in my nightgown. Him: So am I. Me: Well that's a post for what cracked me up today, you in a nightgown. (watching him walk away from me in his shorts and sleeveless top.) __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

07-25-2017, 02:04 PM	#1545
Gayandgray Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme-ish, tomboy lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Together a really long time Join Date: Jan 2016 Location: In my mind? On a tropical island Posts: 4,860 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,584 Thanked 12,881 Times in 3,078 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	The reaction of the door-to-door salesman who came to my front door after he saw my 3 growling Boston Terriers thru the storm door window, and when he noticed the security camera and realized he was being videotaped. It was hilarious!! He grabbed his chest like he was having a heart attack and jumped back and started stuttering all over the place. He put his hands up to cover his face from the camera and tried to yell over my insanely loud, barking dogs about the "frozen food" he was selling. Why he didn't want his face to be seen on camera, I have no idea? But little does he know the security camera had already picked him up as he pulled in our driveway, and as he walked up the long, winding wheelchair ramp. His truck had no identification on it advertising frozen food. I told him politely we weren't interested and he hurried off. __________________

07-26-2017, 08:27 PM	#1548
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,193 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	How utterly in love, obsessed, wildly crazy about, and totally head-over-paws Blade's chihuahua is for him. That poor dog's world would end if anything ever happened to Blade. I think the feeling is mutual between the two. __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

08-02-2017, 11:35 AM	#1549
Orema Superlative Soul Sister How Do You Identify?: Lesbian Stone Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Moving in a single file Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Cottage of Content Posts: 13,477 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 41,415 Thanked 34,744 Times in 8,924 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	It's on ... I received a care package today from Detroit with nothing but Cheetos in it. I'll pay her back (and will have lots of fun) when I send her a birthday package full of silly and stupid things.

07-23-2017, 12:59 PM	#1542
CherryWine Senior Member How Do You Identify?: lesbian femme Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: The Deep South Posts: 2,491 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,060 Thanked 10,035 Times in 2,182 Posts Rep Power: 21474848

07-24-2017, 11:00 PM	#1544
bright_arrow ☆ the stars are aligned ☆ How Do You Identify?: one queer mama Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: married to my Boo Daddy <3 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: nor cal Posts: 2,910 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,644 Thanked 9,366 Times in 2,297 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Referring to a HUGE daddy long leg on the ceiling: "See baby, it's okay to have a second daddy in the house when I'm gone!"

07-25-2017, 08:04 PM	#1547
anotherbutch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single and very content this way... Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: the midwest Posts: 1,784 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 317 Thanked 1,299 Times in 366 Posts Rep Power: 9955620	My daughter texting me to tell me she just caught my grandson (he's almost 3) dipping his head in the dogs water bowl so he could push his hair up and make a mohawk!!

08-02-2017, 12:17 PM	#1550
AmazonDC Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: DC Join Date: Nov 2015 Location: colorado Posts: 499 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 346 Thanked 1,484 Times in 430 Posts Rep Power: 13453158	When I walk into work and the mountain of work is crazy.. but My manager laughs and says you can do all that in one day right lol....bahahahahaha..

08-03-2017, 05:18 AM	#1551
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,418 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Trying to explain something to someone who is to stupid to have the job they have __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

08-04-2017, 08:23 PM	#1552
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,193 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	My goofball best friend talking about a water buffalo. __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

08-04-2017, 09:35 PM	#1553
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,845 Times in 9,708 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	That some people truly have the audacity to try and square up with me... you won't win, I don't back down, stop trying. __________________ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein

08-04-2017, 11:36 PM	#1554
2qt Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her.. Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Mothership Posts: 873 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 861 Thanked 1,966 Times in 582 Posts Rep Power: 15312203	Slipping on my backside whilst holding a cup off coffee & not spilling a single drop..... Now that's dedication.... lol @ me.....

08-05-2017, 01:47 PM	#1555
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,418 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	The Tractor Supply manager. I bought a battery operated pole saw. The box did not indicate if there was bar/chain oil in the box. Most items like this come with at least a small bottle. I ask the cashier did she know if there was any in the box, she held the whole box up in the air, like she was doing a price check on a box of tampons, and yelled does this come with oil. The manager yelled back, it's electric, you don't need oil. I glanced at the guy behind me and he was chuckling I began chuckling. To whom it may concern, even electric chain saws need bar/chain oil. __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

08-06-2017, 09:32 PM	#1556
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,193 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Telling a friend about a mutual friend's fiasco involving two fishing rods, a bunch of tangled fishing line, a car trunk that was too small to fit the big fishing rod, one grandkid that had just about pushed his limit, two fish hooks.... and the end result of "Pap" with three holes in his hand (thanks to the kid yanking on the line as "Pap" was trying to untangle things), me running to get his pocket knife to free things up, then parts of the fishing poles in the trunk and other parts in the front seat, and a grandkid that was told to never bring fishing poles again....Pap was not a very happy Pap. And telling this story to a friend that knows Pap well, and knows Pap never raises his voice or gets peeved with his grandkids. __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

08-07-2017, 02:53 PM	#1557
CherryWine Senior Member How Do You Identify?: lesbian femme Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: The Deep South Posts: 2,491 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,060 Thanked 10,035 Times in 2,182 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	An impromptu brainstorming session with my coworkers on how to stop the women at the new company on the 1st floor from coming to our 3rd floor restroom to "drop the kids off at the pool" all day every day...even though they have their own huge bathroom downstairs. There were some pretty funny and creative ideas!

08-19-2017, 11:40 AM	#1558
easygoingfemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Lil' Miss Sassy Pants Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: My place by the river Posts: 3,620 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,995 Thanked 14,850 Times in 3,250 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Shaking out my tent to air out from the last camping trip and seeing glitter start flying out of it.

08-21-2017, 02:49 PM	#1559
CherryWine Senior Member How Do You Identify?: lesbian femme Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: The Deep South Posts: 2,491 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,060 Thanked 10,035 Times in 2,182 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	Trump looking at the eclipse without glasses... Somebody please tell me that if he burns his eyes out, he can't be president anymore.

08-22-2017, 06:47 AM	#1560
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,569 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,033 Thanked 11,054 Times in 1,494 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	__________________ * * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable