Cancer Support and Caregivers Who Are Trail Blazers!

[JustJo]

I know this isn't the "What Are You Listening To Now" thread, but a good friend sent me this....wonderful stuff and so true for me. :rrose:

HkmVGVuh960

[pynkkameleon]

How is everyone doing? Jo.. you have very much been on my mind. I hope you are finding some peace and healing.

It's a beautiful, sunny day here in Alaska. It's supposed to warm up and maybe get into the mid 50's. Cold to the rest of you I'm sure, but for those that live here, it's reason to put on shorts and tank tops. I still haven't quite adapted to the temperatures here but I have to admit that the 50's sound wonderful, especially compared to the sub zero temps we had during the winter. The sights and sounds of spring are everywhere. I love Spring. It represents life and new beginnings. It renews our energy and everyone seems to smile more; smiles that are wonderfully contagious.

I have had lots of little reminders as of late to be thankful for the little things.. Well to others they may seem little, but we all know better don't we...? I take much less for granted nowadays and while I still have my occasional grumpy and/or feel like "poo" days here and there, there is no doubt that life is much more precious to me after Cancer. The little things are much more visible and are viewed with new and appreciative eyes.

Cancer can steal many things from us, but I am learning to find those little things that it cannot take away from me. I'd say that's progress of the best kind.

I hope you all are finding and enjoying the little things too...

[Tommi]

How is everyone doing? Jo.. you have very much been on my mind. I hope you are finding some peace and healing.

It's a beautiful, sunny day here in Alaska. It's supposed to warm up and maybe get into the mid 50's. Cold to the rest of you I'm sure, but for those that live here, it's reason to put on shorts and tank tops. I still haven't quite adapted to the temperatures here but I have to admit that the 50's sound wonderful, especially compared to the sub zero temps we had during the winter. The sights and sounds of spring are everywhere. I love Spring. It represents life and new beginnings. It renews our energy and everyone seems to smile more; smiles that are wonderfully contagious.

I have had lots of little reminders as of late to be thankful for the little things.. Well to others they may seem little, but we all know better don't we...? I take much less for granted nowadays and while I still have my occasional grumpy and/or feel like "poo" days here and there, there is no doubt that life is much more precious to me after Cancer. The little things are much more visible and are viewed with new and appreciative eyes.

Cancer can steal many things from us, but I am learning to find those little things that it cannot take away from me. I'd say that's progress of the best kind.

I hope you all are finding and enjoying the little things too...

Glad you are hvaing such a heat wave. :)

"""Cancer can steal many things from us, but I am learning to find those little things that it cannot take away from me. I'd say that's progress of the best kind."""

Yes, Vonni, we see progress in the little things. Green, a favorite thing. To many it is just a primary color. I watch for the sprigs of green in my tended yard.

My garden is in bloom.New growth, the fresh bright colors and a reminder that, in all things there is hope.

Hope the dirt will open and a little green sprout will grow into something wonderful every year, and we thrill to see it again and again.

I will plant my 8th rose bush in a few weeks. May 15th I will celebrate 8 cancer free years.

[Dude]

the people I've lost to cancer : (it feels like a fucking lot some days but it has given me a bigger appreciation of how I want to live and I'm now a lot less tolerant of nonsense)
both good things!


childhood friend to leukemia
two male friends to Aids
two time breast cancer survivor (mom) who then developed brain cancer
friend with liver cancer
co-worker with pancreatic cancer
best friend of 27 years to cancer / sleep apnea / heart failure ( a combo)
grandma
great aunt


(grieving is a fucking bitch).....(f):candle:(f)
NQYfiXbcH1c

[bkisbutchenuff]

Woke up to the newd that a HS friend - very talented young lady, passed away after battling cancer for a year or month...either way...I am totally shocked and speechless! Life is so short....

[Tommi]

Woke up to the newd that a HS friend - very talented young lady, passed away after battling cancer for a year or month...either way...I am totally shocked and speechless! Life is so short....

Sorry to hear of the loss of someone in your life.

Yes , life can be cut short, be fragile and cancer doesn't care. Hope you are doing well.
Tommihttp://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01465/candles_1465602c.jpg

[clay]

Debby had her surgery this afternoon...she is doing good, is just getting settled into her room, and will be in touch later tomorrow...keep Debby in your thoughts......I will update tomorrow when I hear form her again....

[DapperButch]

Debby had her surgery this afternoon...she is doing good, is just getting settled into her room, and will be in touch later tomorrow...keep Debby in your thoughts......I will update tomorrow when I hear form her again....

Thanks so much for the update, Clay!

[pynkkameleon]

the people I've lost to cancer : (it feels like a fucking lot some days but it has given me a bigger appreciation of how I want to live and I'm now a lot less tolerant of nonsense)
both good things!

You've suffered so many losses. Lives that were taken too soon. Living life YOUR way and being less tolerant of nonsense are very, very good things. To do anything else only cheats ourselves in the long run. Thank you for the reminder and for sharing.

Woke up to the newd that a HS friend - very talented young lady, passed away after battling cancer for a year or month...either way...I am totally shocked and speechless! Life is so short....

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend =( Keep your memories of her close and remember her always with a smile. Sending you gentle hugs.

Debby had her surgery this afternoon...she is doing good, is just getting settled into her room, and will be in touch later tomorrow...keep Debby in your thoughts......I will update tomorrow when I hear form her again....

Thank you for the update Clay. Glad to hear that she is doing well. Sending thoughts of healing.

[clay]

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend =( Keep your memories of her
Thank you for the update Clay. Glad to hear that she is doing well. Sending thoughts of healing.

Thanks, Vonni! I heard from her this am..she was in a lot of pain but maintaining that fighting spirit and humor of hers...I just love her so much...she is a phenomenal lady...and appreciates your well wishes to her!! Send her a message...she is on the Planet here...Debby is her handle...she will see ti when she is up to logging on here....have an awesome day yourself Miss Vonni!!!

[clay]

Thanks Dapper & Vonni!!! She was in pain this am, but still with her humor....possibility she may go home this afternoon. She appreciates everyone's sentiments much!! Thank all of you...Clay

[clay]

Debby was discharged home late last night, and is recuperating at a friend's. She sends her warmest thanks to all of you and says she will be back online in a few days...when she is up to it.
Sending much love and healing thoughts your way, my beautiful friend!!:rrose:

[Tommi]

Caregivers are my hero.

By default have been an off-site caregiver of my Ex (1997) since mid Sept. 2011.

24/7 the worry, the strain, the confusion, the anger. the love, the get-out of my face, please don't leave me, the I want to die, I don't want to die.

" I TOOK my pills". Well what are these ? "I don't know, you must have put them there. "

Learning about sickness when it is up close and personal. She was victimized by her son the beginning of this April, and is now in a state of sadness, shock and loss and last night told me she is numb.

This morning, Leia, the daughter we raised called from the house (she is here for 4 days from Ohio, and needs to get back to her kids) said, Bama wants to go for Fish and Chips to Dana Point Harbor where we used to when I was little.

AHhhhhhhh, life can turn on a dime.

Soon to celebrate 8 years cancer free, I am realizing what a blessed life I have lead.

Love goes around amnd comes back in the stangest of times. We separated in 1997 for Gosh sake. We (Leia, Peg and I) are seeing an attorney this afternoon, about Advanced Directives , property, wills, living trusts, and ....end of life arrangements

Please know , if you are a caregiver I LOVE YOU ,and u have my utmost respect.... or become a caregiver, it is one hella feeling when you get that smile that says, I know you are doing what is best for me..

[DapperButch]

Caregivers are my hero.

Please know , if you are a caregiver I LOVE YOU ,and u have my utmost respect.... or become a caregiver, it is one hella feeling when you get that smile that says, I know you are doing what is best for me..

I agree! A shout out to my caregiver, tantalizingfemme! :hangloose: (f)

[pynkkameleon]

A friend and former colleague of mine was just diagnosed in April with stage 4 lung cancer. It had spread to her pancreas. She passed away over the weekend. It happened so quickly. I found out last night. I didn't get to say goodbye ...

She was an amazing lady. Tough as nails professionally but a very giving and compassionate woman. She was a mentor of sorts for me and others as well. She will be very much missed.

Yet another life taken away by this horrible and selfish disease. I f**king hate cancer!

[clay]

Here...here...on shout out to the caregiver!!!
I posted before, and will gladly do so again...countyfem was my awesome and wonderful caregiver!! I will never forget her time, care, love, and devotion to me...during that journey! Thank you, countyfem!!!
{{{{{{{{{{VONNI}}}}}}}}}}}...I am so sorry about the loss of your dear friend....yes this dreaded disease DOES suckin' fluck!!!
{{{{{{{{{debby}}}}}}}}}}}}} I spoke with her a good long while yesterday...she is mending amd healing.....was good to chat with her and hear her humor...I LOVE that woman!!! Godspeed woman!!!

[Tommi]

http://www.my-space-layouts.com/goodmorning%20(13).gif

I am in need of the above. Please make it a great day. Each one counts.

[deb_U_taunt]

JO!!!!!
Hugs to you. I am so sorry to hear your mom passed away. I feel like I have neglected my family here. :( I hope you are doing well and taking care of yourself.

[deb_U_taunt]

I have been keeping busy, taking dogs to the park, spending time with nieces and working. I knew the time would be coming for me to have to take another break from my life. Last Wednesday I had a double mastectomy, with no reconstruction. (I didn't want to go through any further surgeries). I am doing okay, the first week was a bit rough, but I added to my own misery by trying to do a load of laundry. I have learned my lesson and am taking it easy again. I go to the Dr tomorrow and hoping to have the drains removed. Dr said one to two weeks and still getting fluid, so not sure if I am stuck for another week. I also hope to get the pathology report tomorrow. I am home from work until June 4th, so I will be back online. I missed everyone. :)

[JustJo]

So glad to see you back Debby...and no more doing laundry! Take care of yourself and take time to heal. You deserve it! Big hugs... :gimmehug:

[DapperButch]

I have been keeping busy, taking dogs to the park, spending time with nieces and working. I knew the time would be coming for me to have to take another break from my life. Last Wednesday I had a double mastectomy, with no reconstruction. (I didn't want to go through any further surgeries). I am doing okay, the first week was a bit rough, but I added to my own misery by trying to do a load of laundry. I have learned my lesson and am taking it easy again. I go to the Dr tomorrow and hoping to have the drains removed. Dr said one to two weeks and still getting fluid, so not sure if I am stuck for another week. I also hope to get the pathology report tomorrow. I am home from work until June 4th, so I will be back online. I missed everyone. :)

Hey, there, buddy. Good to see you. It is amazing how quickly you are up around and moving after a double masectomy. The dog park??? Take it easy...you will have time to play before June 4th!

I'll be thinkin' about ya!

[Tommi]

I have been keeping busy, taking dogs to the park, spending time with nieces and working. I knew the time would be coming for me to have to take another break from my life. Last Wednesday I had a double mastectomy, with no reconstruction. (I didn't want to go through any further surgeries). I am doing okay, the first week was a bit rough, but I added to my own misery by trying to do a load of laundry. I have learned my lesson and am taking it easy again. I go to the Dr tomorrow and hoping to have the drains removed. Dr said one to two weeks and still getting fluid, so not sure if I am stuck for another week. I also hope to get the pathology report tomorrow. I am home from work until June 4th, so I will be back online. I missed everyone. :)

http://static.pplaylist.com/uimg/0/p/f/i16287569921p.jpg

[deb_U_taunt]

Hey, there, buddy. Good to see you. It is amazing how quickly you are up around and moving after a double masectomy. The dog park??? Take it easy...you will have time to play before June 4th!

I'll be thinkin' about ya!

OH NO...those were things I was keeping myself busy doing knowing I was going to be home for a few weeks after surgery. So far since surgery I have been home whiniing and taking pain pills. Went to the Dr yesterday and he removed 2 of the 4 drains. Tuesday he said he will remove the other 2.

[deb_U_taunt]

So glad to see you back Debby...and no more doing laundry! Take care of yourself and take time to heal. You deserve it! Big hugs... :gimmehug:

Thank you :)
My niece is coming over tomorrow to do laundry for me.

[DapperButch]

OH NO...those were things I was keeping myself busy doing knowing I was going to be home for a few weeks after surgery. So far since surgery I have been home whiniing and taking pain pills. Went to the Dr yesterday and he removed 2 of the 4 drains. Tuesday he said he will remove the other 2.

Now that sounds more like it! :huhlaugh: :(

[clay]

Hey everyone...just dropped by to say I saw my surgical oncologist yesterday, and my CEA (tumor cell count in my blood) is "less than 1" and I will get these done every 3 months, for life now. My scans didn't show any new cancers either.....whoohoooo!!!
I DO have a ventral hernia...soooo I am being referred to a surgical specialist who does nothing but these hernias, laparoscopically. I will see her in about 3 months.
As far as the pain I have in my right flank, and under my liver....we will continue to watch, and see if it is "surgical incison healing".
The malaise & fatigue are slightly improved...will take time as that surgery, which was done just 5 months ago today...was with a huge toll on my body, having TWO major abd. surgeries consecutively. My prenatal vitamins and extra iron, as well as B12 shots monthly for life, will help this eventually. I am so very thankful!!! for being as healthy as I am.....thank the Universe & goddesses!!!
My doctor says every time we get a good CEA result, I am getting to be a "longer term" survivor of colon cancer!!!! THis was very reassuring to me...smiles..
Thank all of you...for always thinking of me, keeping me in prayers, holding me close, and walking this path. I heart you all...love..Clay

[firegal]

Long time Ms Vonnie,

Vonnie sorry to hear about your friend.

I agree on how you feel about "C"

Von my lil sis was diagnosed with stage 4, 3 years ago. Experimental drugs/chemo has blessed us with having her here in our lives.She is slowly becoming more and more fragile.

her partner is the most caring wonderfull lady. Yes my lil sis is gay too! her partner moves heaven and earth for my sis.

Hugs to you Von!


Terry

[pynkkameleon]

Terry,

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister and her ongoing battle with this disease. Your family has been through so much. She is clearly a fighter like you, and is surrounded by a wonderful group of supportive and loving caregivers. I pray that the treatment she receives will continue to give her more time.

My "numbers" are holding steady right now. I'm due for the dreaded scans again but they don't hold as much power over me as they did a year or even 6 months ago. A good thing I think. I've recently hit little milestones worth celebrating, including my two year mark. Yay! All continuous reminders to cherish each moment of every day and the people that surround and support me.

It's really good to hear from you. It seems forever since we last caught up. You should see how big the twins have gotten. Ten years old now and keeping this Mama on her toes! They grow up way too fast.

Please keep me posted on how you and your sister are doing. I'll be keeping you all in my thoughts.

Big hugs!

[pynkkameleon]

Clay,

I'm so glad to hear that your Onco visit went well! Bummer about the hernia but at least it can be dealt with laparoscopically.

It's amazing how much surgery can sap a persons energy, especially when they are back to back like that.

Sending my own woohoo's for you and my thank you's as well. You do so much to support, encourage and lift us all up.

Many hugs!

[clay]

Hi Vonni:
THank you for the post! It means so much to me.
Yes, having two major abd. surgeries at same time...in 6 hr period wiped me out. I am getting my strength back a little along but some days I am just so fatigued..as are most folks here who haved faced this same diagnosis (C). It just takes time is all.
I try hard to focus on the positives and support and encourage others. I am their biggest fan..sometimes all it takes to get someone to fight is someone to believe and that helps another to fight...I know it did for me.
Hoping you continue to make those small steps and keep up that awesome attitude my friend. Good to see you here....hugs..Clay

[Rockinonahigh]

Hi Vonni:
THank you for the post! It means so much to me.
Yes, having two major abd. surgeries at same time...in 6 hr period wiped me out. I am getting my strength back a little along but some days I am just so fatigued..as are most folks here who haved faced this same diagnosis (C). It just takes time is all.
I try hard to focus on the positives and support and encourage others. I am their biggest fan..sometimes all it takes to get someone to fight is someone to believe and that helps another to fight...I know it did for me.
Hoping you continue to make those small steps and keep up that awesome attitude my friend. Good to see you here....hugs..Clay


Man am I glad to hear this news,congrats,big butch hug to you my friend.

[Novelafemme]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ihGCj5mfCk8

I can't figure out the Youtube video thing, but this is an awesome video Katy posted on her FB page this morning that I just love. Enjoy :)

[pynkkameleon]

There are some days (thankfully not many) when I wake up and find myself riding the rails of the pity train. Today was one of those days.

Then something or someone comes along and I get kicked back into reality.

Thank you for sharing that video.. It brought tears, smiles and that extra bit of strength I needed to get back up, dust my hindquarters off and chase the blues away ~

[DapperButch]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ihGCj5mfCk8

I can't figure out the Youtube video thing, but this is an awesome video Katy posted on her FB page this morning that I just love. Enjoy :)

Wow. This is SO fantastic, Novela! I remember dragging those bags of poison (chemo) around on a pole! Egad. Memories.

I love seeing both the kids and the nurses kick cancer's ass!

I don't have a FB account, but am going to ask TF to post it to hers.

[deb_U_taunt]

my daughter sent me this, it is wonderful :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ihGCj5mfCk8

I can't figure out the Youtube video thing, but this is an awesome video Katy posted on her FB page this morning that I just love. Enjoy :)

[Tommi]

Wow, what a beautiful day.
http://i614.photobucket.com/albums/tt224/chixdiggit2000/sacredgeo2.jpg

For me..

Cancer came rushing in, took my breath away, pulled the carpet out from under me , then, breathing deep, I turned the hourglass over and started again.


Realizing this morning that yesterday was my anniversary, and it whizzed right by.

May 15, 8 years I ago I had a total radical hysterectomy, oopherectomy and 16 plus lymph nodes removed..surgery for endometrial cancer.

Those that know me ~understood that I Knew they had made a mistake. Surely they had it wrong.... and it must have been prostate cancer. :)

Celebrate...:mohawk:(f)

[clay]

Awesome milestone, Tommi! Keep that amazingly positive attitude and that wonderful humor...and you will win always! Hugs and congrats brutha!!Wow, what a beautiful day.
http://i614.photobucket.com/albums/tt224/chixdiggit2000/sacredgeo2.jpg

For me..

Cancer came rushing in, took my breath away, pulled the carpet out from under me , then, breathing deep, I turned the hourglass over and started again.


Realizing this morning that yesterday was my anniversary, and it whizzed right by.

May 15, 8 years I ago I had a total radical hysterectomy, oopherectomy and 16 plus lymph nodes removed..surgery for endometrial cancer.

Those that know me ~understood that I Knew they had made a mistake. Surely they had it wrong.... and it must have been prostate cancer. :)

Celebrate...:mohawk:(f)

[deb_U_taunt]

Tommi!!!! Hugs to you! What a great milestone :)

Hope you go out and do something nice for yourself to celebrate it.



Wow, what a beautiful day.
http://i614.photobucket.com/albums/tt224/chixdiggit2000/sacredgeo2.jpg

For me..

Cancer came rushing in, took my breath away, pulled the carpet out from under me , then, breathing deep, I turned the hourglass over and started again.


Realizing this morning that yesterday was my anniversary, and it whizzed right by.

May 15, 8 years I ago I had a total radical hysterectomy, oopherectomy and 16 plus lymph nodes removed..surgery for endometrial cancer.

Those that know me ~understood that I Knew they had made a mistake. Surely they had it wrong.... and it must have been prostate cancer. :)

Celebrate...:mohawk:(f)

[pynkkameleon]

Tommi ~ I love that you forgot your cancerversary! That in itself is also worthy of a celebration! Congratulations on your milestone!

