Bed Side Preference and Dominance

[MasterfulButch]

In my experience to date, I've noticed a correlation between dominance and bed side preference. That is, where there is a dominant character in a pairing (not necessarily dominant as a sexual identity) that they prefer to sleep on the right hand side of the bed.

Has anyone else noticed anything similar? Does the theory fit you?

[Smiling]

Nope. I've always slept on the left side of the bed because I'm left-handed. lol, except I'm not sharing at the moment so I sleep on the whole thing now. lol, I dominate the entire bedroom. lol, master of my domain so to speak.

Originally Posted by MasterfulButch

In my experience to date, I've noticed a correlation between dominance and bed side preference. That is, where there is a dominant character in a pairing (not necessarily dominant as a sexual identity) that they prefer to sleep on the right hand side of the bed.

Has anyone else noticed anything similar? Does the theory fit you?

[Daniela]

Originally Posted by MasterfulButch

In my experience to date, I've noticed a correlation between dominance and bed side preference. That is, where there is a dominant character in a pairing (not necessarily dominant as a sexual identity) that they prefer to sleep on the right hand side of the bed.

Has anyone else noticed anything similar? Does the theory fit you?

I've done left and right. The only constant in my selection is that I'm always closer to the bathroom.

Ladies' choice!

[WolfyOne]

I've done both sides of the bed in my younger years, but as I've grown older, I prefer the left side.
Personally, I don't see a theory in this at all.

[SleepyButch]

I've typically been the dominant one in the relationship and when I'm sleeping in the same bed with someone, I prefer to sleep on the side closest to the door unless she objects because she cannot sleep on whichever side is not closest to the door. So this theory doesn't fit for me but it will be interesting to see the responses of others.

[starryeyes]

I sleep on the right!! But not always. I slept on the left in my last long term relationship.

[CherylNYC]

I'm not ever the sexually dominant partner and I sleep on the right side. I'm even more attached to that side now because the right side of my bed is against my bedroom wall. To totally seal the deal, I don't ever need to get up for the bathroom in the middle of the night, which means that anyone sharing my bed has the freedom to do so without waking me.

I'm interested in what SleepyButch wrote because it sounds like she prefers to take a protective position. It makes sense to me that I would prefer my partner to sleep closer to the door and that I would prefer to sleep in the more protected place, closer to the wall.

Originally Posted by SleepyButch

I've typically been the dominant one in the relationship and when I'm sleeping in the same bed with someone, I prefer to sleep on the side closest to the door unless she objects because she cannot sleep on whichever side is not closest to the door. So this theory doesn't fit for me but it will be interesting to see the responses of others.

[Smiling]

Originally Posted by CherylNYC

I'm interested in what SleepyButch wrote because it sounds like she prefers to take a protective position. It makes sense to me that I would prefer my partner to sleep closer to the door and that I would prefer to sleep in the more protected place, closer to the wall.

Hi Cheryl,
I inferred the same thing from Sleepy's post, too; but what you wrote is also very interesting to me because personally, I'm not sure I'd feel more safe being sandwiched against the wall. On the contrary, I think I would feel trapped and therefore, less safe in the event of a fire or other emergency.

On the other hand, you can never wake up on the wrong side of the bed, I suppose, lol. Hope you don't mind my 2 cents; I just found your perspective interesting.

[Orema]

I'm usually not the dominant partner in the relationship, I currently don't have a bed mate, and I primarily sleep on the right-hand side. My nightstand is on the right side even though I'm left handed. It works for me, for now.

When I do have a bed mate, it makes no difference to me what side I sleep on. I allow my bed mate to choose because I can sleep on either side without any problems.

I don't like sleeping against a wall. I don't usually suffer from claustrophobia, but I it kicks in when I'm sleeping against a wall. I shiver just thinking of it!

[SleepyButch]

Originally Posted by CherylNYC

I'm interested in what SleepyButch wrote because it sounds like she prefers to take a protective position. It makes sense to me that I would prefer my partner to sleep closer to the door and that I would prefer to sleep in the more protected place, closer to the wall.

Originally Posted by Smiling

Hi Cheryl,
I inferred the same thing from Sleepy's post, too; but what you wrote is also very interesting to me because personally, I'm not sure I'd feel more safe being sandwiched against the wall. On the contrary, I think I would feel trapped and therefore, less safe in the event of a fire or other emergency.

I don't think I've ever slept in a bed that was up against the wall but I can see your point Smiling. You could always pull the bed out a foot or so right?

