To Write Love on Her Arms

[Mister Bent]

Depression, as the commercial says, affects everyone.

It's affected me.

Maybe it's affected you.

It's affected someone you love.

Depression affects us all, and yet it is still stigmatized.

Because depression affects us all, it affects us here, which made me start to wonder how we can support each other in an online forum, especially with the sword of stigma hanging over our heads.


Yesterday was To Write Love on Her Arms Day.

To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression,
addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.

More info at the TWLOHA site; it's a beautiful story.


It got me thinking - What about a BFP To Write Love on Her Arms Day? In addition to support for those with depression, addiction or who self-harm, it can be seen as a sort of coming out - "we're here, we're down, but don't throw us out!" ( Ok, there are better battle cries out there, I admit.)

So, I don't know what's next - set a day? Start writing love on her arm (or his, for that matter) and post the photos?

How can our community contribute and offer support? In my mind, this isn't a one time thing, but an effort of on-going support within our community.

Thoughts?

[suebee]

I've struggled with depression for years. Probably most of my life. I've lost so much because of it: a career, friends, money..... I'd love to see us support each other. I think we're the only ones who can truly understand what that black hole is about. Subscribing. I'll be back.

Sue

[SuperFemme]

My teen who attempted suicide in May was so moved by this (she received a note from Snow on FB) that she got a big movement going at her H.S.

She is doing fabulous now and has that one amazing teacher who nurtures her as Peer/Leadership/Mentor teacher. With that class they spread the word and had a large amount of teens with love on their arms. She also spread the word around to the middle school children they mentor so the movement spilled over in large numbers to the Jr. High.

It's nice to have a kid who comes home laughing with a smile in her eyes and I am not quite ready to wash my arm.

[Jet]

This summer, I was picked up on a 10-13 intending to commit suicide. (It was my 4th attempt in 10 years.) There was intervention that night from a neighbor. I'm not manic or anything, (having taken the MMPI evaluation test recently) I was just done. My test did show patterns of depression, which I found can take many forms. See, I lost everything—things I can't recover because of a trauma. And in the process of renewing and rebuilding my life, I get depressed because it's daunting to recover and rebuild. The night I was picked up on a 10-13 was because I having to face so much loss.
So I get it, and I would be available to lend whatever support here at BFP.

[kassykit]

Honey i know you don't know me, but if you need to talk..... just message me. I am in the process of rebuilding right now..... it's a long hard road, with huge speedbumps sometimes

Originally Posted by Ol' Jet

This summer, I was picked up on a 10-13 intending to commit suicide. (It was my 4th attempt in 10 years.) There was intervention that night from a neighbor. I'm not manic or anything, (having taken the MMPI evaluation test recently) I was just done. My test did show patterns of depression, which I found can take many forms. See, I lost everything—things I can't recover because of a trauma. And in the process of renewing and rebuilding my life, I get depressed because it's daunting to recover and rebuild. The night I was picked up on a 10-13 was because I having to face so much loss.
So I get it, and I would be available to lend whatever support here at BFP.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by kassykit

it's a long hard road, with huge speedbumps sometimes

yes it is, thank you.

[kassykit]

Perhaps just a place where we could get our feelings out without fear of the repercussions.

I live and grew up in a very strict household. Though many wouldn't see it that way.

I had very few written rules, but many many unspoken rules.

My depression is fed by i am not what was expected of me. I feel i have never been good enough, fast enough, pretty enough, or even much wanted.

It's one thing for me to vocalize what i know my issues are, its quite another for me to actually get over soemthing that's been a part of my life since i was very little

Maybe we could support each other, by at first.............. just listening.

Maybe set up a network where if osmeone IS in crisis, they could call. I don't know about anyone else, but the annonny lines, i've never been able to call those.

I've always ended up going to the ER, usually after doing something stupid. (like taking every pill in the house)

[Mister Bent]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

My teen who attempted suicide in May was so moved by this (she received a note from Snow on FB) that she got a big movement going at her H.S.

She is doing fabulous now and has that one amazing teacher who nurtures her as Peer/Leadership/Mentor teacher. With that class they spread the word and had a large amount of teens with love on their arms. She also spread the word around to the middle school children they mentor so the movement spilled over in large numbers to the Jr. High.

It's nice to have a kid who comes home laughing with a smile in her eyes and I am not quite ready to wash my arm.

What a great story, Superflyfemme. Glad to hear she's made a turn around, and that she's even gone a step further and is using her experience to help others.

I'd be willing to bet most of us have a story of that one teacher, or coach, or older person who reached out in some way to keep us going through some hard stuff.

Originally Posted by Ol' Jet

This summer, I was picked up on a 10-13 intending to commit suicide. (It was my 4th attempt in 10 years.) There was intervention that night from a neighbor. I'm not manic or anything, (having taken the MMPI evaluation test recently) I was just done. My test did show patterns of depression, which I found can take many forms. See, I lost everything—things I can't recover because of a trauma. And in the process of renewing and rebuilding my life, I get depressed because it's daunting to recover and rebuild. The night I was picked up on a 10-13 was because I having to face so much loss.
So I get it, and I would be available to lend whatever support here at BFP.

Rebuilding is daunting. But it's like any big task, it helps to break it into smaller, more attainable goals (just like transitioning).

Do you think your neighbor helped in that you felt less alone with your pain? What made the difference for you that night?

Originally Posted by kassykit

<snip>Perhaps just a place where we could get our feelings out without fear of the repercussions.

I think this is fundamentally important.

I've seen people take the knowledge of another's depression - their use of an anti-depressant - and try to belittle them for it. I've seen it happen in queer space, on a butch/femme forum, as if it were somehow relevant.