Celebrate, celebrate and celebrate some more!

[*Anya*]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ihGCj5mfCk8

I can't figure out the Youtube video thing, but this is an awesome video Katy posted on her FB page this morning that I just love. Enjoy :)

This is so awesome Novela! Inspiring but have to tell you it made me pretty tearful, too.

Kids will get me every time!

12-years cancer-free for me following total Thyroidectomy for multiple Papillary nodules throughout my thyroid.

Dealing with non-cancer health issues right now and it helps to be reminded that kids never give up-no matter what.

Thanks for posting it and congrats Tommi!

:candle::candle::candle::candle::candle:

[deb_U_taunt]

LeDaG9xtN2U

[Tommi]

http://www.buy-webkinz.net/images/webkinz-tie-dyed-puppy.jpg

[pynkkameleon]

I hope everyone is doing well, smiling lots and enjoying life's simple pleasures.

http://www.glitters123.com/glitter_graphics/Awesome/Awesome-Glitters-4.gif

[DapperButch]

I have talked here numerous times about my commitment to and my belief in eating a vegan (plus fish) diet, exercise, supplements, and a couple of other things that I believe will keep a recurrence at bay.

Well, I am here to say that I fell off the wagon. I need to recommit myself to my health, so I am here to say it outloud.

The commitment to regular (structured) exercise fell by the wayside first. My commitment to exercise outside of sports/recreation activities have never been that good, so I knew I needed to set myself up for success. I bought an eliptical. The problem is that I couldn't get through 10 minutes without my lower back hurting. I would have to get off the machine, stretch out my back, and then get back on. Only to have it happen again 10 minutes or less later.

I tried different remedies and solutions (stretches, the shoes I wore, the way I held my body during the exercise), but nothing helped. I suspect the issue is that my core is not very strong due to the cutting of abdominals muscles twice (I had to get two surgeries two weeks apart due to complications).

The solution then, is to build up my core. I am commiting myself to this and know what types of exercises I need to do to get there.

My use of supplements took a nosedive in the last 1.5-2 months. Money. Now with summer here I have more things going on that require money. The supplements were costing me about $250-$300/month.

Here's the reality, I believe in the supplements, so I have to put that back in my budget.

Food. I believe in a vegan+fish non processed diet as a way to stop a recurrence. The last 1.5- 2 months has seen me ebb and flow a bit with eating more processed stuff. For the past month or more, I have not been eating enough vegetables (by a huge margin). For the past 2 weeks I have been eating dairy and white flour, which is really bad.

Being more active in the summer lends itself to grabbing food as you go. I need to recommit myself to eating healthy.

Alcohol. Alcohol speeds up tumor growth. Outside of red wine, which one should only have infrequently, one who has had cancer should really not consume alcohol. I love beer. And summer is the time for beer. For the past 3-4 weeks I have stumbled in this area.

I need to cut that shit out too.

So, that's it. I came to say the above to an audience in hopes that it will push me a bit. I will start with ordering what supplements I can online, right now.

Thanks for listening.

[Soft*Silver]

My chrissy has a younger sister who has had cancer twice before in her life. She worked for a company where there is a very large percentage of people who developed cancer while and after working for that company. After the first recurrence, she lived in fear that it would return. She felt in her bones it would mean sure death, because she felt she could not handle another bout of it.

A few months ago she was told it was back..and it had spread to another organ.

She has had chemo and while she was certain it would not help, she put her faith in prayer, and in the comfort and courage of her family and friends who believed for her that this too, would pass.

Yesterday, the doctors told her she had absolutely no cancer in her!

chrissy wept. My physically big, emotionally strong and spiritually powerful man wept as he told me his sister was going to live.

I am by no means a Christian but they are. I participated in their prayer circles and did my own songs. We live across the nation from one another. She is in california and we are in Ohio. Battling this with her long distance made it even harder on all of us.

But thank heavens, the universe and everyone who participated in helping her keep above the darkness, for she is once again, a survivor...:praying:

[clay]

Thanks for sharing these things of importance, Dapper! Sending you a hug and a ^5....you CAN do it, my friend!!! Hang in there!!! Good luck!!!
I have talked here numerous times about my commitment to and my belief in eating a vegan (plus fish) diet, exercise, supplements, and a couple of other things that I believe will keep a recurrence at bay.

Well, I am here to say that I fell off the wagon. I need to recommit myself to my health, so I am here to say it outloud.

The commitment to regular (structured) exercise fell by the wayside first. My commitment to exercise outside of sports/recreation activities have never been that good, so I knew I needed to set myself up for success. I bought an eliptical. The problem is that I couldn't get through 10 minutes without my lower back hurting. I would have to get off the machine, stretch out my back, and then get back on. Only to have it happen again 10 minutes or less later.

I tried different remedies and solutions (stretches, the shoes I wore, the way I held my body during the exercise), but nothing helped. I suspect the issue is that my core is not very strong due to the cutting of abdominals muscles twice (I had to get two surgeries two weeks apart due to complications).

The solution then, is to build up my core. I am commiting myself to this and know what types of exercises I need to do to get there.

My use of supplements took a nosedive in the last 1.5-2 months. Money. Now with summer here I have more things going on that require money. The supplements were costing me about $250-$300/month.

Here's the reality, I believe in the supplements, so I have to put that back in my budget.

Food. I believe in a vegan+fish non processed diet as a way to stop a recurrence. The last 1.5- 2 months has seen me ebb and flow a bit with eating more processed stuff. For the past month or more, I have not been eating enough vegetables (by a huge margin). For the past 2 weeks I have been eating dairy and white flour, which is really bad.

Being more active in the summer lends itself to grabbing food as you go. I need to recommit myself to eating healthy.

Alcohol. Alcohol speeds up tumor growth. Outside of red wine, which one should only have infrequently, one who has had cancer should really not consume alcohol. I love beer. And summer is the time for beer. For the past 3-4 weeks I have stumbled in this area.

I need to cut that shit out too.

So, that's it. I came to say the above to an audience in hopes that it will push me a bit. I will start with ordering what supplements I can online, right now.

Thanks for listening.

[DapperButch]

Thanks for sharing these things of importance, Dapper! Sending you a hug and a ^5....you CAN do it, my friend!!! Hang in there!!! Good luck!!!


Thanks, Buddy.

[pynkkameleon]

It's almost 4am and I should be sound asleep. Instead my eyes are as big and as wide as the beautiful full moon is right now. I have a hunch that this insomnia of mine can be partially blamed on the new meds that I am on. Thankfully these new Rx's are for something "other" than cancer but they are definitely wreaking additional havoc on this broken body of mine. It's funny how we are prescribed one medication, then given another and yet another to combat side effects from the first, second and third meds and then suddenly the medicine cabinet isn't large enough to hold all of the little orange bottles. There has to be a better way than this.

I should probably apologize ahead of time for this post. (Not sure who I think I need to apologize to? Myself maybe?) I can tell already that it is probably going to come out sounding like the ramblings of a drunken madwoman. I assure you though that I am, at the moment at least, quite sober. :)

I do try very hard not to vent here on the boards, to keep my thoughts mostly private and to be positive 99.9% of the time. However, there are those times when it just gets bottled up to the point where it wants to explode. Probably not a very healthy thing. Positivity is generally very important to me. When I find myself anything but that, I am riddled with nothing but guilt. After all, I have people in my life, including and especially my children, that expect me to always be strong. Then again, maybe they don't expect that and I am just a victim of my own illusions.( See how artfully I let my mind twist and turn things?)

I saw the ta-ta doc this past Thursday. She cut the right side breast pocket open again to remove some more scar tissue. This latest procedure was intended to make the right side look more presentable. Ha! Presentable to whom I find myself wondering because as far as I'm concerned, the whole chest canvas thing seems like a lost cause. The left side has already been deemed as being "As good as it's ever going to get". Even without b/foobs, I am lopsided. It's not exactly a lovely sight. Maybe in time I will be able to get over this vanity issue I have with b/foobs (or in this case lack of b/foobs) and self image but for now, I really find myself still struggling and the very fact that it bugs me is really ticking me off. I wear a red cape damnit! This stuff isn't supposed to get to me.

I also want to throw in here that I am enthusiastically and eternally blessed and grateful to be alive. This isn't about not being thankful. I am well aware of the precious gift of life and there isn't a day that I don't give thanks for it or think of those who are also touched by this disease and others.

This is a self esteem issue.. and one I am not too proud of

I've been trying to combat those thoughts by asking myself the obvious questions such as..

"Okay Von, if you were in another persons shoes and you found yourself attracted to someone who had undergone a double mastectomy (or any other body altering surgery) would it take any of that attraction away for you?"

Duh! My answer is of course an emphatic "Hell No!". So, why I wonder do I assume that another person won't be able to see my body as attractive and that I am doomed to a life of being lonely and of never experiencing touch again?

Am I just being ridiculous or is this something "normal" and part of the self grieving process? Or maybe this is just the lack of sleep and oxygen to my brain talking. Maybe it's all of the above. Whatever it is, I came here to you wonderful people, because I knew that you would listen to my silliness without judging me for it.

Oh, and btw, I changed my name from Vonni to this new name, which is actually an old name but better than using my real name...

See.. I really DO need sleep :D

Oh.. and Dapper. You CAN do it. I have a so much respect for you for coming forward and making yourself accountable like that. Take baby steps where you need to. Every bit adds up and counts.

Hoping everyone is well, happy and smiling * hugs* and thanks for listening! Going to seek out my pillow now...

[Tommi]

It's almost 4am and I should be sound asleep. Instead my eyes are as big and as wide as the beautiful full moon is right now. I have a hunch that this insomnia of mine can be partially blamed on the new meds that I am on. Thankfully these new Rx's are for something "other" than cancer but they are definitely wreaking additional havoc on this broken body of mine. It's funny how we are prescribed one medication, then given another and yet another to combat side effects from the first, second and third meds and then suddenly the medicine cabinet isn't large enough to hold all of the little orange bottles. There has to be a better way than this.

I should probably apologize ahead of time for this post. (Not sure who I think I need to apologize to? Myself maybe?) I can tell already that it is probably going to come out sounding like the ramblings of a drunken madwoman. I assure you though that I am, at the moment at least, quite sober. :)

I do try very hard not to vent here on the boards, to keep my thoughts mostly private and to be positive 99.9% of the time. However, there are those times when it just gets bottled up to the point where it wants to explode. Probably not a very healthy thing. Positivity is generally very important to me. When I find myself anything but that, I am riddled with nothing but guilt. After all, I have people in my life, including and especially my children, that expect me to always be strong. Then again, maybe they don't expect that and I am just a victim of my own illusions.( See how artfully I let my mind twist and turn things?)

I saw the ta-ta doc this past Thursday. She cut the right side breast pocket open again to remove some more scar tissue. This latest procedure was intended to make the right side look more presentable. Ha! Presentable to whom I find myself wondering because as far as I'm concerned, the whole chest canvas thing seems like a lost cause. The left side has already been deemed as being "As good as it's ever going to get". Even without b/foobs, I am lopsided. It's not exactly a lovely sight. Maybe in time I will be able to get over this vanity issue I have with b/foobs (or in this case lack of b/foobs) and self image but for now, I really find myself still struggling and the very fact that it bugs me is really ticking me off. I wear a red cape damnit! This stuff isn't supposed to get to me.

I also want to throw in here that I am enthusiastically and eternally blessed and grateful to be alive. This isn't about not being thankful. I am well aware of the precious gift of life and there isn't a day that I don't give thanks for it or think of those who are also touched by this disease and others.

This is a self esteem issue.. and one I am not too proud of

I've been trying to combat those thoughts by asking myself the obvious questions such as..

"Okay Von, if you were in another persons shoes and you found yourself attracted to someone who had undergone a double mastectomy (or any other body altering surgery) would it take any of that attraction away for you?"

Duh! My answer is of course an emphatic "Hell No!". So, why I wonder do I assume that another person won't be able to see my body as attractive and that I am doomed to a life of being lonely and of never experiencing touch again?

Am I just being ridiculous or is this something "normal" and part of the self grieving process? Or maybe this is just the lack of sleep and oxygen to my brain talking. Maybe it's all of the above. Whatever it is, I came here to you wonderful people, because I knew that you would listen to my silliness without judging me for it.

Oh, and btw, I changed my name from Vonni to this new name, which is actually an old name but better than using my real name...

See.. I really DO need sleep :D

Oh.. and Dapper. You CAN do it. I have a so much respect for you for coming forward and making yourself accountable like that. Take baby steps where you need to. Every bit adds up and counts.

Hoping everyone is well, happy and smiling * hugs* and thanks for listening! Going to seek out my pillow now...

pynkkameleon, IN MY OPINE, this is zactly the place to come and talk about the things that are going round in your head and heart. We get it. Even when we feel like rambling, it makes good reading for those who walk along the path or with others. We commiserate and relate. Whether survivor, friend, family or lover peeps care and can understand. I worked with mastectomy patients in my past life, specializing in mammography, radiation therapy, and breast prosthetic fitting. I have met so many beautiful women who have undergone so many procedures that changed their lives and their bodies. I have taken body casts of reconstruction, implants, and those who underwent total radical mastectomy and chose to wear prosthetics. Inside of each was such a spark of love and life and I can remember the smiles, the tears, the days and the nights they spoke of what life was like. Of marriage, divorce and finding love again. Loving caring people see beyond the physicality of what we are. So, having spent much of my life as a breast cancer activist, I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer and went DUH...So, on those nights I can't sleep, I come in here, or somewhere on the Planet, and I read, and i post and I ramble, because, ...8 years later..I am alive. I have this book and saw this powerful show in Los Angles and am still wowed by the energy and writing. Link* http://images.indiebound.com/308/821/9780811821308.jpg
http://www.jhylanddesign.com/Art/artrage.htm Art.Rage.Us., a riveting book of art, fiction, poetry, and prose, and a bold testimony to the courage of women who face the disease. At turns stirring, humorous, heartrending, introspective, stark, and defiant, the pieces in Art.Rage.Us. have the power to comfort, provoke, and transform. Maybe you can check it out at your local library and see some beautiful women and works. Luff N Stuff , Tommi


Miss_Tia
Yeah for chrissy's sis.
We hear of a cat's nine lives, but I don't think we ever realize what close calls we have.
chrissy's sis experienced what many with cancer do, a miracle, a healing, a remission, whatever name we give it , or reason, the world becomes a beautiful place again. My Mom, given 3 months to live due to smoker's lung cancer and an aggressive tumor that wrapped around her windpipe went to Vegas to celebrate the 3 months. Well, Mom called me one day , said she was healed. Oaky then!! She had touched the TV during one of those Heal Me shows. We laughed, and she said , well stranger things have happened, 6 weeks after this her tumor began to shrink, 8 weeks later her lungs were clearing up, at that 3 month stage she finished her treatment, and ...went to Las Vegas to celebrate, 6 months later reconciled with our bio-family that had banished us for 20 years because Mom was a dyke. :) She lived over 4 years cancer free, had a sudden heart attack in my hands and passed away 12 hours later.


DapperButch, that non-cancer battle with fighting for our health sometimes takes a detour. Falling off the wagon and getting back on program has happened to me so often that I gave the wagon away. At this point, I have avoid drive-thru's, take the stairs at work. Several years ago, I broke my ankle while walking across a street, followed with a stress fracture in my foot during a Chargers' game at Qualcom stadium, and recently got out the brace that kept me from having knee surgery when I tour my ACL, all on my right side...So, I to try to enjoy life one day at a time and stay away from anything that comes in a package, EXCEPT ICE CREAM and Yogurt, and any exercise that would make me sweat.

[clay]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{pynk}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} }
As Tommi so eloquently said.....YOU are loved, cared for, and a viable part of this community...and this is exactly where you are welcome with open arms to come in and write whatever your heart may be feeling......many of us have at some point in time had those same thoughts, or felt "disconnected" or were concerned....OR just needed a place to go and vent....so...vent away sister....we are here for you!!!!
That link Tommi shared is an awesome link..and may you be able to find a renewed sense of self, see the art that is YOU...and also as Tommi said....we don't view one another for the physical sense....at least, for me, I view someone for their heart, their spirit, and their soul...who they are inside is where their beauty resides, for me...
For many of us, we do focus on our physical looks, and worry that others may not see us as beautiful, or wanted, or desired, but there are others who do not look at that aspect.....instead, they choose to look inside and see the beauty that resides therein...
From my seat, I see you as a truly remarkably beautiful woman, who has such captivating eyes....and those eyes are windows to that amazing soul you have...you have such compassion, such a positive outlook, and you touch others in ways that are meaningful....and you are truly beautifull...believe that, my friend!!! You & I have sahred some messages..and I "sense' that beauty within you...I know you to be a true "heart person".
There are days when we wonder, doubt, and are harsh critics of ourselves...and that, too, is all a part of our journeys...you are right where you should be...and know this door is always open for you....and I will always be here for you.....anytime....so, reach around and pat yourself on the back, look in the mirror at that beautiful smile, and feel the beauty of YOU!!!!
I heart you, pynk!!!!!

[pynkkameleon]

(((((((((Tommi and Clay))))))))))))

You both have brought me to tears. Wonderful, cleansing and healing tears.

I needed that, whether I realized it or not.

I'll come back and finish this after the tears have stopped flowing and I blow my snotty nose..

I heart you my friends!!

[deb_U_taunt]

hugs and hugs and hugs

Vent the fuck away!!!!!!!!!!

I have been struggling with image issues, too. I look in the mirror and wonder how the hell I got here. I went back to work on Monday and everyone in my department knows why I was out and I catch people glancing at my chest while we talk. I went through clothes and boxed up the boxed up those that showed cleavage. And nighties...WTH.

Give me a call and we can have a bitch fest and a good cry.

It's almost 4am and I should be sound asleep. Instead my eyes are as big and as wide as the beautiful full moon is right now. I have a hunch that this insomnia of mine can be partially blamed on the new meds that I am on. Thankfully these new Rx's are for something "other" than cancer but they are definitely wreaking additional havoc on this broken body of mine. It's funny how we are prescribed one medication, then given another and yet another to combat side effects from the first, second and third meds and then suddenly the medicine cabinet isn't large enough to hold all of the little orange bottles. There has to be a better way than this.

I should probably apologize ahead of time for this post. (Not sure who I think I need to apologize to? Myself maybe?) I can tell already that it is probably going to come out sounding like the ramblings of a drunken madwoman. I assure you though that I am, at the moment at least, quite sober. :)

I do try very hard not to vent here on the boards, to keep my thoughts mostly private and to be positive 99.9% of the time. However, there are those times when it just gets bottled up to the point where it wants to explode. Probably not a very healthy thing. Positivity is generally very important to me. When I find myself anything but that, I am riddled with nothing but guilt. After all, I have people in my life, including and especially my children, that expect me to always be strong. Then again, maybe they don't expect that and I am just a victim of my own illusions.( See how artfully I let my mind twist and turn things?)

I saw the ta-ta doc this past Thursday. She cut the right side breast pocket open again to remove some more scar tissue. This latest procedure was intended to make the right side look more presentable. Ha! Presentable to whom I find myself wondering because as far as I'm concerned, the whole chest canvas thing seems like a lost cause. The left side has already been deemed as being "As good as it's ever going to get". Even without b/foobs, I am lopsided. It's not exactly a lovely sight. Maybe in time I will be able to get over this vanity issue I have with b/foobs (or in this case lack of b/foobs) and self image but for now, I really find myself still struggling and the very fact that it bugs me is really ticking me off. I wear a red cape damnit! This stuff isn't supposed to get to me.

