Help, need reassurance or advice, either would work

Quintease · 04-24-2012, 10:40 AM

We've been planning babies since we got together and now we're finally there. We got a donor (two!) instead of going the clinic route as it's extremely slow and expensive unless you go private, which we can't afford. We're all set to inseminate and all was going well EXCEPT suddenly there is radio silence from both of our donors ...

One of them wasn't certain to begin with, but the other seemed really keen. Should I panic? I've still got ten days for one of them to resume contact.

Worried.

Quintease · 04-24-2012, 12:30 PM

Oh shit.

Apocalipstic · 04-24-2012, 01:36 PM

I hope it all works out for you!

Best!!!!

Quintease · 05-07-2012, 05:04 PM

We found two to replace the one dick that we lost!!!!

Teddybear · 05-07-2012, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quintease

We found two to replace the one dick that we lost!!!!

Congrats on finding replacements!!!!

ruffryder · 05-07-2012, 05:12 PM

Good luck. I know someone that ended up going the adoption route because of costs and hassle. Another alternative I Suppose.

Turtle · 05-07-2012, 05:15 PM

Sorry you live in the UK or I woulda volunteered somebody...Best of goodness to yooz.

Toughy · 05-07-2012, 06:24 PM

I hope you are being smart at this.....

*medical histories for your donor(s) going back a couple of generations..it can be truly important to know this stuff....

*legal paperwork around the sperm donor's involvement....money, religion, time with the kid once s/he/? is hatched, donor's parents involvement

you need to get this stuff in legal order or it will come back and bite you in the ass big time.....I've seen it happen.....it's not just him jacking off in a cup and you using a turkey baster to plant the sperm....

or if you are going to do it the old-fashioned way.....how is that gonna work and trust me it will have a big impact no matter what you think now...

what will the birth certificate say in the 'father' part?

be smart....seek legal counsel and get all the paperwork in order.....now before you get down to the actual business........I'm sure the UK has LGBTQ friendly legal folks who deal with this stuff all the time and work sliding scale if you need it....

Sachita · 05-07-2012, 06:39 PM

Toughy gave you great advice I hope you consider all of it.

But for sure you need to relax. You won't drop any eggs if you're anxious and stressed. Take care of yourself, relax your body and mind, focus on getting really healthy. Rather focus outside on things you can't control, focus on the vessel- YOU and prepare. You will naturally and most certainly draw the right child to you.

Quintease · 05-08-2012, 05:27 PM

The UK provides a lot of protection for LGBT parents now. We're meeting them off donor sites so most of them have done all of their testing, or know what to do anyway. The donor we eventually went with was motivated by his sister needing a donation in order to have kids. I'm quite glad now we lost our original donor as the two replacements actually seem much better people, more knowledgeable about the law and their own family history.

Quintease · 05-08-2012, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sachita

But for sure you need to relax. You won't drop any eggs if you're anxious and stressed.

Thank you, I'm trying!

Amber2010 · 05-09-2012, 07:16 AM

Congratulations!!!
Look forward to hearing the baby news when it arrives.

Bear2you · 06-04-2012, 05:08 PM

Best wishes to you and yours on your pregnancy adventures. My wife and I went through it and started out with triplets and ended up with twins! We used a donor through a cyro bank. Our first 2 attempts were IUI and unsuccessful. Not to mention more expensive. (having to buy 2 vials at once for each attempt that was "washed") Our 3rd attempt was via IVF and was successful! Using a donor through the cyro bank I had to sign a waiver stating I take full responsibility for the baby. As if I was the actual father, and that I could not seek any kind of child support or whatnot from the donor. My wife signed as well. With that being said. When my girls were born my name is on thier birth certificate as the 2nd parent. No "adoption" needed or "donor" remarks on their certificates either. It is a life changing experience and I would not change that for anything in the world. They are my pride and joy. Best of luck on your journey. ~bear~

04-24-2012, 10:40 AM	#1
Quintease Member How Do You Identify?: Rainbow femme Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 508 Thanked 1,816 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 10345578	Help, need reassurance or advice, either would work We've been planning babies since we got together and now we're finally there. We got a donor (two!) instead of going the clinic route as it's extremely slow and expensive unless you go private, which we can't afford. We're all set to inseminate and all was going well EXCEPT suddenly there is radio silence from both of our donors ... One of them wasn't certain to begin with, but the other seemed really keen. Should I panic? I've still got ten days for one of them to resume contact. Worried. __________________ It is not worth an intelligent person's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

04-24-2012, 12:30 PM	#2
Quintease Member How Do You Identify?: Rainbow femme Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 508 Thanked 1,816 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 10345578	Oh shit. __________________ It is not worth an intelligent person's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

