The mortuary thread

[Andrew, Jr.]

I know that I am not the only one fascinated by death. I am. Things that are curious to me are cremation, caskets, mortuary stuff, embalming, and so on.

Please feel free to post your thoughts and ideas here.

Namaste,
Andrew

[Apocalipstic]

When they cremate someone, what is left is called: Cremains

Cracks me up!

Then, if you are going to bury said cremains, you have to have the cremains filled urn buried in a mini vault. Which kind of resemble the Ark of the Covenant.

Hope you are not angry, I find funereal trappings amusing.

[Andrew, Jr.]

No, I'm not mad at all. I just find it hysterical all the names of everything. I am not one for words, and what I find out is amuzing.

Did you know that after one is cremated, that the body (bones) that are left still whole-ish are broken up? I thought these would burn down to ash as well.

[Jett]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

When they cremate someone, what is left is called: Cremains

Cracks me up!

Then, if you are going to bury said cremains, you have to have the cremains filled urn buried in a mini vault. Which kind of resemble the Ark of the Covenant.

Hope you are not angry, I find funereal trappings amusing.

Right "cremains"... that kinda cracks me up too.

I wasn't too sure that was correct but when calling to get a niche for my mom I had to use it.

I was like... "I need a spot for my mom's... umm... cremains?" She was like "Oh is she passed on?"... I'm like WTH? Of course she's passed on, why the hell else would she be cremains?

To top that off she's like "would you like to stay for the placement?"... I said "Well yeah I would think so." and she's like... "Well I ask because we have to take her out of the box because the box won't fit..."

(again WTH?)...

..."so we have to kind of squeeze the bag into the hole... "



WTH? I'm thinking like well no, we probably rather not see that but I think we'd have to hang out just to make sure they didn't put her in a wonder bread bag and hide her in the wall... I mean for cripes sake.

Anyway, yep "cremains"... (and yep I placed her somewhere else).

[Queerasfck]

Six Feet Under was a great show.

[Andrew, Jr.]

What are shadow people? I have only seen them out of the corner of my eye, and only at my last job.

[little man]

reposted 'cause i fuckered up my edit. so, no editing.

Cremating at the optimum temperature (1400-1800 degrees), the average weighted remains takes 2 to 2 1/2 hours

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Jackhammer

Well, no secrets here.

Oak Casket in the garage ... check
Embalming kit from the 1920s in the hall closet... check
( I keep the bottles of embalming fluid in the garage )
Urns in the library... um, not so much any more, damn shadow people are obsessed with them so they are out on the back porch.

Had to sell my 1972 Cadillac Hearse, the gas was killing me.

Great thread Andrew

Urns on the back porch, I see you are fitting right in to the South!

I always wanted a hearse!

Once, (not at band camp) I saw a convertible hearse in Detroit, I almost wrecked my car laughing!

[Andrew, Jr.]

Six Feet Under is still one of my favorite shows. It goes right up there next to the Sopranos, my most favorite show evah.

I went to a funeral home once with my Sunday School group. It was so cool. We spent most of our time in the embalming section. It was just overwhelming. And at the time, I think we were in 4th grade. I do believe that the younger you are, the more prone you are to spirits.

[T4Texas]

We have a great place here in Houston called the National Museum of Funeral History. It's a museum by the industry dedicated to the industry. I've been there a couple of times and what impressed me is that it's very well put together, tasteful and chock full of the most interesting things that relate to the industry. Among the things they have are small paper things, like advertisements, obituaries of famous people, and funeral home giveaways...a full mockup of a 1930's embalming room with all the equipment...a variety of caskets (antique) including a triple sized one that was specially made...and my personal favorites the hearses. They have not only vintage horse drawn hearses but about twenty motorized ones dating from the 1920's to the 1950's, all in like new condition. For car buffs its worth the trip just to see those. They have a website, but my link is not working so just punch in National Museum of Funeral History. Its a cool place, interesting and educational.

