Dating Personality Types

[candy_coated_bitch]

I'm an INFP and have consistently tested as such since I was like 10 so I am pretty confident in that result lol. I'm not sure I have a "type" that I am attracted to... It's so mixed for me. I mesh very well with fellow introverts. Extroverts can draw me out, which can be really good, but then after a while I start fantasizing about killing them so they will shut up. It has to be an extrovert that can understand where an introvert is coming from. You'd be surprised at the number who don't.

Thinkers can iffy for me, too. I find intense fellow feelers exhausting, but thinkers don't always "get" me in the way I need. I like ideas and think a lot and am intellectual, but I have found that those who orient themselves towards the world through thinking to be a different animal. Someone who is logical and hyper-rational doesn't work well for me. It depends on the degree, I think. I like someone who is grounding, but not someone who can't get a good grasp on feelings, or who can't understand that using my feelings to inform my decisions is *VALID* and not *IRRATIONAL* just ain't gonna work for me. I've often found that thinkers want to "fix" my feelings when I don't want or need that. Someone not on either extreme with thinking/feeling works best for me, with maybe a bit over into the thinking territory.

I think I need someone who is perceiving because I really hate a lot of restrictions, and I just can't. Yeah.

This answer it TOTALLY an INFP answer I am realizing bwahaha!!!

[imperfect_cupcake]

LOL I rather count on Introvert partners to tell me to shut up. I laugh and agree and shut up. Someone sitting there, wishing I would shut up and wanting to hit me with a brick, isn't very helpful. Luckily, most of my partners (who, mostly were introverts) knew how to say "for the love of god, woman, shut it" Or "Babs. stuff it before I gag you" Or you know, shove something fun in my mouth

That's why I also need assertive and someone with a spine LOL

the relationship page is here http://www.personalitypage.com/html/relationships.html

Look up your type at the bottom, click and at the bottom of the "as a partner" description is will say something like:

Generally, the ENFP is a warm and affirming creature who is very interested and able to have an intense, meaningful, close relationship with their mate.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ENFP's natural partner is the INTJ, or the INFJ. ENFP's dominant function of Extraverted Intuition is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Introverted Intuition.

Of course, my best matches also happen to be the rarest. *eyeball roll*

So Hiiiiiii INFJ and INTJ butches!

[imperfect_cupcake]

ISFJ = ESFP or ESTP
INFP = ENFJ, ESFJ (looks like you are on the spot there! the F is pretty important CCB!)
INFJ = ENTP, ENFP
INTJ = ENTP, ENFP

[candy_coated_bitch]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

ISFJ = ESFP or ESTP
INFP = ENFJ, ESFJ (looks like you are on the spot there! the F is pretty important CCB!)
INFJ = ENTP, ENFP
INTJ = ENTP, ENFP

Oh, awesome! Thanks for looking that up. I did sense that the feeling/thinking thing had caused some serious conflicts in my past relationships!!! My most recent one in particular. I'm actually not surprised that extroverts can be a good match for me, actually I think introverts and extroverts are often drawn to each other. And for the record, I HAVE gotten good at telling extrovert partners when I have had enough. I still might picture killing sometimes though lol!!! The part of this I am most surprised about is the judging aspect. Would have thought that would be a disaster, but I guess I don't have any experience to back that up. *off to read*

[TruTexan]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

ISFJ = ESFP or ESTP
INFP = ENFJ, ESFJ (looks like you are on the spot there! the F is pretty important CCB!)
INFJ = ENTP, ENFP
INTJ = ENTP, ENFP

I'm an ISFJ so where are the ESFPs and ESTPs around here?


Thanks HoneyB for making this list of pairings.

[MasterfulButch]

Sexually, INFJs view intimacy as a nearly spiritual experience. They embrace the opportunity to bond heart and soul with their mates. As service-oriented individuals, it's very important to them that their mates are happy. Intimacy is an opportunity for the INFJ to selflessly give their love, and experience it in a tangible way.

So true.

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by MasterfulButch

So true.

And it sounds like a *lovely* trait to have

CCB - I often want to hit my introverted partners with a brick for sitting there and not responding. But it's also endearing to me to have that low-level conflict. I've also learned to sit and wait. They learned to tell me "Hang on, let me think about that" - if told, I will kick back and amuse myself with the 72 other things in my head. lol

I'm also 45 now and I know a bit better how to give people space. I don't take it personally anymore. I respect it. I need mine too.

Plus I find it somewhat endearing if someone wants to hit me with a brick at times.

