Helpful Tips on Raising a Happy Child

kittygrrl · 12-01-2014, 08:14 AM

It's not easy raising a healthy, happy, child. I would like to devote this thread to parents that are in the process of trying to do this. Please share your thoughts, experience, helpful tips and ideas here. It takes a village! Please share, thank you

kittygrrl · 12-01-2014, 08:17 AM

A. Spectre · 12-01-2014, 08:42 AM

in the midst of so much madness, knowing your child is free to discuss ANYTHING with you is integral.

no matter the topic, no matter the hour, no matter the day.

try never to relay your own predisposed prejudices or fears into her/him.

*Anya* · 12-01-2014, 09:02 AM

Firm and loving limits and boundaries are very critical. Kids really do crave limits. I am not talking about being an inflexible (based on situation) rigid, disciplinarian; but clearly letting kids know what is acceptable and what is not.

Family dinners, to the best of your ability, are also very important.

kittygrrl · 12-01-2014, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Anya*

Firm and loving limits and boundaries are very critical. Kids really do crave limits. I am not talking about being an inflexible (based on situation) rigid, disciplinarian; but clearly letting kids know what is acceptable and what is not.

Family dinners, to the best of your ability, are also very important.

Family dinners, Family night, should be positive supportive safe places for children to express themselves, learn manners, sharing a greater sense of belonging and fitting in. Home should be a welcome haven from the outside world.

MsTinkerbelly · 12-01-2014, 09:40 AM

Setting clear limits, letting them know what is expected of them as part of the family, and loving them in spite of themselves.

