Bed Side Preference and Dominance

[MasterfulButch]

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

I'm trying to figure out what dominant would entail when not talking about sex or sexual identity and the OP mentioned that it is not necessarily about dominant in a sexual identity. So what does dominant look like in a non sexual context. I guess I would consider myself the sexually dominant one in my marriage but in every other way possible I defer to my wife. Does that make me submissive? Or dominant? But is it dominance when she isn't dominating me? I just like her to have her way whenever possible? I think I sleep on the right. That is if the right is the side that's on the right when you are in the bed. But if you are standing in front of the bed to make the call then my wife sleeps on the right and she is not sexually dominant but she most always gets her way if I have anything to say about it.

I seem to be unclear on the definition of dominant if you remove sex from the equation.

To be fair, I think everyone’s take on what constitutes dominance probably differs.

My intention when separating dominance from sexual energy was a focus on inclusion. I’m sure there are those who eschew the label of being a sexual dominant yet still consider themselves to be the dominant one in their relationship dynamic. I didn’t want people reading the thread to think it was only aimed at those where there was a clearly defined sexual dominance at play.

As for dominance outside of the sexual arena, in the interests of providing one perspective on your question, I would say it boils down to decision making. If one party defers to another, say about which movie to watch, it could mean they are submissive, yes. Alternatively, it could mean that they are dominant because they make the choice which is to defer. It could also be that there is no formal power dynamic in play but on this day, at this moment, one has a hankering for a certain film and the other has no strong inclination either way.

Ultimately, I think the only person who can answer whether something makes them dominant or submissive or anywhere in between is the person who is experiencing it.