Single FTM's & Femme's

[ScandalAndy]

Well, I was at dinner with a friend the other night, and the server referred to us as "ladies" again. I'm sick to death of being the one who gets all agitated and flatly states "he's a boy". Inevitably the server gets flustered and apologizes, and this person whom I've known for years now just sits there silently. I know he's pissed because he passes 100% of the time, it's just his voice that is the problem. He's property of the US government for the next 8 years, and while DADT has been repealed, being trans is still a big no-no.

I wish I knew how to handle these situations. I just get so outraged. One of us has to say something, and I know he doesn't correct people because he's too busy being in shock. Any suggestions? I'm not afraid to stand up and say something, I just wish it was less awkward.

[KimbaYLRF]

I have been this thread daily and I have never met a trans person in my life, but I feel what you all are going through.

I wish this was a time everyone was open-minded but sadly things are not like that. I would love someone no matter who or what they were so long as they are a good person.

[Liam]

Well, I was at dinner with a friend the other night, and the server referred to us as "ladies" again. I'm sick to death of being the one who gets all agitated and flatly states "he's a boy". Inevitably the server gets flustered and apologizes, and this person whom I've known for years now just sits there silently. I know he's pissed because he passes 100% of the time, it's just his voice that is the problem. He's property of the US government for the next 8 years, and while DADT has been repealed, being trans is still a big no-no.

I wish I knew how to handle these situations. I just get so outraged. One of us has to say something, and I know he doesn't correct people because he's too busy being in shock. Any suggestions? I'm not afraid to stand up and say something, I just wish it was less awkward.

I think humor goes a long way in situations like this, and laughter seems to quickly diffuse the tension for everyone in a scenario like the one you described.

Comments directed to your friend, while the server is present after their faux pas, such as, "Gee, I bet you wish you hadn't taken your Mama's Midol when you were a little boy!" or "Wayne Newton did well in Vegas with his voice, maybe we should go there."

It doesn't matter that Midol could never alter someone's voice, nor that your friend would never dream of singing in front of people. You are not jumping the server, and you are being supportive of your male friend, and hopefully everyone is smiling.

[sarahwho]

Hey there, hi there, ho there.....been around, just not :jester: - had some bank issues, today that is straightened out, then I find out my son is spending my $$ at the academy, and NOT saying anything about it! :readfineprint: BUT now I know....I will NEVER be out from "under" - :worried:

[VintageFemme]

Just saying hello to everyone too! Hope the week is going swimmingly well ... quick, effortless and full of smiles.

[atomiczombie]

Hi everyone! :)

[atomiczombie]

Single FTM seeks single femme for fun and flirting.

Me: old fashion, charming, Stone Top, mad skills, silly, sweet, and happy to stay single.

You: live within a couple hours or so from the bay area/sacramento, very feminine, sexual bottom, sweet, kind, level headed, up for some fun, not looking to get serious.

I don't have a lot of money for expensive dates. I am just looking for some light dating and sex without commitment. Safe sex is a must. Thanks for reading! :D

[Leigh]

Just came in to say hi to all of My fellow guys & the beautiful girls who enjoy us :)

[ScandalAndy]

I don't know where else to put this, but I have to get it out, so I hope you all don't mind me putting it here.



One of my close friends is in the beginning stages of transition. We went to Friendly's because he had just finished a long recording session, and I'm never one to turn down ice cream. As is my custom, I survey the table we are going to be seated at, and position myself to best avoid conflict. I noticed that the table to the left had two high school aged girls facing our table, and the table to the right was unoccupied, so of course I sat on the right so I could keep an eye on the high schooler situation. Five minutes after we sat down they both got up to "go to the bathroom" and peeked over at our table repeatedly as they passed. Fifteen minutes later one of them went to the bathroom again. As they were about to leave, both of them went to the bathroom AGAIN, and on their way back, as they're standing next to our table one looks at the other and says "oh my god you're right, it IS a girl".

They went up to the front counter and stood next to their mother and I turned ten shades of red. My friend looked at me with big eyes and said quietly "did that really just happen?" I had a five second debate with myself, tossed my phone on the table, and got up. I walked up to those two girls and I said to them "It is completely inappropriate to repeatedly walk by someone's table and look at their chest to try and determine their gender. Furthermore, you should use "he or she" if you think someone is a boy or a girl. The use of the word "it" is completely dehumanizing and utterly unacceptable." Then I turned around and went back to my table to try and comfort my friend, who was shattered by the whole experience.

