Bed Side Preference and Dominance

[Cin]

Originally Posted by MasterfulButch

In my experience to date, I've noticed a correlation between dominance and bed side preference. That is, where there is a dominant character in a pairing (not necessarily dominant as a sexual identity) that they prefer to sleep on the right hand side of the bed.

Has anyone else noticed anything similar? Does the theory fit you?

I'm trying to figure out what dominant would entail when not talking about sex or sexual identity and the OP mentioned that it is not necessarily about dominant in a sexual identity. So what does dominant look like in a non sexual context. I guess I would consider myself the sexually dominant one in my marriage but in every other way possible I defer to my wife. Does that make me submissive? Or dominant? But is it dominance when she isn't dominating me? I just like her to have her way whenever possible? I think I sleep on the right. That is if the right is the side that's on the right when you are in the bed. But if you are standing in front of the bed to make the call then my wife sleeps on the right and she is not sexually dominant but she most always gets her way if I have anything to say about it.

I seem to be unclear on the definition of dominant if you remove sex from the equation.

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

I'm trying to figure out what dominant would entail when not talking about sex or sexual identity and the OP mentioned that it is not necessarily about dominant in a sexual identity. So what does dominant look like in a non sexual context. I guess I would consider myself the sexually dominant one in my marriage but in every other way possible I defer to my wife. Does that make me submissive? Or dominant? But is it dominance when she isn't dominating me? I just like her to have her way whenever possible? I think I sleep on the right. That is if the right is the side that's on the right when you are in the bed. But if you are standing in front of the bed to make the call then my wife sleeps on the right and she is not sexually dominant but she most always gets her way if I have anything to say about it.

I seem to be unclear on the definition of dominant if you remove sex from the equation.

Miss Tick! Missed you around here! Your lovely wife, too.

Happy Holidays, wherever and whenever you are dominant!

I have a couple of different reasons that I always need to lay (lie? I never get them correctly) on my right side;

1. My right eyelid twitches a little when I am falling asleep. I have no idea why, it just does. If my face is on the pillow on my right side, I do not notice it and I can fall asleep.

2. I had back surgery a long, long time ago and it is better for my back if I have pillows under my knees and along my right side.

As we fall asleep, she is the big spoon and I am the little spoon so we both face on our right sides to spoon (hope that makes sense).

For sex, she likes me on her left side so she can use her (dominant) right hand.

Oh dear, this all sounds so complicated. It does work very simply in practice, however.

She likes to think she is the dominant one in our relationship and I guess that she really is-sexually and otherwise.

[imperfect_cupcake]

I only feel uncomfortable with someone in my bed if it's new - I wake up a lot. I think that's rather normal. However, the last person I dated a bit more seriously, because there was such a good click, I felt comfortable off the bat. She was dominant and chose the inside of the bed. She had horrible nightmares so I'd cuddle her to sleep and tell stories. I have a nice, soft, deep, feminine voice, with a soft west canadian accent that's been influenced with a very mild southern english accent. which is great for relaxing people. If she fitted I'd wake up, press up against her and tell her a story, leaving her asleep but stopping the anxiety.

In sleep we are very vulnerable, and I get the urge to be protective, I get it too. But I'm hardly going to be protecting someone from some marauding night burglar. LOL. That thought seems incredibly absurd and beyond unlikely. But that's probably to do with where I live. Protective stances are appreciated just so long as they don't think they have to be aggressive to others. I have had partners like that. My exwife I called "my dutch Doberman" and although I appreciated the protective stance, she would, on occasion get a bit over the top with it. Annoying.

She did finally learn to let me deal with things on my own, first and be backup instead.

But, I can be pretty fiercely protective too, having said that.

/off topic.

[MasterfulButch]

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

I'm trying to figure out what dominant would entail when not talking about sex or sexual identity and the OP mentioned that it is not necessarily about dominant in a sexual identity. So what does dominant look like in a non sexual context. I guess I would consider myself the sexually dominant one in my marriage but in every other way possible I defer to my wife. Does that make me submissive? Or dominant? But is it dominance when she isn't dominating me? I just like her to have her way whenever possible? I think I sleep on the right. That is if the right is the side that's on the right when you are in the bed. But if you are standing in front of the bed to make the call then my wife sleeps on the right and she is not sexually dominant but she most always gets her way if I have anything to say about it.

I seem to be unclear on the definition of dominant if you remove sex from the equation.

To be fair, I think everyone’s take on what constitutes dominance probably differs.

My intention when separating dominance from sexual energy was a focus on inclusion. I’m sure there are those who eschew the label of being a sexual dominant yet still consider themselves to be the dominant one in their relationship dynamic. I didn’t want people reading the thread to think it was only aimed at those where there was a clearly defined sexual dominance at play.

As for dominance outside of the sexual arena, in the interests of providing one perspective on your question, I would say it boils down to decision making. If one party defers to another, say about which movie to watch, it could mean they are submissive, yes. Alternatively, it could mean that they are dominant because they make the choice which is to defer. It could also be that there is no formal power dynamic in play but on this day, at this moment, one has a hankering for a certain film and the other has no strong inclination either way.

Ultimately, I think the only person who can answer whether something makes them dominant or submissive or anywhere in between is the person who is experiencing it.

[Corkey]

Ok, I'm a Dom, always. It doesn't matter what situation, upright and walking or prone. Can't speak for others but that's just me. Deffering to my wife is called communication in our home. We're married and she gets a say in our relationship....

[Logicaly]

I used to always sleep on the side of the bed closest to the door. It was just something I did, I always figured if someone comes in that door that isn't supposed to, they have to hit me first. If I sleep alone, I take up the whole damn bed! However now that I am sharing my bed again, I find myself sleeping on the side furthest from the door (right side). Only because I want to cuddle her at night, and its less painful for me to sleep on my left shoulder than my right.

[bright_arrow]

I sleep on my right side, so bed preference isn't really that big of a deal as long as I can sleep on my right side and still get cuddled! Occasionally I will sleep on my left side but it's rare and most often when I am not feeling well.

[The_Lady_Snow]

When I get home tonight I'm going to sleep on the other side, kind of like an experiment of sorts, I want to see if my Dominant self is affected, or if I sleep better, or dream more.

I'll let y'all know how that goes later on..

[girlin2une]

I am most definitely NOT the dominant partner in a relationship, but I AM left handed. I choose to sleep facing the wall...actually with my head touching the wall (typically on my left side but right side of bed)...on a side note, I am the only one in my bed, and I find it rather comforting to sleep diagonally (top right corner to bottom left corner, although I really don't take up much room)
*hope I've not confused the planet*

[The_Lady_Snow]

I'm still Dominant, still slept well and feel no different, tonight I'm flipping and sleeping with my feet towards the headboard and will allow the bed to be occupied!


See y'all tomorrow!