~ocean · 12-01-2014, 09:51 AM

~~~ ^ 5 my sisters and butch bros. ~~~ I am enjoying seeing how much love and understanding there is right here in the Planet ~~ threw the years I didn't have any femme friends w/ children ~ I always got that invitation for adults only for a Sunday afternoon pool party ~ I never would attend because Sundays was family day and still is ~~ ~ ty for respecting our familys

A. Spectre · 12-01-2014, 09:59 AM

this thread is going to be chock full of sage advice, i just know it.

as parents, let us never forget to share humor with our child. show them that it is okay and awesome to be silly, goofy and laugh. laugh. and laugh some more.

yes, of course we parents are the adults but please break into foolishness from to time. don't be so stiff. i see so many folks my age, so humor-less, so devoid of what life can be.

kittygrrl · 12-01-2014, 03:22 PM

"Eat your veggies, they are good for you" was always greeted with various icky faces with not much success, so I found different ways to introduce veggies without making it a battle. Here are a few:

I made a "No, thank you" bite rule. They had to try it at least once before they could say, no thanks.

I pureed raw or cooked veggies into meatloaf, fruit smoothies etc. (this worked excellently!)

I introduced new veggies by renaming them something appealing to a child
carrots became pinnochio pencils, spinach became silly grass, broccoli became jillybean trees

I mixed dried fruit into raw veggies (i still do this for myself)

Try it raw, instead of cooking them! Cut and slice and make little faces, or animals and serve them on their own individual plates

Plant a garden together-I had mine help me with pea patch and i never had any problems with peas! There is nothing more yummy then picking a pod and eating raw peas out of it.

Lastly-cook with your kids, have them help you by casually making them in charge of the veggies. This almost always worked because they wanted to taste what they had made.

Candelion · 12-01-2014, 04:43 PM

Children know how to play...don't micromanage their playtime. Let them teach you.

Gráinne · 12-01-2014, 04:51 PM

Don't raise them overly worried about "happiness"

. Raise them to be curious , resilient, and disciplined. Happy will take care of itself.

MysticOceansFL · 12-01-2014, 05:36 PM

I don't have any children but, I do have six nieces and six nephews all at some point have stayed with me for two weeks during the summer and I've always let them bake with me whatever I'm baking at the time but I think it's important to read bed time stories to kids to help give them imagination.

cricket26 · 12-01-2014, 08:31 PM

i raised two children a boy and a girl...and the first 5 years are the most important...you will mold most of their personality and learn most of their strengths and weaknesses in those first 5 years...use those years wisely...and cherish them deeply....you wont regret it

Vivacious1 · 12-01-2014, 08:44 PM

I am assisting in raising my niece... the things I have learned that matter most are, Structure, Accountability and Don't sweat the small stuff... Praise often and correct when needed, but make sure the good stuff always outweighs the bad!

cricket26 · 12-02-2014, 07:24 PM

this post on my facebook by a basketball coach reminded me that team sports really do reinforce some core values...both of my children played soccer, neither were very good...but both are more well rounded for having played on a team of their peers...if your child is not athletic, a non physical team can reinforce the same values...and parents of other team members can be of great moral support...

Blade · 12-02-2014, 07:36 PM

When punishment is necessary, be clear and make sure your child understands why they are in trouble. Don't just assume that they know and understand what they did wrong. Also make the punishment fit the crime.

I saw someone post something about have fun with your child. You want fun? Have a water balloon fight in the house with your child, they will think you are soooo cool! LOL mine did.

Teach your child to be responsible and respectful. These 2 things will go a long way, in every situation in their life.

A. Spectre · 12-02-2014, 08:15 PM

i was raised with being highly competitive, in sports and academics.

my daughter made it fairly clear early on that she would prefer not to compete. in. anything.

must admit that was difficult for me in the beginning, so with time and understanding what makes her tick, i get it now. (for her)

it has paid off not to push what was important to me growing up onto her. now, she is becoming her own person, not just a mirror image of me.

Bèsame* · 12-02-2014, 11:41 PM

Learn to see life thru their eyes, you will be happy too!

ProfPacker · 12-03-2014, 12:16 AM

All these things make sense. I have learned to also let them start to take responsibility for their consequences, you will not be in the world with them all the time.

Be honest, like someone said, don't sweat the small stuff, choose your battle.

Be there to listen, respect their space and privacy. Trust that even though as teens they become subhuman, they will pull out of it and have a sense of respect and kindness and empathy for others if you model that.

(I finally learned that going ballistic at times does nothing except get tears from all and a sore throat) lol

Rockinonahigh · 12-03-2014, 02:02 AM

When I was 10 I had a big issue with an uncle abusing me,I told my mom and she didn't be leave me.This happened again when another uncle call me a worthless chunk of s87t while she was standing there and did not a thing about it ever.Thank goodness my grannie stood up for me and did take care of the issue, big time.By mom ding this set the tone of a distrustful and bad relationship
that never got better ever.Please don't let this happen to you and your child.

12-01-2014, 08:14 AM	#1
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: wildflower Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in raindrops Posts: 9,224 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,543 Thanked 21,858 Times in 7,003 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Helpful Tips on Raising a Happy Child It's not easy raising a healthy, happy, child. I would like to devote this thread to parents that are in the process of trying to do this. Please share your thoughts, experience, helpful tips and ideas here. It takes a village! Please share, thank you

12-01-2014, 08:17 AM	#2
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: wildflower Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in raindrops Posts: 9,224 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,543 Thanked 21,858 Times in 7,003 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Edwin The Duck-Adorable Cuteness thats Useful!

12-01-2014, 09:02 AM	#4
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,537 Times in 7,283 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Firm and loving limits and boundaries are very critical. Kids really do crave limits. I am not talking about being an inflexible (based on situation) rigid, disciplinarian; but clearly letting kids know what is acceptable and what is not. Family dinners, to the best of your ability, are also very important. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

12-01-2014, 09:51 AM	#7
~ocean Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme blows a kiss off my finger tips * Preferred Pronoun?: ~ hey girl ~ Relationship Status: ~ single & content ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Massachusetts ~coastal Posts: 7,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22,958 Thanked 16,056 Times in 4,731 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	~~~ ^ 5 my sisters and butch bros. ~~~ I am enjoying seeing how much love and understanding there is right here in the Planet ~~ threw the years I didn't have any femme friends w/ children ~ I always got that invitation for adults only for a Sunday afternoon pool party ~ I never would attend because Sundays was family day and still is ~~ ~ ty for respecting our familys __________________ ~ Always, ocean

12-01-2014, 03:22 PM	#9
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: wildflower Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in raindrops Posts: 9,224 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,543 Thanked 21,858 Times in 7,003 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Kid-Friendly Veggies "Eat your veggies, they are good for you" was always greeted with various icky faces with not much success, so I found different ways to introduce veggies without making it a battle. Here are a few: I made a "No, thank you" bite rule. They had to try it at least once before they could say, no thanks. I pureed raw or cooked veggies into meatloaf, fruit smoothies etc. (this worked excellently!) I introduced new veggies by renaming them something appealing to a child carrots became pinnochio pencils, spinach became silly grass, broccoli became jillybean trees I mixed dried fruit into raw veggies (i still do this for myself) Try it raw, instead of cooking them! Cut and slice and make little faces, or animals and serve them on their own individual plates Plant a garden together-I had mine help me with pea patch and i never had any problems with peas! There is nothing more yummy then picking a pod and eating raw peas out of it. Lastly-cook with your kids, have them help you by casually making them in charge of the veggies. This almost always worked because they wanted to taste what they had made.