I put my happy face on and joked, cheered up my friend, and kept an eagle eye on those two girls who were with their mother in the front entryway, gesturing wildly. Luckily, they left.

Our waitress came over to our table and asked if we needed anything else. I apologized for causing a scene, and she said "Honestly, I heard them talking but I had no idea they were harassing you. If I had known something was going to happen, I would have had it taken care of. I'm so sorry, they need to grow up".

I was so angry I was shaking, but I never once raised my voice with those girls, and our waitress was on our side. Now if only we could get to the point where people don't have to act like this and hurt others.

Thanks for listening, all. Let me know if this should be moved to a diff thread.

[morningstar55]

morning to singles have a awsome monday!! :)

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o199/morningstar1955/acdcmug.jpg

[atomiczombie]

I don't know where else to put this, but I have to get it out, so I hope you all don't mind me putting it here.



One of my close friends is in the beginning stages of transition. We went to Friendly's because he had just finished a long recording session, and I'm never one to turn down ice cream. As is my custom, I survey the table we are going to be seated at, and position myself to best avoid conflict. I noticed that the table to the left had two high school aged girls facing our table, and the table to the right was unoccupied, so of course I sat on the right so I could keep an eye on the high schooler situation. Five minutes after we sat down they both got up to "go to the bathroom" and peeked over at our table repeatedly as they passed. Fifteen minutes later one of them went to the bathroom again. As they were about to leave, both of them went to the bathroom AGAIN, and on their way back, as they're standing next to our table one looks at the other and says "oh my god you're right, it IS a girl".

They went up to the front counter and stood next to their mother and I turned ten shades of red. My friend looked at me with big eyes and said quietly "did that really just happen?" I had a five second debate with myself, tossed my phone on the table, and got up. I walked up to those two girls and I said to them "It is completely inappropriate to repeatedly walk by someone's table and look at their chest to try and determine their gender. Furthermore, you should use "he or she" if you think someone is a boy or a girl. The use of the word "it" is completely dehumanizing and utterly unacceptable." Then I turned around and went back to my table to try and comfort my friend, who was shattered by the whole experience.

I put my happy face on and joked, cheered up my friend, and kept an eagle eye on those two girls who were with their mother in the front entryway, gesturing wildly. Luckily, they left.

Our waitress came over to our table and asked if we needed anything else. I apologized for causing a scene, and she said "Honestly, I heard them talking but I had no idea they were harassing you. If I had known something was going to happen, I would have had it taken care of. I'm so sorry, they need to grow up".

I was so angry I was shaking, but I never once raised my voice with those girls, and our waitress was on our side. Now if only we could get to the point where people don't have to act like this and hurt others.

Thanks for listening, all. Let me know if this should be moved to a diff thread.

Good for you for standing up for him! That's awesome. You are truly a good friend. :)

[Heavenleahangel]

Just popping in to say "Hi" to everyone! Been gone a while....

[atomiczombie]

*ahem*

<----single. :D

[GPS]

Its nice to see more ppl interacting with FtM's
have a great day

[Leigh]

Just saying hi to everyone :)

[ScandalAndy]

Good morning guys and girls!

I've been struggling a lot with being lonely. Since we're all single, and at least some of us are open to finding a relationship, I figure I'm probably not the only one.

How do you deal with it?

I love to give gifts, come up with little surprises just to see the smile on the recipient's face. There are so many things I want to do, but they're too romantic to do for friends.

How the heck do I help myself get over it and move on? You can't force a relationship, and you can't make someone like you if they don't think of you that way. Now I need to figure out what I CAN do to keep myself out of gloomy town.

Any suggestions?

[GPS]

Just wanted to wish you all a Happy Holiday Season!

[veryfemme]

I am a very femme single who loves sweet FTMs :) I hope everyone has a great holiday season!

[Liam]

Good morning guys and girls!

I've been struggling a lot with being lonely. Since we're all single, and at least some of us are open to finding a relationship, I figure I'm probably not the only one.

How do you deal with it?

I love to give gifts, come up with little surprises just to see the smile on the recipient's face. There are so many things I want to do, but they're too romantic to do for friends.

How the heck do I help myself get over it and move on? You can't force a relationship, and you can't make someone like you if they don't think of you that way. Now I need to figure out what I CAN do to keep myself out of gloomy town.

Any suggestions?

Volunteer. Become a Big Sister. Adopt an elderly person. Refocus that energy toward those with whom you will not have romantic feelings for.

[sarahwho]

Just popping in to say "Hi" to everyone! Been gone a while....

Me too! Thought I'd say hi again!