I also want to throw in here that I am enthusiastically and eternally blessed and grateful to be alive. This isn't about not being thankful. I am well aware of the precious gift of life and there isn't a day that I don't give thanks for it or think of those who are also touched by this disease and others.

This is a self esteem issue.. and one I am not too proud of

I've been trying to combat those thoughts by asking myself the obvious questions such as..

"Okay Von, if you were in another persons shoes and you found yourself attracted to someone who had undergone a double mastectomy (or any other body altering surgery) would it take any of that attraction away for you?"

Duh! My answer is of course an emphatic "Hell No!". So, why I wonder do I assume that another person won't be able to see my body as attractive and that I am doomed to a life of being lonely and of never experiencing touch again?

Am I just being ridiculous or is this something "normal" and part of the self grieving process? Or maybe this is just the lack of sleep and oxygen to my brain talking. Maybe it's all of the above. Whatever it is, I came here to you wonderful people, because I knew that you would listen to my silliness without judging me for it.

Oh, and btw, I changed my name from Vonni to this new name, which is actually an old name but better than using my real name...

See.. I really DO need sleep :D

Oh.. and Dapper. You CAN do it. I have a so much respect for you for coming forward and making yourself accountable like that. Take baby steps where you need to. Every bit adds up and counts.

Hoping everyone is well, happy and smiling * hugs* and thanks for listening! Going to seek out my pillow now...

[pynkkameleon]

hugs and hugs and hugs

Vent the fuck away!!!!!!!!!!

I have been struggling with image issues, too. I look in the mirror and wonder how the hell I got here. I went back to work on Monday and everyone in my department knows why I was out and I catch people glancing at my chest while we talk. I went through clothes and boxed up the boxed up those that showed cleavage. And nighties...WTH.

Give me a call and we can have a bitch fest and a good cry.

I think that a good cleansing bitchfest is exactly what you and I need. A mix of laughter and tears, topped off with a big ole' fuck you to cancer!

We're going to get through this and be all the more fabulous for it.

Hugs, hugs and more hugs back my friend. Can't wait to talk to you!

Vonni

[deb_U_taunt]

Making cancer our bitch!!!!! lol

I think that a good cleansing bitchfest is exactly what you and I need. A mix of laughter and tears, topped off with a big ole' fuck you to cancer!

We're going to get through this and be all the more fabulous for it.

Hugs, hugs and more hugs back my friend. Can't wait to talk to you!

Vonni

[Novelafemme]

Please send my friend Maria and her husband Dave some gentle and loving energy as Dave transitions from this world to the next. He was diagnosed with a very invasive form of melanoma three years ago, went into remission and suffered a reoccurrence this spring. He has been battling hard ever since and went to Roswell Cancer Institute on the 5th for an IPI infusion but didn't get to leave since they have been struggling to manage his pain. The oncologist told Maria this morning that he will not be going home.

Please keep this beautiful family in your thoughts. Maria was one of my best friends when I lived in New York and Dave lived across the street from us and is my brother's best friend. They are both only 39 and have three beautiful children. They were high school sweethearts and have been together since 9th grade.

:candle:

[Heavenleahangel]

Please send my friend Maria and her husband Dave some gentle and loving energy as Dave transitions from this world to the next. He was diagnosed with a very invasive form of melanoma three years ago, went into remission and suffered a reoccurrence this spring. He has been battling hard ever since and went to Roswell Cancer Institute on the 5th for an IPI infusion but didn't get to leave since they have been struggling to manage his pain. The oncologist told Maria this morning that he will not be going home.

Please keep this beautiful family in your thoughts. Maria was one of my best friends when I lived in New York and Dave lived across the street from us and is my brother's best friend. They are both only 39 and have three beautiful children. They were high school sweethearts and have been together since 9th grade.

:candle:

Sending many prayers and heart felt condolences to you and your friends in this time of transitioning. May peace and light surround you all.

[clay]

Please send my friend Maria and her husband Dave some gentle and loving energy as Dave transitions from this world to the next. He was diagnosed with a very invasive form of melanoma three years ago, went into remission and suffered a reoccurrence this spring. He has been battling hard ever since and went to Roswell Cancer Institute on the 5th for an IPI infusion but didn't get to leave since they have been struggling to manage his pain. The oncologist told Maria this morning that he will not be going home.

Please keep this beautiful family in your thoughts. Maria was one of my best friends when I lived in New York and Dave lived across the street from us and is my brother's best friend. They are both only 39 and have three beautiful children. They were high school sweethearts and have been together since 9th grade.

:candle:
Absolutely, Novela! May that white light energy bring Dave peace & calmness as he transitions from one plane to another. May his wife find courage, strength, and support in these thoughts for her as well......blessings for this family in this time of sadness....:candle:

[Tommi]

(((((((((((((Hearts and harp strings of love, life and peace for Novelafemme's friend Dave and the love of his life Maria, and the three kids that knew a wonderful Dad.))))))))))))


I returned home for the 4th of July road trip and found the envelope from the CA Doc saying my path reports came back negative. ..I already knew that and had forgotten that a confirmation would come by mail.

[Novelafemme]

Dave passed this evening with Maria there by his side. He fought hard.

I'll be flying home for the services as soon as I get the details.

Now I'm gonna go have a good cry.

[clay]

Dave passed this evening with Maria there by his side. He fought hard.

I'll be flying home for the services as soon as I get the details.

Now I'm gonna go have a good cry.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Novela}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} sending you healing energies...and know you are in my thoughts..along with Dave & Maria.....love you my beautiful friend! Clay

[mustangjeano]

Dave passed this evening with Maria there by his side. He fought hard.

I'll be flying home for the services as soon as I get the details.

Now I'm gonna go have a good cry.

Sending you and Maria my love. Jeano

[LeftWriteFemme]

Tig Notaro was interviewed on Fresh Air and I thought folks here might want to here the interview.



http://www.npr.org/player/v2/mediaPlayer.html?action=1&t=3&islist=true&id=13&d=10-08-2012

[StillettoDoll]

Tig Notaro was interviewed on Fresh Air and I thought folks here might want to here the interview.



http://www.npr.org/player/v2/mediaPlayer.html?action=1&t=3&islist=true&id=13&d=10-08-2012

This morning, I did hear this interview . Thanks Left i wanted to hear it again..

[deb_U_taunt]

The chemo fog has lifted a lot but its been a year and I want to be me again!!!!
I am giving myself another 6 months tops, I need my brain back dammit!!!

From the Mayo Clinic:
Although post-chemotherapy cognitive impairment appears to be temporary, it can be quite long-lived, with some cases lasting 10 years or more.

[clay]

Merry Christmas to all of us who have survived Cancer. I am one year, cancer free. This time a year ago I was just getting out of the hospital....I am truly blessed...to be here to celebrate this wonderful season of miracles....
Merry Christmas to all of us...I heart each and every one of you...Clay

[mustangjeano]

The chemo fog has lifted a lot but its been a year and I want to be me again!!!!
I am giving myself another 6 months tops, I need my brain back dammit!!!

From the Mayo Clinic:
Although post-chemotherapy cognitive impairment appears to be temporary, it can be quite long-lived, with some cases lasting 10 years or more.

Oh yes," Chemo Brain" sucks.

[DapperButch]

The chemo fog has lifted a lot but its been a year and I want to be me again!!!!
I am giving myself another 6 months tops, I need my brain back dammit!!!

From the Mayo Clinic:
Although post-chemotherapy cognitive impairment appears to be temporary, it can be quite long-lived, with some cases lasting 10 years or more.

Hi, deb.

Yes, the chemo fog has been quite hard for me as well, and my 6 months of chemo ended in 3/2011. The worst for me is word finding. It has become a bit better, but is still an ongoing, daily problem. I also seem to skip words when writing, or write the wrong word.

Additionally, although it has gotten better, immediate memory is a problem. Three or four sentences into a paragraph, I can't remember what the first and second sentence said. I had actually planned to return to graduate school for an additional degree, but wasn't able to get through the GRE due to the above problem. It is better, but since it has been so long, I don't know if it will become good enough to be able to return to school.

Evidently, the biggest reduction in chemo fog happens in the first year. After this, it either leaves much more slowly or doesn't get any better.

What type of chemo did you get? I received 5FU for colon cancer.

[DapperButch]

Oh yes," Chemo Brain" sucks.

What's it like for you now Jean? I would appreciate you sharing your progression of chemo brain. How long ago was your chemo? You had breast cancer twice, right? Or am I remembering this incorrectly?

[mustangjeano]

What's it like for you now Jean? I would appreciate you sharing your progression of chemo brain. How long ago was your chemo? You had breast cancer twice, right? Or am I remembering this incorrectly?

Yes, twice. Thanks for remembering Dapper. My chemo was in 2004 and the initial memory and focus problems are much better but the most challenging side effect was/is depression. I never had a problem with depression before chemo and it has not improved much in all these years---I have tried several Rxs and done a lot of mental work on my own but it continues to be something that dogs me. I believe the chemo and/or three major cancer surgeries did a number on my brain chemistry.

[goodlilfemme]

CANCER such an evil word . many hugs to those of you that are going through any cancer treatments now and rock on jean that you beat breast cancer twice . unfortunately my aunt did not beat it but she's always in my heart lost her about 2 years ago now . my father has beat pancriatic cancer twice he just turned 70 on the 21st of december and doing amazingly well . just found out my best friend has breast cancer. she's doing chemo now . she did tell me they caught it in an early stage so im hoping and praying she can beat this . our friends are a complete support system for her right now . anyway many hugs and prayers for anybody dealing with cancer right now

always goodlilfemme

[pynkkameleon]

I have seen a marked reduction in memory and other issues as well. Chemo ended for me in May 2010. I find myself often pausing mid-sentence trying to remember words and even losing track of what the conversation was about. Reading books is difficult for me as I now have trouble retaining what I have read. I also have always loved to write. It may be one of my greatest struggles now.

I believe that the chemo played a big part in these issues. I also believe that the multitude of surgeries (anesthesia), medications, possibly radiation and who knows what else plays a part too.

I had one doctor try to tell me that it wasn't the chemo but was instead a sign that I was getting older. Seriously? Asshole!

My insurance covers visits to a cognitive therapist. I see her once a week and have for almost a year now. She's been a wonderful source of support for me. We work on keeping my brain busy by doing a lot of puzzles, word problems, memory quizzes and she gives me the tips that I need to remember things at home. Post-it notes, calendars, white boards, a voice recorder to take to appointments and more are all a part of my daily life now. They really are a huge help. While she doesn't believe that I will regain that 15% or so of memory/cognitive function that I have lost, she has at least given me some great new skills to help me to cope and deal with it.

I think that depression also plays a part in my life just as Jean said. For me it isn't the stereotypical depression. I still laugh with wild abandon every chance that I can. I find joy in every nook and cranny available. I still live as if my glass is overflowing. It's the anxieties and fears that never existed before. I don't have the self confidence that I used to. I don't have the energy to do the things that I want to do. It's very frustrating.

I know that I am not a textbook case. Lots of people don't even experience half of what I or many of us have. Even if we are given the "same" chemo, for the "same" cancer, for the "same" length of time, every one of us is going to have a different reaction to it because we ARE each different. What I find to be the most irritating is when our own doctors feed us these lines and statistics, giving us a time frame for when everything should stop affecting us. They know better. The hard truth is that every reaction and length of that reaction is going to vary from person to person and even with all of the studies they do, nobody really knows much of anything about chemo and its long range effects.

I'll add that my chemo was for Breast Cancer, Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, 2.5cm tumor with lymph node involvement. ER/PR+, Her2 -. I did 4 rounds of Taxotere and Cytoxan, 3 weeks apart followed by radiation and what now looks to be a total of 10 years of oral tamoxifen thanks to new guidelines that just came out. I also have had a double mastectomy with several failed attempts at reconstruction and have no desire to ever attempt it again. Not only do I save money by not indulging in my old obsession over buying sexy lingerie but I also don't have to worry about boobies someday sagging down to my toes and tripping me. Double win on that one!

A friend recently asked me if I would do it all over again if I knew then what I know now. My answer? Hell yes I would do it again. I still believe that it saved my life and I have a LOT of living and hell raising left to do. I just hit my 3 year surgery anniversary date and so far so good, no sign of mets or recurrence. YAY!

Anyway, Since I clearly am suffering from insomnia tonight and Christmas is tomorrow I am going to scoot my butt off of here and go wrap presents. I am such a procrastinator!

You are all amazing! Sending each of you big hugs, lots of love and warm thoughts for the holidays!!

..goodlilfemme ~ I'll be keeping you, your bestie and your dad in my thoughts and prayers.

[DapperButch]

Yes, twice. Thanks for remembering Dapper. My chemo was in 2004 and the initial memory and focus problems are much better but the most challenging side effect was/is depression. I never had a problem with depression before chemo and it has not improved much in all these years---I have tried several Rxs and done a lot of mental work on my own but it continues to be something that dogs me. I believe the chemo and/or three major cancer surgeries did a number on my brain chemistry.

Thanks for answering, Jean. I believe that I have read somewhere that a long term effect of chemo can be depression. I suppose what I would think about in that case is if at least part of the depression is about going through cancer itself? Left over feelings about going through all of it and fears about the future? I know my fear of getting it again is very present and I feel like shit about myself if I am not eating in the way that I believe will keep cancer at bay (seagan =vegan+fish).

Does anyone else get flashbacks of your surgeries/chemo time period?

Every once in a while I will get a flash of either events surrounding the chemo itself, the time period, etc. The other day out of the blue, I all of a sudden "felt" the pressure of the nurse attaching the chemo tubing to my no-longer-there chemo port.

I can't have the ceiling fan on in the bedroom as my surgery was in the summer and I had it on all the time. If it is on, I flash back to the how I felt (physically and emotionally) as I was healing in that bed.

I also can get memories of things I completely forgot about related to my surgeries or chemo. They are things that I knew happened, but I didn't remember them for some reason. It is sort of hard to explain...how it is like you "remembered" it for the first time, even though if someone asked you if a particular thing happened, it is not like you wouldn't remember it.

The other day I was at my work's Holiday party. There was a couple of us there discussing wine and what we like. As I was launching into the reason that although I love beer, I try to mainly drink red wine (anything besides red wine could increase chance of recurrence), I turned to one of the people there and said, "I think you know I had cancer...", as an intro to what I was about to say. This woman is a part of our department, but I don't see her very frequently as she works in another area of the hospital. However, she is in our office for a few hours a week seeing outpatient clients.

In my head it was possible that she was unaware that I had cancer in the past. This is crazy. Let me tell you why....

This is the person whose office I stumbled into with a dripping chemo bag in my hand (I had a chemo pump for 48 hours every other week), after it had dropped to the floor and busted while I was in the bathroom. I didn't remember this. How crazy is that? How did I forget dropping a chemo bag that is attached to my chest...the chemo then pouring down my hand as I hold the bag away from my body...all the while sneaking out of the bathroom trying to hide this bag in my hand from the vision of my next client who is sitting in the waiting room? So, I saunter into this woman's office, shirt untucked with this chemo tubing coming out from the bottom of the shirt, with a dripping bag, place it in her trash can (still attached to my chest with tubing, of course), and ask for help. How does one forget this? I mean, I didn't forget it, I just hadn't thought of it since this happened. Anyone else ever experience moments of "forgetting" something? The infection control people come in to wipe down offices for crying out loud! How does one "block" this? lol

At the time of the wine discussion the woman just nodded and indicated she knew that I had had cancer. Next time I see her I will have to explain!

[deb_U_taunt]

Dapper,

Hmmm 5 FUs sounds appropriate for any cancer lol

Cyclophosphamide/Adriamycin every two weeks 4 times (this one I didn't have too many side effects from, hair loss and the steroid moon face was about it)
Taxol every two weeks 4 times (this is the one that kicked my ass)

Skipping words!!! YES. Its hurt my career, since I don't retain things like I used to. I can't work the hours that most IT people work anymore either. I went from 60 hours on average to 40 now.

Hugs, Deb



Hi, deb.

Yes, the chemo fog has been quite hard for me as well, and my 6 months of chemo ended in 3/2011. The worst for me is word finding. It has become a bit better, but is still an ongoing, daily problem. I also seem to skip words when writing, or write the wrong word.

Additionally, although it has gotten better, immediate memory is a problem. Three or four sentences into a paragraph, I can't remember what the first and second sentence said. I had actually planned to return to graduate school for an additional degree, but wasn't able to get through the GRE due to the above problem. It is better, but since it has been so long, I don't know if it will become good enough to be able to return to school.

Evidently, the biggest reduction in chemo fog happens in the first year. After this, it either leaves much more slowly or doesn't get any better.

What type of chemo did you get? I received 5FU for colon cancer.

[deb_U_taunt]

HUGS Jeano

Depression here too :( I never had problems with it before either. Happy go lucky kinda gal, but I get in a funk now. I have been isolating more and more and I know that is NOT good.

Yes, twice. Thanks for remembering Dapper. My chemo was in 2004 and the initial memory and focus problems are much better but the most challenging side effect was/is depression. I never had a problem with depression before chemo and it has not improved much in all these years---I have tried several Rxs and done a lot of mental work on my own but it continues to be something that dogs me. I believe the chemo and/or three major cancer surgeries did a number on my brain chemistry.

[deb_U_taunt]

Made sense to me, made me cry knowing I am not the only one.

Thanks for answering, Jean. I believe that I have read somewhere that a long term effect of chemo can be depression. I suppose what I would think about in that case is if at least part of the depression is about going through cancer itself? Left over feelings about going through all of it and fears about the future? I know my fear of getting it again is very present and I feel like shit about myself if I am not eating in the way that I believe will keep cancer at bay (seagan =vegan+fish).

Does anyone else get flashbacks of your surgeries/chemo time period?

Every once in a while I will get a flash of either events surrounding the chemo itself, the time period, etc. The other day out of the blue, I all of a sudden "felt" the pressure of the nurse attaching the chemo tubing to my no-longer-there chemo port.

I can't have the ceiling fan on in the bedroom as my surgery was in the summer and I had it on all the time. If it is on, I flash back to the how I felt (physically and emotionally) as I was healing in that bed.

I also can get memories of things I completely forgot about related to my surgeries or chemo. They are things that I knew happened, but I didn't remember them for some reason. It is sort of hard to explain...how it is like you "remembered" it for the first time, even though if someone asked you if a particular thing happened, it is not like you wouldn't remember it.

The other day I was at my work's Holiday party. There was a couple of us there discussing wine and what we like. As I was launching into the reason that although I love beer, I try to mainly drink red wine (anything besides red wine could increase chance of recurrence), I turned to one of the people there and said, "I think you know I had cancer...", as an intro to what I was about to say. This woman is a part of our department, but I don't see her very frequently as she works in another area of the hospital. However, she is in our office for a few hours a week seeing outpatient clients.

In my head it was possible that she was unaware that I had cancer in the past. This is crazy. Let me tell you why....

This is the person whose office I stumbled into with a dripping chemo bag in my hand (I had a chemo pump for 48 hours every other week), after it had dropped to the floor and busted while I was in the bathroom. I didn't remember this. How crazy is that? How did I forget dropping a chemo bag that is attached to my chest...the chemo then pouring down my hand as I hold the bag away from my body...all the while sneaking out of the bathroom trying to hide this bag in my hand from the vision of my next client who is sitting in the waiting room? So, I saunter into this woman's office, shirt untucked with this chemo tubing coming out from the bottom of the shirt, with a dripping bag, place it in her trash can (still attached to my chest with tubing, of course), and ask for help. How does one forget this? I mean, I didn't forget it, I just hadn't thought of it since this happened. Anyone else ever experience moments of "forgetting" something? The infection control people come in to wipe down offices for crying out loud! How does one "block" this? lol

At the time of the wine discussion the woman just nodded and indicated she knew that I had had cancer. Next time I see her I will have to explain!