12-01-2014, 08:42 AM	#3
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,569 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,033 Thanked 11,054 Times in 1,494 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	in the midst of so much madness, knowing your child is free to discuss ANYTHING with you is integral. no matter the topic, no matter the hour, no matter the day. try never to relay your own predisposed prejudices or fears into her/him.

12-01-2014, 09:40 AM	#6
MsTinkerbelly Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ... Preferred Pronoun?: ... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ... Posts: 6,573 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,737 Thanked 22,925 Times in 5,021 Posts Rep Power: 0	Setting clear limits, letting them know what is expected of them as part of the family, and loving them in spite of themselves.

12-01-2014, 09:59 AM	#8
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,569 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,033 Thanked 11,054 Times in 1,494 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	this thread is going to be chock full of sage advice, i just know it. as parents, let us never forget to share humor with our child. show them that it is okay and awesome to be silly, goofy and laugh. laugh. and laugh some more. yes, of course we parents are the adults but please break into foolishness from to time. don't be so stiff. i see so many folks my age, so humor-less, so devoid of what life can be.

12-01-2014, 04:43 PM	#10
Candelion Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she/her/you Relationship Status: He can till my field. Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Canada Posts: 1,317 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,396 Thanked 4,031 Times in 896 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Children know how to play...don't micromanage their playtime. Let them teach you. __________________ http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l1...g?t=1416947695

12-01-2014, 04:51 PM	#11
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,862 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,110 Thanked 7,381 Times in 1,455 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Don't raise them overly worried about "happiness" . Raise them to be curious , resilient, and disciplined. Happy will take care of itself. __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

12-01-2014, 05:36 PM	#12
MysticOceansFL Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch, Preferred Pronoun?: People call me by my nic name. Relationship Status: Not Single, Not Desperate. Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Florida Posts: 3,833 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,645 Thanked 4,034 Times in 1,720 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I don't have any children but, I do have six nieces and six nephews all at some point have stayed with me for two weeks during the summer and I've always let them bake with me whatever I'm baking at the time but I think it's important to read bed time stories to kids to help give them imagination. __________________ Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation. It is said, " Some lives are linked across time..... Connected by an ancient calling that echoes through the ages "......

12-01-2014, 08:31 PM	#13
cricket26 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: must be love on the brain Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Texas Posts: 1,582 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 970 Thanked 4,232 Times in 1,297 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	i raised two children a boy and a girl...and the first 5 years are the most important...you will mold most of their personality and learn most of their strengths and weaknesses in those first 5 years...use those years wisely...and cherish them deeply....you wont regret it __________________ Life is a long lesson in humility. James M. Barrie

12-01-2014, 08:44 PM	#14
Vivacious1 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme Relationship Status: taken Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Louisiana Posts: 220 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 195 Thanked 795 Times in 178 Posts Rep Power: 6042525	I am assisting in raising my niece... the things I have learned that matter most are, Structure, Accountability and Don't sweat the small stuff... Praise often and correct when needed, but make sure the good stuff always outweighs the bad! __________________ Well behaved women rarely make history ...

12-02-2014, 07:24 PM	#15
cricket26 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: must be love on the brain Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Texas Posts: 1,582 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 970 Thanked 4,232 Times in 1,297 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	this post on my facebook by a basketball coach reminded me that team sports really do reinforce some core values...both of my children played soccer, neither were very good...but both are more well rounded for having played on a team of their peers...if your child is not athletic, a non physical team can reinforce the same values...and parents of other team members can be of great moral support... __________________ Life is a long lesson in humility. James M. Barrie

12-02-2014, 07:36 PM	#16
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,417 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	When punishment is necessary, be clear and make sure your child understands why they are in trouble. Don't just assume that they know and understand what they did wrong. Also make the punishment fit the crime. I saw someone post something about have fun with your child. You want fun? Have a water balloon fight in the house with your child, they will think you are soooo cool! LOL mine did. Teach your child to be responsible and respectful. These 2 things will go a long way, in every situation in their life. __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

12-02-2014, 08:15 PM	#17
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,569 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,033 Thanked 11,054 Times in 1,494 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	i was raised with being highly competitive, in sports and academics. my daughter made it fairly clear early on that she would prefer not to compete. in. anything. must admit that was difficult for me in the beginning, so with time and understanding what makes her tick, i get it now. (for her) it has paid off not to push what was important to me growing up onto her. now, she is becoming her own person, not just a mirror image of me.

12-02-2014, 11:41 PM	#18
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: loved by many Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 15,301 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 28,995 Thanked 40,850 Times in 10,667 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	Learn to see life thru their eyes, you will be happy too! __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.

12-03-2014, 12:16 AM	#19
ProfPacker Member How Do You Identify?: butch/MOC Preferred Pronoun?: Hy/hym/hys but in circumstances like work and some other places she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: nj Posts: 1,365 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,023 Thanked 4,814 Times in 1,187 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	All these things make sense. I have learned to also let them start to take responsibility for their consequences, you will not be in the world with them all the time. Be honest, like someone said, don't sweat the small stuff, choose your battle. Be there to listen, respect their space and privacy. Trust that even though as teens they become subhuman, they will pull out of it and have a sense of respect and kindness and empathy for others if you model that. (I finally learned that going ballistic at times does nothing except get tears from all and a sore throat) lol

12-03-2014, 02:02 AM	#20
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,936 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	When I was 10 I had a big issue with an uncle abusing me,I told my mom and she didn't be leave me.This happened again when another uncle call me a worthless chunk of s87t while she was standing there and did not a thing about it ever.Thank goodness my grannie stood up for me and did take care of the issue, big time.By mom ding this set the tone of a distrustful and bad relationship that never got better ever.Please don't let this happen to you and your child.