[Leigh]

Still single & hoping :)

[Library_girl]

(Ditto to my friend Matthew......still single and still hoping!)

I've been away from the Planet for a few weeks so I had to drop in and say hello. Too much work, not enough time for myself.

ScandalAndy, I appreciate your post about loneliness, and I love Liam's suggestion. I struggle with loneliness too, sometimes, as I'm sure many of us do. I'm guessing lots of us nodded our heads as we read that post. The holiday season doesn't make it any easier, right? Since I don't have a partner to spoil with gifts, baking, other special holiday stuff, I just give all of that "holiday spirit" to my niece and nephew, my dad, my friends, my employees. And when it comes to just plain old loneliness, I try to focus on other things, like family, friends, pets, work, anything to keep the brain occupied. Liam's idea is much better, though! But when my time is short, I just have to keep my brain busy. There are times I just HATE being single. Sure, there are a few good things about being single, and I even have married friends who envy my "freedom", and so on. (whatever!) I will happily trade in those little "advantages" any time, any day, no hesitation.

Ok, enough rambling!

[veryfemme]

I know we are all single and looking for love but I am curious as to how many would actually relocate for a possible relationship? I moved for my recently failed relationship and I am looking to move back to my home area within a year to two years. Just a question I thought I'd throw out there.

[Leigh]

(Ditto to my friend Matthew......still single and still hoping!)

I've been away from the Planet for a few weeks so I had to drop in and say hello. Too much work, not enough time for myself.

ScandalAndy, I appreciate your post about loneliness, and I love Liam's suggestion. I struggle with loneliness too, sometimes, as I'm sure many of us do. I'm guessing lots of us nodded our heads as we read that post. The holiday season doesn't make it any easier, right? Since I don't have a partner to spoil with gifts, baking, other special holiday stuff, I just give all of that "holiday spirit" to my niece and nephew, my dad, my friends, my employees. And when it comes to just plain old loneliness, I try to focus on other things, like family, friends, pets, work, anything to keep the brain occupied. Liam's idea is much better, though! But when my time is short, I just have to keep my brain busy. There are times I just HATE being single. Sure, there are a few good things about being single, and I even have married friends who envy my "freedom", and so on. (whatever!) I will happily trade in those little "advantages" any time, any day, no hesitation.

Ok, enough rambling!

(((((((((((Library)))))))))))) I miss talking to My friend, I hope you are doing well sweetie ......... lets chat again sometime :rrose:

I know we are all single and looking for love but I am curious as to how many would actually relocate for a possible relationship? I moved for my recently failed relationship and I am looking to move back to my home area within a year to two years. Just a question I thought I'd throw out there.

I would definately consider moving for the right one. Right now I am registered for college and should graduate by the end of October 2012 so after that I am free to go where I want ~ this time would be perfect to get to know someone thus if I ever was to move I will know its right :)

[spritzerJ]

I know we are all single and looking for love but I am curious as to how many would actually relocate for a possible relationship? I moved for my recently failed relationship and I am looking to move back to my home area within a year to two years. Just a question I thought I'd throw out there.

I moved for a relationship that didn't work out. It was a spectacular fail. I don't think I'd relocate again. At least not the same way. I'd do it very differently if I could be convinced. I don't know if I will move back to my home area or not yet. We'll see. :rubberducky:

[kannon]

I know we are all single and looking for love but I am curious as to how many would actually relocate for a possible relationship? I moved for my recently failed relationship and I am looking to move back to my home area within a year to two years. Just a question I thought I'd throw out there.

I moved to my current location for a relationship. Before I moved, I got a pretty good job here. Even though the relationship failed, I tried to make the most of it, and give the city a chance. Six years later, I still don't like this area, and I'm planning on moving, but I am accomplishing some stuff: I bought a house and I'm going to complete my masters. I think I've made lemonade out of lemons.

I would do it all over again for the right woman. However, the next time, I will be more selective.

[sarahwho]

Probably wouldn't move. My parent's are here, work, my son's academy......sigh....then again, some day down the road, I might change my mind....it's been known to happen.

[ScandalAndy]

I've done it with disastrous consequences, but I would probably do it again after taking my sweet time making sure the person I'm considering doing it for would absolutely do the same for me. It's a respect thing.


I know we are all single and looking for love but I am curious as to how many would actually relocate for a possible relationship? I moved for my recently failed relationship and I am looking to move back to my home area within a year to two years. Just a question I thought I'd throw out there.

[atomiczombie]

I can't move because I need to be close to my daughter. And my parents are elderly and need my help a lot too.

