Anger and Gender Smashing

why do some women (not all!!!) when angry and/irrate, kick you is in your gender or your cock?
when that woman is not angry does/would her comments make you feel cockless does it make you feel incomplete?

and why would someone attack the very core of your struggle the core of your inner exsistance that could have taken yuo/someone years to become completely at peace with?

just wonderign if this has happened to anyone and if so, how does one heal from it?

[Corkey]

Don't know, perhaps some don't fight well. My gender isn't in the hands of another. Be who you are and don't allow others to define who you are.

ETA: Butches can be just as callous to Femmes.

agreed no one controls anothers gender!!!
i think i am more askning if you could ever unconditionally respect that person again and probalby asking why such low blows?

[Strappie]

Originally Posted by Dario

agreed no one controls anothers gender!!!
i think i am more askning if you could ever unconditionally respect that person again and probalby asking why such low blows?

I would not respect that person any longer.. I may forgive them, but I will hold no respect for someone that "throws" things in your face on a daily/wkly basis. By the time it's all over and you break up, there is nothing left of your self. You feel belittled. Just be glad you are on the road to getting your self respect back!!

Good luck!

[smouldering]

Hi Dario and welcome to the BFP!, I hope you don't mind a femme speaking up? I agree with Strappie, words can be just as hurtful and I too would have a hard time trusting or respecting anyone that every time you are in a fight or disagreement, they throw low blows such as attacking the person you are, That is emotional and verbally abusive and I am sorry to hear this is something you've had to experience.

[ButchEire]

This sums it up. If they are choosing to berate you when they are angry, it isn't about you, this is their "stuff." No excuses though, bad behavior is bad behavior.

Originally Posted by Dario

why do some women (not all!!!) when angry and/irrate, kick you is in your gender or your cock?

i supose i have learned years ago, that no matter the situation, you never attack a persons physical or emotional arenas. i do not understand the concept of being callous to folks especially ones yuo love. no matter how intense the fight is, for me it is just wrong to try and purposefully inflict pain.

i welcome thoughts and replies from anyone, opinions are much welcomed and un=judged.

[persiphone]

Originally Posted by smouldering

Hi Dario and welcome to the BFP!, I hope you don't mind a femme speaking up? I agree with Strappie, words can be just as hurtful and I too would have a hard time trusting or respecting anyone that every time you are in a fight or disagreement, they throw low blows such as attacking the person you are, That is emotional and verbally abusive and I am sorry to hear this is something you've had to experience.

i agree. a person that resorts to character assassination is not worth contemplation, much less anything else.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Dario

agreed no one controls anothers gender!!!
i think i am more askning if you could ever unconditionally respect that person again and probalby asking why such low blows?

There are some people who are willing to hit with low blows when they are angry. People fight with low blows when they really want to hurt someone.

Trust them again? Depends on the history of the person, who the person is, and the situation. Only you can answer that, I think.

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by Dario

agreed no one controls anothers gender!!!
i think i am more askning if you could ever unconditionally respect that person again and probalby asking why such low blows?

Respect is a two way street. Personally no, but then I'm not going to be around people who disrespect me in the first place.

[Strappie]

Originally Posted by Corkey

Respect is a two way street. Personally no, but then I'm not going to be around people who disrespect me in the first place.

Corkey,

I commend you for not being around ppl that treat you like this. But from my own past sometimes it's unavoidable. You date the person for a while then when you are IN it or INVESTED in the relationship their true colors SHINE bright. But not before they know we are invested. I personally think I'm a very good judge of character, sometimes those people are VERY good at hiding whom they really are till they have you sucked in.

In my opinion it is 100% Verbal Abuse! In Dario's case, it's verbal abuse!

Strappie:
the bait and switch is the absolute worst game ever. you are right they encapsulate you and once they lose a 'sense of emotional control' they turn complete opposite. unfortunately yuo are right the emotional invetsment on the unsuspecting person is too great to just walk away. then one day yuo have enough and the walls rise and whammo you are just as cold emotionally as they are.
not a trait i enjoy but when it comes to survival...what choice is left\?

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by Strappie

Corkey,

I commend you for not being around ppl that treat you like this. But from my own past sometimes it's unavoidable. You date the person for a while then when you are IN it or INVESTED in the relationship their true colors SHINE bright. But not before they know we are invested. I personally think I'm a very good judge of character, sometimes those people are VERY good at hiding whom they really are till they have you sucked in.

In my opinion it is 100% Verbal Abuse! In Dario's case, it's verbal abuse!

I did a lot of talking to the people I dated. I observed behavior prior to investing in a relationship. Yes, some can be devious, but that holds true for a lot of folks, not just the dating pool. My experiences will not be just like anyone else's, but they are indeed my experiences.

[persiphone]

Originally Posted by Corkey

Don't know, perhaps some don't fight well. My gender isn't in the hands of another. Be who you are and don't allow others to define who you are.

ETA: Butches can be just as callous to Femmes.

omg yes! that just happened to me! it's very confusing, too. because how can they possibly say something like that when they proclaim to love you? it's like a crocodile trying to convince me it's a koala. i just don't get it. and forget the pain of it....it's just not logical to me.

[Outlaw]

Originally Posted by Dario

why do some women (not all!!!) when angry and/irrate, kick you is in your gender or your cock?

Are we speaking to a literal or figurative cock kick?

Did she hurt your feelings or physically pain you?

I would like to comment, but before I do, I would like to be sure what's going on.

Thank you!

outlaw;

i am not talking abuot me persé and it is figurative. because if it were physical abuse than i would have no questions.

i was in a club a few weeks ago (with some friends) and while out for a cig, we heard a couple fighting, it was pretty harsh! the femme said some rather incidious things to the butch and all i could say to my self was OUCH! (granted i have no idea what the butch had said previously nor was i present for anything other than the screaming)

hearing the femme attack her partners gender and make cockless comments reminded me of how my ex used to attack me, it snapped my brain into a spiral of question. so i was wondering how some butches & femmes cope with this type of anger adn how one heals from such emotionally 'murdering' and verbal attacks!

[Corkey]

Dario, if someone were that hell bent on trying to destroy my image of myself, and yes it's been tried, I am old and mature enough to just say NO. No one gets to tell me who I am. Period. If they do use that age old "cockless" I just remind them Mine are interchangeable. Usually shuts them up.
Do not allow anyone to tell you who you are! You as a Human Being have that right, no one else. Seems to me, and this is just an observation and not a condemnation, you may want to find a new set of folks to hang out with.

Forgot to say welcome to the Planet, where we really don't care how you identify as long as you are respectful to the myriad of personalities who are here. Yea for diversity!.