My reasoning is that I am being protective. If something comes in the door, it will be me that encounters it first. Just makes me feel better. It's the same reason I walk closest to the curb if I'm walking with a femme. It's just what I do and I'm sure I'm not the only one around her who feels this way.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by MasterfulButch

In my experience to date, I've noticed a correlation between dominance and bed side preference. That is, where there is a dominant character in a pairing (not necessarily dominant as a sexual identity) that they prefer to sleep on the right hand side of the bed.

Has anyone else noticed anything similar? Does the theory fit you?

Do you know a lot of Dom/Dommes/Tops/Dominants/Masters who prefer a the right side of the bed? I display myself via flagging when out and about sometimes to let people know the dynamic, and left is Dominant, how did the right side get picked as the dominant side? How was it assigned? I am asking because I have never deconstructed my bed before as far as how I identify or am.. So I have been thinking and thinking about it and had the questions above, I may have more because things like this make me think...

Happy New Year!

[Corkey]

Left side, closest to the door, closest to the bathroom, closest to the 2nd set of windows, closest to the heater, closest to the fan, closest to the scratching board for the cat and last but not least closest the the back door, in case of emergency. I don't think personally given all of the above it is a dominant thing as much as my wife lets me thing.... and I'm the Dom.

[EnchantedNightDweller]

My guy can have whichever side of the bed he wants.

[Bard]

I usually sleep nearest to the door. But tend to roll to my left side now that my shoulder allows it. But really if she wanted that side I can be persuaded. I have always preferred to be near the door. . Just in case ya know the only time I wasn't was in our old apartment strange.. ahh well

[Kätzchen]

My preference for a social life in bed centers primarily upon getting some rest (sleep). If it also includes a delicious variety of entanglements , then I would feel delightfully content.

[Femmadian]

Dominant and a right side sleeper here.

I would say that the right side-dominant and left side-submissive thing has borne out for about 70% of my experiences if I look back. Then again, maybe I'm just a stubborn ass when it comes to the bed side. Who knows?

So, I sleep on the right side of the bed (along the edge), on my right side, and usually with my right arm up and under the pillow in a sort of modified Superman pose. I'm also right handed. I wonder if hand dominance factors in as well...?

For me, sleeping on the right side of my body is most important overall, especially when sharing the bed with someone. If I'm spooning someone while falling asleep, I prefer to be on my right. If I'm being spooned, I still prefer to be on my right. If I'm cuddling up to their chest while they're on their back or we're intertwined while facing each other, still the right side preference remains. Anything else just feels awkward and uncomfortable.

I don't care if I'm by the door or not. If you want to sleep on the side closest to the door because you feel protective about it or something, that's fine... as long as it's on the left side.

I also can't sleep by the wall if the bed is pushed up against it. I will, without fail, end up kicking it throughout the night, usually followed by a somewhat delayed "ow" muttered under my breath as my sleepy brain takes a moment to register the shooting pain in my foot. I usually like to dangle one foot slightly over the edge which is impossible to do when it's pushed up against the wall (though it doesn't stop me from trying, apparently!).

I really do have a hard time sleeping on the left and especially when in a new environment with a partner. It's to the point that I'm often not even able to fall asleep if I'm "left on the left." Resting on my right side when on the left side of the mattress feels like I'm getting a face full of bed when I sleep... slightly suffocating and I feel trapped. I wish that wasn't the case (because it's really annoying!) but my body just won't relax enough in those scenarios to fall asleep.

Now, once I'm asleep, that's a different story. I've always been a notoriously deep sleeper. Growing up, it was a daily ordeal for my family to wake me up for school in the morning. They either had to resort to jumping up and down on the bed and over my comatose body (which would usually take a minute or two to take effect) or they would employ a "release the hounds!" approach and let the dog(s) in to get them excited and have them jumping all over me instead. Seemed to do the trick. I am totally that person who has to set at least five alarms on her phone because I will usually sleep/snooze through the first four (at least!). So, once I'm out, I'm out. I once joked to a partner who also liked to sleep on the right (who was slightly dominant, or at least tried to be... ) that I needed to be on the right side to fall asleep but that once I was there you could probably move me in my sleep and I wouldn't notice. Well, that morning I woke up and I was mysteriously laying on the left side of the bed and they were sleeping soundly on the right! They had moved me in the night and I didn't even notice.

