Bumper Stickers.....

[TexasCowboi]

ACTUAL BUMPER STICKERS FOUND ON CARS!
>
>1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.
>
>2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
>
>3. If You Drink, Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
>
>4. *removed for fear of accidentally offending someone*
>
>5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth
Shut.
>
>6. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
>
>7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could
Drive
> A Little Better. *
>
>8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
>
>9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.
>
>10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
>
>11. If At First You Don't Succeed...Blame Someone
Else
> And Seek Counseling.
>
>12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard
Feelings."
>
>13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
>
>14. Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
>
>15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You
Put
> The Booger.
>
>16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
>
>17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are
Talking
> To Me
>
>18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home
>
>19. I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha
>
>20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't
Happening To Me
>
>21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
>
>22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
>
>23. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
>
>24. The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember
My Name
>
>25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
>
>26. Illiterate? Write For Help
>
>27. Honk If Anything Falls Off
>
>28. Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes
>
>29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From
The Next Exit
>
>30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed
Person
>
>31. Hey You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
>
>32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
>
>33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This
Handbasket?
>
>34. It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
>
>35. I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk
Somewhere
>
>36. *this one was removed for fear of offending someone*
>
>37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It
Wrong...
>
>38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
>
>39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back
Over...[seen
> upside down, on a Jeep]
>
>40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are
Also
> Timed for 70mph.
>
>41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service. Gals: No Shirt, No
Charge
> [seen in a restaurant]
>
>42. *also removed for fear of offending someone*
>
>43. Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack
Open
> A Cold One.
>
>44. Ax Me About Ebonics
>
>45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
>
>46. Boldly Going Nowhere
>
>47. Cat: The Other White Meat
>
>48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!
>
>49. Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That
>
>50. Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His
Animal Friends
>
>51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired >From A
Car Window
>
> 52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He
> Admits He Is Lost?
>
> 53. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle
> Them With Bullets.
>
>54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The
Kids In Touch
>
>55. Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!
>