[Ms. Tabitha]

Originally Posted by T4Texas

We have a great place here in Houston called the National Museum of Funeral History. It's a museum by the industry dedicated to the industry. I've been there a couple of times and what impressed me is that it's very well put together, tasteful and chock full of the most interesting things that relate to the industry. Among the things they have are small paper things, like advertisements, obituaries of famous people, and funeral home giveaways...a full mockup of a 1930's embalming room with all the equipment...a variety of caskets (antique) including a triple sized one that was specially made...and my personal favorites the hearses. They have not only vintage horse drawn hearses but about twenty motorized ones dating from the 1920's to the 1950's, all in like new condition. For car buffs its worth the trip just to see those. They have a website, but my link is not working so just punch in National Museum of Funeral History. Its a cool place, interesting and educational.

http://www.nmfh.org/

I agree, the place is amazing.

[Apocalipstic]

Unn,

So sorry this thread is hurtful to you.

I think all of us have experienced deep loss. My Mother died when I was 13 and we moved to the US the same week with her casket on the plane with us and my Dad died 11 months ago.

I have always been surrounded by death and I have chosen to look at the amusing parts.

We all process differently, and this is how I do. I hope that we can agree to disagree and just stay on different threads on this one subject.

In all respect!

Jen

[Apocalipstic]

OK, so the people from the funeral home where we had my father's funeral called this week, they want me to buy a casket and plan my own funeral.

Not the call I was wanting...

I guess since Walmart now carries caskets, they are having to beat the bushes to find victims? clients? what would one call it?

[WILDCAT]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

OK, so the people from the funeral home where we had my father's funeral called this week, they want me to buy a casket and plan my own funeral.

Not the call I was wanting...

I guess since Walmart now carries caskets, they are having to beat the bushes to find victims? clients? what would one call it?

See Walmart "customer" service department: Bored to death complaints. (I guess?)

Other than a few funny lines, some sad stories - this thread is SPOOKY to me.

I do NOT want preservatives pumped into me. That seems insane to me and oh, so non-organic!! (Delaying the natural "process".) And I know how the blood draining is done and the doll dress up stuff. ICK!!! Shudder!

Part of my hospice training was to go into the bowels of a funeral home and see the "goings on". Well, not an actual... the equipment and full explanation.

I want cremated, but am deathly afraid of fires. (Seriously, now folks.) What if I am not dead? And the fire seems MUCH too hot.

So, I would have to have a "quickie" funeral. I think by law without the embalming, for obvious reasons you must "move" quickly with the service - if you are having one. Maybe just a memorial (?)

I did LOVE "Six Feet Under". That was a great show. I am NOT a fan of death and dying though.

Well, on that note: Everyone have a very lovely day. No slipping on the ice! (That is what killed the Atkins Diet guy!) Hmmmm, don't recall that as a death on my Six Feet show - come to think of it.



WILDCAT

[theoddz]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

OK, so the people from the funeral home where we had my father's funeral called this week, they want me to buy a casket and plan my own funeral.

Not the call I was wanting...

I guess since Walmart now carries caskets, they are having to beat the bushes to find victims? clients? what would one call it?

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/produ...i_sku=12569361

I think what I find most disturbing is that little button alongside the item that says "Add to Cart".

~Theo~

[Andrew, Jr.]

Anything new here? I find this topic so fascinating.

[canadianmusician]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

OK, so the people from the funeral home where we had my father's funeral called this week, they want me to buy a casket and plan my own funeral.

Not the call I was wanting...

I guess since Walmart now carries caskets, they are having to beat the bushes to find victims? clients? what would one call it?

Apocalipstic...I'm so sorry to hear that happened. That's really tacky and not professional. Did you report them to the local funeral directors assc? Embalmers and Directors are all licenced by provincial/state boards.

It's fine to advertise....I mean, a funeral home is a business and there are costs associated but I would NEVER call up the family of someone who's passed away asking them to buy a pre-plan. My fear is that it would retraumatize the family.

The best way to get business is to have reasonable costs, make sure the family gets what they want, and it's a profession where it's just a given that you'll go out of your way in some respects. It really upsets me that the funeral home called you and asked you to buy a pre-plan. They should have called to see how you were doing.

[la_la]

Did you know...

As part of your will/living will you will be asked if you want your body :
A. Buried
B. Cremated

I responded with C. Neither A or B appeal to me and I am awaiting a better option.

My lawyer was not amused and stated that I am voiding my will with this declaration as when the time came my body would lie in probate (years) until my true wishes were decided.

Lawyers have no sense of humor and no, I never changed it.

Peace

[Andrew, Jr.]

La_La,

What about freezing your body?

[la_la]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

La_La,

What about freezing your body?

Hey Andrew,

Not an option on a standard will.

Peace