[DapperButch]

Dapper,

Hmmm 5 FUs sounds appropriate for any cancer lol

Cyclophosphamide/Adriamycin every two weeks 4 times (this one I didn't have too many side effects from, hair loss and the steroid moon face was about it)
Taxol every two weeks 4 times (this is the one that kicked my ass)

Skipping words!!! YES. Its hurt my career, since I don't retain things like I used to. I can't work the hours that most IT people work anymore either. I went from 60 hours on average to 40 now.

Hugs, Deb

Yes, mine was 12 times, every other week, for 6 months. I would have a 4 hour infusion, and then I wore a chemo pump for 48 hours. I would do my chemo on a Wednesday morning, get the pump on, go back to get pump removed on Friday afternoon and then crash for the entire weekend (evidently, it is common to get tired AFTER the chemo finishes, not during). I worked full time the whole way through, which really was probably dumb. I won't do that again, if it comes back. I started not working the afternoons of the infusions, however, because the steroids made me so agitated I would be irritable with my coworkers (fortunately, only the ones I was close too). So, at some point I just started taking those Wednesdays off.

pynnkameleon, I loved your post and have a lot to say, but will have to get to it later.

[clay]

http://mukluk.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/merrychristmas.gif

[deb_U_taunt]

Yes, mine was 12 times, every other week, for 6 months. I would have a 4 hour infusion, and then I wore a chemo pump for 48 hours. I would do my chemo on a Wednesday morning, get the pump on, go back to get pump removed on Friday afternoon and then crash for the entire weekend (evidently, it is common to get tired AFTER the chemo finishes, not during). I worked full time the whole way through, which really was probably dumb. I won't do that again, if it comes back. I started not working the afternoons of the infusions, however, because the steroids made me so agitated I would be irritable with my coworkers (fortunately, only the ones I was close too). So, at some point I just started taking those Wednesdays off.

pynnkameleon, I loved your post and have a lot to say, but will have to get to it later.

I worked through it too. I would get chemo Friday and have the weekend for rest. I was back at work Monday, until I started the Taxol and then after chemo Friday, I would work from home Monday and Tuesday.
I agree, I wouldn't do it again. BUT, it kept my mind on other things, too.

[julieisafemme]

My Mom is on hospice now. The cancer is in her lungs, spine, brain and liver. She just finished a 10 day course of palliative radiation. It did help. She is on all kinds of medication now. She also forgets words and has neuropathy from the chemo. She is 74! The doctor did not attribute it to old age! The lesion in her brain was causing headaches and slurred speech and that has improved with the radiation and steroids. Sorry to be a downer here! We have to be with her 24/7 now and sometimes she gets annoyed at allllll these people up in her business! She really enjoyed Christmas though.

[DapperButch]

My Mom is on hospice now. The cancer is in her lungs, spine, brain and liver. She just finished a 10 day course of palliative radiation. It did help. She is on all kinds of medication now. She also forgets words and has neuropathy from the chemo. She is 74! The doctor did not attribute it to old age! The lesion in her brain was causing headaches and slurred speech and that has improved with the radiation and steroids. Sorry to be a downer here! We have to be with her 24/7 now and sometimes she gets annoyed at allllll these people up in her business! She really enjoyed Christmas though.

Hi, Julie. You are not a downer. I have wondered how your mother is doing. We want you here in the thread!

Glad to hear she enjoyed Christmas. I hope the New Year is happy for her, as well.

Take care.

[clay]

My Mom is on hospice now. The cancer is in her lungs, spine, brain and liver. She just finished a 10 day course of palliative radiation. It did help. She is on all kinds of medication now. She also forgets words and has neuropathy from the chemo. She is 74! The doctor did not attribute it to old age! The lesion in her brain was causing headaches and slurred speech and that has improved with the radiation and steroids. Sorry to be a downer here! We have to be with her 24/7 now and sometimes she gets annoyed at allllll these people up in her business! She really enjoyed Christmas though.

Hi Julieisafemme:
You most definitley belong in this thread..always. We are here for you...and I wish you and your mom, and your family, comfort and peace during this time. That is great she had a good Christmas...and I send you comforting energies and healing energies to your mom.
Know you have the love & support of all of us here...we are here for you always....hugs to each of you....Clay

[Novelafemme]

{{{{Julie}}}} Both you and your mom are in my thoughts. Sending you as much love and support as I possibly can. :bunchflowers:

[deb_U_taunt]

You are not a downer. Does sound like the situation is. :( I lost my grandma to cancer Jan 1 this year. She wanted to see 2012. :)
You and yours will be in my prayers and thoughts.
Hugs to you

My Mom is on hospice now. The cancer is in her lungs, spine, brain and liver. She just finished a 10 day course of palliative radiation. It did help. She is on all kinds of medication now. She also forgets words and has neuropathy from the chemo. She is 74! The doctor did not attribute it to old age! The lesion in her brain was causing headaches and slurred speech and that has improved with the radiation and steroids. Sorry to be a downer here! We have to be with her 24/7 now and sometimes she gets annoyed at allllll these people up in her business! She really enjoyed Christmas though.

[DapperButch]

I had a client who I last saw at the end of September. She had no health problems.

In the beginning of October I got a call from her canceling her next appt., saying she was in the hospital as they just found out she had a brain tumor.

Today I got a call from one of her friends letting me know that she passed away the day after Christmas.

She was a great person and very much a giver to others. Cancer sucks.

[deb_U_taunt]

I had a client who I last saw at the end of September. She had no health problems.

In the beginning of October I got a call from her canceling her next appt., saying she was in the hospital as they just found out she had a brain tumor.

Today I got a call from one of her friends letting me know that she passed away the day after Christmas.

She was a great person and very much a giver to others. Cancer sucks.

Cancer truly does suck. Hugs.

[julieisafemme]

My Mom is on hospice now. The cancer is in her lungs, spine, brain and liver. She just finished a 10 day course of palliative radiation. It did help. She is on all kinds of medication now. She also forgets words and has neuropathy from the chemo. She is 74! The doctor did not attribute it to old age! The lesion in her brain was causing headaches and slurred speech and that has improved with the radiation and steroids. Sorry to be a downer here! We have to be with her 24/7 now and sometimes she gets annoyed at allllll these people up in her business! She really enjoyed Christmas though.

Some good news on the neuropathy. The hospice nurses prescribed a drug called neurontin? or something like that and it has helped tremendously with the mobility in her hands. I came in tonight to say goodnight and she was typing away at the computer on an email to her friends list. She has not been able to do this for a long time. She was really happy!

Also the hiccups and burping from the radiation (she had shots through esophagus to the spine) has improved tremendously! That makes her super happy!

[uglyboi]

I had a client who I last saw at the end of September. She had no health problems.

In the beginning of October I got a call from her canceling her next appt., saying she was in the hospital as they just found out she had a brain tumor.

Today I got a call from one of her friends letting me know that she passed away the day after Christmas.

She was a great person and very much a giver to others. Cancer sucks.


Cancer is cruel!!!!!!!!

My youngest sister was diagnosed with renal cell carcinoma January 3, 2012. She passed away on May 26, 2012. She was 43, physically active, never smoked nor drank and had no symptoms (discovered a swollen node on her neck). She left behind two small children. It makes no sense and it has been extremely difficult for me to accept that she is no longer with us. Just know that each of you all are in my thoughts and prayers!

[clay]

{{{{{{{{{{{{uglyboi}}}}}}}}}}
Sending you warm hugs and my deepest condolences on the loss of your sister.
Yes, this cancer is some cruel stuff....any form of it at all.
You are in my heart and all of us here walk with you...
Sending you comforting energies and white light energies....take care of yourself...may you find some solace and peace in all of this...hugs my friend...Clay

[DapperButch]

Cancer is cruel!!!!!!!!

My youngest sister was diagnosed with renal cell carcinoma January 3, 2012. She passed away on May 26, 2012. She was 43, physically active, never smoked nor drank and had no symptoms (discovered a swollen node on her neck). She left behind two small children. It makes no sense and it has been extremely difficult for me to accept that she is no longer with us. Just know that each of you all are in my thoughts and prayers!

Oh, gosh, this is horrible. I am so sorry.

[DapperButch]

Some good news on the neuropathy. The hospice nurses prescribed a drug called neurontin? or something like that and it has helped tremendously with the mobility in her hands. I came in tonight to say goodnight and she was typing away at the computer on an email to her friends list. She has not been able to do this for a long time. She was really happy!

Also the hiccups and burping from the radiation (she had shots through esophagus to the spine) has improved tremendously! That makes her super happy!

Hi, Julie. Yes, it is most likely Neurontin. I take that too for the neuropathy in my hands/feet from the chemo. My doc acutally decreased the Oxaliplatin in my chemo more than once due to the fact that the neuropathy started so quickly in the treatment. She ended up stopping the Oxaliplatin a all together half way through the cycle of treatment.

Her concern was how young I was to have neuropathy. For most people it goes away after tx stops, but not unexpectantly, for me, it didn't. It isn't too bad though, I really don't notice it as much now. I mainly have the pain in my feet. My fingers are less flexible...meaning, they are stiffer...it is more difficult to type and I can't type as quickly.

Of course, at this point I feel like the oncologist made the right choice in stopping the drug, since my neuropathy is quite manegable. Of course, if I get cancer again I will have to wonder if it was the stopping of the drug that allowed some of the cancer cells to not be obliterated. :fastdraq:

[alexri]

I saw the conversations on "chemo brain" and I figured some of you might appreciate this story that was on NPR.

Another Side Effect Of Chemotherapy: 'Chemo Brain'
http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2012/12/28/168141465/another-side-effect-of-chemotherapy-chemo-brain

[deb_U_taunt]

I saw the conversations on "chemo brain" and I figured some of you might appreciate this story that was on NPR.

Another Side Effect Of Chemotherapy: 'Chemo Brain'
http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2012/12/28/168141465/another-side-effect-of-chemotherapy-chemo-brain


Emailed it to my boss. His sister passed away from breast cancer and he has been great support to me. :) Its frustrating not to have the same retention to things as I did before. I know its has to be frustrating to my co-workers at times. One co-worker and I laugh about me talking in fragmented sentences now. lol

[alexri]

Emailed it to my boss. His sister passed away from breast cancer and he has been great support to me. :) Its frustrating not to have the same retention to things as I did before. I know its has to be frustrating to my co-workers at times. One co-worker and I laugh about me talking in fragmented sentences now. lol

I hope he reads the comments people have left on the article's page. The personal stories people have described will hopefully make it more real to him.

[deb_U_taunt]

I hope he reads the comments people have left on the article's page. The personal stories people have described will hopefully make it more real to him.

funny!!! I pointed a few out to him.

[deb_U_taunt]

Speaking of chemo brain. I was going to post something in another thread and by the time I clicked on post reply, it was gone. I completely forgot what I was going to post. Didn't even have a clue. LMAO

[goodlilfemme]

so my friend is going through her chemo for stage 1 breast cancer right now and has started to loose her pretty thick long brown hair . it seems silly to care so much about your hair but its part of what makes her feel sexy and beautiful. so to my quesiton which is this . is it irrational of me to shave my head in support of her when she looses all her hair ? i told her of my plan and it amazed her and made her laugh . hair can always grow back but friends that support you through thick and thin are forever . always goodlilfemme




CANCER such an evil word . many hugs to those of you that are going through any cancer treatments now and rock on jean that you beat breast cancer twice . unfortunately my aunt did not beat it but she's always in my heart lost her about 2 years ago now . my father has beat pancriatic cancer twice he just turned 70 on the 21st of december and doing amazingly well . just found out my best friend has breast cancer. she's doing chemo now . she did tell me they caught it in an early stage so im hoping and praying she can beat this . our friends are a complete support system for her right now . anyway many hugs and prayers for anybody dealing with cancer right now

always goodlilfemme

[mustangjeano]

Speaking of chemo brain. I was going to post something in another thread and by the time I clicked on post reply, it was gone. I completely forgot what I was going to post. Didn't even have a clue. LMAO

Ha ha ha---welcome to my world. Jeano

[mustangjeano]

so my friend is going through her chemo for stage 1 breast cancer right now and has started to loose her pretty thick long brown hair . it seems silly to care so much about your hair but its part of what makes her feel sexy and beautiful. so to my quesiton which is this . is it irrational of me to shave my head in support of her when she looses all her hair ? i told her of my plan and it amazed her and made her laugh . hair can always grow back but friends that support you through thick and thin are forever . always goodlilfemme

Goodlilfemme, it is a very loving and sweet thing to shave your hair in support of your friend. A friend of mine was diagnosed a year after me and lives in a different state. All of her friends in her area went to a local beauty shop with her and they all had their heads shaved. She said it was a supprisingly joyous and moving experience. You are a very special person to consider this. I have to admit that I didn't shave my hair since I had just grown mine back from the chemo--a little selfish of me I guess. Jeano

[deb_U_taunt]

so my friend is going through her chemo for stage 1 breast cancer right now and has started to loose her pretty thick long brown hair . it seems silly to care so much about your hair but its part of what makes her feel sexy and beautiful. so to my quesiton which is this . is it irrational of me to shave my head in support of her when she looses all her hair ? i told her of my plan and it amazed her and made her laugh . hair can always grow back but friends that support you through thick and thin are forever . always goodlilfemme

Hello goodlilfemme, a wonderful gesture. :)
I had friends offer and say they were shaving their heads. I didn't want anyone to. Those with long hair, I suggested a short haircut and donating their hair for wigs if they felt strongly about it. Maybe, I wanted to stay in denial as much as I could.
BUT at the same time, a friend who is going through chemo for stomach cancer, loves that everyone is shaving heads for her.at

The things that meant the most during chemo/radiation: people stopping by for hugs, a woman from work mowing my lawn in her heels (I laughed for days), a friend bringing me fried rice in several flavors one day when I was having a meltdown, people coming over and walking my dog, assorted bad hats made for me, a beautiful knit blanket a friend made, the WORST rice pudding made by a kitchen challenged friend, phone calls to say 'I love you' right I needed it.

[DapperButch]

Hello goodlilfemme, a wonderful gesture. :)
I had friends offer and say they were shaving their heads. I didn't want anyone to. Those with long hair, I suggested a short haircut and donating their hair for wigs if they felt strongly about it. Maybe, I wanted to stay in denial as much as I could.
BUT at the same time, a friend who is going through chemo for stomach cancer, loves that everyone is shaving heads for her.at

The things that meant the most during chemo/radiation: people stopping by for hugs, a woman from work mowing my lawn in her heels (I laughed for days), a friend bringing me fried rice in several flavors one day when I was having a meltdown, people coming over and walking my dog, assorted bad hats made for me, a beautiful knit blanket a friend made, the WORST rice pudding made by a kitchen challenged friend, phone calls to say 'I love you' right I needed it.

I hid it from everyone that I had cancer. The people who had to know, knew. Outside of my partner and family, the only other people that knew were my best friend and work people. I was happy that my neighbors cut my grass and I was very thankful when the EMT across the street saw me in the hallway of the ER when I had an obstruction after surgery and intervened...

I am just not good with people ... what is the word...supporting me?

It is interesting how we can all be so different.

[Aryon]

I was told about this thread by a beautiful person that I consider to be a friend. She knows who she is and I thank her. I have subscribed to the thread and will sit and read it when I can. But I wanted to post something.

Back in 2001 I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer on July 4th. By October 9th I had undergone more than a few surgeries that the surgeon hoped would allow me to keep my breasts to no avail. It took me until May of 2008 to finally face my scars through someone else's eyes and thus accept them unashamedly. It was a long hard journey.

Then in November of 2010, my partner was told she had a soccer ball sized tumour. I was there looking after her home and her while she was in hospital and afterwards. Then in 2011 when they decided to remove the tumour, I was there again. I did not feel I could have been anywhere else. I would have traded places with her if I could have. But of course that isn't possible.

Last year, again on July 4th I was told I have cancer for a second time and on Monday the 7th of Jan. 2013, I will undergo intensive and invasive surgery. No, it is not breast cancer again. But it has been said that it could possibly be a secondary cancer caused by it. I now have anal cancer which has and after the surgery will continue to change my life in many ways.

I was not afraid when I was told I had breast cancer, I really didn't have time to be. But this time I am scared and I don't care if anyone says "Damn, a Butch that admits they are scared." It is a fact of life, I want to live, I want to beat this horrid cancer but I know from Monday my life will be different and there will be no going back.

I'll post again after I have fully read the thread.

Thanks for posting and for reading.

[DapperButch]

Last year, again on July 4th I was told I have cancer for a second time and on Monday the 7th of Jan. 2013, I will undergo intensive and invasive surgery. No, it is not breast cancer again. But it has been said that it could possibly be a secondary cancer caused by it. I now have anal cancer which has and after the surgery will continue to change my life in many ways.



I had colon cancer. I am very sorry you are dealing with this. Please write as much and as often as you like. We are a supportive group here.

[mustangjeano]

I was told about this thread by a beautiful person that I consider to be a friend. She knows who she is and I thank her. I have subscribed to the thread and will sit and read it when I can. But I wanted to post something.

Back in 2001 I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer on July 4th. By October 9th I had undergone more than a few surgeries that the surgeon hoped would allow me to keep my breasts to no avail. It took me until May of 2008 to finally face my scars through someone else's eyes and thus accept them unashamedly. It was a long hard journey.

Then in November of 2010, my partner was told she had a soccer ball sized tumour. I was there looking after her home and her while she was in hospital and afterwards. Then in 2011 when they decided to remove the tumour, I was there again. I did not feel I could have been anywhere else. I would have traded places with her if I could have. But of course that isn't possible.

Last year, again on July 4th I was told I have cancer for a second time and on Monday the 7th of Jan. 2013, I will undergo intensive and invasive surgery. No, it is not breast cancer again. But it has been said that it could possibly be a secondary cancer caused by it. I now have anal cancer which has and after the surgery will continue to change my life in many ways.

I was not afraid when I was told I had breast cancer, I really didn't have time to be. But this time I am scared and I don't care if anyone says "Damn, a Butch that admits they are scared." It is a fact of life, I want to live, I want to beat this horrid cancer but I know from Monday my life will be different and there will be no going back.

I'll post again after I have fully read the thread.

Thanks for posting and for reading.

I am sending white light and healing energy to you and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers on Monday. Jeano, cancer survivor and butch who has also been "scared as hell"

[clay]

Aryon, I, too, had colon cancer....you are among people here who have walked this journey, who know cancer firsthand.
Please feel free to come in and share as often and as much or as little as you like or feel led to. I was a very scared butch as well.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Aryon}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I am so sorry you are having to go through this.
Know I am here with the others....take care of yourself....sending white light and healing energies to you also...

[sis]

..... for having a great check-up today! Its been four years since my hysterectomy and radiation therapy. I understand the fear some of you have shared.

[DapperButch]

..... for having a great check-up today! Its been four years since my hysterectomy and radiation therapy. I understand the fear some of you have shared.

Congratulations! I have a CAT scan next Tuesday and really need to call about a colonoscopy.

The CAT scan is more the important test, however, for detection. Any recurrence I may get would most likely be in my lungs, rather than my colon. Assuming it is from the primary.

[*Anya*]

Aryon, you have already been through so much. I won't pretend to know what you or anyone else that has dealt with their own cancer, has gone through.

