Empathy

[Ginger]

Originally Posted by JustJo

Hmmmm....interesting.

I was reading and thinking about this thread and felt like there was another side to this I wanted to raise and didn't know how....right up until Anya hit the nail on the head.

Being raised by and with a pair of angry narcissists, I learned "empathy" early....not in a good way, but as a means of self defense. If I could read what was coming, who was in what mood, and know what would appease....then I was safer. Not safe, but safer.

It's a hard thing to unlearn...feeling like I need to supply all of what everyone wants and needs, place my feelings and needs beneath theirs, etc. I'm learning, and doing better all the time....but that "disappear and lose perspective, as well as themselves"....oh hell yeah.

Thanks Anya.

What you learned as a kid Jo—wow that feels so familiar. It reminds me of what I was hearing and how I felt when I went to my first Al Anon meeting, and the children of alcoholics were talking about that very thing.

Empathy as self defense. Ouch. That is definitely me sometimes.