Originally Posted by kassykit

<snip>
Maybe we could support each other, by at first.............. just listening.

Maybe set up a network where if osmeone IS in crisis, they could call. I don't know about anyone else, but the annonny lines, i've never been able to call those.

Listening is important. Sometimes it helps just to be able to say (or write) out loud those things that are making you feel desperate.

[Jet]

[QUOTE=Mister Bent;5484]
Do you think your neighbor helped in that you felt less alone with your pain? What made the difference for you that night?

No, I never felt less alone. (I was mad that my neighbor called the cops, though‚ which was actually a godsend in disguise) What made the difference is that I realized I didn't want to take my life as much as I wanted to be rid of the pain of facing my trauma which had been going one for about a year. Now I'm doing better than ever, but it was hell for a year.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

My teen who attempted suicide in May was so moved by this (she received a note from Snow on FB) that she got a big movement going at her H.S.

She is doing fabulous now and has that one amazing teacher who nurtures her as Peer/Leadership/Mentor teacher. With that class they spread the word and had a large amount of teens with love on their arms. She also spread the word around to the middle school children they mentor so the movement spilled over in large numbers to the Jr. High.

It's nice to have a kid who comes home laughing with a smile in her eyes and I am not quite ready to wash my arm.

I have to tell you how glad i am that your daughter pulled through and then pursued the ripple affect in helping her peer groups. Thumbs up and a hug back from Georgia.

[Kätzchen]

Originally Posted by Mister Bent

Depression, as the commercial says, affects everyone.

It's affected me.

Maybe it's affected you.

It's affected someone you love.

Depression affects us all, and yet it is still stigmatized.

Because depression affects us all, it affects us here, which made me start to wonder how we can support each other in an online forum, especially with the sword of stigma hanging over our heads.


Yesterday was To Write Love on Her Arms Day.

To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression,
addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.

More info at the TWLOHA site; it's a beautiful story.


It got me thinking - What about a BFP To Write Love on Her Arms Day? In addition to support for those with depression, addiction or who self-harm, it can be seen as a sort of coming out - "we're here, we're down, but don't throw us out!" ( Ok, there are better battle cries out there, I admit.)

So, I don't know what's next - set a day? Start writing love on her arm (or his, for that matter) and post the photos?

How can our community contribute and offer support? In my mind, this isn't a one time thing, but an effort of on-going support within our community.

Thoughts?

Thank you for the courage you have for presenting a very sensitive topic for discussion and consideration, Mr. Bent.

"Depression" has been a part of my family history and at times, I know I have experienced levels of depression over my life. I have often wondered about the correlation between genetics and physiology of the human body we are born, gifted with and what seems to be interconnected with our individual identity. Varying levels of depression run on both sides of my family and uncles, aunts, and even my eldest son have either successfully taken their own lives or lived to face their challenges with as much dignity as possible.

I think that if healing can come by practicing TWHLOA - writing loving text upon the body - improves how one feels about oneself, then I wholeheartedy want to support this endeavor!

Again, thanks so much for the opportunity to come alongside with others and help to foster wellness, hope, peace and to express loving kindness for people in an integrative approach!

~ALK

[Andrew, Jr.]

Today is a day when I am hanging onto those in this thread. I am having a horrible day. I am filled with so much emotion when I usually am not one for any. It is strange. A battlefield of my mind.

[suebee]

I'm feeling better than I have for years. Now that may be hard to read if you're having a bad go of it right now, but I say it so that you can know that there's light at the end of the tunnel. I don't think either my therapist or my doctor thought I would survive my depression. I know I didn't think I would. So just get through today. Take the steps you can - but DO what you can. This damnedable disease robs us of our hope.....but please know (you may not feel it, but -KNOW) that there IS hope!

I posted during the winter that I thought I had arthritis: turns out it was a virus that mimics severe arthritis by affecting the auto-immune system, and it seems to be passing. Thanks to all those who showed concern for me.

Sue

[Apocalipstic]

Mister Bent! What a wonderful subject for a thread, I am so very sorry I did not see it until now.

I would love to see a To Write Love on Her/His Arms Day! I would support it 100%.

Many of us here struggle with depression.

I am humbled at the outpouring of support for people with depression.

SuperFemme, the story about your daughter made me cry. How wonderful that Snow was there to tell her about this and get her motivated to help others as she helps herself.

Love to all of you!

[DalenaQ]

Post is spam and thus removed.

[katsarecool]

What a great thread!!! I would never have found it except I go to Who's Online and have seen some good topics that were before my time here.

I have major depressive disorder or so the professionals say. I think it is more situational depression which is caused by physical pain that is constant. Some days are worse than others. Depression and chronic pain all too often go hand in hand.

I used to be such an achiever; high energy; very accomplished in my career, involved with family and a busy social life. Things changed in an instant and I have had to learn how to adapt. I still mourn my abilities and accomplishments of old but take one day at a time.

Somedays I get frustrated when I feel I am so behind in taking care of my home and there is no help available which makes it worse when struggling with heavy work like cutting grass, vaccuuming, cleaning the floors, etc. I wish my family was able to help me. They don't because I put on a happy face and refuse to ask for help. I did a few times and was let down.

I have ended up having to pay some men in the neighborhood to do things I can no longer do so that has made me feel somewhat better. I still can't help but be upset with family members. I was the one that always went out of my way to do things for them big time!!! So there is some resentment there as well.

I struggle with doing daily chores and have to measure out my activities and balance with rest. The last year exercise has increased endurane and lessened the pain.

For the past three years I have been off anti-depressants and feel better mentally now. They did a good job in the beginning and then their affectiveness wore off.

I hope there is a renewed interest in this subject because reading it was amazing to me.