What I do know is that stark terror, that pit, deep inside, when one hears those words: "It's cancer".

Mine was thyroid cancer. Highly curable, if caught early. I did have my thyroid removed and received a high dose radioactive iodine treatment.

The radioactive iodine needed to be repeated again the following year, as there were still some remaining (or new) spots that were found on a follow-up scan.

I continue to have full body scans with contrast, periodically, to ensure there are no new areas.

Even though I have been fortunate, I think all of us have some degree of underlying anxiety and do share some of the same thoughts running through our minds: "What if it comes back?"

I hope that if mine resurfaces, I will face it as bravely and as head-on, as you are now facing yours (and as many of the posters in this thread have).

I send my prayers, positive thoughts and truly best hopes to you over the ocean, for what you are dealing with now.

Thank you, to everyone, for sharing so honestly and openly on this thread.

[deb_U_taunt]

I hid it from everyone that I had cancer. The people who had to know, knew. Outside of my partner and family, the only other people that knew were my best friend and work people. I was happy that my neighbors cut my grass and I was very thankful when the EMT across the street saw me in the hallway of the ER when I had an obstruction after surgery and intervened...

I am just not good with people ... what is the word...supporting me?

It is interesting how we can all be so different.

It was hard for me to hide D cup to flat chest and hair to shoulder blades to bald lol I didn't wear wigs and I won't wear falsies, since they are heavy and uncomfortable. I am also very open. I lack boundaries. :sunglass:

[deb_U_taunt]

But this time I am scared and I don't care if anyone says "Damn, a Butch that admits they are scared." It is a fact of life, I want to live, I want to beat this horrid cancer but I know from Monday my life will be different and there will be no going back.

Aryon,

This human was scared, too. You have support here. This thread and the boards and chat rooms on csn.cancer.org were great support for me. Please, let us know how you are doing.

Hugs, Deb

[Lucian]

I was not afraid when I was told I had breast cancer, I really didn't have time to be. But this time I am scared and I don't care if anyone says "Damn, a Butch that admits they are scared." It is a fact of life, I want to live, I want to beat this horrid cancer but I know from Monday my life will be different and there will be no going back.



Buddy it's ok to be afraid. Most people would be. I know you are gonna make it through this fine and beat it. I just feel you are. You won before, you will win again.

[Tommi]

http://www.cancercenter.com/assets/images/misc/srmc-cancer-fighter.jpg

Aryon,
Good luck on the good fight and surgery on Monday. Drop in and say hi soon as you can ,

Tommi

[deb_U_taunt]

BOO!!! I think we lost Aryon's thread. Any updates?

Thank you,
Deb

[deb_U_taunt]

Its that time again. I meet my new oncologist Tuesday and get blood work for tumor markers. I gotta say, I hate the stress of wait and see. My mom wants to go with, but told her I was fine going alone. Why did I say that??? WTF is wrong with me.

http://farm5.staticflickr.com/4109/4972778508_209a51a55a_z.jpg

[clay]

Saw my Gynie Oncol. Fri...got yearly check up....all is good there.
Am having that "issue" again....5 days now of occult blood......the pain is back in my back (vicinity of liver/kidney area).....have lost 25 lbs since emd November til now....
So, am being referred back to the Gastro for a Camera colonoscopy.
THIS, too, shall pass....it just suckin' fucks....esp. going through this alone...:(
I will beat whatever this is, too...hell yeaaaaas, I will....:mohawk:
Universe: I put this out in a positive bubble..you know what I need and whom I need....I trust....I believe....

Good luck deb...I'm with ya darling...and I know you are with me in spirit.

[deb_U_taunt]

Saw my Gynie Oncol. Fri...got yearly check up....all is good there.
Am having that "issue" again....5 days now of occult blood......the pain is back in my back (vicinity of liver/kidney area).....have lost 25 lbs since emd November til now....
So, am being referred back to the Gastro for a Camera colonoscopy.
THIS, too, shall pass....it just suckin' fucks....esp. going through this alone...:(
I will beat whatever this is, too...hell yeaaaaas, I will....:mohawk:
Universe: I put this out in a positive bubble..you know what I need and whom I need....I trust....I believe....

Good luck deb...I'm with ya darling...and I know you are with me in spirit.

Let us know how your tests go. You will be fine. :)

[clay]

Let us know how your tests go. You will be fine. :)

sure will...thanks hon

[mustangjeano]

sure will...thanks hon

Deb and Clay, my thoughts and prayers are with you both. Waiting to hear how you both are. Jeano

[Lucian]

BOO!!! I think we lost Aryon's thread. Any updates?

Thank you,
Deb

Hi Deb...here ya go. :)

Update from Aryons Partner...............["Aryon Cole update, JAN 17, 2013 - 9:40 pm UK time: Aryon is doing well and all seems ok for the moment. Aryon is scheduled to go home tomorrow (FRI) and I suspect will post on FB at some point after, of course, UK time :) "]

[deb_U_taunt]

Hi Deb...here ya go. :)

Update from Aryons Partner...............["Aryon Cole update, JAN 17, 2013 - 9:40 pm UK time: Aryon is doing well and all seems ok for the moment. Aryon is scheduled to go home tomorrow (FRI) and I suspect will post on FB at some point after, of course, UK time :) "]


Thank you for the update, Lucian :) Glad to hear Aryon is going home and doing okay.

[Lucian]

Since Aryons thread disappeared when there was the server problems i wanted to update you all here.

Aryon is back in the hospital. Please keep those good thoughts and prayers coming.........Lucian

Update from Angelika......"Aryon Cole update JAN 20, 2013 - 4 pm UK time: Aryon is back in the Hospital. An internal infection has developed. Aryon is receiving antibiotics. I will update everyone as things change, etc. Please DO NOT call or text Aryon at this time. Wait until Aryon is back home. If you have Duncan's phone number, please text or call Duncan for updates, or alternatively, you can reach me here on FB. Thank you."

[Tommi]

http://blackwidow12.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/pd-polar-bear-sending-prayers.gif

[Lucian]

Just letting you all know i started a new thread for Aryon.

[deb_U_taunt]

I got blood work done today and they are going to push for genetic testing again. I sure would like to know for my sisters, daughter, niece and for treatment options and clinical trials.
I really like the new oncologist, he is a straight to the point kinda guy. I had the usual tumor mark blood work, plus x-rays and bone scans (Thursday) and will get results on Friday. I really don't like the waiting. I am still having neuropathy issues and some pain in my back and hips (why I am having the bone scan).
I am so over the fear of cancer coming back. I wanna just stick my head in the sand and forget.

[Tommi]

I got blood work done today and they are going to push for genetic testing again. I sure would like to know for my sisters, daughter, niece and for treatment options and clinical trials.
I really like the new oncologist, he is a straight to the point kinda guy. I had the usual tumor mark blood work, plus x-rays and bone scans (Thursday) and will get results on Friday. I really don't like the waiting. I am still having neuropathy issues and some pain in my back and hips (why I am having the bone scan).
I am so over the fear of cancer coming back. I wanna just stick my head in the sand and forget.

Hi deb,
New Doc sounds like "just what the doctor ordered" :mohawk:
I do the sand thing real well. plus, I live near the beach :)

Aches and pains ~ maybe you have a touch of rhemutizzzz, as my Gramma would say.

[deb_U_taunt]

Hi deb,
New Doc sounds like "just what the doctor ordered" :mohawk:
I do the sand thing real well. plus, I live near the beach :)

Aches and pains ~ maybe you have a touch of rhemutizzzz, as my Gramma would say.

And arthritis runs in the family, it just freaked me out a bit for him to remind me one of the ways it comes back is leukemia. And keeping my head in the sand is what got me in this mess. :|

[Tommi]

And arthritis runs in the family, it just freaked me out a bit for him to remind me one of the ways it comes back is leukemia. And keeping my head in the sand is what got me in this mess. :|

Well, I am so glad you have a Doc guiding you through the medical maze. :praying:.. Best wishes on this new adventure.
My Onchologist, is a life saver.

[DapperButch]

I am so over the fear of cancer coming back. I wanna just stick my head in the sand and forget.


Saying I know exactly what you mean is an understatement.


And keeping my head in the sand is what got me in this mess. :|

Same here. I kept my head in the sand by ignoring times of rectal bleeding when I went to the bathroom...for over a year. Then I ignored daily diarrhea for several months, pumping myself up with over the counter meds to keep it from happening. I finally did something about it when I couldn't get through a meal without having to jump up from the table due to having diarrhea.

What do you do now to keep yourself healthy? What does not keeping your head in the sand mean to you?

I have an appointment tomorrow with my oncologist to go over my CAT scan. I am a bit nervous about that.

Genetic testing? I did that. I will look back in the thread and see if you started talking about it in an earlier post to get more information. If you didn't, could you explain here?

I think that my neuropathy is less than it was. In my hands, anyway. I was surprised that it decreased even after a year of being done with chemo, as evidently, it is the first year out that determines the long term effects. My feet, however, have not improved, but I know that mine is a hell of a lot less than some other peoples, so for that I am thankful.

Please keep us updated.

[KCBUTCH]

Thank you all for everything you do-I've been fighting for family and friends for years, loss after loss. I most recently lost a dear friend only days ago after her fight wore out and it was time for her to go home.

I just wanted to take a moment to show my gratitude-none of you I know but that matters little.

http://www.pathways4all.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/thank-you.jpg

[Lucian]

I'm a survivor from 1994. I was very lucky in that it was caught early. But even luckier in that i was having a procedure done for something else when they found it. Had i not been having another medical problem. It would have been a lot longer till it would have been found i'm sure.

I've had many loved ones affected by cancer over the years too.

I met my Buddy Aryon who was very involved in Relay For Life as a survivor Hymself. With hym and others i too got more involved over the past four years. Where as in the past i had only done a few walks.

I've had loss of loved ones in my life, and others that are doing good.

I have to honestly say. I never thought my buddy Aryon would be diagnosed again. Once hy made it past that ten year mark. I don't know..I just didn't expect it.

I..like i'm sure all of you, just want to see cancer eradicated. So many people are affected themselves or have friends, family, partners that end up fighting this battle. I just hope with all i have that soon, nobody will ever have to fight that battle anymore.

I'll be keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

Those who can get involved with Relay For Life. Please do. Every penny helps.

[julieisafemme]

This is all hard to hear. I am praying for all of you survivors and hoping all the tests come back clean Deb and Dapper. My Mom is on hospice now for lung cancer with brain, spine and liver mets. I just spent the weekend with her to give my older sister a break from 24/7 caregiving. We are so blessed in that my Mom is living now in one half of a duplex owned by my brother. Her rent, utilities are paid for by him. He came and helped me take her to get an eye exam and some new glasses the other day at Costco. She loved being out and shopping!

My other sister lives in the other side of the duplex. She is an amazing cook and whatever my Mom wants for dinner she makes. They look at cooking magazines and watch cooking shows and then my Mom says "I want this for dinner"! I am the cleaner. I scrub and organize and take care of keeping the house in order. It takes a village to raise a child but it also takes a village to help someone transition!

I worry about my own health and my partner's. Mortality is a bitch! I am in a limbo state right now. I am not the best partner, Mom or rattie caregiver. My own house is a mess. It is hard. I am though so grateful that I have this time with my Mom.

[clay]

I got blood work done today and they are going to push for genetic testing again. I sure would like to know for my sisters, daughter, niece and for treatment options and clinical trials.
I really like the new oncologist, he is a straight to the point kinda guy. I had the usual tumor mark blood work, plus x-rays and bone scans (Thursday) and will get results on Friday. I really don't like the waiting. I am still having neuropathy issues and some pain in my back and hips (why I am having the bone scan).
I am so over the fear of cancer coming back. I wanna just stick my head in the sand and forget.

hey sweetheart....let me know as soon as you hear, k? I am with you!!!
There is the Sister Study...my dec. wife's sister went thru it...
before you were diagnosed, sisters had a 1 in 10 chance of having BC. Now they are at 1 in 5 chance of developing it.
So glad you liked your new oncologist, too! That makes a whole world of difference.
Aches/pains do make one worry, but shouldn't be ignored. It is far better to rule them out than to just say ahh WTH, just old age pains...:(.
My wife had neuropathy/chemo fog even at 26 months after initial rads/chemo...feet as well as hands. Her depth perception was way off after her initial 40 rad. tx.'s, too.
Dapper & Deb...I hear ya both. I am majorly concerned with the issues I am having. They began again (have had this since August)...and I demanded the Gastro take a look inside..I seeing him this Friday..to get an order to scope..so far my hgb. is WNL...so that is great. The pain in liver/kidney area comes and goes..
Anyway, it will all be a-ok...I have to believe that. I am with each of you on your journeys...I heart you all.....

[mustangjeano]

Saying I know exactly what you mean is an understatement.




Same here. I kept my head in the sand by ignoring times of rectal bleeding when I went to the bathroom...for over a year. Then I ignored daily diarrhea for several months, pumping myself up with over the counter meds to keep it from happening. I finally did something about it when I couldn't get through a meal without having to jump up from the table due to having diarrhea.

What do you do now to keep yourself healthy? What does not keeping your head in the sand mean to you?

I have an appointment tomorrow with my oncologist to go over my CAT scan. I am a bit nervous about that.

Genetic testing? I did that. I will look back in the thread and see if you started talking about it in an earlier post to get more information. If you didn't, could you explain here?

I think that my neuropathy is less than it was. In my hands, anyway. I was surprised that it decreased even after a year of being done with chemo, as evidently, it is the first year out that determines the long term effects. My feet, however, have not improved, but I know that mine is a hell of a lot less than some other peoples, so for that I am thankful.

Please keep us updated.

Hang in there Dapper. Lots of us are with you in spirit and looking forward to good news tomorrow. Jeano

[mustangjeano]

hey sweetheart....let me know as soon as you hear, k? I am with you!!!
There is the Sister Study...my dec. wife's sister went thru it...
before you were diagnosed, sisters had a 1 in 10 chance of having BC. Now they are at 1 in 5 chance of developing it.
So glad you liked your new oncologist, too! That makes a whole world of difference.
Aches/pains do make one worry, but shouldn't be ignored. It is far better to rule them out than to just say ahh WTH, just old age pains...:(.
My wife had neuropathy/chemo fog even at 26 months after initial rads/chemo...feet as well as hands. Her depth perception was way off after her initial 40 rad. tx.'s, too.
Dapper & Deb...I hear ya both. I am majorly concerned with the issues I am having. They began again (have had this since August)...and I demanded the Gastro take a look inside..I seeing him this Friday..to get an order to scope..so far my hgb. is WNL...so that is great. The pain in liver/kidney area comes and goes..
Anyway, it will all be a-ok...I have to believe that. I am with each of you on your journeys...I heart you all.....

Clay buddy, you know I am in your corner. Let us know how your appointment goes on Friday. Jeano

[mustangjeano]

I got blood work done today and they are going to push for genetic testing again. I sure would like to know for my sisters, daughter, niece and for treatment options and clinical trials.
I really like the new oncologist, he is a straight to the point kinda guy. I had the usual tumor mark blood work, plus x-rays and bone scans (Thursday) and will get results on Friday. I really don't like the waiting. I am still having neuropathy issues and some pain in my back and hips (why I am having the bone scan).
I am so over the fear of cancer coming back. I wanna just stick my head in the sand and forget.

Deb, I'm glad you like your new oncologist and are having the tests. I do know the being tired of worrying about the cancer coming back and have spent my time with my head in the sand. Sending love and prayers to you. Jeano

[deb_U_taunt]

Everyone - so far tests are appearing to look good. I can see them online and they are looking normal, 3 are flagged as high, but just over a normal range. I have NO idea what it actually means. lol One more test tomorrow. I will have to have patience and wait until Friday.

Tommi - I really do like my new oncologist. I DO NOT like the new primary, so dr shopping again for a primary. :)

Dapper - I am prone to doing the same thing, thinking 'oh hell, it will go away'. I hope your scan comes back clean. Please, let us know how you are doing. I know I stress myself out WAY more than I need to, also. It doesn't change the outcome, so its needless. Right???
The genetics test is for the BRCA gene. Since the cancer was negative for hormone receptors, I have a higher chance of recurrence and it coming back in other areas of my body. If I test positive for the gene it can help with any future treatment plans and my daughter, niece and sisters will have to be screened more often and earlier.
Head in the sand means to me; ignoring changes in my body/health, continuing to not take care of ME.
To keep myself healthy: I eat a very low-fat, high fiber diet. I do not eat soy or processed sugar. I moved closer to family, ended an unhealthy/toxic relationship (I even let hym back in after radiation, after hy left me the day after my 2nd chemo WTF) and am working from home and less hours to lower my stress level.

KC - thank you and so sorry about all the losses you have had. HUGS :)

Lucian - finding it early is such a blessing :) I pray Aryon is back out of the hospital soon (of not already) and the infection is gone.

julie - I truly feel it is harder to be the caretaker. You are amazing. It is such a loving, unselfish thing to do for a person. I have never been closer to my best friend and am in awe of what she gave to me. I am grateful every minute to have her in my life.

clay - hope you get an appt for a scope soon and don't have too wait long.

Jeano - I am working hard at not worrying about what hasn't happened. It is hard! It did motivate me to have my affairs in order. I have a safe with wills, user names and passwords, account information. HUGS and LOVE to you, too.

[clay]

good evening everyone:
Dapper...please do let us know what you find out. Know we are all here, sending you much love & support....
deb: I love you my friend! Sending you healing energies and comfort...I am always here for you...
jeano: Yes, I absolutely DO know you are in my corner...you ahve been a strong ally to me as well...and I appreciate you. I send you loving hugs my friend.
julieisa: Much hugs and comfort sent to you. I agree, yours is by far the hardest of the journeys...I walked the steps of caretaker/supporter and being the "patient".
Lucien: welcome and hugs for you buddy!
Aryon: sending you loving and healing thoughts and energies...take care..
Take care of each other and yourselves...I care for each one...:)

[DapperButch]

Hey, folks. The CAT scan was clean! Yay. Thanks for your support.

Deb- I believe it is all about what we eat, low stress, and exercise. Please consider purchasing/reading Keith Block's book, "Life Over Cancer". I went to Chicago to meet him and get some testing done. The testing determined types/dosing for supplements to assist with providing an uninhabitable place for cancer.

It is about it not coming back. I won't ramble on about it, because people have heard enough here from my jaws on the issue, but please consider eating no meat but fish, and no dairy. No processed sugar, of course, or any, actually. Sugar feeds tumors. Use Agava Nectar or Stevia. We may not be able to control if we have cancer cells or even the beginning of tumors in our bodies all the time, but we can keep them from flourishing. It is all about creating an environment that cancer does not flourish in.

http://www.lifeovercancer.com/

Take care and please keep updating us.

[deb_U_taunt]

I agree. I take supplements suggested by treatment center. I only eat fish and seafood and rarely turkey (twice in the last year). Once in a while low-fat feta (I love me some feta), otherwise no dairy. Never sugar, since as you know, cancer LOVES some sugar. I have a dog that insists we walk, too. I love to hike. :)

With that all said. A friend fought breast cancer about the same time and she ran marathons, coached volleyball, never smoked and the healthiest vegan I know.

Sometimes shit just happens.


Hey, folks. The CAT scan was clean! Yay. Thanks for your support.

Deb- I believe it is all about what we eat, low stress, and exercise. Please consider purchasing/reading Keith Block's book, "Life Over Cancer". I went to Chicago to meet him and get some testing done. The testing determined types/dosing for supplements to assist with providing an uninhabitable place for cancer.