Brick-play. Powerful. mmmmmmm.....


And I thought, a long as time ago "J" would be annoying. but you know what? I'm such and open person and fluid that for me, I actually enjoy someone else's "J" - it sparks good debate and I like that. "T" also sparks a good debate with me. And I personally get randy with some low level playful bickering and I like someone laughing and getting off on my
"NO IT ISN'T, INFINITY PLUS ONE!" princess stomp But I dont think I would have appreciated it as much in those when I was younger.

My Exwife was an INFJ and we had a bloody ball together. And I do have to admit, her "protective" function (J's got that thang in shedloads) was very sexy.

I dunno, depends on their maturity?

[imperfect_cupcake]

Extroverts are assumed to be the default and they're so dominant in our culture at large that, speaking as an introvert, I can't really fault a lot of them for not really getting us. They just don't have the exposure to us that we do to them. Plus, ya know, we're introverts and we don't exactly wear our thoughts and feelings on our sleeves. Overall, I think we're tougher nuts to crack!

Both my parents were introverts, and growing up a misfit punk rocker/goth, pretty much 80% my friends in school were introverts. As an adult, all save one or two of my friends have been introverts. So I grew up thinking there was something *wrong* with me because I "need" people more than they did. I really carried that around with a lot of peer pressure that "I wasn't whole within myself" and "I was silly and fluffy"

I also got bullied for my extroversion. Yup. Because I'm open, warm, friendly, tail waggy, shy and sincere (surfacely in person), I got picked on a lot. And Sexually harassed.

Introversion and extroversion can - for me at least - be an incredibly good balance. Many introverts are just as uniformed about extroversion and the other way round (trust me, given my past with my mates, *very* uninformed. Extrovert = needy, loud, obnoxious, shallow, fickle, stupid, etc...)

so I think a little understanding can be extended in both ways, agreed.

and an F I want to fix too. But the most important thing to me is that *they don't "feel" alone* so I try to fix by trying to connect. T tends to fix by using logic. And personally, I actually appreciate that. I need a slap of reality and objectivity at time.

I'm a huuuuge bag of sloppy feels. But being raised by two introverted thinkers... I have a certain respect and appreciation for it? mebbe.

[SleepyButch]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

Both my parents were introverts, and growing up a misfit punk rocker/goth, pretty much 80% my friends in school were introverts. As an adult, all save one or two of my friends have been introverts. So I grew up thinking there was something *wrong* with me because I "need" people more than they did. I really carried that around with a lot of peer pressure that "I wasn't whole within myself" and "I was silly and fluffy"

I also got bullied for my extroversion. Yup. Because I'm open, warm, friendly, tail waggy, shy and sincere (surfacely in person), I got picked on a lot. And Sexually harassed.

Introversion and extroversion can - for me at least - be an incredibly good balance. Many introverts are just as uniformed about extroversion and the other way round (trust me, given my past with my mates, *very* uninformed. Extrovert = needy, loud, obnoxious, shallow, fickle, stupid, etc...)

so I think a little understanding can be extended in both ways, agreed.

and an F I want to fix too. But the most important thing to me is that *they don't "feel" alone* so I try to fix by trying to connect. T tends to fix by using logic. And personally, I actually appreciate that. I need a slap of reality and objectivity at time.

I'm a huuuuge bag of sloppy feels. But being raised by two introverted thinkers... I have a certain respect and appreciation for it? mebbe.

I'll take the test sometime later but what I do know is that I am an Introvert and shy (at first). What that usually means for me is that people think I'm stuck up or just not friendly, which is frustrating on many levels. Just because I sit back, observe, and don't talk much when I don't know you doesn't mean I'm not a friendly guy.

I also have dated my share of extroverts, some of who don't get the introvert thing at all because they have put me in really uncomfortable situations, which I never understood. Okay maybe that was just one or two of them.

On the other side of that, because they are extrovert, aren't they the ones who are supposed to be the outgoing, life of the party, who does all the talking? I agree that there is a lot of misconception on both parts and I also don't think that every introvert is the same and that every extrovert is the same.

I guess that maybe this should be a topic of conversation when you are getting to know someone. That way, maybe you can each have a better understanding of who the other person is and how they react in certain situations.

I think you also said something earlier about yourself being shy and not making the first move when it comes to "dating" someone but that you will let someone know you are attracted to them. I have to thank you for that because for me, if I know someone is attracted to me, I have no issues at all being the aggressive one. Even my introverted self can cross some boundaries. lol

Anyway, that's it... for now.

