Here come the lesbians, here come the leaping lesbians...

[Kobi]

The last piece here is from a conversation I had recently with a Femme who didnt seem to quite get why I as a female id butch was having trouble with any of this.

Feel free to add on here.

As a femme, she never has her gender or femaleness called into question.
As a female id butch, I customarily do.

As a femme, there is never a question about her preferred pronouns.
As a butch, do I prefer her/she, hym/hy, hir, he/him etc.

As a femme, she can blend into the mainstream without question.
Even as a female id butch, I am outed on sight.

As a femme, there is no male telling her the new label of choice is "less than masculine".
As a female id butch, I am expected to accept a male telling me my new label is "masculine of center" and be happy about it!

As a femme, she has the luxury of varying the gender of her preferred partners. She might add queer to it as a qualifier.
As a butch lesbian, it's women only.

As a femme, she will always be a femme.
As a female identified butch lesbian, I am thrown into a pot with males. My femaleness and lesbianism is equated with males and heterosexuality.

As a femme, she will never be mistaken for a man.
As a butch I usually am.

As a femme, she never had to deal with the impact of being told she just wanted to be a man.
As a butch, I did. And with the emerging trans community, the message now comes from within rather than outside the community. Whether from within or without, the message is a slap in the face.

As a femme, she will never be too feminine.
As a female id butch, the message that I am not masculine or male enough is getting annoying.

There are reasons why female id lesbian butches have problems with being lumped in with males/masculine id's. Seem like pretty darn good ones to me.