It is about it not coming back. I won't ramble on about it, because people have heard enough here from my jaws on the issue, but please consider eating no meat but fish, and no dairy. No processed sugar, of course, or any, actually. Sugar feeds tumors. Use Agava Nectar or Stevia. We may not be able to control if we have cancer cells or even the beginning of tumors in our bodies all the time, but we can keep them from flourishing. It is all about creating an environment that cancer does not flourish in.

http://www.lifeovercancer.com/

Take care and please keep updating us.

[mustangjeano]

Dapper , YAY, thanks for sharing the great news. Hey, folks. The CAT scan was clean! Yay. Thanks for your support.

Deb- I believe it is all about what we eat, low stress, and exercise. Please consider purchasing/reading Keith Block's book, "Life Over Cancer". I went to Chicago to meet him and get some testing done. The testing determined types/dosing for supplements to assist with providing an uninhabitable place for cancer.

It is about it not coming back. I won't ramble on about it, because people have heard enough here from my jaws on the issue, but please consider eating no meat but fish, and no dairy. No processed sugar, of course, or any, actually. Sugar feeds tumors. Use Agava Nectar or Stevia. We may not be able to control if we have cancer cells or even the beginning of tumors in our bodies all the time, but we can keep them from flourishing. It is all about creating an environment that cancer does not flourish in.

http://www.lifeovercancer.com/

Take care and please keep updating us.

[mustangjeano]

Everyone - so far tests are appearing to look good. I can see them online and they are looking normal, 3 are flagged as high, but just over a normal range. I have NO idea what it actually means. lol One more test tomorrow. I will have to have patience and wait until Friday.

Tommi - I really do like my new oncologist. I DO NOT like the new primary, so dr shopping again for a primary. :)

Dapper - I am prone to doing the same thing, thinking 'oh hell, it will go away'. I hope your scan comes back clean. Please, let us know how you are doing. I know I stress myself out WAY more than I need to, also. It doesn't change the outcome, so its needless. Right???
The genetics test is for the BRCA gene. Since the cancer was negative for hormone receptors, I have a higher chance of recurrence and it coming back in other areas of my body. If I test positive for the gene it can help with any future treatment plans and my daughter, niece and sisters will have to be screened more often and earlier.
Head in the sand means to me; ignoring changes in my body/health, continuing to not take care of ME.
To keep myself healthy: I eat a very low-fat, high fiber diet. I do not eat soy or processed sugar. I moved closer to family, ended an unhealthy/toxic relationship (I even let hym back in after radiation, after hy left me the day after my 2nd chemo WTF) and am working from home and less hours to lower my stress level.

KC - thank you and so sorry about all the losses you have had. HUGS :)

Lucian - finding it early is such a blessing :) I pray Aryon is back out of the hospital soon (of not already) and the infection is gone.

julie - I truly feel it is harder to be the caretaker. You are amazing. It is such a loving, unselfish thing to do for a person. I have never been closer to my best friend and am in awe of what she gave to me. I am grateful every minute to have her in my life.

clay - hope you get an appt for a scope soon and don't have too wait long.

Jeano - I am working hard at not worrying about what hasn't happened. It is hard! It did motivate me to have my affairs in order. I have a safe with wills, user names and passwords, account information. HUGS and LOVE to you, too.

Deb, reading the good news has really made my day--doing the happy dance right now. Jeano

[clay]

Hey, folks. The CAT scan was clean! Yay. Thanks for your support.

Deb- I believe it is all about what we eat, low stress, and exercise. Please consider purchasing/reading Keith Block's book, "Life Over Cancer". I went to Chicago to meet him and get some testing done. The testing determined types/dosing for supplements to assist with providing an uninhabitable place for cancer.

It is about it not coming back. I won't ramble on about it, because people have heard enough here from my jaws on the issue, but please consider eating no meat but fish, and no dairy. No processed sugar, of course, or any, actually. Sugar feeds tumors. Use Agava Nectar or Stevia. We may not be able to control if we have cancer cells or even the beginning of tumors in our bodies all the time, but we can keep them from flourishing. It is all about creating an environment that cancer does not flourish in.

http://www.lifeovercancer.com/

Take care and please keep updating us.

YAY, Dap!!! Incredible news!!! Hugs ya bro.....just freakin' incredible....your efforts, as well as TF's have paid off.....:)....:hangloose:

[deb_U_taunt]

Deb, reading the good news has really made my day--doing the happy dance right now. Jeano


I have been all happy excited too! :) Today is a bone scan, but not as scared as I was earlier this week. Just gotta keep looking forward. :)

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SxeN6gOsnqU/T-y5JJTm6EI/AAAAAAAAAwc/6kFbRDEq0dw/s400/HappyDance3k.gif

[clay]

I have been all happy excited too! :) Today is a bone scan, but not as scared as I was earlier this week. Just gotta keep looking forward. :)

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SxeN6gOsnqU/T-y5JJTm6EI/AAAAAAAAAwc/6kFbRDEq0dw/s400/HappyDance3k.gif

hey deb...Good Luck...you are amazing! I am with you, my hand is always wrapped around yours....we got this babe!!!! YOU have fought hard...long...and YOU are so loved and adored.....loves ya....Clay......:hangloose:

[deb_U_taunt]

hey deb...Good Luck...you are amazing! I am with you, my hand is always wrapped around yours....we got this babe!!!! YOU have fought hard...long...and YOU are so loved and adored.....loves ya....Clay......:hangloose:

Thank you :) my mommy is going with me, too. I tried to talk her into staying home, but she isn't having it.

[clay]

Thank you :) my mommy is going with me, too. I tried to talk her into staying home, but she isn't having it.

awww...let her be a part of this...I know she will at most keep you "entertained"...chuckles....let me know,k? huggles

[deb_U_taunt]

awww...let her be a part of this...I know she will at most keep you "entertained"...chuckles....let me know,k? huggles

I will. I see the dr at 9:30 tomorrow. BUT I will be checking online tonight for results.

[clay]

I will. I see the dr at 9:30 tomorrow. BUT I will be checking online tonight for results.

awesome...will expect text dahlin'...:)

[DapperButch]

I agree. I take supplements suggested by treatment center. I only eat fish and seafood and rarely turkey (twice in the last year). Once in a while low-fat feta (I love me some feta), otherwise no dairy. Never sugar, since as you know, cancer LOVES some sugar. I have a dog that insists we walk, too. I love to hike. :)

With that all said. A friend fought breast cancer about the same time and she ran marathons, coached volleyball, never smoked and the healthiest vegan I know.

Sometimes shit just happens.

When it comes to breast cancer from hereditary most bets are off. If she ate meat/dairy as a child, her cells would have already mutated. The question is if she would have gotten cancer earlier than she did, if she wasn't vegan. Perhaps it was indeed her eating vegan that kept it from starting 10 years earlier. My chicago doc (Keith Block), told me it was a combination of hereditary (possibly, got additional testing, like I mentioned) and from eating animal protein when young. Yep, that was my mom. Meat, vegetable, starch at every meal.

You must believe it on some level, or you wouldn't do it. Unless you ate this way before/enjoy it this way. Personally, I hate a no meat, no dairy diet. Hate it everyday, if I am honest. Every FUCKING day, if I am really, really honest. :byebye:

[DapperButch]

YAY, Dap!!! Incredible news!!! Hugs ya bro.....just freakin' incredible....your efforts, as well as TF's have paid off.....:)....:hangloose:

Yes, Clay, I really do have TF to thank eating healthy. She is the cook around here! What she cooks is awesome, I just desperately miss meat and dairy.

[Corkey]

http://news.yahoo.com/genetic-twist-4-stranded-dna-lurks-human-cells-124030861.html

Could help personalize treatments.

[DapperButch]

http://news.yahoo.com/genetic-twist-4-stranded-dna-lurks-human-cells-124030861.html

Could help personalize treatments.

Thank you, Corkey!

[deb_U_taunt]

I am so sorry, I didn't mean to come off like wasn't worth the work of life styles changes to prevent recurrence. I truly did not intend for anyone to take it like that. I do believe it can make all the difference, but don't believe anything is a guarantee. I am also not going to blame myself for causing my cancer, because I ate a cookie. I didn't eat much meat or processed food even as a kid. I had hippie parents, who grew food and most of our protein came from beans and tofu. No meat doesn't bother me, but the no dairy is a bitch. I eat yogurt everyday, but its almond milk and just isn't the same, I agree.
You have suggested your doctor in Chicago before. I can't afford to take a flight, hotel and to go see a doctor and I know before you said if you want it, you can make it happen. And honestly I am grateful and happy for you that you can afford to do that. I barely paid off all my dr bills at the beginning of this year. I am waiting for the book 'life over cancer' to come in at the library, its coming from another branch. I am at the point though, I am not going to continue to make myself sick with guilt.

When it comes to breast cancer from hereditary most bets are off. If she ate meat/dairy as a child, her cells would have already mutated. The question is if she would have gotten cancer earlier than she did, if she wasn't vegan. Perhaps it was indeed her eating vegan that kept it from starting 10 years earlier. My chicago doc (Keith Block), told me it was a combination of hereditary (possibly, got additional testing, like I mentioned) and from eating animal protein when young. Yep, that was my mom. Meat, vegetable, starch at every meal.

You must believe it on some level, or you wouldn't do it. Unless you ate this way before/enjoy it this way. Personally, I hate a no meat, no dairy diet. Hate it everyday, if I am honest. Every FUCKING day, if I am really, really honest. :byebye:

[DapperButch]

I am so sorry, I didn't mean to come off like wasn't worth the work of life styles changes to prevent recurrence. I truly did not intend for anyone to take it like that. I do believe it can make all the difference, but don't believe anything is a guarantee. I am also not going to blame myself for causing my cancer, because I ate a cookie. I didn't eat much meat or processed food even as a kid. I had hippie parents, who grew food and most of our protein came from beans and tofu. No meat doesn't bother me, but the no dairy is a bitch. I eat yogurt everyday, but its almond milk and just isn't the same, I agree.
You have suggested your doctor in Chicago before. I can't afford to take a flight, hotel and to go see a doctor and I know before you said if you want it, you can make it happen. And honestly I am grateful and happy for you that you can afford to do that. I barely paid off all my dr bills at the beginning of this year. I am waiting for the book 'life over cancer' to come in at the library, its coming from another branch. I am at the point though, I am not going to continue to make myself sick with guilt.

I am pretty confident that I never said if you want it bad enough, you can make it happen. That simply isn't my way of thinking, so I am sure I did not say that. My mother paid for my trip, by the way, as it is not something that I could afford, either.

My mention of Chicago was not suggesting you go, it was a reference point for my mentioning of the book. I was never advocating this when I spoke of Block. It was all about his book. You also don't need to go out there if you wanted to get the testing done. Your insurance will pay for it all. I did not recall that you were on this thread when I have talked about it before. I thought you would be interested since you ate similarly.

I certainly do not feel guilt for having gotten cancer, and was not implying that you (or anyone), should either. If I returned to eating the way I used to eat (fast food several times/week, processed food, daily) and got cancer again, yes, I would blame myself a bit. Informed consent is how I see it.

[DapperButch]

Wow. Just realized the name change. Debbie = deb_U_taunt.

Now it makes more sense.

Sorry.

I need to go back and read your more recent posts (so I can get up to speed), because I did not realize you were the same person. I just thought you never came back to the thread. What month/year (?) did your name change?

[deb_U_taunt]

Wow. Just realized the name change. Debbie = deb_U_taunt.

Now it makes more sense.

Sorry.

I need to go back and read your more recent posts (so I can get up to speed), because I did not realize you were the same person. I just thought you never came back to the thread. What month/year (?) did your name change?


I changed my nick in November, when I went back home to regroup. I am sorry if I came off harsh. No excuse for my being rude. I know you said you were paying a few hundred a month for supplements and my insurance barely covers basic testing. I do my best at eating healthy, but lets be honest, organic is higher priced. My insurance didn't pay for breast reconstruction, but they did pay for the uncomfortable prosthetics. Its been a battle with insurance every step of the way.

Friday dr appt update: I am stressed gang. :( The 3 test results that were a little high and I didn't know what they were, one is 'lactate dehyrogenase' levels. This can mean everything from an infection to lymphoma. I am scared, pain old scared. Bone scan showed some 'increased activity within the right mid cervical area'.
More tests, more stress, more wait and see. Trying to stay in the moment.

[clay]

I changed my nick in November, when I went back home to regroup. I am sorry if I came off harsh. No excuse for my being rude. I know you said you were paying a few hundred a month for supplements and my insurance barely covers basic testing. I do my best at eating healthy, but lets be honest, organic is higher priced. My insurance didn't pay for breast reconstruction, but they did pay for the uncomfortable prosthetics. Its been a battle with insurance every step of the way.

Friday dr appt update: I am stressed gang. :( The 3 test results that were a little high and I didn't know what they were, one is 'lactate dehyrogenase' levels. This can mean everything from an infection to lymphoma. I am scared, pain old scared. Bone scan showed some 'increased activity within the right mid cervical area'.
More tests, more stress, more wait and see. Trying to stay in the moment.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{deb}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} You know I am right there with ya hon.....this is difficult and scary....but we are with you....sending positive energy your way....I love you my friend...Clay

[deb_U_taunt]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{deb}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} You know I am right there with ya hon.....this is difficult and scary....but we are with you....sending positive energy your way....I love you my friend...Clay

stay in today, stay in today, stay in today, stay in today

[mustangjeano]

stay in today, stay in today, stay in today, stay in today

Dearest Deb, That is a great mantra and oh so difficult to maintain in the face of such scary situations. I am glad that you keep re-focusing on being in the moment. And in that moment reaffirm to yourself that many friends are sending love and light to you. Wish I was there to walk with you. Jeano

[Tommi]

stay in today, stay in today, stay in today, stay in today
Hey.. hey....:pirate-steer:
Come over here. It's tomorrow. :)

Tuesday, another day on that calender. Here's a drink on me. Enjoy . !!
You don't know me from Adam, or Jane or Jo, but know, I get it ~that it is scary as hell, and none of us walks in your shoes. That comfort zone for ourselves can mean so many things. Wish I could help you in finding a way through the scary times to a place of fuck you cancer, I am living without you.

In the mean time, enjoy a lot of whatever makes you happy, takes your mind away on a puffy white cloud, and hug a tree, or a Teddy Bear, or someone you love and get that love back. Wish you were near. I have lottttts of Teddy Bears, and 3 cats.
http://tbhlc.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/smiley-face-coffee-cup1.jpg

[DapperButch]

Thinking of you, deb. :bouquet:

[deb_U_taunt]

Thank you. Back to reality.

http://rlv.zcache.com/forbidden_to_put_head_in_sand_fridge_magnet-p147913165999105707envtl_400.jpg

[clay]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{debbbbbb}}}}}}}}}

Got one of my "yearly" test results back....GOOD news....:). Yay!!!
Get bloodwork in March....to check tumor cell levels...:praying:

[mustangjeano]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{debbbbbb}}}}}}}}}

Got one of my "yearly" test results back....GOOD news....:). Yay!!!
Get bloodwork in March....to check tumor cell levels...:praying:

Yipeeeee! Thanks for sharing the good news Buddy.

[deb_U_taunt]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{debbbbbb}}}}}}}}}

Got one of my "yearly" test results back....GOOD news....:). Yay!!!
Get bloodwork in March....to check tumor cell levels...:praying:


Wonderful news!!! Hugs to you!!!! :)

[deb_U_taunt]

Thinking of you, deb. :bouquet:

Dapper, my dr suggested alpha lipoic acid for the neuropathy and I have been taking 600mg for about a week and it does seem to be giving me some relief. Not sure if its one on your list. :)

http://altmedicine.about.com/od/alphalipoicacid/a/alphalipoicacid.htm

[DapperButch]

Dapper, my dr suggested alpha lipoic acid for the neuropathy and I have been taking 600mg for about a week and it does seem to be giving me some relief. Not sure if its one on your list. :)

http://altmedicine.about.com/od/alphalipoicacid/a/alphalipoicacid.htm

No, haven't heard of this. Thank you very much!

[deb_U_taunt]

No, haven't heard of this. Thank you very much!

My neck doesn't seem to be as tight either. Who knows. Even if its wishful thinking, its helping. lol

[Novelafemme]

I had my second colonoscopy yesterday and my doctor said everything looks perfect! No polyps and everything looks pink and healthy! YAY! So now I can move on to the five year screening plan. :)

I woke up from the anesthesia at the very end of the procedure and got to watch a bit of it. I find it so interesting to get a glimpse at the inner-workings of my body.

[clay]

Yay! Congrats you!!!
Have an awesome day Novela....



I had my second colonoscopy yesterday and my doctor said everything looks perfect! No polyps and everything looks pink and healthy! YAY! So now I can move on to the five year screening plan. :)

I woke up from the anesthesia at the very end of the procedure and got to watch a bit of it. I find it so interesting to get a glimpse at the inner-workings of my body.

[Tommi]

I had my second colonoscopy yesterday and my doctor said everything looks perfect! No polyps and everything looks pink and healthy! YAY! So now I can move on to the five year screening plan. :)

I woke up from the anesthesia at the very end of the procedure and got to watch a bit of it. I find it so interesting to get a glimpse at the inner-workings of my body.

So, that is a good club to belong to. That. " let's do this again in 5 years ".:) Worst part is over **

I didn't wake up till it was all over, but I got a shiny CD..It is fascinating, and they gave the pics & a video on a CD..No 8 x 10 glossies :( ..:mohawk:

My Doc leaned over and said, Your colon is boring. Come back in 5 years, and let's do this again. Oh yeah...

May 15, 2013 is my 9 year cancer free follow-up appointment. :fastdraq:

[mustangjeano]

I had my second colonoscopy yesterday and my doctor said everything looks perfect! No polyps and everything looks pink and healthy! YAY! So now I can move on to the five year screening plan. :)

I woke up from the anesthesia at the very end of the procedure and got to watch a bit of it. I find it so interesting to get a glimpse at the inner-workings of my body.

Such great news! It just makes my day. Thanks for sharing. Jeano

[deb_U_taunt]

Novelafemme HUGS!!!! And another congrats on the wonderful news. :)

I had my second colonoscopy yesterday and my doctor said everything looks perfect! No polyps and everything looks pink and healthy! YAY! So now I can move on to the five year screening plan. :)

I woke up from the anesthesia at the very end of the procedure and got to watch a bit of it. I find it so interesting to get a glimpse at the inner-workings of my body.

[Novelafemme]

Thanks Folks!!! I wasn't super worried, but it sure is nice to get a break from all the craziness of testing this and that!

Much love and health to you all <3

[Tommi]

Thanks Folks!!! I wasn't super worried, but it sure is nice to get a break from all the craziness of testing this and that!

Much love and health to you all <3

Ditto..backattcha. Sure is ! :hangloose:
:pile: :heartbeat:

[deb_U_taunt]

BRCA came back positive, not sure how I feel.

Well, besides shock.

[DapperButch]

BRCA came back positive, not sure how I feel.

Well, besides shock.

Not sure what to say besides, "We're here for you".

{{{{{{Deb}}}}}} <--- all of us on the thread.

[Boots13]

BRCA came back positive, not sure how I feel.

Well, besides shock.


It's shocking news, to say the least.
Time to go to battle? Let the arrows fly -

[clay]

BRCA came back positive, not sure how I feel.

Well, besides shock.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{deb}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Let's brang out the weapons and slay this bitch...again!!!
Time to go to Battle.
I am on YOUR team..always was...always will be...
You know I love you, my bestie!!!...:wine: and :eatinghersheybar: and :sushi: and(f)

[deb_U_taunt]

Thank you, you all have been great support.