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by SleepyButch

I'll take the test sometime later but what I do know is that I am an Introvert and shy (at first). What that usually means for me is that people think I'm stuck up or just not friendly, which is frustrating on many levels. Just because I sit back, observe, and don't talk much when I don't know you doesn't mean I'm not a friendly guy.

I also have dated my share of extroverts, some of who don't get the introvert thing at all because they have put me in really uncomfortable situations, which I never understood. Okay maybe that was just one or two of them.

On the other side of that, because they are extrovert, aren't they the ones who are supposed to be the outgoing, life of the party, who does all the talking? I agree that there is a lot of misconception on both parts and I also don't think that every introvert is the same and that every extrovert is the same.

I guess that maybe this should be a topic of conversation when you are getting to know someone. That way, maybe you can each have a better understanding of who the other person is and how they react in certain situations.

I think you also said something earlier about yourself being shy and not making the first move when it comes to "dating" someone but that you will let someone know you are attracted to them. I have to thank you for that because for me, if I know someone is attracted to me, I have no issues at all being the aggressive one. Even my introverted self can cross some boundaries. lol

Anyway, that's it... for now.

Extrovert Misconception... I watch rooms before I interact. I will stay quiet for as long as it takes to suss out people before I speak. I generally don't initiate conversations. But if someone says hello to me, I'm very warm and friendly.

I stayed very quiet and to myself in school (the one I'm in right now) for about three months before I spoke to people. Yes, people did think I was stuck up and judging them. And I can see why. I can't blame them for that, no more than I can blame people for thinking I'm flirting with them when I'm just being my warm friendly self.

People at school, when I was asked during one lunch discussion "what myers briggs are you" I said
"ENFP"
"YOU are an EXTROVERT????"
"yes."
"that can't be right."
"It is. Extroversion is only how one gets energy and how one processes info. that's it. nothing else."
"Wha-"
"I need to be around people or I get fatigued. I get depressed. I get exhausted by too much time on my own. And I can't process information internally. I *have* to speak or write in order to get it out so I can hear it or see it in order to think it through properly. But that's all extroversion is. that's it. How outgoing someone is, or how shy, that's a different trait."

Plus MOST people are not extroverts, nor are they introverts. They are Ambiverts.

all that extra stuff people tie to binaries... load of toss.

Most of my Partners have been gregarious and social introverts.

[ahk]

ISFJs are interested in maintaining order and harmony in every aspect of their lives. They are steadfast and meticulous in handling their responsibilities. Although quiet, they are people-oriented and very observant. Not only do they remember details about others, but they observe and respect others’ feelings. Friends and family are likely to describe them as thoughtful and trustworthy.

According to Keirsey, ISFJs, or "Protector Guardians", are most concerned with taking care of people by keeping them safe and secure. They are modest caretakers who do not demand credit or thanks for their efforts. But while they are essentially compassionate—and in fact exercise more patience in dealing with people with disabilities than perhaps any other type—their shyness with strangers can lead others to misread them as standoffish. Only among friends and family may this quiet type feel comfortable speaking freely. ISFJs are serious people with a strong work ethic, not inclined to self-indulgence. They believe in being meticulous and thrifty. They work well alone. While they may enjoy taking care of others, they do not enjoy giving orders.

[CherryWine]

I first took the MBTI test a couple of years ago and became slightly obsessed with it at the time, asking several of my close friends/family to take it as well. Ha!

I consistently score as INTP with a very high percentage in introversion. My partner scored as an ENTJ with a low percentage in extroversion, and I must say that our personalities do seem to fit together like a hand in glove. She totally gets my need to recharge after being in social settings with a lot of people. It literally takes days to recharge sometimes.

I am pretty sure that some people do read me as being aloof until I am comfortable enough around them to emerge from my shell. I don't like that I initially come off like that, but that is just me. Some of my very dear and very extroverted friends just don't seem to understand how I could possibly gain my energy from being alone. It baffles them.

[Angeltoes]

I'm pretty much a classic INFJ but more introverted than most. INFJs are known as counselors or advocates because they like to advocate for people and causes. They're idealistic dreamers, but also capable of putting their ideals into action. They love helping and being of service. It's supposedly a very rare type like Hershel from the Walking Dead.

[Lecheloco]

ENTP - Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving
(Extraverted Intuition with Introverted Thinking)

The Visionary

Clever" is the word that perhaps describes ENTPs best. The professor who juggles half a dozen ideas for research papers and grant proposals in his mind while giving a highly entertaining lecture on an abstruse subject is a classic example of the type. So is the stand-up comedian whose lampoons are both funny and incisively accurate.