So, I guess if my partner has a really strong preference for the right as well, they could always just stay awake and try something like that...? That said, I'm also the owliest of night owls so I will probably just end up outlasting you anyway.

[QueenofSmirks]

Originally Posted by Femmadian

...
So, I sleep on the right side of the bed (along the edge), on my right side, and usually with my right arm up and under the pillow in a sort of modified Superman pose. I'm also right handed. ...

Me too, exactly as you described... about 90% of the time. About 10% of the time I find myself in some other random position, but not often.

However, if I'm in someone else's bed, I defer to them on whichever side they want to sleep on. I'm well aware that many people have sleep issues, and I want everyone to be comfortable in their own bed. I sleep better when I'm alone, in my own bed. When I travel, I rarely sleep well; when I'm in someone else's bed, I wake up every couple of hours.

[Cin]

Originally Posted by MasterfulButch

In my experience to date, I've noticed a correlation between dominance and bed side preference. That is, where there is a dominant character in a pairing (not necessarily dominant as a sexual identity) that they prefer to sleep on the right hand side of the bed.

Has anyone else noticed anything similar? Does the theory fit you?

I'm trying to figure out what dominant would entail when not talking about sex or sexual identity and the OP mentioned that it is not necessarily about dominant in a sexual identity. So what does dominant look like in a non sexual context. I guess I would consider myself the sexually dominant one in my marriage but in every other way possible I defer to my wife. Does that make me submissive? Or dominant? But is it dominance when she isn't dominating me? I just like her to have her way whenever possible? I think I sleep on the right. That is if the right is the side that's on the right when you are in the bed. But if you are standing in front of the bed to make the call then my wife sleeps on the right and she is not sexually dominant but she most always gets her way if I have anything to say about it.

I seem to be unclear on the definition of dominant if you remove sex from the equation.

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

I'm trying to figure out what dominant would entail when not talking about sex or sexual identity and the OP mentioned that it is not necessarily about dominant in a sexual identity. So what does dominant look like in a non sexual context. I guess I would consider myself the sexually dominant one in my marriage but in every other way possible I defer to my wife. Does that make me submissive? Or dominant? But is it dominance when she isn't dominating me? I just like her to have her way whenever possible? I think I sleep on the right. That is if the right is the side that's on the right when you are in the bed. But if you are standing in front of the bed to make the call then my wife sleeps on the right and she is not sexually dominant but she most always gets her way if I have anything to say about it.

I seem to be unclear on the definition of dominant if you remove sex from the equation.

Miss Tick! Missed you around here! Your lovely wife, too.

Happy Holidays, wherever and whenever you are dominant!

I have a couple of different reasons that I always need to lay (lie? I never get them correctly) on my right side;

1. My right eyelid twitches a little when I am falling asleep. I have no idea why, it just does. If my face is on the pillow on my right side, I do not notice it and I can fall asleep.

2. I had back surgery a long, long time ago and it is better for my back if I have pillows under my knees and along my right side.

As we fall asleep, she is the big spoon and I am the little spoon so we both face on our right sides to spoon (hope that makes sense).

For sex, she likes me on her left side so she can use her (dominant) right hand.

Oh dear, this all sounds so complicated. It does work very simply in practice, however.

She likes to think she is the dominant one in our relationship and I guess that she really is-sexually and otherwise.

[imperfect_cupcake]

I only feel uncomfortable with someone in my bed if it's new - I wake up a lot. I think that's rather normal. However, the last person I dated a bit more seriously, because there was such a good click, I felt comfortable off the bat. She was dominant and chose the inside of the bed. She had horrible nightmares so I'd cuddle her to sleep and tell stories. I have a nice, soft, deep, feminine voice, with a soft west canadian accent that's been influenced with a very mild southern english accent. which is great for relaxing people. If she fitted I'd wake up, press up against her and tell her a story, leaving her asleep but stopping the anxiety.

In sleep we are very vulnerable, and I get the urge to be protective, I get it too. But I'm hardly going to be protecting someone from some marauding night burglar. LOL. That thought seems incredibly absurd and beyond unlikely. But that's probably to do with where I live. Protective stances are appreciated just so long as they don't think they have to be aggressive to others. I have had partners like that. My exwife I called "my dutch Doberman" and although I appreciated the protective stance, she would, on occasion get a bit over the top with it. Annoying.

She did finally learn to let me deal with things on my own, first and be backup instead.

But, I can be pretty fiercely protective too, having said that.

/off topic.