How do you communicate when you're angry?

Sassy · 11-23-2011, 07:38 PM

OK, I've been looking around for a bit to see where I could post this and I didn't see anything. If there's a better place for this question to live I'm sure a mod can move it

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So, here's a shocker. My SO and I communicate very differently. It's usually not an issue. But when one of us gets angry there's a huge problem. I don't say a word. She screams it to the high heavens. ... I did mention we communicate differently

She gets in a temper quick. It boils, her mind races, scenarios play out before her eyes and before either of us know it she's slamming doors and yelling. She can't sit with her anger. And the only way she can force herself to express herself, to push past the emotions and find her voice, is seemingly to yell.

I'm have a mild temperament. Too much so probably. Many things just do not bother me. But even if something does bother me, I take someone's intentions into consideration and roll it over in my mind before I'll speak up about it -- if I ever speak up. If people yell I walk away and hide -- and probably cry.

We're both broken birds with baggage. But how do you communicate if one can only yell and the other can only shiver and cry?

My SO said she has a book she read years ago called The Dance of Anger and she's going to re-read it and see if she can find any ideas for us. My temporary fix is if she's going to yell she's going to have to do it in the office with the door shut. LOL.

But I guess mostly, I'm curious. How do some of you handle anger? Does anyone else out there have issues similar to either of ours? If so, how have you handled communication in relationships?

11-23-2011, 07:38 PM	#1
Sassy Member How Do You Identify?: Female Relationship Status: Together Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: In the sunshine Posts: 598 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 815 Thanked 1,928 Times in 460 Posts Rep Power: 19641162	How do you communicate when you're angry? OK, I've been looking around for a bit to see where I could post this and I didn't see anything. If there's a better place for this question to live I'm sure a mod can move it ------------------------ So, here's a shocker. My SO and I communicate very differently. It's usually not an issue. But when one of us gets angry there's a huge problem. I don't say a word. She screams it to the high heavens. ... I did mention we communicate differently She gets in a temper quick. It boils, her mind races, scenarios play out before her eyes and before either of us know it she's slamming doors and yelling. She can't sit with her anger. And the only way she can force herself to express herself, to push past the emotions and find her voice, is seemingly to yell. I'm have a mild temperament. Too much so probably. Many things just do not bother me. But even if something does bother me, I take someone's intentions into consideration and roll it over in my mind before I'll speak up about it -- if I ever speak up. If people yell I walk away and hide -- and probably cry. We're both broken birds with baggage. But how do you communicate if one can only yell and the other can only shiver and cry? My SO said she has a book she read years ago called The Dance of Anger and she's going to re-read it and see if she can find any ideas for us. My temporary fix is if she's going to yell she's going to have to do it in the office with the door shut. LOL. But I guess mostly, I'm curious. How do some of you handle anger? Does anyone else out there have issues similar to either of ours? If so, how have you handled communication in relationships?