ENTPs are usually verbally as well as cerebrally quick, and generally love to argue--both for its own sake, and to show off their debating skills. ENTPs tend to have a perverse sense of humor as well, and enjoy playing devil's advocate. This sometimes confuses, even angers, those who don't understand or accept the concept of argument as a sport.

ENTPs are as innovative and ingenious at problem-solving as they are at verbal gymnastics; on occasion, however, they manage to outsmart themselves. ENTPs can be prone to "sharp practice" – especially cutting corners without regard to the rules if it's expedient – or, their juggling acts may simply be so over-ambitious they collapse.

Both at work and at home, ENTPs are very fond of "toys" -- physical or intellectual, the more sophisticated the better. Once these have been "solved" or become too familiar, however, they’ll be replaced with new ones.

ENTPs are basically optimists, but in spite of this (perhaps because of it?), they can become petulant about small setbacks and inconveniences. (Major setbacks they regard as challenges, and tackle with determination.) ENTPs have little patience with those they consider wrongheaded or unintelligent, and show little restraint in demonstrating this. In general, however, they are genial, even charming, when not being harassed by life.

In terms of their relationships with others, ENTPs are capable of bonding very closely and suddenly with their loved ones. Some appear deceptively offhand with their nearest and dearest; others are so demonstrative that they succeed in shocking co-workers who've only seen their professional side. ENTPs are also quick to spot a kindred spirit, and good at acquiring friends of similar temperament and interests.

ENTPs may sometimes give the impression of being largely oblivious to the rest of humanity except as an audience: good, bad, or potential. In general this is unfair – but it can be difficult to get an ENTP’s attention when they’re not immediately aware of you, especially for an Introvert.

The best approach in communicating with an ENTP is to be straightforward. No games – they’ll win. No "pulling rank" – they’ll just want to put you in your place. No apologies – you’ll undermine yourself. Try "I need/want to talk to you."

Some Famous ENTPs:

Alexander the Great
Confederate General J. E. B. Stuart
Sir Walter Raleigh
Fictional:

Mercutio, from Romeo and Juliet
Horace Rumpole, from John Mortimer's Rumpole of the Bailey series
Dorothy L. Sayers's detective Lord Peter Wimsey

A Functional Analysis -- by Joe Butt

Extraverted iNtuition

ENTPs are nothing if not unique. Brave new associations flow freely from the unconscious into the world of the living. Making, discovering and developing connections between and among two or more of anything is virtually automatic. The product of intuition is merely an icon of process; ENTPs are in the business of change, improvement, experimentation.

The attraction Extraverted iNtuition has toward the real and physical amounts to a cosmic non sequitur: theory is drawn to practice. Such encounters are clearly puzzling. Both parties--the intuitor and the realist--are aware of a xenic quality in their meeting, with reactions ranging from recoil to reverie.

Introverted Thinking

Thinking is iNtuition's ready assistant, an embodiment of the sort of logic found in laws, boards and circuits. Thinking's job is to lend focus and direction to iNtuition's critical mass. The temporary habitations of changeling iNtuition are constructed of Boolean materials from Thinking's storehouse. Ultimately, Thinking is no match for iNtuition's prodigiousness. Systems lie in various states of disarray, fragmentary traces of Thinking's feverish attempts to shadow and undergird the leaps of the dominant function. One can only suppose that Thinking must continue to work during REM sleep pulling together iNtuition's brainchildren into integral wholes.

Extraverted Feeling

To the extent that Feeling is developed, ENTPs extravert Feeling judgment. As a result, it is not uncommon to find affability and bonhomie in members of this species. Tertiary functions are potentially utilitarian. Their limitations appear in their relative underdevelopment, diminished endurance, and vulnerability. ENTPs may harness Feeling's good will in areas such as sales, service, drama, humor and art. ENTP loyalty often runs high and can be hooked by those the ENTP counts as friends.

Introverted Sensing

Like a tail on the kite of iNtuition, Introverted Sensing counterweighs these beings drawn to nonconformity and anarchy. These shadowy sensory forms, so familiar to SJ types, serve as lodestones which many ENTPs employ Herculean measures to escape. "Question authority! (then do exactly what it tells you)" sums up the dilemma in which ENTPs may find themselves by attempting to best the tarbaby Sensing. Occasionally acknowledging awareness of norms and abnormality could, in theory, be potentially freeing.