The plan of action:
First is to share with my daughter her 50/50 chance of having the gene this weekend. Then share with sisters, niece.
I am going to have my ovaries out in the next few months. (at least this surgery will be a band-aid surgery)
Continue to eat all this healthy vegan shit and supplements.
Find a clinical trial with my doctors.

Finally, have fun while working on the bucket list!!!

[deb_U_taunt]

I honestly can say I love you all. Its a very unconditional place to vent, pout and yeehaw.

[mustangjeano]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{deb}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Let's brang out the weapons and slay this bitch...again!!!
Time to go to Battle.
I am on YOUR team..always was...always will be...
You know I love you, my bestie!!!...:wine: and :eatinghersheybar: and :sushi: and(f)

Where do I go to sign up for Deb's team. I'm in.!!!!!

[mustangjeano]

BRCA came back positive, not sure how I feel.

Well, besides shock.

Deb, I am just now seeing your post. It surely is a shock but you sound strong and ready to fight. I am sending love and healing energy to you.
There are lots of people here who love you and are in your corner. Come here to vent or whatever you feel like. Jeano

[FireheartForever]

~ my mother has cancer ~

while she is not meant to b with me much longer, i find myself @ a loss as to ask god what i can say for her in my prayers. i dont think anything can prepare me for the loss of another parent. am i supposed to b ready for this? if so...i cant say i feel it. chemo is suppose to extend her life...but i dont see it giving her any quality. all i know is that all the joy in my life has left..it is replaced with a knawing sorrow of what is eniveitable. i understand what its like to not b able to do anything for someone whom u love n cant......... the uneviable position of feelin helpless ....

[deb_U_taunt]

Deb, I am just now seeing your post. It surely is a shock but you sound strong and ready to fight. I am sending love and healing energy to you.
There are lots of people here who love you and are in your corner. Come here to vent or whatever you feel like. Jeano


The shock is wearing off now. Its going to be a hard family conversation. I didn't share with them I was doing the test, since when I brought it up before it caused one sister to have a temper tantrum thinking I was telling her she was going to get cancer. She created some family drama, but its not just about her. Hell, its doesn't mean I will get cancer again.

[deb_U_taunt]

~ my mother has cancer ~

while she is not meant to b with me much longer, i find myself @ a loss as to ask god what i can say for her in my prayers. i dont think anything can prepare me for the loss of another parent. am i supposed to b ready for this? if so...i cant say i feel it. chemo is suppose to extend her life...but i dont see it giving her any quality. all i know is that all the joy in my life has left..it is replaced with a knawing sorrow of what is eniveitable. i understand what its like to not b able to do anything for someone whom u love n cant......... the uneviable position of feelin helpless ....

Fireheart, I am so sorry about your mom. I don't know what to say. It is hard to watch someone we love leave us. Hold on to good memories when you look in her eyes. Sending lots or love, prayers and hugs to you and your family.

[clay]

Where do I go to sign up for Deb's team. I'm in.!!!!!

jean...you have always been on this amazing team here.....we are all chosen family here....I am honored to know you and call you a friend here on thsi Planet.
Your kind words, your warmth, and compassion as a loving human being here in this forum makes you part of each of us...thank YOU, jean. YOU are awesome...Go Team...Rah! Rah!

[clay]

~ my mother has cancer ~

while she is not meant to b with me much longer, i find myself @ a loss as to ask god what i can say for her in my prayers. i dont think anything can prepare me for the loss of another parent. am i supposed to b ready for this? if so...i cant say i feel it. chemo is suppose to extend her life...but i dont see it giving her any quality. all i know is that all the joy in my life has left..it is replaced with a knawing sorrow of what is eniveitable. i understand what its like to not b able to do anything for someone whom u love n cant......... the uneviable position of feelin helpless ....

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Fire}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}....as my beautiful BFF deb said..there are no words except the love, comfort, and support we each offer here. Make every moment you have with her a memory. Tell her of your love for here every chance you get. Sometimes a hug does wonders.
I know this is a tragic journey, heartbreaking...to feel so helpless, powerless to make things all better for your mom....but know we here send you love, support, and feel free to come and vent here anytime. May your mom and you find comfort and peace within for this journey. Perhaps a support group in your area...there are some incredible people there as well who could walk with you in this journey...ask the local SW at the hospital...I care....

[JAGG]

BRCA came back positive, not sure how I feel.

Well, besides shock.

I guess they didn't learn their lesson last time. "They are on your left they are on your right they are in front of you and they are behind you. They can't get away this time !!"
LET ME SEE YOUR WARFACE !!!! I am only a phone call away friend .

[Tommi]

I honestly can say I love you all. Its a very unconditional place to vent, pout and yeehaw.

Yeah, it is, and it is open 24/7. :rrose:

Some rough stuff comes our way, and fight as we can, tough as we are, and gentle as a lamb at times, we understand.

My best advice came from my Mom's chemo oncologist.

Go have lunch, smile at each other and see if you have anything in your teeth. Other than that, share the good and the bad, and most of all just listen. The words and the tears will come and go.

Lung cancer, then a heart attack took my Mom too early, and she was gone when I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer, but I talked it over with her anyway. :tea:
Now, I need to look up some stuff....love the internet

[mustangjeano]

jean...you have always been on this amazing team here.....we are all chosen family here....I am honored to know you and call you a friend here on thsi Planet.
Your kind words, your warmth, and compassion as a loving human being here in this forum makes you part of each of us...thank YOU, jean. YOU are awesome...Go Team...Rah! Rah!

Thank you my brother. I am proud and blessed to be your friend. The folks who post on this thread are my adopted family . There are so many good people offering such love and support to each other here.

[mustangjeano]

~ my mother has cancer ~

while she is not meant to b with me much longer, i find myself @ a loss as to ask god what i can say for her in my prayers. i dont think anything can prepare me for the loss of another parent. am i supposed to b ready for this? if so...i cant say i feel it. chemo is suppose to extend her life...but i dont see it giving her any quality. all i know is that all the joy in my life has left..it is replaced with a knawing sorrow of what is eniveitable. i understand what its like to not b able to do anything for someone whom u love n cant......... the uneviable position of feelin helpless ....

Fireheart thank you for posting and sharing so intimately your feelings at this horribly sad and difficult time. All you can do at this time is the best you can give at any given time--some days it will be a lot and others maybe less. I know what you mean about not being ready for your Mom to leave--it's always too soon. Please know that she will always be with you--I often feel my Mom's presence. Please post whenever you want us--there are so many great, compassionate, loving people here. You and your Mom are in my thoughts and prayers. Jeano

[goodlilfemme]

(((((((((((((fireheart))))))))))))))))))))) major hugs for you . know that your absolutely not alone in dealing with your feelings right now. know that im thinking of you and wishing for comfort for you , always goodlilfemme


Fireheart thank you for posting and sharing so intimately your feelings at this horribly sad and difficult time. All you can do at this time is the best you can give at any given time--some days it will be a lot and others maybe less. I know what you mean about not being ready for your Mom to leave--it's always too soon. Please know that she will always be with you--I often feel my Mom's presence. Please post whenever you want us--there are so many great, compassionate, loving people here. You and your Mom are in my thoughts and prayers. Jeano

[clay]

((((((((((((((((((((((deb u taunt)))))))))))))))))))))))....:byebye:

[Tommi]

This thread....

is such a powerful, hauntingingly thought provoking, compassionate and sometimes sad, sometiimes gloriously wonderful place to see.

All with our own hopes and prayers, friends and families, we have a pkace to come and share, acknowledge, or just support in thought.

Our worlds are just an enter key, an electronic highway away. Driving by to say Love, and Thoughts, and precious memories be with you all.

Tommi.

[deb_U_taunt]

I am counting down the damn days. This is so frustrating. Its been 18 months since my last chemo treatment and while its better, its still a pain in the ass.

Chemo Brain:
While frustrating, the ultimate outcome is very good: symptoms typically disappear in about four years.

[clay]

Had my 15 month Check Up today with my Oncology Practitioner.
My CEA is within normal limits, has come down 1 point...:).
I go again in June, and again in September. That will be my yearly Re Scan..CT chest/abd/pelvis with IV Contrast.

I am very happy that today she told me my chances that were 59% Survival rate, now bring me up to a 75% 5 year survival rate...and that each 3 month checkup, being within normal ranges, decreases my chances of recurrence.
I am very happy with this, but by same token, I feel a sense of sadness to post my good news here.....a bittersweet kind of feeling....(w). I know all of us here will understand this...

Know my heart is with each and everyone of us..always...I heart you all...Clay

[mustangjeano]

Had my 15 month Check Up today with my Oncology Practitioner.
My CEA is within normal limits, has come down 1 point...:).
I go again in June, and again in September. That will be my yearly Re Scan..CT chest/abd/pelvis with IV Contrast.

I am very happy that today she told me my chances that were 59% Survival rate, now bring me up to a 75% 5 year survival rate...and that each 3 month checkup, being within normal ranges, decreases my chances of recurrence.
I am very happy with this, but by same token, I feel a sense of sadness to post my good news here.....a bittersweet kind of feeling....(w). I know all of us here will understand this...

Know my heart is with each and everyone of us..always...I heart you all...Clay

Hey Bro, thanks for sharing your good news--never feel sad about that--we all rejoice with you and need to hear the good news stories. It gives hope to everyone.

[clay]

Hey Bro, thanks for sharing your good news--never feel sad about that--we all rejoice with you and need to hear the good news stories. It gives hope to everyone.

Hey Jean..thanks so much! I so appreciate you. You are one of the kindest, most compassionate, and solid people I know. You are always so wonderful for each of us here.

You mean so very much to me, and the others here as well.

Thanks..have a great weekend Jean...Clay

[deb_U_taunt]

Had my 15 month Check Up today with my Oncology Practitioner.
My CEA is within normal limits, has come down 1 point...:).
I go again in June, and again in September. That will be my yearly Re Scan..CT chest/abd/pelvis with IV Contrast.

I am very happy that today she told me my chances that were 59% Survival rate, now bring me up to a 75% 5 year survival rate...and that each 3 month checkup, being within normal ranges, decreases my chances of recurrence.
I am very happy with this, but by same token, I feel a sense of sadness to post my good news here.....a bittersweet kind of feeling....(w). I know all of us here will understand this...

Know my heart is with each and everyone of us..always...I heart you all...Clay


wonderful wonderful news!!!! shout happy thoughts, its not bittersweet by no means. happy news is the best news

[kittygrrl]

I am counting down the damn days. This is so frustrating. Its been 18 months since my last chemo treatment and while its better, its still a pain in the ass.

Chemo Brain:
While frustrating, the ultimate outcome is very good: symptoms typically disappear in about four years.

It's been several years for my sister and she says she is just now feeling what used to be normal. She had lung cancer, had a partial lung removal, chemo that almost killed her three times..she had bone scans every 3 months for years but the last few years twice a year. It's been grueling with a lot of other kinds of heart ache along the way. She is brave, much braver then I would be.

[deb_U_taunt]

It's been several years for my sister and she says she is just now feeling what used to be normal. She had lung cancer, had a partial lung removal, chemo that almost killed her three times..she had bone scans every 3 months for years but the last few years twice a year. It's been grueling with a lot of other kinds of heart ache along the way. She is brave, much braver then I would be.

kittygirl, its amazing what strength you have when you need it. We can surprise ourselves with what we are capable of. Your inner strength is there.

Glad to to hear your sister is moving forward and is still in recovery. :)

Hugs, Deb

[DapperButch]

:blowingitup:

:blowingitup:



HAPPY COLONOSCOPY DAY TOMORROW, DAPPER!

:blowingitup:

:blowingitup:

[rhopar]

As a cancer survivor of 9 years on this coming November 21, 2013, I would like to send prayers to all who are fighting this terrible disease. Never give up, stay faithful, keep praying and fight, fight, fight!! Many, many people have won this battle and you can also!!

[mustangjeano]

:blowingitup:

:blowingitup:



HAPPY COLONOSCOPY DAY TOMORROW, DAPPER!

:blowingitup:

:blowingitup:

Hey Dapper, by now you have already been thru the worst part ( drinking the stuff and cleaning out) except for waiting for the results. I will be thinking the very best thoughts for good news. We will all celebrate with you! Jean

[DapperButch]

Hey Dapper, by now you have already been thru the worst part ( drinking the stuff and cleaning out) except for waiting for the results. I will be thinking the very best thoughts for good news. We will all celebrate with you! Jean

Well, it is time for that celebration! No cancer, here!

2 polyps. Back in 18 months. :hangloose:

[mustangjeano]

Well, it is time for that celebration! No cancer, here!

2 polyps. Back in 18 months. :hangloose:

WoooHoooo! Thanks for sharing the great news. That is, without a DOUBT, THE BEST NEWS i HAVE HEARD TRODAy. Jean

[Tommi]

Well, it is time for that celebration! No cancer, here!

2 polyps. Back in 18 months. :hangloose:

:pile: :dance1: :danceparty::danceparty::danceparty:

[Tommi]

As a cancer survivor of 9 years on this coming November 21, 2013, I would like to send prayers to all who are fighting this terrible disease. Never give up, stay faithful, keep praying and fight, fight, fight!! Many, many people have won this battle and you can also!!

Hey Hey..way to go. Yep, keep on keepin on .:fastdraq:

We are in the same club. May 15th will be 9 years for me. :LGBTQFlag::snooker::goodscore:

[DapperButch]

Hey Hey..way to go. Yep, keep on keepin on .:fastdraq:

We are in the same club. May 15th will be 9 years for me. :LGBTQFlag::snooker::goodscore:

Congrats, Tommi!

[deb_U_taunt]

Well, it is time for that celebration! No cancer, here!

2 polyps. Back in 18 months. :hangloose:

Fantastic news!!!!

http://bkwalkerbooks.com/Covers/2012/11/animated_dance-9e32e61d6b5454d844359c79fdd2d70b.gif

[clay]

YAY! for Dapper!!!

May 29, I will undergo a colonoscopy with a procedure being done for the bleeding as well as an endoscopy and a "stretching" of the esophagus to follow the colonoscopy! So, I am getting a "two for one".
My fiancee' will be here to go with, and being an RN is a HUGE relief for me to have her there....:).

[mustangjeano]

YAY! for Dapper!!!

May 29, I will undergo a colonoscopy with a procedure being done for the bleeding as well as an endoscopy and a "stretching" of the esophagus to follow the colonoscopy! So, I am getting a "two for one".
My fiancee' will be here to go with, and being an RN is a HUGE relief for me to have her there....:).

Clay, my Friend, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for great results from your procedures. I know it will help to have your own personal nurse(wink)--glad she will be there with you. Keep us posted on how you are. Jeano

[deb0670]

Will be keeping You in my thoughts and prayers Clay.




YAY! for Dapper!!!

May 29, I will undergo a colonoscopy with a procedure being done for the bleeding as well as an endoscopy and a "stretching" of the esophagus to follow the colonoscopy! So, I am getting a "two for one".
My fiancee' will be here to go with, and being an RN is a HUGE relief for me to have her there....:).

[deb0670]

Thank You for this Spirit Dancer.
It is exactly what i did when Ethan had Cancer.





As a caregiver I want to post and to enlighten those who've never dealt with Cancer or any other long term chronic illness.
Your caregiver is the one who, gets every imaginable throwback, the happy days, sad days, angry days,
the I don't want to go on days and the days.
The days with good news, bad news and no news.
If there is a change we are there, we clean and cook,
we bathe and care for our loved ones.
Out of love, we are there.
We allow them to shed tears even when we hide our own,
we laugh, we share and in the most heart breaking cases
we watch them cross over.

We are tired, worn out sleep deprived but we march on.
They depend on us, for we are their Nurses, their Pharmacy, their Cooks, their Transporters and their advocate,
we get things done when they cannot. They trust us and confide in us
and we stay strong for them, giving them encouragement even on the darkest days.
Not every Cancer patient has multiple caregivers,
so when people think that caregiver is short, or curt, flighty, in a hurry.
Give some consideration they might be on day three, with only six hours of sleep, in 72 hours and multitasking to no end just to make sure their loved ones get the care they so richly deserve.

[deb0670]

I have spent the last hour reading this thread, wishing i would have found it sooner. I have not experienced Cancer first hand,. but have been the Caregiver of Ethan when He was diagnosed with Endometrial Cancer. It was a huge scare for Him, and for me.. and our daughter.
i had to be the strength and the glue that held us all together.
He had a complete radical Hysterectomy and they caught it soon enough so He did not need Radiation nor Chemo. He is doing good now.

I found out a few months back about my step dad having Bladder Cancer and it has spread to his lymph nodes. He tried doing Chemo twice and his white blood cells diminished too badly both times, so they refuse to do more. He had a router rooter type procedure done where they went thru his urethra up to his prostrate and cleaned him out so he could urinate better.. but .. there is nothing else they can do for him
My mom is having such a hard time with all this. He is the first and only man my mom was ever in love with.
It hurts me to see her deal with this.. and me being all the way in GA and her being in Cali.
i am waiting for the call or the text or FB message to let me know when i(we) have to plan a trip there.

I want to wish all who have/had cancer.... and all of their/us caregivers hope and happiness and love.
my prayers and support are with you.
Sorry for the ramblings..

[Tommi]

Andrew,
After a tough couple of months, and DustyBoy Kitty passing through on May 1st, I realized how time flies
I celebrated 6 years of being cancer free on May 15. Endometrial cancer diagnosis shook my world and it felt like the air was sucked out of the universe. After radical total hysterectomy, and 16 lymph nodes removed, i did well UNTIL...I got a massive infection that almost killed me.

I live every day to the fullest, and love like there is no tomorrow..Thanks for all the love and positive energy.

Tommi

Update.
I am now 9 years cancer free.

I have learned and lived and loved alot. I highly recommend it. THAT annual appointment at 7AM with my Oncologist is looming, I can't sleep, so..this is a healthy place to hang out.

Think I'll go make some hot chocolate and cinnamon toast.

[mustangjeano]

Update.
I am now 9 years cancer free.

I have learned and lived and loved alot. I highly recommend it. THAT annual appointment at 7AM with my Oncologist is looming, I can't sleep, so..this is a healthy place to hang out.

Think I'll go make some hot chocolate and cinnamon toast.

Thinking of you Bud and hoping all is well. Jeano

[Tommi]

Thinking of you Bud and hoping all is well. Jeano

Thanks Jeano,

I made my follow-up appointment for May 14, 2014, my 10 year Anniversary :)

All went well, always glad to see them under these circumstances. Exams, tests and "results will be in the mail". I took several days off work for R & R Now, back to living life to it's fullest. Where is that bull named Fumanchu

[DapperButch]

Thanks Jeano,

I made my follow-up appointment for May 14, 2014, my 10 year Anniversary :)

All went well, always glad to see them under these circumstances. Exams, tests and "results will be in the mail". I took several days off work for R & R Now, back to living life to it's fullest. Where is that bull named Fumanchu

Yay! About time you came back to report in, Tommi! Damn, just make us all wait (a day)! :fastdraq:

Congrats!

[Tommi]

Yay! About time you came back to report in, Tommi! Damn, just make us all wait (a day)! :fastdraq:

Congrats!

Hey you...Thanks for the concern, and ...the smile at your post. :beerbros::dance2:

[Novelafemme]

A beautiful friend passed away last night from ovarian cancer. She fought so incredibly hard all the way and willed herself to stay alive to see her oldest daughter graduate from college and her youngest son from high school...both on the same day.