04-24-2012, 01:36 PM	#3
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,363 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I hope it all works out for you! Best!!!! __________________

05-07-2012, 05:04 PM	#4
Quintease Member How Do You Identify?: Rainbow femme Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 508 Thanked 1,816 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 10345578	We found two to replace the one dick that we lost!!!! __________________ It is not worth an intelligent person's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

05-07-2012, 06:24 PM	#8
Toughy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: pervert butch feminist woman Preferred Pronoun?: see above Relationship Status: independent entity Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Oakland Posts: 1,826 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,068 Thanked 7,653 Times in 1,522 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I hope you are being smart at this..... medical histories for your donor(s) going back a couple of generations..it can be truly important to know this stuff.... legal paperwork around the sperm donor's involvement....money, religion, time with the kid once s/he/? is hatched, donor's parents involvement you need to get this stuff in legal order or it will come back and bite you in the ass big time.....I've seen it happen.....it's not just him jacking off in a cup and you using a turkey baster to plant the sperm.... or if you are going to do it the old-fashioned way.....how is that gonna work and trust me it will have a big impact no matter what you think now... what will the birth certificate say in the 'father' part? be smart....seek legal counsel and get all the paperwork in order.....now before you get down to the actual business........I'm sure the UK has LGBTQ friendly legal folks who deal with this stuff all the time and work sliding scale if you need it.... __________________ We are everywhere We are different I do not care if resistance is futile I will not assimilate www.butchfemmesocials.com/

05-07-2012, 05:12 PM	#6
ruffryder Senior Member How Do You Identify?: FTM Preferred Pronoun?: guy ones Relationship Status: ... Join Date: May 2011 Location: chillin' in FL Posts: 3,690 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,951 Thanked 9,678 Times in 2,875 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Good luck. I know someone that ended up going the adoption route because of costs and hassle. Another alternative I Suppose.

05-07-2012, 05:15 PM	#7
Turtle Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A mixity Preferred Pronoun?: whatever Relationship Status: chillin Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: in a really really cute little place Posts: 2,144 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,442 Thanked 4,531 Times in 1,222 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Sorry you live in the UK or I woulda volunteered somebody...Best of goodness to yooz.

05-07-2012, 06:39 PM	#9
Sachita Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Goddess Relationship Status: Completely in love Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Southern Virginia Posts: 3,225 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,564 Thanked 8,993 Times in 2,247 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Toughy gave you great advice I hope you consider all of it. But for sure you need to relax. You won't drop any eggs if you're anxious and stressed. Take care of yourself, relax your body and mind, focus on getting really healthy. Rather focus outside on things you can't control, focus on the vessel- YOU and prepare. You will naturally and most certainly draw the right child to you. __________________ You either like me or you don't. It took me Twenty-something years to learn how to love myself, I don't have that kinda time to convince somebody else. ~ Daniel Franzese

05-08-2012, 05:27 PM	#10
Quintease Member How Do You Identify?: Rainbow femme Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 508 Thanked 1,816 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 10345578	The UK provides a lot of protection for LGBT parents now. We're meeting them off donor sites so most of them have done all of their testing, or know what to do anyway. The donor we eventually went with was motivated by his sister needing a donation in order to have kids. I'm quite glad now we lost our original donor as the two replacements actually seem much better people, more knowledgeable about the law and their own family history. __________________ It is not worth an intelligent person's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

05-09-2012, 07:16 AM	#12
Amber2010 Member How Do You Identify?: Happy, Crazy, Bubbly, Funny, Strong, Outgoing, Friendly Preferred Pronoun?: Femme Relationship Status: Complicated Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Florida Posts: 200 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 920 Thanked 594 Times in 154 Posts Rep Power: 3787184	Congratulations!!! Look forward to hearing the baby news when it arrives.

06-04-2012, 05:08 PM	#13
Bear2you Junior Member How Do You Identify?: butch Relationship Status: unavailable Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: South Carolina Posts: 10 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3 Thanked 47 Times in 7 Posts Rep Power: 214761	Best wishes to you and yours on your pregnancy adventures. My wife and I went through it and started out with triplets and ended up with twins! We used a donor through a cyro bank. Our first 2 attempts were IUI and unsuccessful. Not to mention more expensive. (having to buy 2 vials at once for each attempt that was "washed") Our 3rd attempt was via IVF and was successful! Using a donor through the cyro bank I had to sign a waiver stating I take full responsibility for the baby. As if I was the actual father, and that I could not seek any kind of child support or whatnot from the donor. My wife signed as well. With that being said. When my girls were born my name is on thier birth certificate as the 2nd parent. No "adoption" needed or "donor" remarks on their certificates either. It is a life changing experience and I would not change that for anything in the world. They are my pride and joy. Best of luck on your journey. ~bear~