Additionally, I've noticed that ENTPs have the need to have areas of expertise/excellence/uniqueness in which one is second to none. I've never beaten an ENTP at his/her own game--not in the final analysis. (e.g., just tonight, my neighbor who is recuperating from an illness received a call from an ENTP friend offering his special recipe for tea. The instructions required only the finest ingredients, a particular brand of orange juice, tea made with a ball--none of those horrid teabags--..., which will of course make the best tea of which he himself drinks 50 gallons each winter!)

A Few More Famous ENTPs
U.S. Presidents:
John Adams, 2nd US president.
[Adams appears to have been competing with
Thomas Jefferson to see who would live the
longest. ("Jefferson surv...")]
James A. Garfield (who could reportedly write Latin
with one hand and Greek with the other, simultaneously)
Rutherford B. Hayes
Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt
Thomas Edison
Lewis Carrol, author (Alice in Wonderland)
Julia Child
Suzanne Pleshette
George Carlin
Valerie Harper
John Candy
John Sununu
Dr. Bill Bass, forensic anthropologist
Weird Al Yankovick
Marilyn Vos Savant
Alfred Hitchcock
Tom Hanks
David Spade
Céline Dion
Matthew Perry, Chandler ("Friends")
Rachel Ray
Rodney Dangerfield

Fictional Characters:
"Q" (Star Trek--The Next Generation)
Shirley Feeney (Laverne and Shirley)
Bugs Bunny
Wile E. Coyote
Garfield the cat
Copyright © 2012 by Joe Butt and Marina Margaret Heiss

[BullDog]

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

I'm pretty much a classic INFJ but more introverted than most. INFJs are known as counselors or advocates because they like to advocate for people and causes. They're idealistic dreamers, but also capable of putting their ideals into action. They love helping and being of service. It's supposedly a very rare type like Hershel from the Walking Dead.

I am INFJ and so is my partner gotoseagrl. It really is amazing and works.
I used to test as INTJ. I think I've softened a bit, lol.

[angelface]

Haha so true for me!

[kittygrrl]

I'm INTP-The Thinkers

[CherryWine]

Bumping just because....

Any other INTPs out there besides kittygirl and myself?

[DapperButch]

ISTJ

When I first started taking these 20 years ago, I always got ESTJ. Since then, it has been a toss up between I and E. The STJ never changes. The J is on the lower end than it used to be. I think that is because I have become more flexible over time. I am less rigid, less "wound up tight", since transition.

ETA: I think that I would have to be with a Thinker over Feeler. I have a hard time when people don't make decisions based on hard data, or don't think "logically" when it comes to problem solving. It puts me over the edge. I can be very pragmatic and struggle understanding someone who isn't. With that said, I wish I was less pragmatic and prefer a partner who is less pragmatic than me, in general.

[imperfect_cupcake]

when it comes to dating, I prefer to date what compliments me.

ENFP - gI get balanced by INFJ or INTJ very well. I have a HUUUUUUGE "P" like, off the scales "P" so those with a "J" tend to help me out.

I have shitloads of fun with the two above types - usually. There are people in any group that I don't get on with, of course. But I have always had the best fun/relationships with those and through my history a *large* percentage of them have been one or the other. And this has been my experience with them:


I love that I can really have stupid fun with those types because they get that "dark, intelligent, irreverent, piss taker" part of me when others see a "rainbow care bear that is grumpy pants. Poor grumpy oogums."

That doesn't mean they won't call me a care bear to piss me off at every opportunity -but someone who has the intelligence and interest to insult me with care and wit means they have to pay particular attention to me to get that far - and I like that. That's hot.

That's also why I will irritate them with little toe puppets on my feet acting out Swiss Family Robinson Loves My Little Pony when they are really, really fucking busy.

Because, it would really piss them off but also secretly tell them things.

I also know it would piss an INFJ off in a much different way than it would an INTJ (frankly it's more fun to piss an INTJ off. They are more fun with being pissed off)

INFJs are more fun with pissing *me* off.

But they are both fun at both. They are just weighed slightly better at one more than the other.

My INFJs tended to be a bit more Mudpuddly with being pissed off by a good solidly applied perry, whereas my INTJs got a bit of *~frisson~*.

when my INFJs have pissed me off it was more Fozzy Bear "oh I pissed off the Mrs! Waka waka!"
And the INTJ if they managed to sincerely piss me off is was met with more "WHAT? IT WAS ACADEMIC." *poke*? (you aren't seriously mad are you? I mean, I had a point...)