[VintageFemme]

I know we are all single and looking for love but I am curious as to how many would actually relocate for a possible relationship? I moved for my recently failed relationship and I am looking to move back to my home area within a year to two years. Just a question I thought I'd throw out there.

I did it once with disastrous results but then there were some very extreme circumstances that surrounded and led up to that relocation. Would I do it again? I don't know. I'm very rooted where I live but then I have done a lot less for love so, yeah I probably would .... if it were the right thing to do. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

[Julien]

Would I move for a love relationship? I think I would if the circumstances were just right for me and her. Especially the job front. I think it would put undue burdens on the relationship if one of the couple has no job prospects. Am I being too realistic not a romantic? The question is how do we know when the circumstances are right? A lot of honest communication and visits. A bit of a reality check along with the romance of the relationship, that is where honesty comes in. I can dream can't I?

[veryfemme]

I think the job aspect is extremely important. I was lucky when I moved for someone I got an awesome job and that is what has kept me where I am, if not for the job I know for sure I would have moved back to be closer to my family. I guess the move question is the hardest of them all.

[QueenofSmirks]

I think the much bigger question is "What would it take for you to move?" The moving itself seems inconsequential if you have a great job lined up, you've spent every other weekend together for a year, and a continuous week twice in the last six months, and you're compatible, in love and the planets are aligned.

However, that rarely seems to be the case, and I'm continuously astonished at how quickly people move out of state for someone they've only spent a few days with real time. Yes, there are phone calls every day and tons of time online, but it boils down to a few days in real time, and that just isn't long enough to get to know someone, in my opinion. I think there are definitely success stories, but I also believe there was a lot of luck involved there, because again, how can you really make a truly informed and intelligent decision on whether to live with someone if you've only spent 10 or 20 or even 30 days of face-to-face time with them? I'm definitely not old fashioned - I'm just cautious. I'm also not someone who needs to be with someone; I'm perfectly happy being single, or just dating, so there is no driving force for me to want to live with someone, and the older I get, the more I appreciate my own space and don't want to live with anyone. Less fuss that way :)

[Leigh]

Just wanted to come in & say hello to everyone :)

[veryfemme]

Hiiii :) back

Just wanted to come in & say hello to everyone :)

[sarahwho]

Happy New Year to all!

[Heavenleahangel]

Just popping in to say "Hello" to all and wish everyone the happiest and healthiest of New Years!

[atomiczombie]

Happy New Year everyone! :)

[VintageFemme]

Happy New Year Everyone ♥ !!!

[ScandalAndy]

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Let's get with the excellent newness!

[Leigh]

Hey everyone, just came in to wish all of My friends and fellow singles a fantastic 2012 :-)

**waves hello to veryfemme** :rrose:

[TenderKnight]

Hello, all :)

I have been away from this site for well over a year now, but thought I would swing on by and see what was happening.. Some may remember me and some may not, lol

I will refrain from posting a full out personal ad, but I am looking to date some folks.. Not really looking to move in with someone or move across country, lol.. But if you and I happen to be in the same area at the same time, coffee and conversation never hurt anyone, has it? :)

I see this thread has been a lil slow lately, but i will keep my eyes open :)

-Tony

[Leigh]

Not exactly in your area Tender, but figured I'd say hi anyways as well as to everyone else in the group :)

[TenderKnight]

Not exactly in your area Tender, but figured I'd say hi anyways as well as to everyone else in the group :)

Well hello, Leigh :) Thanks for the "hi".. Where in Canada are you? I visited the East Coast of Canada a few years back, never been to the West Coast..

[Leigh]

Well hello, Leigh :) Thanks for the "hi".. Where in Canada are you? I visited the East Coast of Canada a few years back, never been to the West Coast..


I'm actually in the middle of the country, in Manitoba, where we are getting absolutely gorgeous weather! I had a nice walk this afternoon, the sun was shining and while it was warm I enjoyed just getting out of the house ~ hopefully your getting nice weather in your neck of the woods too :)

[TenderKnight]

:) Leigh, it was actually very nice weather today.. Even got to go for a swim in the ocean for a bit, first time this year.. Have to admit, the water was COLD, lol. Glad you got to get out and enjoy your day :)

[Leigh]

:) Leigh, it was actually very nice weather today.. Even got to go for a swim in the ocean for a bit, first time this year.. Have to admit, the water was COLD, lol. Glad you got to get out and enjoy your day :)


It'll be nice to be near the water this summer, though I burn easily so I'd better make sure I keep alot of sunscreen around or I'll be a lobster lol ~ I did very much enjoy my day thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed yours too :)