The world is a little less bright today but the angels have another sister to dance with. I love you T and I miss you already. :bunchflowers:

[Tommi]

So sorry to hear about your friend Novelafemme.
I honor that fight and the respect she earns as she journey's through this life to another. http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-small/dancing-angels-marina-petro.jpg

[deb0670]

*hugss* my condolences



A beautiful friend passed away last night from ovarian cancer. She fought so incredibly hard all the way and willed herself to stay alive to see her oldest daughter graduate from college and her youngest son from high school...both on the same day.

The world is a little less bright today but the angels have another sister to dance with. I love you T and I miss you already. :bunchflowers:

[deb_U_taunt]

struggling a bit today.

Its been 18 months since the last chemo. I am coming into the 2-3 yr time frame that mets most likely happen at. A friend at work was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months before me and she had a seizure at work last Monday and she has brain mets and was told 6 months. My staging and grade was higher than her's. SOOO I go this Friday for blood work (which was off last time a couple months ago and there was activity mid cervical on an xray) and I have been having some concerns, like headaches, energy, night sweats, small lump on neck. I hope its just canceritis and I am only scaring myself. I want this fear to go away. I don't like having fear over something I have NO control over. I think I need a hot bath and meditation.

[wahya]

I will be breast cancer free (depends on who you go by the oncologist/the surgeon who removed the tumor/ the radiologist) But I go by the date I received the news Dec 7 2010. My next scan will be in two weeks. I start getting a little anxiety by the last week before the scan. My health has been great. I have turned my life around inside & out. I believe in the power of positive thinking. My caregiver was my ex gf who did the best she could for me. I was a terrible VERY terrible patient for her. I won my battle with cancer but lost her. It was a terrible time in my life before during & after. We didn't have a shot in hell. I used to blame the end of our relationship on the cancer but even though I do believe it played a part in it. I was the reason for it ending. I was angry bitter and selfish. I only hope she is now happy and knows I did appreciate her helping me through one of the toughest times in my life and know she will always carry a piece of my heart with her. All caregivers are truly angels in disguise. :)

[DapperButch]

struggling a bit today.

Its been 18 months since the last chemo. I am coming into the 2-3 yr time frame that mets most likely happen at. A friend at work was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months before me and she had a seizure at work last Monday and she has brain mets and was told 6 months. My staging and grade was higher than her's. SOOO I go this Friday for blood work (which was off last time a couple months ago and there was activity mid cervical on an xray) and I have been having some concerns, like headaches, energy, night sweats, small lump on neck. I hope its just canceritis and I am only scaring myself. I want this fear to go away. I don't like having fear over something I have NO control over. I think I need a hot bath and meditation.

Oh, gosh, Deb. I'm so sorry. I would be worried too. But, YES, it IS just canceritis! Keep your head up and keep the faith!

(I know, easier said than done). :-(

[wahya]

struggling a bit today.

Its been 18 months since the last chemo. I am coming into the 2-3 yr time frame that mets most likely happen at. A friend at work was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months before me and she had a seizure at work last Monday and she has brain mets and was told 6 months. My staging and grade was higher than her's. SOOO I go this Friday for blood work (which was off last time a couple months ago and there was activity mid cervical on an xray) and I have been having some concerns, like headaches, energy, night sweats, small lump on neck. I hope its just canceritis and I am only scaring myself. I want this fear to go away. I don't like having fear over something I have NO control over. I think I need a hot bath and meditation.
yes think positive! I know how you feel. and find support. I had but one person who supported me. it was not enough. I finally joined a support group and I am glad I did. FINALLY people that know what it was like physically & emotionally. Even after the battle. People don't realize there are no fireworks going off inside of you just because the battle is over. inside it has just begun. If you need to talk I am here. :)

[mustangjeano]

I will be breast cancer free (depends on who you go by the oncologist/the surgeon who removed the tumor/ the radiologist) But I go by the date I received the news Dec 7 2010. My next scan will be in two weeks. I start getting a little anxiety by the last week before the scan. My health has been great. I have turned my life around inside & out. I believe in the power of positive thinking. My caregiver was my ex gf who did the best she could for me. I was a terrible VERY terrible patient for her. I won my battle with cancer but lost her. It was a terrible time in my life before during & after. We didn't have a shot in hell. I used to blame the end of our relationship on the cancer but even though I do believe it played a part in it. I was the reason for it ending. I was angry bitter and selfish. I only hope she is now happy and knows I did appreciate her helping me through one of the toughest times in my life and know she will always carry a piece of my heart with her. All caregivers are truly angels in disguise. :)

Wow! It sounds like you are describing my cancer experience. We have a lot in common. I applaud your honesty about your part in the process. I agree about positive thinking. Sounds like you have done a loit of good internal work---congratulations on continuing good health. Jeano

[clay]

I had my two procedures on the 29th. Things went well with both. My lovely fiancee' was with me for the week....she really took excellent care of me, too! I am truly blessed!

Awaiting results of two biopsies taken...Am remaining positive!

Thank you to each one of you here...who offer your kind words, warm hugs, and support. This means the world to me. I miss all of you, think of you often...:).

Warm hugs and much love to you all....:)

[Tommi]

Thanks Jeano,

I made my follow-up appointment for May 14, 2014, my 10 year Anniversary :)

All went well, always glad to see them under these circumstances. Exams, tests and "results will be in the mail". I took several days off work for R & R Now, back to living life to it's fullest. Where is that bull named Fumanchu



The dreaded phone call came on Friday.

"We need you to come back for a follow-up as the Pap results showed some atypical cells. Doc wants to do a Colposcopy"

A what?? I can come in tomorrow, I mean Monday"

"The first appointment we have available is on the 19th at 7:00AM, and in case he needs to do a biopsy it will be done at that time." ...
What is a colposcopy anyway? ......as I am Googling it...Endometrial cancer, follow-ups for atypical cells, a magnifying light, acetic acid...oy vey*

as the Nurse is saying ....These things are just routine, and negative 9 times out of 10, just a little burning, and uncomfortable cramps possibly for a day or two and..... as my mind wandered off to the beach.

Who the hell can call this routine after 9 years of negative pap smears /post total radical hysterectomy with 16 lymph nodes donated to science***I thought it was "my prostate" surgery in the first place.

I hate waiting. So, to wile away the team, so I gessoed a huge canvas...:artist:
Hmmm. either a peaceful landscape or a rolling stormy seascape 3 X 4 feet

[mustangjeano]

The dreaded phone call came on Friday.

"We need you to come back for a follow-up as the Pap results showed some atypical cells. Doc wants to do a Colposcopy"

A what?? I can come in tomorrow, I mean Monday"

"The first appointment we have available is on the 19th at 7:00AM, and in case he needs to do a biopsy it will be done at that time." ...
What is a colposcopy anyway? ......as I am Googling it...Endometrial cancer, follow-ups for atypical cells, a magnifying light, acetic acid...oy vey*

as the Nurse is saying ....These things are just routine, and negative 9 times out of 10, just a little burning, and uncomfortable cramps possibly for a day or two and..... as my mind wandered off to the beach.

Who the hell can call this routine after 9 years of negative pap smears /post total radical hysterectomy with 16 lymph nodes donated to science***I thought it was "my prostate" surgery in the first place.

I hate waiting. So, to wile away the team, so I gessoed a huge canvas...:artist:
Hmmm. either a peaceful landscape or a rolling stormy seascape 3 X 4 feet

Hey Tommi, It really sucks to have to wait til the 19 for that procedure. I am holding very positive thoughts for you from now until you are done and have great good news from the tests. Jeano

[Tommi]

(((((((((JeanOOOoo))))) big thanks

[Genesis]

Thank you Andrew for starting this thread:goodpost:
As a caregiver I want to post and to enlighten those who've never dealt with Cancer or any other long term chronic illness.
Your caregiver is the one who, gets every imaginable throwback, the happy days, sad days, angry days,
the I don't want to go on days and the days.
The days with good news, bad news and no news.
If there is a change we are there, we clean and cook,
we bathe and care for our loved ones.
Out of love, we are there.
We allow them to shed tears even when we hide our own,
we laugh, we share and in the most heart breaking cases
we watch them cross over.

We are tired, worn out sleep deprived but we march on.
They depend on us, for we are their Nurses, their Pharmacy, their Cooks, their Transporters and their advocate,
we get things done when they cannot. They trust us and confide in us
and we stay strong for them, giving them encouragement even on the darkest days.
Not every Cancer patient has multiple caregivers,
so when people think that caregiver is short, or curt, flighty, in a hurry.
Give some consideration they might be on day three, with only six hours of sleep, in 72 hours and multitasking to no end just to make sure their loved ones get the care they so richly deserve.

I could have never said this more eloquently than you did, Spirit Dancer...
I am the caregiver for my Mom who has multiple myeloma. There will be no remission for her... just keeping her quality of life as best as it can be....

[Tommi]

I could have never said this more eloquently than you did, Spirit Dancer...
I am the caregiver for my Mom who has multiple myeloma. There will be no remission for her... just keeping her quality of life as best as it can be....

Genesis,
Sending Best wishes and sharing some strength with you. Sorry to hear about your Mom's condition. Knowing she has love and someone to listen and care are the gifts you can give. Please come back and let us know how you are doing.
http://media-cache-ec3.pinimg.com/192x/e5/c3/f2/e5c3f2205dda638dddb6aef1d98ec934.jpg

[nanners]

The dreaded phone call came on Friday.

"We need you to come back for a follow-up as the Pap results showed some atypical cells. Doc wants to do a Colposcopy"

A what?? I can come in tomorrow, I mean Monday"

"The first appointment we have available is on the 19th at 7:00AM, and in case he needs to do a biopsy it will be done at that time." ...
What is a colposcopy anyway? ......as I am Googling it...Endometrial cancer, follow-ups for atypical cells, a magnifying light, acetic acid...oy vey*

as the Nurse is saying ....These things are just routine, and negative 9 times out of 10, just a little burning, and uncomfortable cramps possibly for a day or two and..... as my mind wandered off to the beach.

Who the hell can call this routine after 9 years of negative pap smears /post total radical hysterectomy with 16 lymph nodes donated to science***I thought it was "my prostate" surgery in the first place.

I hate waiting. So, to wile away the team, so I gessoed a huge canvas...:artist:
Hmmm. either a peaceful landscape or a rolling stormy seascape 3 X 4 feet

Oh Tommi,
I am so sorry you got that call...you'll be in my thoughts and prayers everyday and I'll be waiting for the all clear on the 19th or whenever you find out the results. Big hugs to you. Keep on painting and creating, it is good for your soul. ((((Tommi))))

[deb_U_taunt]

Good luck this week with your results...much love

I had my two procedures on the 29th. Things went well with both. My lovely fiancee' was with me for the week....she really took excellent care of me, too! I am truly blessed!

Awaiting results of two biopsies taken...Am remaining positive!

Thank you to each one of you here...who offer your kind words, warm hugs, and support. This means the world to me. I miss all of you, think of you often...:).

Warm hugs and much love to you all....:)

[deb_U_taunt]

Hopefully having you wait until the 19th means they don't have any concerns. Damn thats a long wait. Hugs to you!


The dreaded phone call came on Friday.

"We need you to come back for a follow-up as the Pap results showed some atypical cells. Doc wants to do a Colposcopy"

A what?? I can come in tomorrow, I mean Monday"

"The first appointment we have available is on the 19th at 7:00AM, and in case he needs to do a biopsy it will be done at that time." ...
What is a colposcopy anyway? ......as I am Googling it...Endometrial cancer, follow-ups for atypical cells, a magnifying light, acetic acid...oy vey*

as the Nurse is saying ....These things are just routine, and negative 9 times out of 10, just a little burning, and uncomfortable cramps possibly for a day or two and..... as my mind wandered off to the beach.

Who the hell can call this routine after 9 years of negative pap smears /post total radical hysterectomy with 16 lymph nodes donated to science***I thought it was "my prostate" surgery in the first place.

I hate waiting. So, to wile away the team, so I gessoed a huge canvas...:artist:
Hmmm. either a peaceful landscape or a rolling stormy seascape 3 X 4 feet

[deb_U_taunt]

After blood work last week, Dr sent me for more blood work and a brain and neck MRI. We meet Thursday. I am in constant prayer right now.

[clay]

After blood work last week, Dr sent me for more blood work and a brain and neck MRI. We meet Thursday. I am in constant prayer right now.

((((((((((((((((((((deb))))))))))))))))))))))))
Holding you close, my sweet friend! Know you ARE in my prayers always...love you much! xoxo

[Tommi]

Hopefully having you wait until the 19th means they don't have any concerns. Damn that's a long wait. Hugs to you!

You are right ,,I didn't think of that. Thank you.
After blood work last week, Dr sent me for more blood work and a brain and neck MRI. We meet Thursday. I am in constant prayer right now.
http://www.worcesterdiocese.org/Portals/7/consoling_hands.jpg
You are in my prayers (((((((deb))))))). The MRI is the best way to see the good, bad and the ugly. So, glad you are getting the Good Looked at. and yes, the damn waiting sucks.

[mustangjeano]

After blood work last week, Dr sent me for more blood work and a brain and neck MRI. We meet Thursday. I am in constant prayer right now.

Deb, I'm glad your Doc. is extra careful and that way you can rule out any bad stuff . My loving energy headed your way. Jean

[Genesis]

After blood work last week, Dr sent me for more blood work and a brain and neck MRI. We meet Thursday. I am in constant prayer right now.

Sending my prayers and positive energy your way...

[Genesis]

Genesis,
Sending Best wishes and sharing some strength with you. Sorry to hear about your Mom's condition. Knowing she has love and someone to listen and care are the gifts you can give. Please come back and let us know how you are doing.
http://media-cache-ec3.pinimg.com/192x/e5/c3/f2/e5c3f2205dda638dddb6aef1d98ec934.jpg


Tommi, thank you for your kind words. I took her to get a pet scan of her whole body and earlier today to get a ct scan of her stomach and pelvic area... We meet with her Oncologist and Primary in two weeks to see how it goes... the pain in her stomach keeps getting worse... will see how it all turns out... also sending my prayers and positive energy to everyone in this group...Tommi I'm rooting you get good news on the 19th... hang in thea...

[Tommi]

Tommi, thank you for your kind words. I took her to get a pet scan of her whole body and earlier today to get a ct scan of her stomach and pelvic area... We meet with her Oncologist and Primary in two weeks to see how it goes... the pain in her stomach keeps getting worse... will see how it all turns out... also sending my prayers and positive energy to everyone in this group...Tommi I'm rooting you get good news on the 19th... hang in thea...

Glad to see the "we" in your post.(f) It is great to have someone that isn't afraid to be with you when you have these scary things going on. Just to ride with, chat with, talk abut nothing. Enjoy the silence with her as her mind encompasses the things we never ever thought about, never ever planned in our daytimer or on a calender as part of that day to day routine of living the real life.

Thanks for the hi 5, and PLEASE come on in here and let us know how she is, and ....also importantly, how you are, even if it is a drove by hello. :candle::praying:
Adding "Genesis Special One" to the special peeps list that we keep in our daily thoughts and prayers here in the unique club, we never wanted to join. :| Let her know there is special energy of strangers around the Planet that are pulling for her. :moonstars: (*strange~ not me though) :mohawk:

[Genesis]

Tommi, again, thank you for the kind words. It means a lot. My Mom has her husband (my Father) and me during this process. I am beyond bless and fortunate that he is part of our support system. My heart and love goes out to all the caretakers out there who are only themselves. It's tough... As of right now my Mom is going as good as she can with her current condition. As for me... am evolving... just taking things in stride...the thing I always keep in the forefront of my mind is that she is the one going through it and if she can manage to get up each morning, be happy and smile, I got no choice but to do the same. My prayers and love and positive energy to every single person in this group going through the journey or being a companion along the way....


Glad to see the "we" in your post.(f) It is great to have someone that isn't afraid to be with you when you have these scary things going on. Just to ride with, chat with, talk abut nothing. Enjoy the silence with her as her mind encompasses the things we never ever thought about, never ever planned in our daytimer or on a calender as part of that day to day routine of living the real life.

Thanks for the hi 5, and PLEASE come on in here and let us know how she is, and ....also importantly, how you are, even if it is a drove by hello. :candle::praying:
Adding "Genesis Special One" to the special peeps list that we keep in our daily thoughts and prayers here in the unique club, we never wanted to join. :| Let her know there is special energy of strangers around the Planet that are pulling for her. :moonstars: (*strange~ not me though) :mohawk:

[Italian_Girl]

Not sure if I am doing this right it's my first time posting and not sure how to so if I put this in the wrong place or did something wrong please excuse me.

I am also a caregiver have been for many years. I have seen many people pass from all kinds of cancer and whatnot. It wasn't until I had to stop caring for strangers and cared for my mom that it had affected me. She was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and passed away within 4 months. Since then I have kinda distanced myself with people and am not able to connect emotionally I just kind of go through the motions (except for my girlfriend/friend) not sure how to get over it or if I can.
My mom passed away almost 3 years ago. Her birthday is tomorrow she would have been 71 her 3 yr anniversary of her death is January 6th at noon. I was the one who pronounced her death and wont ever forget that day. I am now living with my Dad and looking after him but still am a caregiver for a close family member as well. They say it gets easier with time but for me it seems to be getting worse. I just keep detaching. Never felt more alone. Thinking about giving up the caregiving but spent so much of my life doing it my other skills are too old and not updated for work as anything else.

[Genesis]

Italian Girl ~hugs tightly~ I am so sorry for your loss... My condolences... The process of loss for each individual is so unique and so personal, that only as you go through this journey, you will know how it feels and how it will play out. Have you considered counseling or group therapy? I will be more than glad to listen if you need to talk... It is admirable that you are now taking care of your Father and another family member... but also remember you got to take care of you... if you don't take care of you... then who will? My prayers and positive energy for you and your loved ones...
Not sure if I am doing this right it's my first time posting and not sure how to so if I put this in the wrong place or did something wrong please excuse me.

I am also a caregiver have been for many years. I have seen many people pass from all kinds of cancer and whatnot. It wasn't until I had to stop caring for strangers and cared for my mom that it had affected me. She was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and passed away within 4 months. Since then I have kinda distanced myself with people and am not able to connect emotionally I just kind of go through the motions (except for my girlfriend/friend) not sure how to get over it or if I can.
My mom passed away almost 3 years ago. Her birthday is tomorrow she would have been 71 her 3 yr anniversary of her death is January 6th at noon. I was the one who pronounced her death and wont ever forget that day. I am now living with my Dad and looking after him but still am a caregiver for a close family member as well. They say it gets easier with time but for me it seems to be getting worse. I just keep detaching. Never felt more alone. Thinking about giving up the caregiving but spent so much of my life doing it my other skills are too old and not updated for work as anything else.

[clay]

My biopsies were all clean. NO malignancy! YAY!

I see my Oncologist next week for tumor marker levels and my regular 3 month FU.

Thanks for all the kind words, warm hugs, and loving support from all of you here..means the world to me...:). I <3 you all...:)

[Tommi]

My biopsies were all clean. NO malignancy! YAY!

I see my Oncologist next week for tumor marker levels and my regular 3 month FU.

Thanks for all the kind words, warm hugs, and loving support from all of you here..means the world to me...:). I <3 you all...:)

Yeah clay...:hangloose:

[julieisafemme]

Genesis and Italian Girl I am thinking of you. Caregiving is so hard. Kudos to you Italian Girl for caring for strangers. That must be a very hard job. I really miss my Mom a lot today. I am so blessed that I was there to take care of her in her last year. We have a large family and there was lots of support. My nephew graduated middle school last night and we all missed her so much. All of you caregivers out there please take care of yourselves as much as possible.